Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Here, have this roasted pea!!I was doing a shit, lets call it John, for that was his name, post funny face
memes, repetition, etcLength? A few words on a screen
tl;dr fuck off
Cheers.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:08,
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I like this!(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:25,
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What's with all the deloltion in my thread? I'm assuming it was you.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:49,
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Good Evening.I hope this finds you all well.
Hope you had a wonderful weeekend.
I did my second run and knocked a minute off my time.
I also went to see "It Follows" at the cinema which was proper old skool horror and well creepy.
Thank you.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:22,
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Yes.Yes, it is.
I'm now into a second lot of antibiotis, which seem to be getting to grips with the illness that's had hold on me since November. It's like I've forgotten what it feels like to wake up and feel like a normal human.
Well, as normal as I can get, anyway...
How are you all?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:24,
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We're all dying of antibiotic resistant bacteria because SOME PEOPLE over use them.(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:34, Reply)
That's why the first lot didn't work.Doctors hand them out like sweeties, so whatever bug I've picked up is just laughing in the face of their puny efforts.
These new ones are the daddy, though.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:41,
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They don't so much anymore, the real problem is vets. They shouldn't give you antibiotics for anything short of a 2 week infection now, although some doctors still do for an easy life.
(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)
Good afternoon, Dozer.It's nearly the end of Monday - how lovely.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:26,
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i dunno, by my perception of time it's over halfway through now(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:29,
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so much to do pal, I have a very important job with a significant impact on my employer's 'bottom line'Cheers.
(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
you'd love to have a significant impact on your employer's bottom(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:32,
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What part of 12:28 do you have trouble understanding, you silly sausage?(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:35,
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Hahaha!(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:52,
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It's afternoon post meridiemWhat did they teach you at that polytechnic?
(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:33, Reply)
clearly that the earth stops revolving until he has shovelled lunch into his whiskery gob(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:36,
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I like the fact that if the earth did stopwe'd all go flying off.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:42,
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just my luck i'd end up somewhere shitlike pluto.
(no uranus jokes)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:50,
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That would depend on how quickly the earth stoppedIf it was gradual we wouldn't really notice it apart from the weather getting more fucked. The mass of the earth would still create gravity. Also the rotational speed is something like 1600 kmph while the escape velocity is around 40,000 kmph so we wouldn't fly off you might get dragged along though...
TLDR
(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:35, Reply)
Oh and of course you would end up with half the planet in perpetual darkness(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)
might wander over to tv sleb chef gino d'acampo and get some pasta with fiery chilli sauce in a minutewhat's everyone else having?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:31,
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Strawberries, yoghurt and cherry flapjack, vine ripened tomato and lentil soup over the course of the day.where the fuck else do tomatoes ripen?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:37,
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is that the tesco finest one with spinach?i love a bit of that with cheese melted into it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:37,
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i like making my own soup, got my eye on a creamy garlic mushroom recipe i sawbut you always end up with far too much of it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:49,
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i wouldbut the freezer is full of bottles of vodka. and it takes so long to defrost and wah wah wah.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:51,
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or this one, lookallrecipes.com/recipe/mushroom-and-gorgonzola-soup/
NOM
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:52,
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yes, probably, but that wasn't the point jaysums was asking about.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:45,
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Just like every other fruit, in fact.Old GJ up there seems to think that an entirely automatic sugars conversion in a living organism is going to stop because Tesco sliced off its umbilical a little bit higher up.
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Kroney, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:44,
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old GJ ws trying to make a lighthearted anecdote, but you lot are all pricks/ac
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:46,
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i conducted a search and that phrase doesn't appear, that wasn't an /ac you fucking liar.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:47,
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It can change depending on the poster and the post.
