Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hello fellow made up peopleWhat have you got for lunch today or something. What would you have for lunch today if it was your last lunch ever? Would you take the opportunity to see what human flesh tastes like?
Alt: I'm going camping to one those music festivals that seem to be popular. Apart from a tent, sleeping bag and backup hotel reservation, what three essentials should you not go camping without?
Altalt: Who would you take a bullet for?
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:33,
173 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Alt: Weed, rizlas, cigarettes.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:35,
Reply)
Don't have the constitution for that stuff tangersThe only times I ever could was after a night on the pills
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
cuppa soup and a litre of water todaychoice between tomato and basil, vegetable, mushroom or spicy thai. probably thai.
alt: a hotel, a credit card, and a second credit card.
altalt: where would the bullet hit me? this will affect my answer.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
I have spicy noodles with homemade chicken stock, chicken, peppers and chilliI'd have a fucking massive rare steak, dripping in butter with triple cooked chips and the most expensive bottle of red available
Alt:
Penknife, torch, beer
AltAlt:
My valentine
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:39,
Reply)
i loathe steakbut I am quite jealous of the sauces when I go to hawksmoor. it's almost worth ordering peppercorn or Roquefort sauce, just to dip the chips in it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
Soz bbzSlow head-dobber innit. I'm sure everyone'll cope alright, they're a savvy lot (!)
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:42,
Reply)
This lot can't cope with two tasks.I'm more saddened that two decent threads will be wasted :(
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
I'm hoping for sausage and mash today \o/Alt: A woman, some drugs and some booze
Altalt: 'Bill Clay'
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:40,
Reply)
Alt: I was hoping they'd all get handed out at the entranceAltalt: \0/
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
I don't think they are, but I'm sure you'll find all three things are available once you get in(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
I think you underestimate what a clueless social retard I amNo telling what I'd end up with
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
Just don;t ask how they got them past the sniffer dogs(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
Alt: Pillow, beer, wellies/bootsAltAlt: No-one, currently.
Enjoying fantasy football this year?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:43,
Reply)
I'm doing better than last year in FFAlthough I guess anyone with Suarez as captain is doing alright
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:52,
Reply)
Yep, although his lack of scoring the last couple of games has me worried(!)(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
Last lunch ever. In order:Red pepper gazpacho with a watercress puree.
3 oysters with shallot vinegar.
French onion consomme.
Grilled sardines & panfried scallops with a gooseberry puree.
Rib of beef on the bone.
A selection of blue cheeses.
Port.
Coffee & petit fours.
Cigar.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
if i bought all that for you, and had famous redhead christina hendricks serve it to you nakedwould you then kill yourself?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
I had oysters on friday, i don't remember if they were nice (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
Harrods champagne bar; oysters & champagne - snack of champions. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:48,
Reply)
i know about 5 people who've all caught norovirus from eating oysters this winterthose things feed on shit. they literally eat shit.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:57,
Reply)
Aphrodisiac or not, there is nothing nice about them. taste nor texture(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:00,
Reply)
My sister's in-laws were all wiped out over Christmas with an iffy batch of oysters.They also kindly shared them round all their neighbours.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:00,
Reply)
Lunch is going to be the chip shop, I'm fucking starving.I may have mustard in honour of a great thread.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:45, Reply)
i did buy some cheese the other day that called itself "welsh rarebit cheese"it was welsh cheddar, with wholegrain mustard and real ale in it.
fucking NOM.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
Just checking, as you are clearly a bit 'Jaysum'(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
I meant special, but you do have the whole arse fingering thing so who knows?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:56,
Reply)
That's Y FenniAnd it is rather nice on toast.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:50,
Reply)
Two year olds are
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:52,
Reply)
Yeah, handy for bodging things back together when some twat falls over them.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:27,
Reply)
Tuna sandwich and strawberriesLast lunch ever would be a nice rendang from "rice"
alt. drugs, wellies, spare phone battery
Altalt. YD
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
I've already made a sandwich and brought in some fruit, so it would be a shame to waste them.You could've given me a bit more notice, then I might've prepared something a bit more special.
Y'know, maybe put some mustard on the sandwich or summat.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:50,
Reply)
I have never been to a festival. Doesn't appeal. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:58,
Reply)
All them angry rockers moshing about to thrash metal .Good luck to you 'Bill Clay'
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
Not entirely thrash, Prodigy are playing one nightAs are Chas and Dave
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:25,
Reply)
I'm going primarily to see The Prodigy and Sisters of MercyI have no intentions of 'moshing' . How these rapscallions intend getting a decent nights sleep after such shenanigans is beyond me. A jaunty sideways head-bob and finger-click is surely sufficient display of appreciation for the artistes in question.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Give Airbourne a watch too, they're something special live. Music isn't bad either!(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
I intend toMy eldest went to see them at Rock City a few years back and said they were good
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
I do not know what I shall have for lunch todayprobably a sandwich, but what it shall have within it is still a mystery. The world is my oyster, apart from oysters as I don't care for them and I'm not sure they're really appropriate for sandwiches anyway.
Alt: lockable rucksack, big fuck-off knife, forehead swastika tattoo
AltAlt: Nobody springs to mind, I hate everyone.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
Check that it's grim outside, the canteen is now my oyster(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:09,
Reply)
Alt. Ear plugs, Bog roll, Electric fence.I will never go to such an event.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
Not really. I don't think I could take the excessive number of annoying cunts who would bound to be there.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
He prefers primary school sport days. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
It seems these are the places you are most likely to attend.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
Yeah... His festival would be INcest, innit.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
Yours would be TESTICals.... wait a sec, the whole word there works, testicals, you know, like bestival.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:23,
Reply)
TUBE STRIKE CANCELLED. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-26130165
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
Are they still going on about that?Silly.
Say it with me...
Silly.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
Beef in red wine sauce. Bleu fillet steak. Yes I would.Alt. Toilet roll. It becomes currency on the second day.
AltAlt my kids,
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Peej, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
How are Lufthansa Arachnid & Ceramic Saucepan?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
It was Nausicaä's 6th birthday on Sunday and Tyvokka is 3 next month.They are both well. I got home yesterday to find my wife had bought a brand new Renault Clio with my money. Is French and Yellow. I can't afford a divorce.
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Peej, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:23,
Reply)
You could afford it if you sold the car to pay the legal fees. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
If the grounds are Unreasonable Behaviour she won't be entitled to half. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:26,
Reply)
Exactly how mental is your missus?Because you make out to be pretty mental.
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Kroney, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
harvest her organssell them to pay off the debt. keep any surplus.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
It's stopped snowing now(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
Here too. Only lasted five minutes.The amount of eyes around the office that light up at the first snowflake , giddy with dreams of getting snowed in and having a day off work. Lazy fuckers.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
Sandwiches. Last meal? Really posh sandwiches.
Alt: drugs, booze, wellies.
Altalt: any one of you, you're all my favourite.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Good. Just narrowly escaped a parking ticket which is nice, But also I'm in Bracknell working in car hire places with the sort of cunts that work in car hire places, so that's a downer.
Otherwise, all going well.
How are you doing?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
Not too bad ta. Ex being a cunt, but that's pretty standard these days. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:35,
Reply)
Is it over the kid? Or just generally being a shit bag? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
Burn her house down. Well, your house. You know what I mean.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
Her parents bought it(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
Oh. Kill her parents then. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
did you kill the parking inspector?Is there no end to your tyranny?
alt. alright?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
Inspector? Don't give them a title that sounds like they actually do something. But no, I just got to the van in time.
Alright jay
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:41,
Reply)
Jobsworth cunt. I hope you spat on him and told him to get a proper job!(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
Actually, he was quite a nice guy, so I thanked him for giving me an extra 10 minutes on what I'd paid. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
Lemongrass Pork Bun and Summer Rolls. And I have to say it is fucking amazing.
