What's the pay like for a QOTW mod, anyway? And does the job involve gaz hacking?
alt: Cereal is for children and anything with 'bran' in the name will give you the shits.
altalt: Diana Ross or Madonna?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 7:45, 131 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

altalt: Neither, you disgusting queer.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 7:58, Reply)

rob said i could be mod
so you have to do what i say now, ok?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:10, Reply)

yes sir.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:18, Reply)

as you were

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:26, Reply)

madonna

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:14, Reply)

dianadonna.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:19, Reply)

diana bella
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:23, Reply)

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:35, Reply)

An award to be proud of on any CV

( Peej, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:39, Reply)

Why does her trophy have "FAIL" engraved at the top?
^ stupid question
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)

you've wanked alone in a toilet cubicle to her performances and she's a millionaire
I'm not sure who's getting the dignity check here
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)

Yeah well I haven't had a bunch of sad lonely wankers watching me bash the bishop in the work toilets.
_{At least I don't think so.}
(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)

wave at the camera in the corner

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:28, Reply)

HIYA!

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

Aren't millionaire porn stars the exception, rather than the rule?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:18, Reply)

Cocaine is expensive.

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:34, Reply)

I might go and have a shit in a minute.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:23, Reply)

If I were a Mod my sole inspiration would be B3th

( Peej, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:27, Reply)

What are you having for your first breakfast of the day?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:39, Reply)

I don't eat breakfast, sorry Jeff

( Peej, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:40, Reply)

altalt: Ross Kemp

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:33, Reply)

I would assume that the pay for a job like qotw mod would reflect the high status and regard such a role would afford.
Gaz hacking would no doubt be an essential tool for a mod serious about defeating terrorism.

Alt: I think I could eat something containing bran without suffering from any digestive complaints as a result.

Altalt: Florence Ballard.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:43, Reply)

Give the job to Albert then.

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:46, Reply)

or Roy Whiting

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:01, Reply)

Icons
Alt. My Children eat Bran Flakes
AltAlt. n
( Peej, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:45, Reply)

I had porridge for breakfast, and I don't have any interest in shagging pensioners.
True mods work for the love of the site. Reading everyone's gazzes is an undeclared benefit.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)

Much like the comments section on youtube, I feel that other peoples gazzes are best avoided

( Peej, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)

you get paid with your own sense of authority over someone

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)

I'M RICH! RICH BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS!

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:57, Reply)

yes!

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:58, Reply)

New money is so crass.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:00, Reply)

ass inkly and delicious
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:03, Reply)

I bet it can't turn the milk chocolatey, though.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:17, Reply)

mmmm ... delicious wallet soup

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:30, Reply)

^ keeps chocolate coins in his wallet

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:59, Reply)

you disgust me

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:18, Reply)

I want to pot up some hellebores but there are goldfinch on the linseed and I don't want to disturb them
/middleagedcrisisoftheweek
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:28, Reply)

don't get me started, I'm having a proper middle class battle over a fence which is really hampering my border planting schedule.
There's even solicitors involved.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

Leyland pines
Massive massive Leyland pines. All neighbourly warfare should be conducted with gigantic hedges.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:16, Reply)

they've stated categorically that they believe the fence to be on my property and that I should pay for it
I've gone with a solicitors letter claiming criminal damage to my fence by the ivy on their side that has destroyed the fence in the first place. I got an email today stating they may be willing to come to an arrangement
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)

doesn't it say on the deeds or summat which boundaries you're responsible for?
I know we're responsible for that really handsome fence over there and the neighbours are responsible for that really shitty panel fence over there
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:48, Reply)

Nope, checked that, no boundary markers on the land registry so they're shared boundaries.
usually get a T mark to shoe which is yours, but there's nothing. Possibly because they're old terraces so would have one stage been shared gardens.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:54, Reply)

the goldfinch, they won't mind.
Is a household budget of £600 too much to spend on wild bird food?
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)

a day? a week?
I dunno. It does add up though. Greedy wee fucks.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:15, Reply)

an annual expenditure, although during spring it feels like per day.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:56, Reply)

I can't imagine that wild birds would be that fussy.