/Accepts cock
/Aids carrier
/Anal capaciousness
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Muns, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:03,
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^ THIS ^just cob some tomatoes at them, old buddy old pal
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:48,
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Take them out of the tin first though, yeah?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:49,
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Burger, with blue cheese and bacon, chips and slaw. Proper chips, not the shitty 'fries' nonsense.(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:50, Reply)
interestingsee, i think there is a place in life both for really good proper chips AND really good french fries.
and that place may, from time to time, be in a nice pot in front of me, slathered in salt and vinegar.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:51,
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Fries are just served because of time innit. We do them, but I wouldn't eat them.(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:56, Reply)
yeah it's not like anywhere would serve both and offer a choice or anything mental like that(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:58,
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who offers customers a choice these days?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:00,
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i can't remember the last time i had a choice, all the decent eateries just pump slurry via a funnel directly down your throat as you file in and out on a conveyor belt, paying via contactless cards in under 45 seconds(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:05,
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I find I like it when as a consumer I don't have to make choices, as it's clear I have no idea what I like.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:08,
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it's good that they have done away with waiting staff too so everything is ordered via an app, when i say ordered, i mean you just punch in how many doses of nutrient gel you require administering along with your paypal details(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:10,
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Oi, I arksed you a question up there5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2473160
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:11,
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because there's a new thread silly, i can't leave all my replies there can i, or i wouldn't be allowed to post here(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:12,
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Sorry, I haven't familiarised myself with the latest posting rules in the updated Eff Ay Cue section(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:14,
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We don't do contactless cards, although you can choose your burger topping.(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
They aren't that much quicker tbh, not as much as the difference between fries and properly cooked chips.(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)
it's nice that you take such pride in the food you serve(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:16,
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also, your crappy pub food clearly isn't anywhere near decent, the menu and associated pictures look rubbish(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:15,
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What's his vegetarian option?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:15,
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bring your own meal, you can use the outdoor camping fax stove(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:16,
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Homemade or a crappy microwave meal that you've transferred into an earthenware dish and added grated cheese on top?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:25,
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i'm sure your website really makes the place shine out like the beacon of monotony and depression you make your 'boozer' sound like on hereif i was going to pretend to have taken over a pub on the internet to try and impress people i'd put a bit more effort into my bullshit rather than paint a picture of a failing business and quite a mundane existence for myself
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:26,
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I heard hartley hare designed the kitchen in his made up pub(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:27,
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i think he just helped, like he has helped lots of other people on here where homebase couldn't(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:28,
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Do you think Harters' new job is as one of those old retired fellas who offer DIY advice in B&Q?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:45,
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I see him more as a sales representative with a skoda octavia driving round all day with a crappy leather folder and a catalogue of screws and fixings desperately trying to hit targets so he can buy a matching suit to replace the one he's too fat for(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:57,
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That's what he wants you to believe, I suspect his life is a lot less glamorousAlso, nice trips.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:05,
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Funny how all the worlds most successful people post on the offtopix forum(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:12,
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Tell you what, Rory's skiing trip to Val Thorens is lasting quite long, I hope he hasn't had another stroke(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:19,
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I hope he's just busy holidaying and winning at life and not back in the rehabilitation centre. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:19,
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I'm with you on that; they both have their place.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:15,
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How much weight have you put on since stopping being a fake doctorand becoming a fake publican
(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:41, Reply)
One milano salami, german salami, gouda and salad roll. One milano salami, brunswick ham, gouda and salad roll.
(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE! BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART!(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:00,
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I'll have to get back to you, I'm thinking it over(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:02,
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STOP ! right now ,thank you very much. I need someone with a human touch.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:16,
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It's "alright" as I believe the kids are saying these days(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:17,
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Nobody knows it When I was down I was your clown Nobody knows it Right from the start I gave you my heart I gave you my heart So don't go breaking my heart I won't go breaking your heart Don't go breaking my heart(
Peej, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:24,
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it's a lovely spring daywho wants to climb trees and play cowboys and indians?
(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:28, Reply)
Make it Arthur Scargill and the miners vs Police and you've got a deal. (, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:30, Reply)
I've just had lunchI'm going to need some looser trousers to climb a tree.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:44,
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i threw my arancini balls awaytoo full. what a waste :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:48,
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There are starving children in Africa you know(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:49,
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i'm not sure rice fried in cheese and breadcrumbs would really help their nutrition, tbh(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:01,
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well, not compared to porridge or chicken or fishfried white rice and cheese is not really going to do anyone any good.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:19,
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What about compared with starving?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:27,
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i really don't think a tiny little arancini ball is going to stop anyone from starving(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:28,
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and yet it was too big for youit's almost like you have an eating disorder
(, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:31, Reply)
yesafter a box of penne pasta and a complimentary slice of pizza, funnily enough, i couldn't also manage the arancini balls.
if i had been able to, THAT would have been an eating disorder.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:33,
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Terrible bullying of sportscrow(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:10,
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