Well it’s my wife’s birthday on Monday
After a 2 week wait she finally got to see the dentist yesterday, after an X-ray, they told her that the pain seems to be from an infection of the nerve; as such they have put her on a course of antibiotics
The full course lasts a week and she cannot drink alcohol during this time*
I have bought her a selection of Bols Including Peach Schnapps, Crème de cacao, Maraschino, Sloe gin and two lucky dip ones with a view to try my hand at making cocktails this weekend.
When did you last buy a present and got it wrong?

Alt: looks like it’s going to be a long Friday at this rate, I’m actually looking forward to my meeting this afternoon I may hold it over a pub lunch, what can you get away with at work?

Alt:alt: What you got on this weekend?

*Both the dentist and the chemist strongly warned that alcohol intake could end up with hospitalisation
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:05, 215 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

way to disrespect Chompy m8 se'sly

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Fuck him if he cared he would be here with us, innit?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:07, Reply)

He's trying to, give him a chance.
It takes 4 hours for a page to load on his 'wap phone'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:09, Reply)

i was having breakfast in bed.
Thanks for all your kind words.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:34, Reply)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHOMPLEGLOMPLETON
MAY YOU ENJOY THE FRUIT OF THE WISDOM GAINED OVER YOUR THIRTY LONG HARD YEARS
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:01, Reply)

I'm going on a "brown people out" march
with prominent politician Nigel Havers.
( Kroney, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:07, Reply)

likin dis

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Geordie girls beware then

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:08, Reply)

orange please

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Sorry them Geordie girls all look the same to me

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Me too

Mainly like a shaved hippo trying to escape a child's play tent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)

Hahaha

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Notable men named Nigel
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)

If you need someone to try your cocktails for you, I'm your man
Alt: It's a slow day for me so I will mostly be on here, Reddit and maybe playing some Go online.

Altalt: Twickenham for rugby, maybe a 10-15k run with an old friend, ahead of the Winchester Tough Mudder in a fortnight's time.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:07, Reply)

I bought Lee 'Riggers' Rigby a copy of the Q'ur'r'r'r'an

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Ouch
The whole book or just cuttings?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:09, Reply)

The whole thing, the price was 'slashed' so I thought I'd 'run over' the shop and get it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Best take some short cuts to get ahead of the crowd

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Cleave it out

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)

and a DVD of 'Chopper'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:11, Reply)

I bought my mate Michael a set of kitchen knives, including a really sharp meat cleaver.
Alt: Coming and going as I please.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:11, Reply)

So no one around to see you wank then?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Well, thanks for asking HH, it's nice that you care.
For the record, BGB's coming up for the weekend and we're all off to a 3 band gig in Moaty World tomorrow. The rest of the weekend is unaccounted for as yet, but I'm sure we'll think of something. Personally I quite fancy visiting Northumberlandia, which is a giant earth-formed sculpture of a reclining naked woman. Apparently the view from her tits is quite spectacular - you can see her fanny.

I also have next week off. Woo.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Yet to go there
Say hi to bgb for me.

Job news?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Recruitment company want to see me next week, got a few applications in, or to submit.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:14, Reply)

*crosses fingers*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)

*crosses Mafia*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)

*crosses road*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)

*crosses that bridge when I come to it*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:18, Reply)

*kriss krosses*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)

YW DG
I was hoping to have a BBQ & make Cocktails :(

Looks out of the window
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:14, Reply)

supposed to be nice sat and sun

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)

I really, really wish there was a Moaty World theme park

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Your chance to make a fortune is there, my son...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:23, Reply)

"It'll blow you away!!" - Paul Ross

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)

"Lets head off to Moatyworld" - Paul Ross, again

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Free bucket of KFC and a four pack for every family!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Try the fish(ing)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:36, Reply)

This post needs more credit than it's getting, sporters.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)

thank you kindly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)

I still think the whole tale needs setting as a folk ballad.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)

in sewers I am Raoul

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)

I'm a shot gun killer, and my shotgun must reload

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:30, Reply)

I shot a load of people
Now my head it must explode
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)

To be fair mate
with one exception (that I cant remember) the whole antibiotics and not drinking thing is a myth. To do with antibiotics commonly being prescribed for STD's (back in the day) so the idea was to stop people going out and getting pissed and shagging rather than anything to do with the medication.

But as I said there is one that makes you spew like a trooper.

