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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Great news!
Richard Curtis appears to be retiring!

What was the last great news you had?

Alt: what makes a good leader? Are you one? who is?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 7:07, 244 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Blackpool update.
Saw some excellent music, had several sherbets and there was a fight in the hotel about 6.30, think cops were called. What a lovely town. How's you hippy?
Last great news, my mum's a lezza.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 7:33, Reply)
not too bad ta
Wishing the day away
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 7:46, Reply)
IT'S MY LAST DAY IN THE PUB TODAY!
and I've already taken the morning off to go home and sort out my new 190 litre fish tank.
Boom.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:04, Reply)
Good on yer.
Hope your staff hold hands in a circle and sing a 'thank you Windy Pig' song, in weird high voices.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:06, Reply)
I was over at the death pub last night,
And one of the girls cried at the end of my last shift there.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:08, Reply)
I hope like a true british gent
You took advantage of her crying to slip a sneaky stink finger.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:11, Reply)
Nah, I think she was more crying from relief that a known murderer was finally leaving.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:13, Reply)
hahahahah
Now they can stop going to the bog in pairs.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:14, Reply)
Mornin' all
Last great news? Daughter and her B/F both got the jobs they were after.
Alt: Buggered if I know but I've met a couple.
In other news I'm packing for a week's hols, this is a good thing.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:08, Reply)
Jobs are good.
I'm a little nervous about being our of work. I've walked in and out of pubs as I've pleased (pretty much) the last few years, and always had a favour owed in case it sell goes tips, first time since I was 18 that I don't have a guaranteed job somewhere.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:11, Reply)
esp with a mortgage.
I lack your stones big time.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)
^^this - big time^^

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:34, Reply)
I've got a partner earning well mind, and borrowed a little from my dad, so it's not a massive risk.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Jobs are overrated.
Although, once you're on the pub circuit, it's pretty much guaranteed. Nice one.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:39, Reply)
There's something strange about today but I can't put my finger on it
Rained a lot last night and it woke me up, I still feel like I've just been woken by the rain. My eyelids are heavy and a bit itchy. I'm sure I'd remember someone spunking in my eyes, feels like they have, my eyelid muscles are getting their workout today. Something's just not quite right though, I can feel it in my bones.
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Yeah sorry about that bruv, it was there or up yer nose tho eh.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
I think I made enough of a fuss about my great news recently.
Alt: Schubert wrote some excellent Lieder. I particularly like Der Erlkönig.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:46, Reply)
alt: you're a fucking pieder MORE LIKE

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)
"The sign of a good manager is a clear desk"
A good leader is able to shout loudly, and knows all the latest terms for describing things.

For example, I attended a meeting recently which was opened by the chair saying "We're reaching out to you for this challenge we've been gifted."
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:49, Reply)
"We're reaching out to you for this challenge we've been gifted."
To quote Jim Jeffries - "Punch that cunt in the head". If even the civil service can have a purge on what I call 'Twatspeak' I'm sure you and your colleagues can.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)
Innit, doe?
It is testament to either my amazing self-restraint or massive homosexuality that I didn't spit my coffee all over her, leap across the table and beat her into a bloody, crying, blubbering mess.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)
I don't understand the problem with what she said.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Then
DKAAKY.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)
So, in amongst the twatspeak, what did she want*
Some help with a problem, perchance?

*Other than a good, solid boot in the clunge.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)
Yes
What she meant is "Can you give us a hand with this, and do your bit, please?"
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)
Sounds boring when you put it like that.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)
It IS boring.
No amount of reaching out or gifting challenges will change that.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:15, Reply)
Aw what a shame
I loved him in Some Like It Hot.