( Muns, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:29, Reply)

you'd be wrong
my mum used to make them a massive plate every morning with breadcrumbs, cubes of butter/cheese, nuts, raisins, oats and wild bird food. each breed had its favourite - the jays/jackdaws stole all the cheese (they can carry about 5 cubes each), the blackbirds liked the raisins etc.

none of them liked the wild bird food. that was rejected until the very end. if she was late with the plate, there'd be birds in the trees chacking and scolding.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)

It's this sort of behaviour that stunts the evolutionary process.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:18, Reply)

You mean that butter doesn't grow in the wild?
:O
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:51, Reply)

Never mind that, I'm having dilemma over which very nice Pub A Couple Of Miles Away I should walk the dog to for a nice lunch of home-made chips and a pint of Adnams.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:00, Reply)

does either one take you across any motorways?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)

There might be a tractor or two passing by on one of them.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:05, Reply)

I always wondered how people get home made chips anywhere other that at home

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 12:18, Reply)

Altalt: Both are testament to the power of ambition over ability.
Look at Ross, neither the best singer nor the best looking one in the Supremes, yet she is the star.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:36, Reply)

maybe she was better at blow jobs

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)

maybe
( Peej, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:24, Reply)

POIDH

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:30, Reply)

Bet Berry Gordy has loads

( Peej, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:32, Reply)

It's like how Geri is the most successful solo wise of the Spice Girls (I think)
and that Cheryl Nandos-Vizier one
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)

and Robbie Williams
brief as it was
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)

I think the success of mediocre singer and dancer Madonna was an inspiration to the young Geraldine.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:49, Reply)

Madonna's been shit since after the Immaculate era. I don't know why I'm supposed to give a shit any more.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)

I always preferred Geri's pre-Spice Girl work

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:00, Reply)

did she get her wallops out or am I confusing her with somebody else?

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:17, Reply)

stunned, possibly others

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:18, Reply)

She sure did, as well as appearing as a 'prize stroker' on a Turkish gameshow
Still, she has dignity on her side now that she is a multimillionaire.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:23, Reply)

You can't put a price on dignity.
At least, I hope not, as I gave mine away for free.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:29, Reply)

YOUN THE PRIZE STROKER!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:56, Reply)

Well, some of those 'glamour' shots of Ms Halliwell were quite arousing.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:57, Reply)

If you're not a gay man or a woman under 40, you're not really supposed to.

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)

there's no admin tools to mess with the gaz messages
which also means I have no idea how popular that feature is - for all I know, the only messages ever sent are the few hundred or so sent to me
( rob, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:38, Reply)

I get a lot of dick pics
not complaining, just saying
( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)

did you like them?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:42, Reply)

yes xxx

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)

:)

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:49, Reply)

all I ever get is people asking if I'm really a pig.
It's a bit distressing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:42, Reply)

So are you or not?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:45, Reply)

kind of, yeah. a bit.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:47, Reply)

That's so hot

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:47, Reply)

Everyone said you no longer cared about this site, but it's clear now that it is still very close to your heart.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:45, Reply)

yeah being busy meant I did neglect the site
I tried my best to get a newsletter out most weeks mind you - but there have been awful gaps
( rob, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:38, Reply)

this doesn't seem in keeping with the Mirror Group attitude to privacy

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:48, Reply)

Clicking this.

( Muns, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:56, Reply)

if you'd just reply to one of them i'd stop sending so many

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:50, Reply)

Fair enough.
Just don't give the job to anyone who wants it, they're the ones you have to watch out for.
( Muns, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:58, Reply)

that was the Douglas Adam's theory
he might be right - but it's very very hard to recruit from people who don't want to do it
( rob, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:39, Reply)

do you get loads of gazzes from people wanting to 'buy the site and then shut it down'?
I'd love to read those
( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:02, Reply)

Do you really finger kids, like all those people say?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:26, Reply)

to be honest stuff like that doesn't really endear me to the site
Oh yeah b3ta is great - I should do more with it - *goes and checks * aha, the 'comedy' libel, always delightful
( rob, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:41, Reply)

Hilarious moral high-ground you have there.
Tell us, what endears you to the Mirror Group? Perhaps we should all be more like them? Would that endear you to the site and make you do more with it, perhaps to make it into a semi-literate Buzzfeed?
( drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 15 Mar 2015, 17:23, Reply)

It's mongy's lifeline.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:35, Reply)

HIYA, thought you'd left 5eva.
Why the sudden activity, has UHT been shut down?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:42, Reply)

Does the dev request mean that Ignore is FINALLY going to be fixed?
Also, if you do us new icons some of us might chuck a few quid in, then this place won't have to be so reliant on advertising which most people probably have hidden anyway ... jussayin
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:48, Reply)

I use it like I use tinder

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:43, Reply)

Alt: Porridge is alright, and sugar-free muesli is good but it's a bastard to find for under a tenner these days.

Altalt: Both can roundly fuck off.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:42, Reply)

I'm 65% sure that I'm going to end up giving our mortgage advisor a slap in the god damned chops.

( Kroney, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:59, Reply)

Are you sure you wouldn't rather allow your seething resentment to grow inside, but then when he asks if you're happy with how things are proceeding, assure him that everything is fine?
And then apologise to him.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)

it is the middle class way.
Also, make sure to do some swearing while filling out the check for his fee.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:16, Reply)

Release that angst by pressing down hard on the pen as you sign your life away.
That'll show the bastards.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)

yeah! down with the man!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:19, Reply)

It depends on when he asks me. If he makes the mistake of asking when something's going wrong
I may be politely sarcastic.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:22, Reply)

terrible bullying of retail financial services professionals

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:11, Reply)

what's he up to?
The one we went to recently spent the entire meeting telling me that we could get what we wanted and he'd find us the right deal. He than rang a week later and said "sorry, can't help you lol"
I might poo on his desk.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:15, Reply)

Well, we've been proceeding with everything based on his recommendations, paying solicitors etc
I'm in a probationary period and have been open about it since engaging him. He's categorically assured us that it wouldn't be a problem and recommended a lender based on them not considering it a problem.

Can you guess what has happened, three weeks, a couple of grand and a few further solicitor's fees later?
( Kroney, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:21, Reply)

It all proceeded with no problems or delay?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:26, Reply)

I love your positivity

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:27, Reply)

To be honest, I wouldn't be so bothered.
It's a bump in the road and they're to be expected. It's not like we're going to struggle to get a mortgage, even if we have to swap lenders.

I'm pissed off that this prick keeps stressing out the mrs with it. For some reason, he won't come to me despite having all my contact details.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:32, Reply)

For a nation obsessed with this 'home ownership' bullshit you'd have thought they'd have got it pretty seamless by now.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:35, Reply)

I'm more interested in the far cheaper monthly outgoings owning a place will cost me compared to renting.
I'm apathetic about the actual concept of home ownership.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:36, Reply)

See, I'm quite apathetic about my monthly outgoings and quite happy that any potential problem in my gaff is not my problem.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:37, Reply)

Buying a house is easy apart from everyone involved in the "industry"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:41, Reply)

Estate agents and mortgage brokers should be better regulated.
Any thick cunt can pitch up and start doing it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:42, Reply)

I bet it's well easy if you just rock up to someone's doorstep with several hundred thousand in cash and say 'I'll give you this for that'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:42, Reply)

^ voice of experience

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:43, Reply)

if his negligence has caused you financial loss then you can make a regulated complaint against him and seek redress.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:36, Reply)

we came up against that when we bought.
I ended up having to make an appointment with the lender direct, and had to take 6 months of payslips and a letter from my employer staring that I did have a perm contract and the probationary period was merely a formality.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:26, Reply)

It's all a massive waste of everyone's time.
You have next to no employment rights in the first 12 months anyway. Even after that your rights are pretty worthless unless you can afford a lawyer to pursue a claim against your former employer.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:29, Reply)

yup, all it does is serve to reduce paperwork for HR if you act the cunt early on.
To be fair, when I spoke to the lender direct, a lot of the trouble we had just went away.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:39, Reply)

It's almost as if these 'agents' create problems to justify their own cunty existence.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:41, Reply)

i find it very hard to believe that they're clueless shysters charging fees for doing and knowing fuck all

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)

As is mine.
I'm been told that they've got no intention of getting rid of me, which is nice to know. I've suggested a similar letter to the mortgage advisor (who should have bloody well thought of that by now).
( Kroney, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:35, Reply)

judging by yesterdays replies, a few fingers and a waggy tail.
alt. Is it not meant to make your shits less watery with all the neat spirits you quaff? Nothing worse than a pebbledashed bowl.

altalt. Madonna, duh.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:37, Reply)

She'd have your eye out with those traffic cones.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:43, Reply)

I'll pull her cape and run away

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:48, Reply)

Guy Ritchie liked it up the arse with a platinum-plated strap-on while she wore a stetson

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:49, Reply)

He's rather fit mind. I'd do that for him.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)

having a big old wank about this

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 12:03, Reply)

It's her penis that he's more interested in.

( Muns, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:52, Reply)

It's been said that the difference between the sexes is less pronounced both early and late in life.
Hence bald old women and androgynous newborns.
I don't think this extends to women growing cocks once they hit 75.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)

Disappointing

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)