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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hi guys!!
Anyone else's social media outlets filled with "first day of school" pics today? Makes me sick. What makes you sick?

How is Tuesday panning out for you? Half past suicide here and only one coffee down.

Alt. Last thing you bought. Mine was some new hi-tops.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:56, 156 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Bleach
The last thing I bought was a sandwich
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)
You should try the diluted stuff with gin. Lovely.
Or Milton.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)
It makes me nearly as turned on as GCSE girly results day. As I like to call it.
7.30 start and things are getting worse. 14.30 client meeting followed by beers with Aussie lawyers.

Alt: A cheese and onion roll.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)
It's more nauseating than pet pics.
Congratulations on your worn out baby cannon spawn going to school.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
Just post the word 'would' under each pic.
I guarantee you won't see any more.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)
any more daylight through the prison walls, you mean?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
Pretty sure it's not an arrestable offence, but you're the lawyer...

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)
Look but don't touch policy.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
Raw butter makes me sick. that and other people's happiness.
Alt: A pair of Caterpillar boots. And some tangfastics.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)
"raw butter"?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
I can eat it melted or cooked in things, but not in i's 'solid' state.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
you're weird

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
no youn are

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
Who eat's a pack of butter?
Even spread on toast/sandwichs/YM?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
No spread, no butter. Dry sandwiches.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2070097
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)

www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/paulas-fried-butter-balls-recipe/index.html
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:36, Reply)
Deep-fried butter?
Jesus.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:39, Reply)
most of my friends' kids are still under 4, so that joy is a few years away yet
tuesday is hard work, dj gj. i've got a headache that will not quit.

last thing i bought this morning was 30 packets of tasty dry-roasted chickpeas from holland & barrett. however, soon it will be a rubiks cube void, as i am buying one for a present for someone who has hurt his back and already has every dvd and book under the sun.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Plenty water. Might be dehydrated.
A Rubiks Cube Void? What's that?
Surely They would appreciate some porn and chocolate more?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
A clopper so vast you could solve a Rubiks Cube in it without catching your arms on the sides?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)
Brilliant

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
I bet Emvee already has pictures of this happening

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:41, Reply)
I had too many pints at darts last night.
Can't be arsed today. Boss has given me something utterly pointless to do.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
do you play in a league?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)
Yeah, fourth division though.
So not exactly good.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
So your a bad, fat, tattood, mulleted, beer swilling darts player?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
Nah, I'm built like a gypsies dog and don't have tattoos or a mullet.
Nice try though.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)
No social media sites for me
Oysters make me sick

Alt: A packet of Brannigans roast beef and mustard crisps and a crusty cob.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
I had the worst food poisoning off a packet of mussels once.
They were pinned to a bar wall with the scampi fries so the warnings were all there.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

c g + job
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)
Running, apparently
Tuesday is meh. On the plus side the calves are in school/nursery again but we found a wasp's nest last night that has been sorted and an ant's nest in the back garden. INSECT WOES

Alt:
A Boots meal deal yesterday. It was shit
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
Them new starters to fast for you?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
Bees do the what now?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
Ants won't last much longer. They bugger off when the weather changes.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)
They wont now all the odd gel is down for them
Little fuckers seem to love it
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
People who use websites that allow them to choose what content is displayed to them and then complain about the content they see on it make me sick.
Alt: A slap up feed of curry on Sunday evening.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
we don't post any mini ape pictures online, cos we're not dicks

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)
A mate of mine post pictures of his coneheaded son nearly every day. It's ridiculous.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
mine isn't.
Im having a fry up for lunch, I'll let you all know how it was.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)
*insert long debate about what should/shouldn't be included in a fry-up here*

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
+ what oil to fry the bitys in

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)
*secondary debate regarding tomato ketchup vs brown sauce*

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)
brown toast please

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)
Get Mystic Meg here...

