It's Friday!
Get your Crunchies inside!

Please note only one Crunchie per B3tan

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:10, 323 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I can't eat
Crunchies :(

Never mind, it's rugby and bashage tomorrow, yippee!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)

Morning
*take crunchie*

I'm feeling rather hungover this morning and the implications of the news I received at the hospital yesterday is starting to set in - Got to go T total for 6 months...yikes!

Hope you're all having better days.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)

are there
any /talkers in here? its almost as bad as the great Swansea v Cardiff rucus on the league two 606 board circa 2003.
lalalalala

hello everyone, im on call this weekend, and so broke im taking my bags of 1,2,5 & 10p (£30 in total) to the bank to buty alcohol later!
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:14, Reply)

morning
late arrivals today...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:15, Reply)

@Halfy
You buy you're alcohol at the bank? Where can I sign up for that kind of customer service?!

/envies
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:16, Reply)

I love crunchies!
1. My 7 year old nephew is mixed race. He said he wanted to grow his hair and get padlocks in.

2. I need a good spang. Why! I shall tell you. This morning I got into the car which was parked on a hill facing up. I started the car and went into gear and rolled backwards. For some stupid reason I had gone into reverse. Not only once but several times and couldn't work out why my car wasn't going forwards. I knew I was going into reverse gear but it didn't compute that I needed first gear. I was about to call my dad to tell him my gears were broken when I suddenly realised what the fuck I was doing. Not only that but I had another car right behind me that I nearly bumped into. Now I'm a women of fairly good intellect and I had had lots of sleep so why the feck was I being so stoooopid.

Answers on a postcard please.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:16, Reply)

Morning all!
*takes a crunchie and inspects it*

Err, what's this?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:16, Reply)

I'll eat your Crunchie then himjim *nom nom*
Aw Captain V nothing too serious I hope?

Halfy I am so broke I have already cashed in my coppers!

Going to my mates for dinner tonight though so that saves some cash! Although it's in Stratford and I always get lost :(

Edit: Hey Vipros, BGB and Lab it's honeycomb goodness :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)

hahaha
yeah! I think Tesco would be annoyed if I attempted to pay for a crate of beer entirely in 5p pieces.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)

@TGB
Nah it's not too bad. Was given a formal diagnosis of cyclothymia yesterday and told that they want to monitor me for at least 2 years to make sure that I don't have (or develop) full blown bipolar. Was also told to stop drinking for 6 months for various reasons most importantly (imo) their concern that I may become dependant later in life.

Even though I was expecting the above it's still a bit of a shock to the system to actually hear it all. I shall say no more on the matter as I don't want to drag OT into my gloom. We need happy things like flowers, kittens and food!

@BGB

*spangs* That put a massive smile on my face. Just about managed to stifle my laughter.

:edit: @Halfy So you're not buying your beer at the bank then? There really should be more banks selling beer...
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:23, Reply)

Capn V
A while ago I went to the bank, and asked them to check how many direct debits I had setup, so we went through the list Loan, car insurance, phone etc etc. I cancelled my subscription to Bizarre after they published the same story for the 3rd time (have issues 8 to 130odd) and asked the woman to check how long until my Loan has cleared.

Oooh no, can't do that, but I can tell you how many monthly payments you have made?

which was cool, only 3 months of loan to go hurrah!

Went to the bank the next month the day after payday and I had £300 more than I should, checking further I had paid, and then been creditted £300 from loan company, hmm not good.

Went to the branch and it turns out the dozy woman I was talking to the previous month had cancelled ALL of my direct debits! mass frantic scrabbling an entire lunch hour spent in the bank and phone calls made to various companies to ensure my credit rating doesn't get fucked over and all my bills paid and its all sorted.

The Bank sent me 4 bottles of rather nice wine as an apology, so you can get booze from a bank!

cor sorry bit of a long reply there.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:31, Reply)

Online Banking FTW!
My bank people are lovely but there is something quite satisfying about organising standing orders in your pyjamas.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:41, Reply)

tgb
im a luddite, and take delight in handing over cold hard cash for goods, I still use cheques!!
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:43, Reply)

Morning all
Free crunchies? Why thank you, thank you very much.

TGB in pyjamas Beer from bank would be good.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:43, Reply)

*leaps through window*
Da-DAAA-Da-Da-Da-Daaaa!

*munches crunchie*

*Excites*

*Can't hide*

*Loses control, thinks likes*

Morning everyone! It's Friday, and I have just lugged bags full of stuff across London in preperation for a weekend away to a rockin' 80th Birthday Party.

Tonight: Drinks
Tomorrow: Clay Shooting followed by a formal dinner. (Black tie FTW!)
Sunday: Family buffet

Actually, it sounds like fun!

EDIT: Plastic and online banking FTW!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Morning DiT
Screw black tie, playing with shotguns FTW!!

I knew from the first line of your reply that it was you :)

So predictable.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:46, Reply)

Thanks PoD :p
DiT shooting stuff is always fun!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:49, Reply)

online banking is best
but I've been with my bank so long that they upgraded my account (not to one you have to pay for) which means I get better service. quite convenient.

also, one of my friends was until recently an area manager for my bank. that was very handy indeed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:51, Reply)

Hmm, crunchie
I'll take mine now, and save it for after lunch thangyewverymuch.

I've got a cornish pasty for mid morning if needs be, then a sweet chilli chicken stir fry for lunch, made it last night!

Woo!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:56, Reply)

I'm quite lucky in the fact that the only DD I have is my rent
which I organised to come out the day after I get paid, so it's hardly likely to bounce :D

Glad to see everyone is in such good spirits this morning, I'm just about to get my first coffee and I'm rockin' out to the SFA.

Yeah.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Predictable, eh?
*cries*

My bank keep going on and on at me about updrading to their 'Plus' service, which costs £12.99 a month.

"You get wordlwide travel insurance!" they cry. I am going abroad this year for the first time in seven years. I'll cope without.

"You get an interest free overdraft!" They beg. I don't have an overdraft. Haven't had one for two years. Because they wouldn't let me have one!

"You get preferential mortgage deals!" They plead. Yes, well, if I had a £40k deposit sitting in my bank, I'd think about it. But as you changed the terms of your graduate account and no longer offer 100% mortgages to graduates I can't really fucking go down that road right now, can I?

EDIT: So no, I don't want your cocking 'Plus' service. Cunts.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 9:57, Reply)

DiT are you getting some form of travel insurance though?
I'd recommend getting some anyway.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Ahh Crunchies!
I blame my minion for not making me tea, thus leading to a slow brain.

TGB: You're coming to Stratford? Poor you!

Ah good, minion is now making me a cup of tea.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:04, Reply)

^Yep
I'd be stupid not to.

What I meant was 'I'll go without paying you £12.99 a month for a year when I'll barely use it.'

Sort of fing.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Well Lab
the offer of a free home cooked meal was too much to refuse!

DiT what is this "fing" you speak of?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

@TGB
I think it may be a very special kind of fig. Not sure though.

:edit: Rofl. Just found out about figging...
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)

Ahh ok
Just checking.