Boring post is boring
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)

THe onces the dentist gives you are the exception. That is why both the dentist and the pharmacist warned her.
Do you actually want Mrs HH to die?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)

Looks shifty
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)

shes not my wife

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Yes

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:18, Reply)

Correct Answer. 10 Points.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:21, Reply)

If it's Metronidazole
Do NOT DRINK with it.Ever.Trust me on this one. It's also given to serious alcies because of the really unpleasant side effects......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Yep The antibiotics and alcohol thing is BS most of the time thats why they went out of their way to make it...
Abundantly clear that this particular course and alcohol MUST NOT BE MIXED AT ALL
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)

She will only spew up mate
This means that she will be in the perfect position for a vigorous bumming with her head down the toilet
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)

I worked with a woman
who's daughter was conceived as her hubby took advantage of her head down the bog position and gave her a vigorous scuttling from behind.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)

North East culture

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:21, Reply)

She was a classy bird, and no mistake.
Her husband was possibly the creepiest looking fucker I've ever met.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Happy Birthday Chompy!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)

assuming she was a geordie too
then I would assume that it was less "taking advantage" and more "actively encouraged"

Howay man husband man, can yous kick my back doors in but I just havta hurl firust
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Kick your back doors in is a fucking brilliant phrase

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:38, Reply)

lifts cap.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:40, Reply)

And they say romance is dead.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:21, Reply)

I don't know which is worse.
That this happened, or that she told someone else that this happened.

Or that she knew that was the only time they had fucked and so that was the only way she got knocked up.

Hang on! You work with Mrs Battered!!!!?????? Is she very sad at the moment?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Haha
Have a click you cunt
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Naughty Al.
Actually, now I remember she looked like Olive Oyl from Popeye, and her husband resembled one of the Romeo cleaners that used to be on Eurotrash; the one with the dark hair.

A stunning couple.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)

I used to love Eurotrash.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:30, Reply)

They still show it on some Freeview channel.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)

It wasn't quite no Rapido

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Also, she was disconcertingly open about her sex life.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:29, Reply)

I bet she didn't even drop her chips

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)

How romantic \o/

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:21, Reply)

That is partly true
however the efficacy of cerrtain antibiotics IS affected by alcohol
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:09, Reply)

I'm going to an Agricultural show tomorrow.
It's supposed to be sunny all day. I like this.

I may shave especially.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Ours is on Monday.
Haven't been in a few years, I'm quite looking forward to it. Although, you can't really describe it as a proper agricultural show, anymore. It's gone from judging cattle and sheep to falconry and Range Rover displays in the thirty years I've been going.
( Kroney, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:18, Reply)

It's your equivalent to the Treworgey Tree Fayre isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)

I would have thought it would be all
Runny cheese and wine
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)

& 'who has the most Gitanes-stained 'tache' contests

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)

+incest

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Talking of runny cheese this is on this weekend
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooper's_Hill_Cheese-Rolling_and_Wake
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Not again ffs

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)

I'm going to fit it in a few more times before the end of the day

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)

ah the classic double H
chat up line
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)

If it aint broken dont fix it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)

i was going to say, bit old for you, isn't he?
but i may be confusing you with bartleby...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)

I still have my boyish good looks
GODAMNIT
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)

Thats harsh
I would be willing to bet that ol double H here is younger than me.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:31, Reply)

yes, but are you a paedo?!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Calm down, Paxman.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:38, Reply)

nothing, i'm fucking excellent at buying presents
although my brother asked for a lawnmower this year. a fucking LAWNMOWER. how dull can you get? i had to spend ages on amazon trying to work out the difference between a roller one and a floating one. eventually i went for the tried and tested wine-choosing method: get one that's expensive enough* and it must be good.

alt: b3ta and that's IT. if i even wear a shirt that's a bit bright, even underneath a black suit with black tights and black shoes, someone will mention it. fucking law firms.

altalt: pub tonight, soggy bbq tomorrow, boozing on sun, dull-arse baby visiting on mon...

