Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
I've just eaten a massive portion of various pasta salads and I have a bottle of strawberry milk.Today is ten years since I started seeing my wife. I have made her a card with pipecleaners and glitter glue. It's very cool.
What were you doing ten years ago? No, you weren't doing my wife, I was the only one in the room, you may have been doing my mum though, she was on the other side of the world so I would have no idea.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:34, 220 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I was two days out of school, on study/wank leave for my GCSEs(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:34,
Reply)
Earning about £90k and spending most of it on cocaine. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
Even more obnoxious than I am now, believe it or not.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
Oh I can believe it. Cocaine makes bigger cunts out of even massive cunts.(, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:38, Reply)
I was two years into a ten year career which was to fall apart at the seams and leave me penniless in the end. Haha! If only I knew what would happen.....(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
No, the indigenous people of north america beat me to it.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:44,
Reply)
Bet they didn't colour them in though(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
Not after the white devil came and raped their land of the naturally abundant fluorescent pens (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
I was six months off 30, and temping, having just undergone a horrible employment situation.It's a beautiful day, but still we're not allowed to get naked at our desks where I work.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
I'd not long moved into my old house so was most likely painting or something(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
i was a trainee solicitoras i was in my corporate seat, and had 18 people giving me work, i was working 18 hour days, on one notorious occasion when i was practically gabbling japanese by the end of it, a 48 hour day, and had no idea that the boss i was starting to fancy would turn out to be a violent cokehead who shat the bed...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
Oh wow, so to get up the corporate ladder, you worked really hardand fucked your boss. GO FEMINISM!
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:45, Reply)
pfffffffthe was a lowly associate. and he never did make partner. and i started seeing him after i moved to a different department. and there is no "corporate ladder" for trainees. you qualify or you don't.
but apart from that, yeah.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
Were you in the bed too? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 12:54,
Reply)
Once you'd rolled around in it for 5 mins and massaged it into your tits you got bored, right?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:00,
Reply)
Are you sure it wasn't you that shat the bed in your sleep, And in a sweet way moved you, washed you, rolled on it and took the blame to save you the embarrassment?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
I bet you love remembering swipe near poo don't you? Fucken pervert.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
If he had to be reminded how to shit then his memory mustn't have been all that good(, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:08, Reply)
You want to move somewhere with very low levels of literacy, lower than average wages and a shorter than average life expectancy(, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:47, Reply)
I went home where the weather is lovely the views are spectacular and I'm considered a genius compared to the locals.People at my level get jobs on national pay scales. I earn the same here as I would in most universities.
(
Peej, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:58,
Reply)
Ten years ago would have been about the time I started seeing the ex.That worked out well.
Nothing much else of note happened when I was 23. It was a boring year.
(
Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
I was 16,So I'd have been extremely stoned, playing Magic the Gathering and listening to nu-metal. Either that or skateboarding. Because I was really cool.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 12:53,
Reply)
I dug my old decks out the other day, And thanks to years of cannabis I seem to have forgotten how to play. Which is nice.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
"play" your "decks"You seem to be confusing a device for playing other peoples music with a musical instrument.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:04, Reply)
You seem to be confusing "record decks" with "decks of cards"You fucking spastic, you clearly haven't read the first post.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:06,
Reply)
YEAH, TELL HIM! (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 13:06,
Reply)
Takes any opportunity to elbow in his views on stuff, he's got it all wrong and made himself look a *right* prick.He should apologise really.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
It wasn't MY post silly sausage! What's wrong with you man, you're falling apart!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
I'm sure you haven't forgotten how to play with yourself thoughWhich, as a Magic: The Gathering player, I can only assume was another hobby.
(
Muns, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:09,
Reply)
I had a girlfriend and all. She thought I spent too much time stoned playing cards, and left me. So yeah.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 13:11,
Reply)
Silly cow, what did she know, eh?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:43,
Reply)
I'm sticking with a 9.5, but I respect your opinion in terms of callibration on the SSc(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:10,
Reply)
Deck of cards. Play game.
Whatever.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 13:06,
Reply)
I was equal distance between the births of my third and fourth childrenMarried, mortgaged and taking my first dip in IT waters by teaching myself SQL.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:57,
Reply)
Debbie McGee or Susan Hamilton? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 May 2014, 13:05,
Reply)
I've just found out my decree absolute came through on April Fools Day. Hahaha. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
Maybe that's why she wanted to go to yours last night. To tell you it was all an elaborate practical joke.
(
Muns, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
Ten years ago I was unmarried, with no kids and playing in a well cool band.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
Chip shop lunch!Steak and Mushroom pie/pasty, chips and gravy. I'm stuffed now but a mug of tea is helping it settle.