Last "great" news was finding out I didn't have the old cancer.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 8:59, Reply)
You have the new cancer?
Are they going to name it after you?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:02, Reply)
Yeah, the new type is actually GOOD for you
It's all a scam.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)
I KNEW it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)
Excellent news.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Yeah, I guess
Depends on your point of view
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)
Well, I prefer you cancer free and living the high life.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)
The TH Administration appreciates your support
*hands out baseball caps and car stickers*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:16, Reply)
Sorry to hear you were ill old chap, I had no idea.
Great news that you beat it though, well done you
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)
It was quite a while ago now, about a year maybe?
But thankyou...yeah, I was pretty pleased :)
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Aw-raaaaht
*kneeslides*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)
They're not getting rid of me that easily, Monts
I'm inde-fucking-structible
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
In other news.
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/5698062/Burglar-left-bruised-and-bleeding-by-retired-boxer-72.html

This guy worked for me briefly and is a wanker.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:00, Reply)
Oi Frank seems like a sound bloke

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:03, Reply)
Woah check 'em

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)
we have a great laugh here

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)
The burglar or the old guy?

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)
Burglar.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:07, Reply)
The journalist

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Y'know for kids!
Bot Dog
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)

The_IMFAug 09, 2013
"My 1 year old enjoys putting this in her mouth and then launching it."
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:14, Reply)
IMMA FUCKEN SUE THOSE CUNTS

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Can someone paraphrase battere's deleted post please?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Naked ape sucks donkey cocks.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Donkey clocks eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:14, Reply)
I dunno what you're on about mush .

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:15, Reply)
Why I oughta!!
*shakes fist*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:17, Reply)
he has made an ass of himself

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:17, Reply)
I don't see what all the hee haw is about it really

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)
You got a triple 6 there Baked Ape
I believe if you'd have had a picture of Christian O'Connell pointing to the top corner saying WHOAH you'd have won the internets. It sure makes tangers 'DUB' up there pale in comparison.
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:16, Reply)
YOURMEBESHTPALCHOMPYBUTAAFUGGINHATEYA
NAHYOURALRIGHT HAHA YOUBIRDGETSHERKNICKERSOFF HAHAHAHA *hic*
*SNORES*
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:17, Reply)
hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:17, Reply)
His alcoholism is funny

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:18, Reply)
I read that in a Dudley Moore from 'Arthur' voice

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:18, Reply)
The last great news I've had was when you all sponsored me
Alt:
In terms of work a good leader "asks" you to do jobs and a bad one "tells" you you do jobs
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:18, Reply)
For the record, I haven't sponsored you.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)
Thanks

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)
i'm thinking about it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)
Did you sponsor me when I had my head cut off?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)
i meant to
but now i come to think of it, i might not have done :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Good job really, he still appears to have a head.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
and you think that's a good thing?
interesting
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)
Midlands boys stick together

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)
with what, nobody wants to know

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I haven't sponsored you.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I haven't sponsored you yet
but I might, when I get paid.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Please do

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)
What was it you're doing again?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Great North Run

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
And you're raising money to fill the potholes back in afterwards, yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Yep
you cunt
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:23, Reply)
I see they're making noises about travellers now the poshos are affected.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)
wasn't that thread a couple of days ago?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)
Sort of.
Only

a: mine's better
b: CMD's talking about it on the meeja now.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)
Morning
An evening on the sambucca has left me with a small hangover (good job I ATE SOMETHING or it would be a large one).

Now I've got a day of grown-up Meccano as a bunch of Ikea furniture has just been delivered.

No idea who Richard Curtis is, soz.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Well, my inheritance got wired over this morning.
Just waiting for it to turn up in my account. So I guess that's pretty great news.

Alt: Charisma. People instinctively follow charismatic people. I'm not one of life's natural leaders, I don't think.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)
you're one of life's natural dickheads, i think

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Woah!

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)
he loves me really

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)
Many would agree with you.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)
Mine's a pint, guv

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)
So's mine.
Of cognac.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Mine's £2 coins

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
2.0 coins if you keep that up...

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)
*nipple tassles*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Soz, skint

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)
Alt: Candles!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Nine years of my life I've wasted in this place.
I blame DJ.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
*checks*
8 years, 3 months and 11 days
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
9 years, 6 months, 5 days
oh dear
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)
Noob!