* within reason. there is only so much i am willing to spend on a fucking lawnmower, and it ain't that much!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)

I how bright can a shirt be? does this mean you can't wear a white blouse?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)

white is all you should really wear in court
there are embarrassing stories of judges saying, "i can't hear you," to which the hapless solicitor simply clears his throat and shouts a bit more..... one of my colleagues once had to have it adjourned and run out to m&s for a white shirt. but most judges don't bother with it.

i bought a shirt from m&s that was very bright fuchsia with red sleeves (nicer than it sounds!) and wore it peeping out from underneath a very dark navy trouser suit. and still got, "off to a party, are we?" from a partner.

yeah, because i wear trouser suits to PARTIES.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Is this why you have to dye your hair?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Tee hee
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:31, Reply)

no
i dye my hair because of fucktards making it go grey.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:31, Reply)

I was rather horrifed by the amount of grey hair that came off my bonce at the barbers the other day.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:34, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)

I quite like my Salt'N'Pepper look

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Same here
Doesn't bother me one bit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Nor me.
It lends a certain gravitas.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)

I hope we dont turn up in the same outfit

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)

*pushes it*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)

*spinderellas*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)

It doesn't really bother me, I just appear to have more grey than I thought.
Probably not helped by the fact I hadn't had a haircut for weeks so it was longer than usual.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)

all of the above saying you don't care
THIS IS BECAUSE YOU ARE MEN. MEN ARE OK WITH GREY HAIR.

NOW FIND A WOMAN WITH GREY HAIR THAT LOOKS ATTRACTIVE.... GO ON.......


YEAH.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Melissa McBride

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Never heard of her.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Walking Dead lady

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Angelina Jolie?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)

tit off

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:45, Reply)

The slightly less successful sequel to etc zzzzz

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:46, Reply)

feck

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:46, Reply)

John Woo's latest ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:46, Reply)

MARR/Off

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:48, Reply)

:(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:58, Reply)

It was more disconcerting when I found my first grey pubic hair last week :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Gudrun Ure

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:43, Reply)

She certainly is Super

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)

She's a SERIOUS granneh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)

SuperGran was great wasn't it?*
*It really wasn't great.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Better than Dr fuckin' Who mate

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)

It was on ITV; of course it was shit.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)

rachelswipe fact 11561
i have never seen an episode of "dr who"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Neither have I; it's all an affectation.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 11:00, Reply)

young claudia black right, but with grey hair

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:45, Reply)

More pepper for me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)

NOMNOMNOM

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)

I was joking with my kids the other day about starting to dye my hair to get rid of the grey
My daughter asked me what my natural colour was as she "couldn't remember it not being grey". Sad times.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 24 May 2013, 11:11, Reply)

and THIS is why we wear condoms, children

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:15, Reply)

It was a harsh burn.
We all try to cover the truth. I'm "salt and pepper" and you're "not ginger".
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 24 May 2013, 11:34, Reply)

It just shows off her purple tattooed nipples

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:31, Reply)

i have holes cut out for those

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Are you Janet Jackson?
/ac
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)

well, what have you done for me lately?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)

It's all about Control with you isn't it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:31, Reply)

you make me want to SCREAM

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:35, Reply)

woah woah are you sure he didn't mean a sit-on mower
those are fucking awesome
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:43, Reply)

he probably did
but he wasn't fucking getting one

my friend's dad has had about 4 of those nicked from their house. nobody touched his fancy car, but the lawnmowers were ridden away down the street...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)

I was really hoping this was going to end with the police just following the neatly cut path through a field straight to the robber's lair

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)

no
it led to 4 insurance claims and ultimately electric gates.

put sherlock right out of business.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Get her a weekend break in Woolwich.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:34, Reply)

That cuts deep Stunned poster :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Did I mention I was born in Woolwich?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Best of all building societies

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)

It's the one to be with.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Well if you can't be with the one you love,
Love the one you're with
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)

What, and take her up the arsenal?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)

I once bought steven hawking something totally unusable by a man in his conditions but I've not made it up yet,
I'm going to go with a set of scatch gloves, the velcro throw and catch things
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)

'ning Gluey

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:57, Reply)

I'm terrible at present buying, I spend ages and ages thinking about it and looknig for gifts
Then they get books anyway

Alt: Pretty much anything, to be honest if I didn't have the pay every month I'd think I'd been fired and no-ond had told me

Altalt: Baby shower tomorrow, which I didn't think men went to but his bird's Peruvian and it's 'traditional' so I'm gonna hang about in the kitchen drinking all the wine

Sunday we've got drinkles in the evening to celebrate my flatmate's bird movnig out
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:00, Reply)

THEO THEO THEOBAN HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The selection of Bols drinks was something she mentioned at Christmas, I was gonna be all like Tom Cruise in "Cocktails" :(
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:02, Reply)