When I was on my season a girl from Mark Warner had an accident off piste and her parents had to shell out an astronomical amount of money to the rescue service/hospital, all because she couldn't be bothered to fork out 14 quid a month or whatever the minimal cost was.

Idiots.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Home cooked food...
... is why I visit my parents every week or so! Oh, I mean, I like to make sure they're ok, it's not because my Dad is an amazing cook. Nuh-uh.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)

I meant 'thing'.
I was being post modern.*






*Stupid
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)

BGB
I love that padlocks story! How cute!

Al told me dreadlocks smell, and Al is all-knowing, so maybe he shouldn't.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:13, Reply)

Ahh Premier Super Plus Platinum Accounts
'As you're such a good customer'

'Free travel insurance!' Got it with Amex, ta.

'Unlimited charge card' You've met my wife?

'Preferential mortgage rates!' You were ass-whupped on rate last time. And would only take my basic salary into account.

'Umm'

There really isn't any reason for me to do this, is there?

'Umm, no'

And you refused me a 3 day overdraft when payroll cocked up last year.

'Oh'
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:13, Reply)

I'll pass on the crunchie, thanks.
I'm saving myself for having yummy thai food at lunchtime, in honour of my birthday (woo!) and a colleague's departure (boo).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:14, Reply)

Happy birthday Bob!
I'm surprised my bank haven't suggested I pay them for service.

they just decided that they want to treat me better than they had before
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:17, Reply)

Happy Birthday Empress Bob!
Now I'm craving Thai food...

Clendrix: Dreadlocks only smell if you don't look after them. I had them for a couple of years, and I washed them every week or two. Oh, and Febreeze helps when you come back from a club (pre-smoking ban era).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)

@DiT
I just signed up for a new wank account. They were desperately trying to get me to go for the all-singing, all-dancing super current gold plus account, for 12.95 a month; I eventually got it through to them that there was really no point in that, so they cocked up my account and forgot to do the "transfer all standing orders" thing they're meant to. Fuckmonkeys.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

Happy Birthday, Your Empressness!
I bring from the State of Deviltania a pile of jewels as big as an Elephants Head!

*presents*

EDIT: see? There's another reason not so sign up!

Anyway, have a great day, I forgot to say that before!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Happy birthday Bob
My friend has massively long dreadlocks (down to his waist) can't say I have ever noticed them smelling but I don't really make a point to smell his hair...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Happy Birthday your Empress
A friend of mine had dreadlocks for a long time, probably a couple of years. When she got rid of them she had to shave her head. It looked weird.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Dreads
When I had mine cut off, we managed to save about an inch of my hair by using Loreal Detangler for Kids!

In fact, if you visit my profile and click on my pic, you'll go to my photobucket site where there are still pics of me with dreads, and the dread-cutting procedure (in shitty mobile phone quality).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:31, Reply)

YAY!
For Free Crunchies!

Can I have a spare one that no one else wants for the poor orphan boy outside our office???
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:33, Reply)

@Labs
I love that you sprayed Fabreeze on them!
Smooth.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)

I reaaaaaaaaaaly want dreads.
My boss said I'm not allowed them though.
I miss my braids :(
I feel boring without
blue/purple/pink/black/red hair.

*has a little boring cry*

Also...Morning everyone and Happy birthday Bob :D
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)

*noses at pictures*
Did you keep the dreads afterwards :p Did they carry on growing!? 0_o

I like the Aztec-y tattoo :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)

G'day all
Late in today. Car troubles.

This morning I saw a rather attractive girl walking by. Short black hair, neat figure, nice in a girl-next-door sort of way. But one thing struck me.

She was wearing white trousers. And she was either wearing black pants, or no pants... :)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:44, Reply)

Poor Lust!
I had to cut my dreads off for my job 3.5 years ago, but have had a mohican for the last 18 months, so I don't mind ;)

The two years in between I had boring public-school-boy hair, which sucked, so I feel your pain! Not knowing what your hair's like, or what you can get away with, I can't really make any suggestions.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:45, Reply)

@k2K
No pants?

Mornign Wander!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:46, Reply)

TGB
Yes, I kept the dreads, they're in a ziplock bag somewhere in my hoards of 'stuff'. Sadly they haven't developed a sentience yet.

I hope to add more to that tattoo, to end up with a full sleeve, but I have to save up to travel to Liege as that's where the artist is based (www.calypsotattoo.com).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Morning All!
I had to do some driving this morning, so just got to my desk.

*drinks tea*
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:49, Reply)

Possibly no pants
I was in the car, so couldn't really turn around easily to watch the rear view!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:49, Reply)

It Becomes clear!
I thought you saw her from the back!

Makes sense now...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:50, Reply)

@labia
Just imagine boring dark curly hair. That's what I have now.
Sometimes I look a little bit like a dark Dee Snider with more make up.

I would post pictures of me with/without braids but I wouldn't want to scare teh interwebs!
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Wow I love his dotwork
I want more tattoos now :( Take me with you when you next go!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)

Oh Lusty, for heaven's sake!
You don't look like Dee Snider!

You're gorgeous. Dee is not.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)

Lust
What length hair? Are we talking mega, corkscrew curly? Sounds to me that it's far from boring hair, although that's unlikely to change your mind, especially as you've have had braids in the past.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)

fuckfuckfuck
got to work to find a furious email from a client - the first fuck-up of my career (legally very insignificant, client relationship potentially disastrous). very very depressing start to my weekend....... help!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)

TGB
Oh Yes, Dan DiMattia is an amazing artist! I'd been wanting a piece by him for a couple of years, and had spoken to him via email before. I was in the process of saving up to go over there, when he emailed me to say that he was coming over to Wales for Tattoo Jam in August, and would I like an appointment!

Needless to say, I snapped up the chance, and am very very proud of the result!

Tattoos are addictive, i want more...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:57, Reply)

Rachelswipe
Shit! Sorry to hear that :( Let us know if we can help at all, I'm sure there are a wide range of skills available that b3tans are happy to put at your disposal!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)

Including assasination and massage
if that helps.

Edit: Not at the same time.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:00, Reply)

Massagination?
It is an intriguing concept.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Labia
that stuff does look good. more to my tastes than a lot of stuff you see around. I'm all about geometric stuff.

I intend to get one at some point....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Rach send the client a pic of you looking sad
I'm sure they will forgive you! And say if they don't they will get lynched by a b3tamob.

Lab that's awesome. And yeah, so very addicting. I'd quite like something on my foot/ankle. Maybe as my birthday present to myself next year :p

Edit: Massagination hahaha
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)

assassination
of me would be the best thing at this stage, thanks guys.

i am too depressed even to snigger at the fact that the tenant's surname is gayer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Aw no don't say that
If they can't accept small human error every now and again they shouldn't be a business.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:05, Reply)

I'm not
hehe, gayer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Did I hear mention of
"Assassination"?

*grabs screwdriver*

*smiles*

Also, my Question Of The Day is up, go to the main OT page.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:07, Reply)

This may provoke a smile rswipe.
I was woken this morning by the cat biting my nipple.