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:12, Reply)
3 years, 2 months and 20 days
Still a babby
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)
eally?
Last night he saved my life.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
There's too many of them

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)
What has the little boy from Roseanne got to do with anything?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)
He introduced me to the place. The cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
That little SHIT

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I'd punch that fucking ugly twat Darlene in the face too
He looks a wrong'un
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)
I'd let Sarah Chalke fucking destroy me
I mean grind me into the ground until I'm little more than a stain with a beard.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Oh yes!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:45, Reply)
happy shitmod-day b3th!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Christ, will SOMEONE please buy some guitar stuff from me??
Why doesn't anyone want any of it?? It's good stuff!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)
I'd love to buy some guitar stuff from you
But I dont have any money or time to play
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:02, Reply)
Two very vaild reasons
I appreciate your candour
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)
I played my guitar for the first time in about six months at the weekend
It felt goooooood
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Noice
What have you got?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)
Fender Strat
All ash body with Seymour Duncan pickups. It looks teh sexeh
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Woah, very nice
Finish?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Slightly glossy varnish
Not too shiny. I loved that guitar the minute I saw it!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Oh, so just a natural finish? So no paint or anything?
That's extremely cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
No paint, just lovely wood

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Awesome
I love the look of ash. I have one of these:

And I love it so much
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:17, Reply)
*paws screen*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:26, Reply)
A GUITAR
god cant you fucking read
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:10, Reply)
no :(

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
bum-AIDS

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:13, Reply)
I'll give you bumAIDS in a minute, sonny jim
No, wait....
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:14, Reply)
I'll take the Martin LX1
I can't pay you for it though
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
With regret, that's not on the list
I love it too much to let it go
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
I need an acoustic

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
This is a great time to buy one
There's so much choice out there for every budget. I recommend giving Sigma a look. They used to be owned by Martin, but they still use the same designs and build quality, but for a fraction of the price.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)
*makes notes*
I may have to ask Santa for one
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:09, Reply)
They're brilliant for the money
Find out if your local place stocks them and give one a strum.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:15, Reply)
What I'd really like is a Gibson J200
Can you get me one?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Hey, what my baby wants, my baby gets

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
You're the best sugar daddy

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Great news!
Mrs TH is getting a Gibson J200!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)
I wish
She's never shown any interest. It would be so much easier to get big purchases past her if she did.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:22, Reply)
I tried a J200 - found it a bit cumbersome...
...probably due to my short arms and fat gut. Weren't they called 'The whispering giant' at one time because they were very very quiet for such a big guitar?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I saw John Renbourn live a couple of years ago
He was using what I can only describe as a fat guy guitar stand - a little stand to support his guitar on his lap, so that he could hold it in such a position that his rather large belly didn't inhibit his playing.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:48, Reply)
I've seen those!
They were supposed to hold the guitar at the correct angle - bet they were actually designed for the more portly gentleman though!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:58, Reply)
What you need is a slap.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
+bass

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:15, Reply)
I will have the Fireball XL5

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
I'll have the Run DMC

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
I'll have the Notorious BIG

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:12, Reply)
I saw his only UK gig.
It was during his 'still alive' period. He was bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:17, Reply)
He got much better after he died

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:17, Reply)
He sure did.
Like that INXS chap - he was fucking dreadful MOR pop when he was alive - afterwards, a rock legend.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Although not very good at wanking
Which in itself, should be quite straighforward
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)
If you can't mastur the basics (GEDDIT!!!!) then you've no hope.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:25, Reply)
To be fair to the chap
He was shagging Kylie when she still had 2 proper breasts so that is a feather in his MOR cap
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:23, Reply)
I have no money and I don't know how to play.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:12, Reply)
Again, valid reasons
Perhaps I'm expecting too much of the general public. Maybe fewer people play guitar than I thought.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:13, Reply)
She's just being lazy
It isn't exactly hard to play the guitar
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Yeah FFS look at some of the IDIOTS out there doing it all day long.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)
The great thing about it
Is that you can learn a couple of chords in an afternoon, then spend the rest of your life trying to become a wizard.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:20, Reply)
I was taught by a great, great guy
whose technique was to get you to bring him a tape of two songs you wanted to play, the next lesson he'd teach you - and afterwards show you how you got there via scales etc. It meant you were playing stuff you wanted to hear straight away so didn't get disheartened.

Really clever. Such a nice dude as well, little Californian chap.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Cool
Getting lessons is always a good idea...I'll do it myself one day.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:26, Reply)
I was 12 or 13, the chap taught electric guitar at Winchester college.
It meant we got a soundproof room in the Music Dept to crank it up with impunity.

That sounds a bit gay. It wasn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I would suggest
Reading and Writing before you try any music lessons
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Nah man
Imma free wheeler, man...I'm a crazy loner, man.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Already got a guitar, soz

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:12, Reply)
Yeah, but imagine how great it would be to have MORE
Eh? Eh? MORE! Eh?

Or an amp? I have nice amp, good price.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:14, Reply)
I'll gladly buy your Hendrix pedal, the one you like, you know the good one which you don't want to sell.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:16, Reply)
If you ever find yourself down this way, you can come and play with it as much as you like
AND THE PEDAL HAHAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)
oh HO!!!!
I might treat myself to one for my 40th/selling my flat.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)
If I can actually sell any of this gear
I'm thinking of buying the hendrix fuzz face. I'd quite like the Joe Bonamassa one, but it's illegal in this country believe it or not. It's got some electrical component that doesn't pass H&S regulations or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:25, Reply)
Doesn't that make it more appealing?
The forbidden fruit of effects pedals, if you will
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Oh absolutely
I want to get a Klon Centaur overdrive pedal. Not because I like the sound of it, but because it's £1000 for a pedal. Something that valuable HAS to be brilliant, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Basic economics there, mate
The more expensive it is, the better it is.
That's why Nakers is so stylish.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Dunlop univibe please
Makes your guitar sound like a Hammond organ
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:38, Reply)
I'd rather have a Hammond
B3, please.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:46, Reply)
And please can I have a Fender Rhodes while you're at it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:46, Reply)
I'd buy a rotten dog's leg if it had a picture of old Jimi on it.
I'm such a gay for Jimsy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:27, Reply)
*offers Jimi Hendrix signature pregnancy test*
£450
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:33, Reply)
ILL GIVE U A GRAND

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:34, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:35, Reply)
here, as it's quite quiet this morning, see if you can answer my question about albert the nightstalking marshmallow on here
b3ta.com/questions/exposed/post2043713
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:09, Reply)
It sounds to me like in his wankiing haste he omitted to lock the door, is all

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:15, Reply)
It sounds to me like he was, as per usual, LIEmallowing out his arse.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:16, Reply)
It's a shame it's a lie. Having somebody that creepy would have produced endless amusement.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)
He has three hands?
"Squirt of lovely smelling pink soap in left hand, yes. Trousers round ankles, yes. Right hand positioned on wall above toilet bowl, yes. Spare hand ready to work, yes"

Also, using pearl soap for lube is rank.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)
hahaha didn't spot that,good old Octomallow.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:24, Reply)
I dont think I have ever used lube to have a wank
Am I doing it wrong
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Depends on if you are cut innit.
I don't either but...
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:28, Reply)
NO WANK CHAT

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:34, Reply)
HE STARTED IT!!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Ought to let him finish if he's already started.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:37, Reply)
That's good manners!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Magnus Magnusson lols

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:40, Reply)
I'm at the Magnus strokes!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Thanks guys

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Oh, HIM?
It's a sad day for the Brit Rom Com.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I'm in bits mate.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:32, Reply)
It's that smug speccy guy, right?
Looks like Boris Johnson's and Bill Gates' lovechild?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:39, Reply)
That's a very accurate depiction.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:41, Reply)
I'm trying to think of great news and it's depressing me that I aint got none.
Still, life ambles by at a stress free pace so I can't Grumble.

A great leader needs to be in control, not a cunt and not taken over by power.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 10:36, Reply)

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