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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Clifton suspension bridge has been closed. There are RED wind warnings and we aren't allowed to go home even though the rail companies have started cancelling services. It's a bloomin' outrage.
Alt: If I said YM had a beautiful body would she hold it against me?
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:27, 249 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Was standing waiting for the mrs to go for lunchand some woman left the building. Her umbrella turned inside out three times before she got ten yards.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:29,
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But they're all thick before the age of 30(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:34,
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smoking a lot of dope should help with that(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:36,
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Shh, the men are talking, love.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:37,
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So. New model women. Personally I think you need to chop your bird in every 3 years. You know, keep things fresh.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:29, Reply)
No reason to do that unless they start getting wrinklyor broody, God forbid. As long as nothing's pointing to the floor and they can cook a decent steak.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:31,
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Nah. They start getting all bolshy and comfortable with things.
You need to wheel out the old cuntpunch every now and again.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:33, Reply)
Well that holds true regardless of age.the mrs is trying to tell me my Star Wars poster isn't going up in the sitting room. I'm already warming up my dry slap arm.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:35,
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Anyway, who says that flowers are a viable interior design choiceand yet collectible figurines and pants slung over radiators aren't?
Bloody women. Mad, all of them.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:40,
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I think they call that Due Corse or Mittigating or something like that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:50,
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Having met your bird, I personally think you've done bloody well. She on the other hand...(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:43,
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i don't think you're at much riskgiven that you live halfway up a fucking steep hill nowhere near a river.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:33,
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They don't know that. Tesco are coming at 6. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:34, Reply)
i would say something about having to cook thembut actually you've cooked for me more than I have cooked for you, so.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:46,
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To be fair; he's a good cook, particularly when it comes to large pieces of meat. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:52,
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he did me a lovely saladmuch nicer than the rancid meat and prawns the rest of you scoffed
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:53,
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You don't normally object to gobbling on any old piece of meat...(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:56,
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i draw the line at sucking on fishy little prawns though.... wait for it..........UNLIKE YOUR WIFE.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:58,
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He's also adept at pork on an open fire* awaits some sort of strikethrough *
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:57,
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wasn't there some fanfic about stunned and monty spitroasting you?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:58,
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ape, the little scamp#
Imagine Monty and stunner kneeling under the stars, naked, erect and with battered slowly rotating on their greasy cocks like a suckling pig
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[*]baked ape Welcome to the sex dairy
, Wed 20 Nov, 16:39, 5 Replies)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:15,
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No-one will ever beat thisb3ta.com/talk/6879373
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:20,
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That is superb. A fine example of the Internet at it's best. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:23,
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This is my favourite bit"It's not kosher, Sexface, but you're going to eat it"
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:47,
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"glistening mini-milk"(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:48,
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I do hope he gets bored with this new job soon.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:21,
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What a horrid euphemism.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:17,
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AHEMI hear he is very keen on handling large pieces of meat.
ITHANGU
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:56, Reply)
Tesco? TESCO ? I.....I... ermmm..... Well I suppose the credit crunch has hit us all.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:39,
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But they put green peppers in their 3-packs of peppers ! how can you live with yourself like that?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:49,
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i like the long sweet ones toothey don't seem to come in green, or to be less stupid, my waitrose doesn't sell them in green
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:52,
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They were selling purple ones in the supermarket the other dayWhat is THAT all about?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:54,
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are those the ones that you play chilli roulette with?I've had them salted in tapas bars
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:55,
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That's them. That's how you cook 'em. Fried with lashings of Maldon sea salt.
Mmmmmmarvellous.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:59, Reply)
0o0o0o0o0h, I saw them last month, I picked some up but didnt' end up eating them.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:46,
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As long as they dont collide, you'll be OK(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:02,
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Pah', they pay you too much.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:45,
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There is no such thing as being paid too much. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:47,
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It's OK 'cos Simon and Garfunkel have released a new song to raise funds for flood relief.
"Troubled over Bridgewater."