Granted he wanted feeding but in my hungover state I just rolled over and caught another couple of hours.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)

*sniggers as well*
I dunno Rach, maybe you could hire lusty to jiggle at him :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Grr.
I have made the mistake of reading the discussion forum on The Sun website.

Kaol, I'm going to need you, several hundred very sharp implements, an address database, a metric fucktonne of lime and a digger.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)

@DiT
Would you like some of my explosive cocktail to assist your endeavours?

(see Kaol's QOTD)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)

Vipros
I agree, I'm more into geometric, polynesian and black/grey oriental work. I'm not a huge fan of vivid colours, or the new-wave stuff (Why would you want a tattoo of a doll eating donuts?!).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:13, Reply)

Morning folks
Free crunchies, eh? My mum loved crunchies. It's a trait she didn't actually pass on to me though - I fuckin' hate them.

*Sighs*

Good bash on Wednesday night - cheers al, and lovely to see you all again / for the first time. I got home at 10pm last night. Thank god I'm *ahem* working from home today - I got a lie in this morning.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:15, Reply)

Yay, thanks all!
Actual birthday is tomorrow, but work lunch happens today (obviously).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:15, Reply)

DiT
Consider my services hired!
Although for cost efficiency I'd recommend a caravan, some cling-film and a diesel engine.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:16, Reply)

Or indeed a massive Pink Panther tattoo
Wearing a top hat.I have also seen various other disney tattoos that make me want to vomit.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:16, Reply)

^There is a certain B3tan
Who has a pink panther on her arse.


Me, I'm getting a polynesian mask done on my leg, but can't find an artist I like. Any recommendations in the London area?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:18, Reply)

D-i-T
I wonder to whom you may be referring..?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:19, Reply)

^Haha
I think RWH immortalised it in photgraphic form too!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:23, Reply)

It was good to meet you too, DG.
Tightly, a cute guy called Greg did mine, but you'd have to trek all the way to Crouch End.

I refused to go to Camden because I hate it there.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:24, Reply)

^Yup
It's on the interweb for all eternity...

He was a gent though and asked her if she minded first. And gave her a 48 hour cooling off period.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

DiT
Sorry, I don't know many tattoo studios in London (apart from Into You), but if you check out Skin Deep magazine (or their forums) I'm sure you'll be able to find a decent studio.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

I'm considering
going hell-for-leather and getting one done while I'm in Las Vegas next month...

But then the pool would be out of bounds...

Gah! Why did the guy who did my last tattoo have to leave the shop? GIT!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:27, Reply)

DG
I know Tourettes has that on her ass, and I am going to say I really don't like tattoos like that, because I don't! However I do like the mooning the pink panther angle....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:28, Reply)

DiT
Couldn't you ask the shop where he's gone to?
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)

I did...
He left the country. :( He lives in Thailand now...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)

DiT
Get in it Vegas! How cool is that? And if you leave it towards the end of your trip, it won't matter so much about the pool - just gotta get it home without too much trauma, that's all.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)

The pink panther thing only popped into my head
as the first example as yesterday in town I saw a woman with THREE pink panther tattoos on her arms/shoulder. Three I tell ye!! And they didn't even look like him except that they were pink.

I think she also had some kind of minnie mouse on her boob but I didn't like to look...

My tattooist in is Birmingham, I will cry if he leaves :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:32, Reply)

Oh...
DiT, get this on your lower back, above your arse...
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:37, Reply)

Oh, yes!
I'd be a classy bloke and no mistake!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Worst tattoos
The worst I saw, was a 'woman' with a tattoo of Bart Simpson wanking a ludicrously large penis.

Shame that if/when the addition of cartoon images to the clarification of indecent images of children goes ahead, her arm would be considered illegal pornography. I'd happily dispose of it for her, we have an awesome shredder!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:40, Reply)

@Lab what!? Why??
I think Dave Gorman's driving licence tattoo is pretty bad too, well funny because it's not my tattoo :p

I have also seen on the arm of a chav

Jenny Forever
Sarah

Yup just crossed out and the new name written underneath.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:46, Reply)

On Bad Tattoos
There was a guy that came in the pub that I used to work in who had a pierced belly button.

He'd had a tatto of an open zip rising from the navel, and a further tattoo of Roger Rabbit danglind one-handed just below the navel, giving the impression that the hoop in the navel was the zipper and Roger Rabbit was hanging off it, thus opening the zip.

Sadly, it had been done by what appeared to be an Ape with ADD and arthritis. Also, if you're going to have a picture of an undone zip tattood on your belly, then you should at least have the good grace to have some guts drawn in too.

My ex had a spider tattood on her left boob. She was a classy girl.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:49, Reply)

If you're gonna get a tattoo
Why not do the awesome thing, like Steveo of Jackass fame, and get your face tattooed on your back?

www.vanishingtattoo.com/images/tattooed3x/steveo_rocks1x4.jpg
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:50, Reply)

The worst tattoo I have ever seen is also the best.
A friend of a friend kind of thing went to his usual tattooist and asked him what he should get.
He now has Pat Sharpe written across his knuckles on one hand and Billie Piper on the other.
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:51, Reply)

I've done some tattoo
Designs for people I know, it's cool to draw something, and then see it as a real thing, on them, a few weeks later.

*opens can of Sunmagic*
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:52, Reply)

Roger Rabbit? Why?!
I have also seen a guy with the words "Lucky Dip" around his navel and a big arrow pointing down his trousers.

His wife/girlfriend had some writing on her lower back that honestly looked like "Bitch".
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:54, Reply)

@TGB
Now that's class! God, Googling for 'Worst Tattoo' has come up with some shockers!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:54, Reply)

@labia
I did that yesterday. I then googled amazing tattoos and some of the same images came up. All down to personal taste I guess...
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)

hahaha
Mr Cool Ice and the tattoo'd sunglasses are brilliantly awful!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:00, Reply)

Somewhat related comic
Courtesy of Mitch Clem:

www.mitchclem.com/mystupidlife/graphics/strips/20080213.gif
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:01, Reply)

*cries*
I thought I was Mr. Ice Cool :(
Bastard stole my name.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:01, Reply)

However...
We have a family friend who is 'rather'. Rather well-to-do, rather rich, just ra-ther.

He's about 55, lives in a big house in the country, drives a Bentley, the whole shebang.

And he has the best tattoo I've ever seen.

It runs from his shoulders and covers the width and length of his back. It is a countryside scene - trees, fields, hedges, sky. The hunt (dogs and horses) are coursing over the fields. It is beautiful. An artwork. But the best bit? Disappearing down in to his arse-cleave is the bushy red tail of a fox. Genius.

I have another friend who comes a close second. He has a dragon tattoo - the snout of which rests on his neck. The body of the dragon extends down his back while the wings wrap around his chest and stomach. The tail wraps around his left leg, all the way to his ankle.

He had it done in Japan, in the traditional manner. That is to say, scratched in to his skin with bamboo. It took sixteen hours. And was done in one sitting, with the help of sake. That's hardcore.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Wow...
DiT, the second one sounds amazing!
A bit "Red Dragon" maybe, in a fantastic way!
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:08, Reply)

DiT
Jesus, that is hardcore!