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:43, Reply)
common i suspect

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Why do you hate your country?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
The only people that eat a "fry up" for lunch are the sort you see on TV because their weigh 30 stone and are dying

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)
Washed down with 2 litres of Diet Coke

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Im hungover and I watched the last episode of The Trip and they had a fry up.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)
on a tuesday?
Wow your descent in alcoholism has been rapid post breakup
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)
Its the Battered approved method

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

New batch of homebrew needed testing.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)
Does home brew save you money, or just encourage you to drink more?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
that paunch won't grow itself

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Yes.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)
you can make booze for like 40p-£1 a pint.
So yeah it can save you money but it's more about making something that you then enjoy.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Sausage
Bacon
beans
Hash browns
egg
Fried bread
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
- beans
+ black pudding
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
no black pudding :(

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
+ LARD

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BLACK PUDDING IN THAT LIST!?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)
and the tattie scone

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Home made fried bread is something I've never been able to get right
Always too oily
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)
WHAT KIND OF OIL?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
Who gives a fuck?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
Try running it through the toaster first.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
have to get the oil super hot.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
So he'll need an oil with a particularly hi smoking point?
Or maybe an animal fat might be best
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)
NO OIL CHAT

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)
Tramadol made me sick as a butcher's dog.
Tuesday is working out just fine so far, thank you for asking.

Alt: Can't remember the last frivolous thing I bought for myself. I might buy something nice later, though, as I'm shopping around for a 4oth present for one of my 'besties'.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)
the last frivilous thing i bought was a silk pocket square with little pink, blue and red flowers on
it's delightful
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)
NONCE

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
show your working

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)
Silk pocket square
Quentin fuckin' Crisp
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)
i am dapper
remember unlike most of you freaks I don't work in a dark underground server room
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)

dapper a bent spastic
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)
I am guessing this
jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2070143
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)
very nice.
Chicks deffers dig a man that accessorises well.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Did you sponsor me?
If so, thank you very much
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
I did.
I was very tempted to put the message 'Run, Fatboy, Run'.

But I didn't.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)
Thank you for both parts then

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
sir sir
I did sir... but only so you feel obliged to run, and then, due to being an terrible unfit Geordie, you will keel over and I can move in on your missus and new gaff.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
I don't think he cares, Bonzo.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)
No one cares, b3th.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
still free house
I can sell the kids for medical experiments kerrr and I believe Ching
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:32, Reply)
You won't get much for used mackem kids.
Probably best to put them to work up a chimney or summat until the TB finishes them off.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Now thats proper business thinking
Cheers
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Deal

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:32, Reply)
A lad I held the day he was born started High School today
Fucking hell.

So far, so meh.

Alt: A pint of Centurion's Ghost.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)
Fucking pikeys stopping for a MacDonalds on their way to the hospital

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
I got a letter from the DVLA asking me to renew my driving license the other day.
I can't believe it was 10 years ago I learned to drive.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
^this.
I passed my test in '02, and had to get a new licence last year.


Has the road related death toll risen in the last ten years?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)
The MAserati crash ratio has risen

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
That's waiting on my incident report.
I'm really not sure I can be arsed. I don't even notice the damage to my bonnet, and it's probably more hassle than it's worth.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)
+ beetles
Seatbelt a bit too tight?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)
What?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Beetles bonnet
its a euphemism my dear for a lady garden
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:32, Reply)
Ah, right.
Not heard that before.
As you were.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:36, Reply)
cos it looks like a fanny innit

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:41, Reply)

t
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:43, Reply)
that's a nice pint.
York brewery do some lovely ales.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Aye, was rather good
Wish we'd stayed at Mr Foley's for a bit longer, really.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
don't know that place
Have you been to Outlaws Yacht Club? It's very cool. Probably not your kind of place.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:31, Reply)
Sadly not, will keep an eye out for it though
Mr Foleys is on The Headrow, down by the Library
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:34, Reply)
My mate from America came to visit last week.
I was her birthing partner for her daughter who is now TWELVE!!