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:39,
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This is all nonsense, wind isn't red.Alt: I dunno, is she past it at 70, or is she more intelligent and interesting to talk to?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:42,
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Alt: If birds get dirtier as they get olderby 70 she'd be dynamite in the sack.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:44, Reply)
surely it should be men that are dynamite in the sack?a stick that explodes with very little provocation and sometimes by mistake?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:45,
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She'd break you, fatty(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:50,
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you've seen his faceyou wouldn't go near her flaps, knowing what had come out of them
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:55,
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My mum's 59.You've got a well old mum. Sort it out. Prick.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:45,
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She can nip out, take a dump at the base of a treeand then run in and cook my supper.
Game, set, match.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:56,
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Ahem.Your mother is so fat, that I heard - when she sits down, she sits next to EVERYONE! Ahem, ahem!
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:46,
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Had to roll off her twice etc etc.Welcome to the Nineties.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:47,
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b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2207920
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:51,
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That really says more about you than it does my mum, mate.Have a word with yourself, son.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:58,
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Someone needs to have a word with Frog - chubby chasing is so 1990. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:00,
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I hope the bridge survives.You love that bridge.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:50,
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Quite seriouslythe whole building I am in is creaking alarmingly at the moment
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:58, Reply)
clickin dis(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:11,
Reply)
Edit: there is one - www.mycampage.com/spidley
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:59,
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I.T. REIGN VICTORIOUS ONCE AGAINTHERE SHALL BE NO FUN, NOT ON MY WATCH
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:04,
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Comes from long periods without girls.Sporto and I are actually relatively joyful for tech bods.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:07,
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Pity, your mum has got her own pagewww.mycampage.com/showercam
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:05,
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Can't have you missing out, son
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:08,
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Honestly, don't worry about itI know it's never happened before
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:09,
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ArseI've just IT failed and emailed my team instead of my Mrs
Fortunately it was about passports and iPhones
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:05,
Reply)
I e-mailed your Mrs about scat and band practice.
She replied immediately.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:06, Reply)
Her rusty trombone is at level 7(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:07,
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Imagine the embarrassment ifit had been about work.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:08,
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One of our consultants did similar, but to a client instead of his girlfriend.Wanted us to recall the email. Can't be done. Disciplinary and sudden resignation soon followed.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:08,
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I don't know the ins and outs (as it were) as I'm not on terribly good terms with HR, myself.I heard on the grapevine that a picture was involved, it was forwarded to his boss and shitstorms commenced.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:12,
Reply)
Salient lessonDon't use company emails for anything other than company business, kids. It just ain't worth it.
Shortly afterwards we got told to institute a "flesh tone" filter as a matter of priority.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:26,
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When I worked for Amazon we had to add a 'potty mouth' filter so that certain words couldn't be posted in product reviews.This was a great opportunity when it was in development for internal emails to the code monkeys listing all sorts of sweary combinations.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:31,
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haha you had a right laugh there didn't you(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:32,
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European Head of Market Development IIRC.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:36,
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I led a team of about 60 people, opening new product groups & new sites (France, Japan). I was 25. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:53,
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Bigger job elsewhere - at that time you could earn a lot of money if you'd been at Amazon.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:55,
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You realise that I am now imagining youin a classic 70's jungle outfit, leading your team to safety
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:57, Reply)
You can tell the head office is in Uxbridgeas this flesh tone filter sometimes picks up pictures of furniture. Cherry wood, in particular.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:35,
Reply)
One of the IT weenies here let me have a look at the list of excluded words that they use on incoming/outgoing emailsI learnt some new words that day I can tell you.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:48, Reply)
What are they like to work for? One of their subcompanies was up for an interview.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:49,
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The best company I have ever worked for.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:50,
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They are meant to be great as long as you aren't on the pick and pack floor
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:53, Reply)
A mate of mine got taken on in the run up to Xmas, but was assured that they were looking to keep people on permanentlyThe whole lot of them got emptied straight after Xmas.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:03, Reply)
He must've been shit.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:04,
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I would expect so. He's a fuckwit stoner.However I would have expected at least some of them to have been good enough to take on permanently.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:10, Reply)
Volume of sales = number of permanent employees required.So if the sales level isn't growing significantly you don't need many more people.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:12,
Reply)
That would appear to have been precisely the case. It may rebound on them next year though as the stoner fuckwits may be less likely to get off their arses and do a few shifts for them.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:17, Reply)
There are always more stoner fuckwitsIsn't that right, tangles?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:17,
Reply)
Or maybe the stoner fuckwits will have completely forgotten about it by next Crimbo?(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Stoner fuckwits of the world unite!