At Tattoo Jam I saw some people using traditional tapping methods, as well as a Japanese Hori tattooist, using the bamboo method. Wonderful to watch them work, must hurt like hell though!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:08, Reply)

@DiT
Those both sound amazing. I want a tattoo now.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)

I'll do one for you
Capt'n V!
Sound good?
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)

I'm not sure I actually want a tattoo
Not sure it's really having something so permanent etched onto me would sit well with my changeable interests/likes/dislikes too well.

I like the idea of having one though.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)

Hmmm
I'll carve the "infinity" symbol into your scapula with a pastry fork?
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)

Talking of pastry forks
I do love pie and pi. Perhaps pi instead of infinity.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:26, Reply)

Ok, pi it is!
I need a bottle of vodka, a fork and a permanent marker pen.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:29, Reply)

Afternoon peeps
I've got the tattoo bug again after getting my 5th one the other week. There was a gap of 6 years since the last one.

Like DiT, I quite like the idea of polynesian masks.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)

STOP!
V, I doubt very much that letting Kaol near your skin is a very good idea at all.

/worries
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:31, Reply)

@Clendrix
I'm not sure letting him near any part of me is a good idea especially after being completely oblivious to him playing with his cock knife a few inches away from my knee at the bash.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Ah V, good to see you're aware.
These are dangerous times.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:34, Reply)

It's ok
Like with vampires, you're safe unless you invite me into your house.

Or attack me with garlic.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:35, Reply)

Afternoon all!
Ooooh, tattoo talk.
I love tattoos and piercings, I'm going to get one on my foot with my first paypacket if I get a job.
How is everyone today?
Are there any crunchies left TGB?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:35, Reply)

Hey Lucy
There are indeed Crunchies left!

And I want one on my foot, need to start designing something really!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Kaol
Safe unless we invite you into our houses?





Oh shit.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

*smiles sweetly*
I wouldn't hurt a fly.

Actually, that's not true, I had to kill a metric fuck-tonne of animals for my degree, in the name of science.

But OT-b3tans? Salt of the earth, you people.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)

*noms crunchie*
What do you want on your foot? I want an Art Nouveau flower, I have the perfect idea in my head but am yet to find a picture of it.
THEN I want a traditional style swallow on my side and something on my ribs.
Decisions decisions!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)

I've been thinking for a long time
About getting something done.

I like the idea of an Ouroboros, but I'd want to draw it myself.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:47, Reply)

Like Red Dwarf?
"Our Rob or Ros"
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:50, Reply)

Aside from finishing my sleeve
I'd like a black and grey traditional oriental dragon. I'd also like to extend my left calf tattoo down to my foot, but I haven't quite got anything in mind.

I can't draw to save my life, so i can't get what I picture in my head onto paper :/
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)

Yeah, like that!
The snake eating it's own tail.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)

Hehe
I knew what you meant.

I'd also kinda like a Thor's Hammer. I did have plans to have a scene of Thor fishing for the Midgard Serpent, but that got shelved somehow...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:55, Reply)

My favourite ever
I saw a guy with the penguin books logo on the inside of his upper arm.

If I ever have the cash, I want 1980 in roman numerals on my stomach, the one on my spine extended to a packpiece, both sleeves done.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)

@LM
That's my problem too! For my existing tattoo I described what I wanted to a friend of mine and he drew it perfectly, I was really lucky, I love it.
But with the Art Nouveau one, as it's such a specific style, I want it to be perfect.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)

Hmm
just some kind of dotwork stuff like on Labs link www.calypsotattoo.com/ because it has a softer appearance. Probably something.. oh no I've forgotton the word! The shape that is made up of lots of smaller versions of it.. slightly leaf looking.. think it begins with F...

Damn you brain!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:00, Reply)

@TGB
Fractal?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:01, Reply)

lovely
I go on bmezine.co.uk and browse the photos for inspiration for tattoos. It's also got artists portfolios so you can search for someone in your area.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Thank you BK!
Have another crunchie :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:04, Reply)

Afternoon folks
One tattoo I'm thinking of getting would be this.
I'd get it on my left arm just below my shoulder.

EDIT: Yay! Crunchies.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:05, Reply)

@ TGB
Thanks, I'll save it for after my lasagne!

*noms lasagne*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:08, Reply)

@ spakka
Uber-geeky, but strangely cool at the same time.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:17, Reply)

Afternoon all!
I'm off to the OXO towe for lunch. How posh!

See you soon!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:18, Reply)

Hello everybody!
I demand more than one crunchie.

Please.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)

Bert is back
Wooooooooooooooooo!

Haven't seen you in ages. Where ya been!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Is Al around today?
Can this possibly be the reunion of AlBertKaol?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:25, Reply)

Hiya Spakkaman!
I been lost my job, so stuck at home and up in Scotland visiting some recently bereaved relatives.

Stay away from motorbikes kids, seriously.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)

*spangs bert*
while I would like a tattoo, my main reason for not getting one (it'd be on a shoulder or my chest) is that my bro would see it and tell my parents who would be disapproving.

sad and annoying I know, because I'm 27 and he's 33, but I can't be bothered to deal with that.

I've even decided what I'd have and everything...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)

Just before I go...
FUCKING HELL! Alright Bert? Where've you been?

*prostates self*

EDIT: Shit. Sorry to hear that matey. :( welcome back to the fold, anyway.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)

Bert!
*cuddles*
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:27, Reply)

Hey Bert
Sorry to hear about the bereavement.
And the job!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:27, Reply)

Hi Vipros, hi DiT!
V, get that tattoo, you know you want to, and it feels SO good.

Go on, do it for Mummy.

EDIT wanderlust! How's my favourite purveyor of cock-cakes?

BK Yep, it was quite the double-whammy, my ex-employers are CUNTZ.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:28, Reply)

Bert!
I'm sorry to hear about the job and loss.
*cuddles*
However it's great to have you back!
We've all missed you, plenty of people have been asking where you've been!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:28, Reply)

I haven't baked anything with cocks on for ages.
Coooor I could do with a nice bit of cock cake about now.
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:32, Reply)

@Lucy
Ahhh... that's sweet, thank you.

I've missed you all, you herpes-infected rabble of cock-gizzards you.

:D

EDIT @lusty cakes /obvious
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Hey Bert
Sorry to hear about the job/bereavement

Have 5 crunchies :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:33, Reply)

can I suggest a group hug?
no?

ok
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Lusty
Cock and cake? Or the two combined?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:35, Reply)

@Badger
Cor! 5 Crunchies, my teeths are going to be rotten to the core by the end of the day, I'm already eating a chocolate cake meant for 15 people.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:36, Reply)

@Lusty
I'd have thought that your talents in the jiggling field would get you all of the cock/cake you can eat!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:36, Reply)

Hmm I fear group hugs
in B3taland would be very gropey affairs
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:37, Reply)

TGB
I for one, would definitely be trying to get a sneaky handful from someone!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:38, Reply)

Hugs are for gays and hippies.
I don't mind internet hugs though, as long as NOBODY touches me.