My last meal would be rack of lamb/veal chop and dauphinoise potatoes.
I'd give it a go.
Alt: Airbed, sheet, something big to store fresh water, knife & fork, tea cup. Torches.
Altalt: My Mrs, sister, nephews.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:36, Reply)
Dolphin nose potatoes are delicious. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:41,
Reply)
They are one of the finest things you can put in your mouth without being gay. (, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:58, Reply)
So what you're saying is, right, that if you were gay, you'd find a penis a finer thing to put in your mouth than a pork burn / summer rol?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:06,
Reply)
It's a bit gay tho', I mean, you're in their mindset there. I presume.It's just a hop skip and a jump away from, well, you know... the sort of thing they do; which I have no clue of .
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:20,
Reply)
By denying them you are reducing the chance of getting laid by 50% (, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:26, Reply)
Cheese and bacon on toast.Alt. A tin of beans and a bunch of carrots, if it's like the harvest festivals I've been to.
Anyone younger than me who I care about.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
I liked the other thread better.Feros Ferio, Jay, is my family motto.
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Kroney, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:48,
Reply)
In times gone by they weren't exactly known for their sophisticated opinions on fine art.(
Kroney, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:59,
Reply)
More like who would I like to put a bullet in?To which the answer is: everyone.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
fart filtering underwear?this is a thing now?
www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1028635/high-tech-underwear-for-him-this-valentines-day?sk_ref=poptoday
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
There is no doubt about that. The tone of the website is akin listening to stupid 25 y/o bank clerks on the train back to Dartford who, once there, will get a back hander off their builder husband, Del, and then be forced to suck his unwashed cock. WHERE'S YOUR STUPID WEBSITE NOW, EH!
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:04, Reply)
it's the only article on there i've ever seenso i'll take your word for it.
also, like you wouldn't gag for a threesome with said bank clerks.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
no no, it's all about how hot they are, apparentlybrains and everything else are irrelevant.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:30,
Reply)
yesbut I suppose they are entitled to their opinions, however immature.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
There's a whole world of subtext here.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:22,
Reply)
man is revolting and tries ineptly to blame someone else(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:24,
Reply)
You're a vegetarian for fucks sakeI'd be surprised if you do anything else.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:49, Reply)
Lobster with garlic butter dip
Scallops with garlic butter dip
Those huge prawns that are like a baby's arm with garlic butter dip
Monkfish with a garlic butter dip
All on a bed of turkish rice.
//edit
And some teryakki sauce and japanese stuff too
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:28,
Reply)
Like normal rice, but steamed with a hairy back(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:33,
Reply)
It's like normal rice only has little bits of pasta in(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
Yup, exactly(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:51,
Reply)
and a packet of breath mintsin garlic butter dip.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:31,
Reply)
Garlic butter dip is your signature finishing move, right?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:35,
Reply)
I think I would call it something more fancy, don't you?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:39,
Reply)
I once saw "garlic mints" (and "bacon mints" too (and "Tobasco mints" too too)), I think it was at cybercandy or something.It's alright, it's my last meal, i'm not expecting a second date.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:44,
Reply)
Gonz, if this was to be your last ever mealI hope you get the opportunity to go for a dump before they put you in the electric chair - otherwise the results could be quite spectacular.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:31, Reply)
I'd smell like a italian man's armpits, and i'm not talking about the kind who wears designer suites and drives a luxoury yahut(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:45,
Reply)
CCCCCCC BBBBBBB EEEEEEE EEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS EEEEEEEE
C B B E E S E
C B B E E S E
C BBBBBBBB EEEEE EEEEE SSSSSSSS EEEEE
C B B E E S E
C B B E E S E
CCCCCCC BBBBBBB EEEEEEE EEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS EEEEEEEE
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
N N OOOOO
N N N O O
N N N O O
N N N O O
N N OOOOO
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:50,
Reply)
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