If you want to give her your bols just wait til she's passed out from the booze and antibiotics and lower them into her gaping slack jawed drolling mouth

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:03, Reply)

passed out dead/or in a coma
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:04, Reply)

at least she'll take it up the shitter with no complaints hten

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

:o(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Books are the best presents.
Unless they're shit ones.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Worst book I ever got as a prezzie was one that explained that inanimate objects that are touched by humans become 'sentient' in their own right and have a life of their own
I got as far as the 'proof', which was about someone losing their wedding ring on a beach and then finding it on that beach years later, cos it wanted to retutn to its owner cos she'd imparted her sentience on it

I threw the book at a wall and never opened it again

If you want it it's yours
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:05, Reply)

You're alright ta

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

It were given to me like 'oh this book is a REVELATION'
I don't talk to that person any more
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Tolkien always was a bit long winded

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:07, Reply)

I tried to re-read the lord of the rings the other day
shite innit
just some kids going on a walk
load of pish
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Even worse I watched "The Hobbit" film
Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill, They are adding loads of shit in to make it 3 films long
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:10, Reply)

That was alright that, I fell asleep, got a fair few minutes of decent kip

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:12, Reply)

I watched Django Unchained last weekend that was ok
but they could have made it much better
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:14, Reply)

that poor book, you imparted your sentience all over it then discarded it like a old jizz bleached sock :(

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:16, Reply)

shit actually what about my jizz bleached socks
they'll be super sentient now
probably running successful lawfirms
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:17, Reply)

I heard they're into crossfit and longboarding now

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:17, Reply)

christ they sound like the worst people

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:21, Reply)

babyshower.
That sounds hot!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

sadly it's not about pissing on babies

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

the worlds just too PC these days

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:09, Reply)

hidden cam lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

FUCKFUCKBASTARDFUCKINGFUKERS
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Pardon?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:12, Reply)

My afternoon meeting has just been cancelled
IT'S THE ONLY REASON I'M AT WORK TODAY
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:13, Reply)

So go home and stop complaining.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:13, Reply)

I'm here now, It's pissing it down with rain whats the use?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:14, Reply)

Do an SSG then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:18, Reply)

What is one of them?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:19, Reply)

It's either be tedious on the internet then accuse anyone who points this out of being upset
or attempt suicide and fail.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:20, Reply)

You're already half way there on the first one.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:21, Reply)

\o/
heywaitaminute
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Now accuse me of being upset.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:22, Reply)

and then kill yourself.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:24, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1973445
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Ohhhhhh I thought it ment I had to drink loads of alcohol and steriods

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:21, Reply)

cor I wish I could be so un-upset that I keep talking about it at all hours
Does that make me upset for not banging on about not being upset?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:26, Reply)

You are clearly very upset here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:26, Reply)

I'm trying to be less upset but I keep getting warning messages that I'm posting too often about how non upset I am

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:28, Reply)

^ upset ^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Get drunk and piss the bed
Though I don't see how it'll help.
( Kroney, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Everything is worth trying once*
*This may not be true
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:28, Reply)

In that case
May I suggest DYAAKY (but only do it once)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:32, Reply)

:o

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I think Harters might be annoyed at something, Monty.
It's just a hunch.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 11:13, Reply)

*nose points*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:15, Reply)

I think its that unlike us real men
he wont drug his missus into a partial coma and then bum her
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:24, Reply)

altalt: your mum's head as a hat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Shut up Nakers nobody likes you anyway

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:19, Reply)

I like Nakers.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:22, Reply)

You like tofu, so your opinion does not count

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:22, Reply)

click

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:24, Reply)

*bums*
*falls over*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:22, Reply)

who's a Mr.Grumpy pants?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:22, Reply)

It's Monty, isn't it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:23, Reply)

I fucking am
I could have been high end gaming today, instead I'm stuck here at work
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Deposits handed over, contracts signed, as of tomorrow I am a Londoner.

( Kroney, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I thought you were a Yankee?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:25, Reply)

le mc rebelle

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:27, Reply)

this deserves a great deal of credit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:32, Reply)

I said the same about sporter's post in the Moaty World sub thread earlier.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 May 2013, 11:33, Reply)

I went back and clicked it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:40, Reply)

'Le rebelle est ici'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Et il est robuste de rue

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:35, Reply)

Pique comme une abeille

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Remember to wear your best pearly king outfit

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 24 May 2013, 11:26, Reply)