EDIT @Lucy Me, by any chance? *crosses fingers*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)

@K2k6
I wish.
No one wants to feed me cakes.
*cries*
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)

Lasagna time tonight
So off to buy bits. And maybe a wind-up MP3 player because I am a child.

Bert- we can form the B3ta "My Previous Employers Are Spunkstains on the Bedsheet of Humanity" club.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)

it'd be good-natured groping though
with everyone getting a piece of the action

I'm all for it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)

Oh dear, 'lusty
*hands wanderlust cake*

*hopes for jiggle in return*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:41, Reply)

*noms*
Thank you K2k6.

*jiggles*
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:42, Reply)

I'm a happy man now
after that jiggle.

I'm in a good mood for playing with an electron microscope for a bit.

*goes off into real world for a while*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)

*makes toad in the hole*
*eats half*

*hands half to lusty*
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)

Oh Captain V!
You do know how to please a girl!
*grins*
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:46, Reply)

Talking of pleasing a girl
I thought I was past the age of attracting girls that feel the need to give lovebites -_-
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:47, Reply)

Who's been
giving you love bites?
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:48, Reply)

Toad in the hole
is a wonderful wonderful food.
I love sausages. mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Lovebites? Who has lovebites? Did I miss something?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:48, Reply)

I don't believe we've met, young Captain V
but surely, you're not complaining about the love bites?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:49, Reply)

Maybe she was hungry Captain
Why didn't you give her toad in the hole?

I have the Todd in my head now saying "I'd like to put my toad in her hole" *hi-fives*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:51, Reply)

*wanders back in*
Bert! Sorry to hear you've been away for crap reasons; glad you're back.

Lusty, are you baking at the next bash? I was thinking perhaps it's my turn to make an effort...
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:52, Reply)

love bites are shit
I'm pleased to say I've never had one or given one

edit:
*hi-fives TGB*

*clicks fingers*

alright!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:52, Reply)

TGB
*hi-fives*
The Todd is ace.

I've realised that every single day that I'm on b3ta, somebody mentions a food stuff that makes me go mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I must come across as completely food obsessed.

(I did buy 10 packs of chewits today though. Multipacks were going cheap so I bought 2)
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:52, Reply)

@Bert
You're right, we haven't. *holds out hand for hand shaking capers*

I'm not complaining about being in a situation in which one might receive a love bite. I don't mind the act of receiving one but I dislike having such a mark on display. I avoided actually getting love bitten but only because I wasn't completely wankered.

@LVP Toad in the hole is the food of the gods themselves. Going to make one for my sister over the weekend.

@lust A friend of mine that I hadn't seen for a while who took it upon herself to get me pissed.

@TGB That comment made me chortle. I didn't give her any toad in the hole because it wasn't really convenient for either of us and I only had 4 hours before I had to be awake again.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:53, Reply)

@clendrix
I hadn't thought about it yet.
Our oven's broken at the moment so not sure I could even if I wanted to! What were you thinking?

Edit: On the whole love bite thing. I really don't like them, but that's more because I don't want my mummy to see them and think I'm anything but innocent.
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:54, Reply)

*shakes hands with Captain V*

*sucks neck*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:56, Reply)

Lusty
Something savoury? I'm going to try out a new cheese biscuit recipe later, so if that works, I could bring some of them...

I just don't want to step on the toes of our Bash Chef Extraordinaire!
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:57, Reply)

*flails*
Help me somebody!

:edit: @lusty You've got to admit it feels nice when you're receiving though surely?
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:57, Reply)

you're beyond help Captain V
just sit back and enjoy it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:58, Reply)

@clendrix
They sound lovely. Cheese is always a winner! Bring them and I will love you forever.

Edit: @Captain V. I shall say nothing. *innocents*
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:58, Reply)

The flailing only turns me on more, Cappy
I usually rape seals.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Inconvienient toad in the holeing
haha

Brilliant
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:00, Reply)

@TGB
I think that's now my favourite euphemism.

:edit: @lust Well I hope you say something when I eventually give you some of my toad in the hole *sniggers*
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:01, Reply)

.
All thit talk about previous employers being spunkstains makes me wonder what my new employers will be like.

@Bert:
Sorry to hear about the job and the relatives. Both at the same time is a bit of a bummer.

@wanderlust:
Speaking of cock-cake, I've made a virtual gingerbread man but used lots of icing. I call it a co-ckca-ke. Here, have one.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)

Where are
althegeordie
Kaol
CHCB
beckyjsbx
Madam Marlboro
Enzyme
and all that lot?

I NEED them.

EDIT @spakkaman I hope your new employers aren't spunkstains, I left my job of 5 years to go to that shitty little IT company, and within a week I knew that they didn't need me. The fuckwits.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)

*huffs* we not good enough for you Bert?
Kaol should be back from lunch soon I'd imagine?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:08, Reply)

Afternoon guys
How are we all today?

One of the guys in work just gave me a Berocca to take and it's turn my pee illumious green. Apparently this is normal but it's bloody freaky.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:10, Reply)

Of course you are Badger!
All of you are, it's just that I've met all of them, I've talked to them more in the past, and I really have to thank becky and MM for that clever little monkey photo story they did last month!

*encuddles*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Right here, Baby.
*shoves tongue into Burt's mouth*

Sorry to hear the rubbish news.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:12, Reply)

Good afternoon.
Berroca FTW! Although I've never noticed green pee after taking it.

Bert - your back! How wonderful.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Ew!
*gratefully receives Kaol's tongue again really*

It's alright Kaol, it's not your fault.


...unless you're the managing director of a small IT company, or you were driving a Land Rover in the Isle of Man early last month?

@BGB How are you doing my lovely?!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:15, Reply)

I'm sorry...
I don't remember, both of those may be the case, but I certainly hope they're not.

So, have ye a new job?
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)

Hey BGB, how are you?
Really? I asked my dealer, so to speak, and he said it happens to him when he has them. Berocca clearly works in mysterious ways.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)

@Bert
Are you coming to the London bash on the 25th?

All the cool kids will be there.

Edit - I'm great Batman, just looking forward to my week of soon.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)

My inbox has just told me
That www.amateurtransplants.com have a new album out. Woot!
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)

@Kaol
Nope. I've come to the realisation that all Recruitment Consultants are cunts.

I'm house-sitting at my sister's for the weekend, and taking full advantage of her laptop.

Bash on the 25th...? I'll just have a look...
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:18, Reply)

@BGB
Sweeeeeet. Any plans?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:19, Reply)

Bert
I too have come to that realisation.
Wanna help me fulfill my dream of a chain of b3ta pubs?
All we need is a pub, and some money...
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:20, Reply)

The Loon's flying over from the states?
Won't his arms get tired?

I've signed myself up, where is this Cardinal place that it's at?

@Lucy An ingenious plan! I can provide neither the pub, nor the finances, but I've got several years of experience running and working in pubs, restaurants and hotels, so bagsy I get to be Kitchen Porter!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:21, Reply)

@Batman
Well it just so happens that our friend the Resident Loon is coming over from Merkin land. We will be off to the Lake District for a few days and then down to London for the night to see some B3tans.