When you can be bothered to get around to it.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Imma just skin up first yeah(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:25,
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Tough shit. Manual labour on zero hours contracts = he should have worked harder at school.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:05,
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No, silly Rach. HE SHOULD HAVE WORKED HARDER AT SCHOOL. As Batts says up there.
Why u no wrissen?
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Unions on the whole are a good idea. However if you're stupid enough to sign a zero hours contract then you deserve any consequences. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:22,
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+ who also should have worked harder at school. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:27,
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why do people in a union think they deserve more employment rights than the law gives everyone, though?we have much more modern employment laws than we had in the days of the unions and the blackouts.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:42,
Reply)
Sweet, it's a slight sidestep on my skills, but i'll consider it a bit more.Nice offices.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:06,
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I was home at 2.Company wouldn't send me out on the road in all the wind warnings. Lol. You suck. Work cunt.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:05,
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Yeah, paid till 5, paid want done, might go have a pint on company time. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:18,
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^THIS^It makes it taste nicer
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:19,
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My old boss made us stay at work when the riots were on, even though the whole of manc cc had been evacuated.Its just a bit of wind pet.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:11,
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They were pretty bad weren't they the riots up there?It was non lol telly wayching.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:14, Reply)
'Twas ever thus.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:17,
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Both had cuntsBloke with gun gets shot - tough shit. Should have worked harder at school
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:18,
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He didn't riot. You can't blame him.
It was all the underclass ne'er do well wogs that kicked off.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:23, Reply)
Typical coons.Almost as bad as the jews.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:24,
Reply)
It was literally chavs, all of them. Societies degenerates trying to get what they could for free.
The next day there was a public clean up which I thought was nice. People met with brooms and got sweepin'
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:24,
Reply)
Until they were stolen. I bet it's Mancs looting the abandoned flooded houses. The fucking dog end bastards.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:28, Reply)
yeah, especially round Piccadilly. I was walking past people putting shop windows through and running out with 6 packs of quavers and some wham bars.
The air was electric. It was a weird thing to walk through.
Nearest operating bus stop was about a mile out of town
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:17,
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Wham bars are nom thoughQuavers are not
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:19,
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You can't get a bus until you are a mile out of Manchester? I knew it was backward but sheesh.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:24, Reply)
Only when it's being smashed up, Manchester has a wonderful transport service.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:25,
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There is nothing wonderful about Manchester. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:25,
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Where do you hail?Remember I am from Newcastle
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:31,
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South east. Lived in London since I moved back from Hong Kong a few year ago.Got family oop north.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:36,
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HOW FUCKING VERY DARE YOU!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:41,
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Ahm sporran for a fuggin fight(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:43,
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I've said geordies are close to scots.The accent is a stone's throw.
Not yours though, sporters, Mackem is it's own!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:45,
Reply)
Agreed for geet propa jordees leek yknaa?but not an everyday Newcastle dweller
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:46,
Reply)
The accent isnt a fucking stones throwIt is a head south into the former Cumberland and you get an even stronger Geordie accent. For the distance you might as well say that cockernee is basically French
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:47, Reply)
Lahndon, pal. Woolwich. Where Fusilier Lee Rigby had his head partially hacked off by a couple of Muzzer "soldiers".
Funny how you don't see any of those cunts joining the British Army. It's almost as if they are taking the fucking piss out of us.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:36, Reply)
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