OLD :(
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:44, Reply)
Sticking my finger down my throat.
Imagine a thread discussing sandwichesAND oil Mr J. Imagine.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
Who in their right mind would put oil on a sandwich?
Even those forrins who dip bread in oil are wrong.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:45, Reply)
dipping bread in olive oil is great, you mouth wrong

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:46, Reply)
I expect you like garlic too, you cosmopolitan wanker.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:48, Reply)
i fucking love it and butter spread thickly on some nice sour dough

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:51, Reply)
You're weird.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:53, Reply)
Homosexuals
Alt. A packet of peanuts
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Wait...
Is that what makes you sick, or how your Tuesday is shaping up?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
It wasn't me!

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:45, Reply)
Muslims, Pakis and Jews.
And gingers.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:28, Reply)
meat makes me sick
the thought of chewing it and having to swallow it makes me retch. see also oysters, slimy little cunts. and sprouts.

metaphorically speaking, cruelty to animals, lies, cheapskated-ness and certain things that i saw in medical reports during my time as an insurance litigator.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:45, Reply)
*Oysterfives*

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:46, Reply)
but six came out

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:46, Reply)
????

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:49, Reply)
it's a reference to the world's most gross joke
actually it was pretty funny.

especially for nakers.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:52, Reply)
i am hilarity personified

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:59, Reply)

hilarity a bent spastic
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:00, Reply)
Animal cruety and being tight fisted are my favourite.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:47, Reply)
YOU MAKE ME SICK

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:52, Reply)
GINGER WOMEN BEING SICK MAKES ME SICK

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:53, Reply)
THAT'S VERY NICHE
I BET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ANY GINGER WOMEN
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:57, Reply)

GINGER
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:59, Reply)
oh bravo

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:00, Reply)
I KNEW A WOMAN ONCE OKAY?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:03, Reply)
i don't believe you

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:05, Reply)
Don't care anymore.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:06, Reply)
your mum doesn't count, btw

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:07, Reply)
Does yours?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:07, Reply)
unlikely
what, with having been buried for over 5 years

but you can get out a ouija board and ask, if you like
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Oh yeah, Dead Mum Club.
Still, I *did* say knew......
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:10, Reply)
she had much better taste
my grandma, on the other hand...
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:11, Reply)
Better taste? I'm nice, actually.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)
Sprouts are nice cut up and pan friend with pancetta.
Not for you though, being a veggie.
I doubt it has the same taste fried with tofu or whatever.

I tried being a vegetarian once when I was a kid. Used to hang about The Monument with all the cruelty hippes.
It was going well until they told me I couldn't eat sweets because of gelatin.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:55, Reply)
yeah, i tend to ignore things like gelatin
mainly because penny pigs are fucking great
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 12:56, Reply)
Your hypocrisy makes me sick

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:00, Reply)
pfffft
i have said a billion times that i don't eat meat purely because i don't like it. if i liked it, i'd eat it.

that being said, i would cry for a year rather than actually be able to kill anything.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:02, Reply)
They do veggie percy pigs now.
and other types of veggie sweets. They are strangely slimy.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:04, Reply)
indeed they do
but not veggie penny pigs. and penny is the lemon flavoured one. which pisses all over the manky percy.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:06, Reply)
haha!
You knocked around metal monument eh?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:00, Reply)
Back in the day. Not hippy green though.
Well, sometimes when I used to go to the alternative shop there for tongue bars and luminous piercing whatnots. Can't remember the name of the shop but there's two of them now...
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:03, Reply)
Dunno
but it makes me laugh walking across the new square and seeing all the clones trying to look individual.

Pet Sounds was there too - good record shop
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:05, Reply)
Yeah I used to get loads of ex radio dj singles there. Some good finds.
Kathmandu, that was it.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 13:08, Reply)

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