Tis very exciting.

Tourettes, Davros's Grandad and Boss Keloid will be over on the Saturday evening for drinkie poos also.


@Bert - it's in Westminster. If you can meet up with Al then he knows where it is.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:23, Reply)

@Bert:
CHCB has abandoned the OT board coz we're too fluffy for her, but she still hangs around in the main QOTW. The rest of them still post, but some of them usually only post during the evening-shift.
Oh, and don't forget to check out the timetable of upcoming QOTW bashes.
BTW: As you've guessed from my comments about new employers, I finally have a job-offer in London. Hopefully, I'll be starting sometime next month.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Good Afternoon
Back now, after an uneventful lunch.

Hello Bert, sorry to hear about your recent events, I hope things pick up for you soon!

Hmm, seems I missed Toad in the Hole and lovebites. I love TitH (now that's a nice acronym!), and have never had a lovebite, thankfully!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Bert
The job is yours. You'll even get a snazzy apron.
ha. I said snazzy.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)

Afternoon all!
Any crunchies left?

@Bert: Welcome back. Sorry to hear about your bad news...
@BGB: 'Cool Kids?' You're only saying that because you know I can't go...*sobs*...although that's not definite...yet...K
@TGB: You still 'on' for tomorrow? *hand-stinging 'The Todd' Style hi-fives*

mmm lovebites...takes me back to the early nineties...when I didn't get any then either.

Edit - wtf happened to my font then?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:26, Reply)

@BGB Why do you keep calling me Batman?
@spakkaman, good to hear about your new job, but it sucks that the gang don't seem to be around so much.

I have to admit, and I'm not being mean, I was reading through some of the Off Topic stuff before I started posting again and thought, 'where has all the funny gone?' :C

*dons snazzy apron*

*dons arm length rubber gloves*

RIGHT, somebody pass me the soap.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:26, Reply)

BGB
Sweet sounds cool. Have a good night. Have you signed up to the Edinburgh bash next year? I heard mention of it being a Ceilidh?!

@Bert. I think she's talking to me. Well I hope she is otherwise I look like a bit of a tool.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)

*grabs Holy Water*
*splashes Pooflake*

The Power Of Christ Compels You!
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:28, Reply)

It's pissing it down with rain again :(
And the clock is going so slowwwwly

Lab that can be the game for the bash tomorrow "Give Lab a lovebite - Win a prize!" :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:28, Reply)

@BGB
Is the Saturday thing in London too? And is that on the 25th?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:28, Reply)

*drinks holy water*

*quickly realises it's non-alcoholic*

*spits*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)

@Batman
DUH.

I'm well thick, I didn't even see you there, sorry Batman.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:30, Reply)

Hey Pooflake
Yes bash still on tomorrow
Yes crunchies still available *hands one over*
Yes we have a game for tomorrow! *evil laughter*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Bert
Yeah no worries. It happens quite a lot unfortunately. Nice to meet you though, how's it going?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)

Thank feck, it's not just me.
I thought that my own current events were responsible for my lack of perception of funny in here.

Welcome back, Bert. I too stay away from motorbikes as I prefer to keep my arms and legs as they are now.

EDIT: and for those complaining about the speed of their internet connection: it seems to be a b3ta problem, as it's painfully slow here too, while other sites pop right up. Someone needs to get on Rob's case about this. (I'd do it, but being so far away he can ignore me with impunity.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)

@TGB
You can try ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)

Ah Burt...
It's time you sucked the cock of the Fire God.

*grins*
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Very good, thanks Batman.
@TRL Off Topic just seems to be a place for people to chat now, nothing wrong witht that, it's just that when we started off with just replies to the questions it was all about the goat sex and many people said many funny things.

Re: motorbikes, I'm sure that most people would rather lose an arm or leg, rather than break their neck and die instantly (yeah, right, like I'm going to believe that Mr Coroner), like my Uncle did.

*sucks the cock of the Fire God*
*crowns self the Queen of You*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:36, Reply)

*tries harder to be funny*
*fails*

Oh game on Lab!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:38, Reply)

Apologies for previous dearth of funnies
Allow me to tell you about my most memorable day at work:

Ok, I work in Digital Forensics, so i look through computers for police and other clients. One female suspect had had her laptop seized for examination, which I then looked through.

I found she wrote (beautifully too) fan fiction. She also wrote gay slash fiction. I spent a whole day (have to view each document for relevance) reading her works, which included slash fiction of the usual (Buffy, Firefly, Supernatural etc). What surprised even jaded ol' me, was her favourite subject for slash fiction:

Top Gear

Oh yes, I have read her stories of the three presenters gleefully rogering each other. Sometimes Hamster would be the bummer, sometimes he'd be the bummee. Occasionally The Stig would watch, and sometimes he'd join in.

I'll never forget that case!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:38, Reply)

*whizzes in*
What game are we playing tomorrow TGB?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Nice crown
In other news, does anyone know about this:
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=67423
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:42, Reply)

Bert's back!
As am I. I return from Tesco with, amongst others, special offer cider, and a claw hammer. Woo!

I saw that Kaol, and wondered if it was yours. It's not mine.

How are you Bert?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

@Kaol
If it's not one you've set up it's probably something al or somebody did when we were having one of our many HILARIOUS name-changing and new account setting-up capers.

@PoD I'm fine thank you Mr ofDeath, how the devil are you, and what are you doing with that hammer?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Lab that is bizarre
I don't know if I will be able to watch Top Gear in the same way again 0_o

Himjim we are playing "Give Lab a Lovebite - Win a Prize!"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Nope,
It's not me.
I have two accounts, this one, and "Kaol".

They're a rubbish stalker, not even clicked "I like this" on my posts.

Unless they're the kind of stalker that hates me.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)

The hammer was cheap Mr Monkey
And I need it to nail stuff up in my new flat. The cider was just for my enjoyment :)

Sorry to hear about the job and other stuff Bert. You found another job yet?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:50, Reply)

I'll bet evil stalker
They are probably reading this conversation right now Kaol...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:52, Reply)

I hope they are.
I'd like to touch them.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:53, Reply)

I'm thinking
that I may need to create a sock puppet to have banter with, just to provide entertainment in here.

Or maybe that's too much work...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:54, Reply)

@Kaol
You can't have a stalker, normally you're the prowler, not the victim.
Don't worry though, I always click 'I Like This' on your posts.
*lies*

@PoD Nope, and my redundancy money (I got two and a half months pay, despite only being at the company 5 months, but most of that paid off debts) is about to run out, so now I have to start signing on :C

Still, easy street here I come!

@TRL Make your own entertainment! Get a sock puppet if you like, maybe we could have a competition, and the winner could get a shoe!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:54, Reply)

hullo Sexmonkey
Welcome home.

Now do the dishes and then get started on the hoovering.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:56, Reply)

*grumbles*
FINE. I'll do all the housework, while you lot make sock puppets and talk about love bites.

*Gets out Henry the Hoover*

*gets lost in Henry's beautiful eyes*

EDIT @CHCB PS. I love you.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:58, Reply)

Bert
Apart from the losing your job bit, it sounds like an ok deal really. Apart from the first bit, I reiterate.

Afternoon Miss Ceilidhband. Are thee well?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 14:59, Reply)

I love you too, Bertie-boy
*stamps on kitten to remove fluffehness*

Not bad, PoD, not bad, ta.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:00, Reply)

*picks up trampled kitten*
*fills with sweets*

Kittenata anyone?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:01, Reply)

Bert if you have any lovebites later
I think we will all know the culprit...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:01, Reply)

Kittenatas are more fun
Alive.
*grabs scalpel, needle and thread*

*grins*

You could also fuck 'em to make more room for sweets, woo!
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:03, Reply)

@TGB
Where Henry gives me love bites, you won't be able to see them.

Unless you fancy a peek?

*does Mexican hat dance*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:03, Reply)

^
*does Mexican avalanche*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)

I miss henry
When I was about 12 I went to bude for a week away with the school. One of the boys in my year decided he wanted henry to give him felatio in the corridor. He was promptly found, with his trousers down, by one of the staff members and he nearly got us kicked out after only a couple of days.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:07, Reply)

Sweet Jebus.
They're already resorting to puns on qotw and it's only bloody Friday.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:07, Reply)

We had a Henry in halls in first year
Whenever you used it, it produced an incredibly strong smell of the vomit. I think the folk the year before had used it to hoover up the offending substance.

And we all know that the smell of vomit makes one want to vomit. Not good.

*sings la cucaratcha*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:08, Reply)

A guy at school
Decided to see how many pints of water Henry could drink.

Seven.

Then he exploded, shorted the power, and spurted a brown paste from his vents.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:08, Reply)

*falls down the stairs*
Yay!

@Chcb, I had no idea you were a squirter.

@BGB This question is arse, I might post something on it later, entitled Charlotte of the immeasureably tight vagina from Bebo^TM

@Kaol Your friend murdered Henry! I don't mind you slashing prossies and hassling b3tans, but this time, you've gone too far.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:09, Reply)

Kaol
You made me do a very loud office laugh. Not good.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:09, Reply)

there is a chap in my office called Henry
who looks a lot like Henry the vacuum cleaner, in that he is round and red of face.

he eats tissue. I speculate that this is either because he is really weird, or to fill him up so he doesn't want to eat loads of food.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Because everytime Kaol kills a kitten
someone writes a pun?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:12, Reply)

Oh look, it's CHCB
* quickly stuffs cake in underpants *

* pours tea down underpants *

Ummm... the kitten... I can explain. I was just about to bite it's head off.

Hey Kaol, could you pass us that knife when you've finished with the hooker?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:12, Reply)

Capt'n V
That's what I'm here for :p
EDIT: No Spak... I don't share.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:12, Reply)

WELCOME BACK SEXMONKEY!!!!!!
*hands goats to everyone*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:15, Reply)

Oh dear,
looks like I won't have a sharp instrument to perform animal sacrifices with.

* Heads over to MM to recieve goat *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Hiya Eminem!!
Hooray!

*bums*

I never did thank you, or tell you how much I enjoyed yours and becky's tale of little Monkeysex, thank you, it brought a big silly grin to my face ugly mug.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)

Hooray!
We put a lot of effort into that for you. Didn't get us in the newsletter though....

*bums back with abandon*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)

Er....
I was bumming the goat, but thanks anyway.

*feels violated*

I've never been bummed by a lady before, please do it again any time you like.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)

I'm getting very tired
Perhaps a goat will wake me up?

*rubs up against the goat*

Nope. No more awake. Very glad I had no toad in the hole last night now - I'd be dead if I had!

Where can I get caffeine from? I don't drink tea/coffee and the canteen is closed so no coke etc. Only have water =/
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)

Sexmonkey
I'll get my strap on for you ANY day.
Where in the name of holy fuck nuggests have you been?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:22, Reply)

Wahey!
No lube next time though, I like it rough.

I can't be arsed to explain again, read above, or to summarise; lost job, uncle died, trip to Scotland, huge hug with Auntie, took care of her kids for a couple of weeks, came back, can't find new job, recruitment agents are cunts. END.

EDIT Oh, and I've missed you all.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

*ties C4 to goat*
*Sends goat next door to the inland revenue*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Aw pickle.
You can have my extra special goat to compensate. I keep it for occasions like this.

Missed you too. We keep asking after you and no one noes
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)

Instead of lube
How about sand? Gives that extra purchase.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)

@TGB
Normally, I can make my goats asplode without the need for C4.

@MM You just reminded me, becky text me AGES ago, and I was rude enough not to reply, what a cock I am.
I'm back now though, so b3ta can go back to how it was before :D

@Lab Sand may be a little extreme, maybe playdoh would be a good alternative?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
You fucking had to mention sand, didn't you.
*shudders uncontrollably*
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Afternoon MM
Are you well? Other than giving Bert a good rogering that is.

Is it wrong to sit at home alone in the afternoon drinking cider?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Right
I have to go drop my boyfriend off at his meeting, will be back in a bit.

kissy poos xx

EDIT" And no Pod, it's friday and therefore technically the weekend.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:30, Reply)

That's impressive Bert
If you like it rough I have a cactus in my office
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:30, Reply)

@Kaol
What's so wrong with sand?

*throws sand around*
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Oops
Seems I've inadvertently killed Kaol!

Playdoh would be an interesting substitute...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:32, Reply)

*punches Captain V in the head*
And we'll say no more on the matter.
EDIT: Apart from this: www.b3ta.com/questions/phobias/post140105
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:33, Reply)

@TGB
Is it a man Cactus, or a girl Cactus?

EDIT and cheerio MM!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:33, Reply)

A female cactus
called Barb. She is a good 7" now as well.

Playdoh is weird and I don't even want to know about the sand
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:37, Reply)

@kaol
*in the voice of strongbad*

Ah, now I understand!
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:39, Reply)

TGB
You're happy about the cactus, but not the sand?

I was looking at cider today Miss Badger, but I couldn't find any with interesting names :(
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:39, Reply)

*gapes*
*backs up onto Barb while going 'beeep beeep beeep'*

Playdoh as lube would be messy, but you could increase the size of your member, or make doughy implements to insert as required.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:39, Reply)

All these puns on the QotW...

It's disgusting.

for shame!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:40, Reply)

PoD
Because Playdoh is salty enough? (EDIT: I read sand as playdoh. I don't know either!)

And I think you have to travel to some deep and dark villages to top my super cock passion juice
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:43, Reply)

Well
I don't really want to drink any super cock passion juice to be honest.

I did get a six pack of magners on special offer for some reason though. Dunno why, and don't care.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:46, Reply)

Cider names
I haven't found anything that beats that TGB, but my parents did get given a bottle of Australian wine called "Cats Piss on a Gooseberry Bush".

I didn't taste it, so don't know if that was an accurate description.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:48, Reply)

PoD
Keep your eyes open for "K" cider.
Amazing stuff.
(If you've got the constitution of a tramp)
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

K cider!
I used to drink that back in the day.
I remember one night when I was about 14 I drank 2 cans of it in the park, then went on the roundabout and threw up on this girl Marie's jeans and brand new reebok classics.
She was a bitch though so it's fine.
Good times, good times.
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:55, Reply)

It probably tasted better
than the cider Lab!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:55, Reply)

I'm back!
If you ever get the chance, eat at the OXO tower. I had:

Caramelised Pork chop on stir-fried bok choi with a roasted peach, watercress, sesame hoi-sin and peanuts.

It. Was. Yummy!

Also: Look for Vox white cider. Evil, nasty stuff!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:55, Reply)

my cider of choice when I was a callow youth
was White Knight. good stuff

84p for a litre
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:56, Reply)

@lusty
Your little story just made go 'awww!' all nostalgically like.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:57, Reply)

Cider...

I used to be really picky about which cider I had...

Then I embraced happy alcomaholism and now anything will do...

even that cornish cock-crippling stuff with bits of straw and rat hair floating in it that you have to hold your nose to drink.

let the good times roll!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:59, Reply)

I don't find stories about vomiting funny.
My drummer died from choking on somebody elses vomit.

A sad day for us all.

*takes off hat*
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:00, Reply)

^^because^^

"you can't really...dust...for vomit"
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:01, Reply)

*vomits in Kaol's hat*
excuse me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:01, Reply)

I used to love getting drunk in the park.
White lightening cider, stella, a ten deck of B&H and home before 11 reeking of vomit and covered in grass stains.
Those were the days!
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:01, Reply)

@Kaol
Were you in a band, or was your drummer just a little man who followed you around going rat-a-tat-a-tat?

/hopes not to offend
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:04, Reply)

I was in a band.
Well, I still am.

We got a new drummer, onto our 11th now.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:05, Reply)

11th drummer?
That's fairly impressive. This one sounds fairly good too on the plus side.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:07, Reply)

@Kaol
Awww... I was hoping it was the latter, I could just imagine a little man drumming excitedly while you're on the loo, or knocking out a slow beat as you receive some sad news, he could've even done ba-dum tishes at the end of all your jokes.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:11, Reply)

Damn you pooflake!
I wanted to say that :p

Kaol do you have a very black cover on your new album?
t's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:17, Reply)

I've seen it
the question is, how much more black can it be?

the answer: none...more black

damn you TGB, you ninja!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Sory PoD...
Spinal Tap reference!

I'm off now, it's London Time!

*waves*

Have a good weekend, you loveable scamps!
( Cawl, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:22, Reply)

I'm outta here too! - Woo!

btw - real world update...I've heard Kaol's drummer and he's very good.

see y'all at the bash on the morrow!

*waves*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:30, Reply)

Crunchies for everyone who got the
Spinal Tap reference!

Sorry PoD :p

Damn everyone who is going home!
See you tomorrow Pooflake :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:30, Reply)

Kaol's drummer
bit too heavy on the cymbals for my liking, and not enough cowbell. otherwise very good.

I find it disgusting how good the drummer in my band is. what makes it worse is that he is really good on the guitar and piano as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:35, Reply)

I'm still here!
And I got the reference, but I would like to donate my crunchie to a worthwhile cause, please!

56 minutes to go... Is it just us, TGB & Vipros?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:35, Reply)

I'm still here
But only for another 23 minutes
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:37, Reply)

DiT, TGB and me?
I make that Pimms o'clock

edit: *grumbles about other people and begrudgingly gets out more glasses*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:37, Reply)

*stands there awkwardly*
*stares at feet as Vipros hunts out another glass*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Woo Pimms!
*glug glug glug*

30 mins and counting for me :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

*stands with hands on hips*
awaiting glass
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

Pimms O' Clock?
Damn right!

*opens gullet*

*pours down throat*

Ah! Refreshing!

EDIT: What's with all the puns this week? It's still Friday fer gawd's sake!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:46, Reply)

I'm off!
WOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOO!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:51, Reply)

I'm still here
just a wee bit busy.

*makes turbo pimms*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

@DiT
I'm putting it down to the question being crap.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

*snatches Pimms before DiT drinks it all*
From what I see the puns are all by the same person!!

Clendrix, here let me get you a glass. Can't get the staff you know
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Badger
Why, thank you! Love Pimms, me (when it's made properly i.e. with lots of gin!).
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:55, Reply)

*graciously accepts the Pimms*
Cheers!!

*downs it*

Right, off home now, via the pub for a couple of cheeky ciders!

Take care all, see some of you tommorrow!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:57, Reply)

Well yeah...
It's not the best question, but maybe that's the point. Maybe out overlords are asking us to think about what we post and be creative with our answers.

I'd rather see ten pages of well thought out, well written, amusing, thought-provoking posts over pages and pages of terrible puns.

Even in the 'Mix Tape' question there were some gems.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:57, Reply)

I agree DiT
But we have to take one step at a time, last week I don't think we got any last calls? So this week we are phasing out puns and hopefully next week will be no puns till Wednesday at the earliest :)

*puts on optimism hat*
Bye lab see you tomorrow :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:01, Reply)

^No! Not one!
Which was a refreshing change, I can tell you!

EDIT: See ya, labia! (which sounds wrong on many levels...)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:03, Reply)

I agree really
But unfortunately I can't see the majority of people ever thinking the same way. I'm glad I've discovered the beauty of /all though as it really makes questions like this a lot better.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:03, Reply)

Hmm
B3tards would appear to be broken. How useful.

I'm going to watch a Muppet's Christmas Carol tonight. What are you all upto?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:06, Reply)

Muppets!
I'm going round a friend's house to watch a film and have a few drinks. Should be quite nice.

I'm making a move homewards.

Enjoy your evening all.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:08, Reply)

I really don't mind this QOTW at all.
I don't think I have anything to post, but I've read some really good ones so far. Amongst the dross are some posts about truly funny/terrible things, or some less so but made great in their re-telling.

Edit: going to the pub. Will this ever become dull?
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:08, Reply)

@clendrix
as long as there's good company the pub is never dull!
( wanderlust, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:11, Reply)

Hurrah I am off as well :)
Have a good evening everyone :)

*hugs and cookies and the remaining crunchies for all*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:13, Reply)

M'offski too!
To Essex! And don't spare the horses!

Have a ruddy wonderful weekend everyone! No doubt I shall look in on you betwixt the shooting of clay pigeons and the drinking of drinks!

*smooshes*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:22, Reply)

Typical
I get in as everyone's fucking off!
Anyone still around?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 17:51, Reply)

not so much around
as only just arrived.

hallooooo?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 18:11, Reply)

Hi tulip
I'm still about.

How are you?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 18:17, Reply)

I'm at home now :D
Eating cheese *nom nom nom* Should really start an evening thread this one is loooooong
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 18:19, Reply)

hello dearest darling PoD
How are you?

Ah, I see there is a new thread to live in.

*ups sticks*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 18:28, Reply)