10 years ago I was working for the Ambulance Service and it was becoming apparent that the major project we were working on was never going to be finished mostly due to a complete lack of any sort of planning.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:27,
Reply)
I'm just had delivery of a KFC\o/
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:32,
Reply)
How lazy do you have to be to get KFC delivered?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
My boss was going to the drive throughIn answer, very
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:48,
Reply)
much like that sentence(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:32,
Reply)
Just because it's cold doesn't make it salad Hth
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:33,
Reply)
oh godthis played out for about 100 posts on gonz's facebook the other day...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:35,
Reply)
I am correct in the matterNow let that he an end to it
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:36,
Reply)
i think pasta may be better cold than hot...(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
it's great hotbut on balance, i think i prefer it cold. it's called a personal preference. i thought you lefties were keen on people being able to express themselves.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:41,
Reply)
There are levels of idiocy that cannot be left to fester(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
cold pasta is fucking deliciousstuff that shit up with some cheese and lots of salad vegetables and a drizzle of dressing... what's not to love?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:47,
Reply)
Ten years ago I was in my second year at uni, living in a filthy party house and generally being rock and roll(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:34,
Reply)
indoor farmers market here todayi have some CB stilton and a rosemary and nigella seed roll and a spinach and ricotta thing
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:35,
Reply)
What can farmers even grow indoors? Mushrooms, rubarb...weed?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:37,
Reply)
they can sell a lotthis cheese is fucking amazing.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:39,
Reply)
The spinach and ricotta thing is surprisingly easy to make(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
DOING MASSIVE DRUGSROCKING, RAVING AND MISBEHAVING
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
+ BUMMING AND BEING BUMMED(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:43,
Reply)
Most of us had grown up a bit more than that by the time we were 30(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:43,
Reply)
Ooh, I remember it well, I was sitting around in my pants(
broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:44,
Reply)
Isn't that also what you are doing right now?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:45,
Reply)
I ent had me a KFC for ages*burp*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:50,
Reply)
Getting properly mashed every weekend and living the high life.I kicked ass back then.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:51,
Reply)
That'll explain why it fell off(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:52,
Reply)
Roast beef, mustard, rocket, gorgonzola pannini. Gonna be honest, it's pretty fucking lush.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 16 May 2014, 13:52,
Reply)
The liquid that trickled out of the industrial compressor, when they realised the sofa in your mum's dilapidated flat isn't worth saving, just like the rest of her shit.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:00,
Reply)
i thought it was quite lyrical, myselfit has a certain.... pynchonesque glory about it
oh lolololol, check out the dictionary definition of pynchonesque. it might as well have a pic of dozer and have done with it:
Densely convoluted, verbose and full of allusion
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:04,
Reply)
You seem a bit upset today? Why are you so upset?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:14,
Reply)
on second thoughts, maybe just(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:06,
Reply)
I, too, sometimes find Your Mum jokes hard to understand; it's not like they've even meet my mum, so how would they know?Talk it through with your mentor, maybe she'll help.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:09,
Reply)
"I just don't understand, she couldn't have sat next to everybody, she isn't even that fat. She sat next too a few people on her table, maybe that's what he meant? I just don't get it."(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:19,
Reply)
Oddly enough, I was probably getting divorced.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 14:07,
Reply)
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:09,
Reply)
Are we meeting for drinks when you're finished then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:13,
Reply)
Don't we all need a bit of Nakers?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
It's ok, Nakers!Turns out it wasn't a job I applied for, they were coming to me. Totes a relief, though the "er, so which job was this one? I applied to a few" "um...you didn't, we approached you" conversation was a bit awkward.
(
Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:18,
Reply)
What were they offering IT drone work or something else?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:20,
Reply)
Mostly IT dronebut it's with some meeja company, so there'll be all cool software to learn. Plus it's more hands on, so I'll be doing more crimping and terminating, which is much more up my street than holding the hand of some mental cripple whilst they try to grasp how to copy/paste
(
Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:22,
Reply)
Met a contractor last night who used to contract herehe's now working for a company in Oxford Street that are something to do with Music royalties.
He's changing a field on hundreds of forms from 9 characters long to 11 characters long. He begged us to kill him.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
It's a Grade-II listed building, y'know(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:18,
Reply)
NonononoIt's an architectural high point of the brutalist movement
(
Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
We embraced brutalism in a big way after the Germans taught us that Medieval architecture was easily knocked down.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
They left it in comparatively good condition.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:30,
Reply)
Still married. Miserable. Kids would have been quite young and more than likely solely responsible for me not murdering the Mrs Fister of the time.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:11, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »