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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My Ignore list...
Has grown exponentially in the past couple of days.
I fear, if i ever decide to visit /talk then i may be greeted with a blank canvas! (Well, i can hope, can't i?)

edit: Might aswell...

(I helped save b3ta! Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 6:22, 349 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Well.....
....I hope I'm not on your ignore list. I'm up at stupid o'clock, because of the early shift.
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 6:28, Reply)
when WILL people learn that puerile humour was NO PLACE on b3ta.com?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 6:39, Reply)
that mike is a dreadful troll though
I don't like him really
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:02, Reply)
@Al
You're up early!
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:17, Reply)
I'm at work
sorting a last few things out before I go to Sweden.

My colleague who was there last week says there's plenty of snow there already. *packs sledge*
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:30, Reply)
Morning funsters!
It's wet and crap outside, but I'm feeling surprisingly good. I spent an hour in the shower shaving my head and face with a razor. Now my shower room is covered in my wavy locks.

How are we all?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:33, Reply)
@rubberduck
enjoy Sweden. Never been there, but it looks nice. Why you going there?

@No3

Why did you shave your head? I love having hair.
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:37, Reply)
@ Stig
It was getting too long and my clippers gave up last month so I took the easy option and shaved it all off. It was kinda spontaneous. I like having hair too, so I left a bit on my chin :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:44, Reply)
@No3
If I had a choice of being fat and having hair or thin and bald.....?


Bring on the obesity!

Luckily, I'm thin (relatively!) and a full head of hair!
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:46, Reply)
Morning all the people
Have a class at 9 today, so up ridiculously early. The annoying thing is that I finish my day at 10am, after a thrilling hour of DFMA.

What fun it shall be.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:49, Reply)
@Stig
I'm going to literally the middle of nowhere, to a place called Arjeplog.

A quick google should reveal exactly why I'm going there :)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:50, Reply)
Well
I'm overweight (not obese
- Wii Fit told me so :) and now I'm bald too, but I shan't take offence :)

What brings you here so early today?

Edit: rubberduck, that sounds like a place name Douglas Adams made up!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:50, Reply)
That'll be brilliant 'Ducky
I am very jealous of your job at times. At other times I relish being a student.

I would relish it more if I didn't have as many assignments.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:54, Reply)
Morning POD!
What're you studying?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:55, Reply)
Product Design Engineering
But I would also appear to be studying the affects of not getting enough sleep.

And my hair is wild this morning.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 7:59, Reply)
@rubberduck
I just googled "Arjeplog".....jammy sod! ;O)

@ No3

Glad you didn't take offence! :O) But I still prefer having hair!
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:09, Reply)
Morning all
I've got to go to work today.

How much does that suck?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:10, Reply)
@ Mrs Liveinabin
Be grateful you have a job, some of us won't soon!

Everyone, check this article out:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7655178.stm

If it doesn't make your blood boil, then you must have studied Management and economics at univeristy, rather than a proper subject....
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:13, Reply)
@Stig
I don't have a job!

I qualified as a teacher this year but couldn't find a job so I am teaching supply.

*edit* At least teaching is immune to all this credit crunch business.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:15, Reply)
Mrs Liveinabin
It's still employment! In this economic climate, I'm having to look at contracting now to maintain steady work.... :O(
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:17, Reply)
We're early this morning!
Morning all.

It's not just the economic climate that's miserable. It's pissing with rain too.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:19, Reply)
@K26k
It must be miserable weather if a Scotsman is complaining about it! ;O)
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:20, Reply)
@Mrs L
If it's any consolation at all, my mum qualified as a primary school teacher 8 years ago. Since then, she's flitted between permanent positions and supply teaching. For what it's worth, she's always jacked in the permanent positions after 2/3 years due to the pressure and stress, and is now happy doing teaching on a semi-permanent supply basis (and earning more than she did in her permanent position). She tops it up by doing a bit of freelance private 1-1 tuition too.

The bizarre thing is that I've seen countless articles about a shortage of teachers, but it seems to be nigh on impossible to actually find any teaching job vacancies.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:20, Reply)
@Stig
Actually, it's less miserable than it often is. I just felt like having a bit of a grizzle this morning!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:23, Reply)
@rubberduck
I heard the same thing about Nursing jobs. Apparently, it's a bit of a myth that there's a shortage of nursing jobs. Doctors, yes, nurses, no.

I've read a few articles where, people have trained as nurses, then had to find employment in other industries because the jobs just didn't exist!

Bizarre....
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:26, Reply)
My best friend
teacher KS2 and she's fortunately never found herself short of work. She has, however, found it difficult not to get tied up in the management bullshit that goes along with government targets and overbearing headteachers...

But I'm sure you won't have any problems Mrs L :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 8:52, Reply)
^^^
Good point. When i said that my mum jacked in her permanent teaching positions due to the stress, it was nothing to do with the stress of teaching itself. It was entirely due to the 'office politics' bollocks and inadequate management.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:08, Reply)
*yawns*
Duckie you jammy sod!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:14, Reply)
The teaching bit is easy
it's the rest of the bullshit that's the problem.

(in case you are wondering, I'm not working until this afternoon)
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:15, Reply)
Morning All
How is everyone tis fair morn?
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:16, Reply)
@rubberduck
I'm almost jealous, but I'm going to Sweden and Denmark with work shortly anyway.

Not to test cars though :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:19, Reply)
No Way!!
Check these guys out

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/7654267.stm
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:20, Reply)
Aww
I can't watch BBC videos at work for some reason.

:(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:22, Reply)
@ Never-right
Seems Planet of the Apes is drawing near...
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:27, Reply)
Thats
An outrage!!

Can understand some sites being blocked...but teh BBC?
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:27, Reply)
@ Ethelred
Hmmm a planet full of waiter monkeys.

lolz
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:28, Reply)
NR
You'd get a nasty nip if you don't tip though I bet!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Morning my minions
How's it going?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Fantastic
but they are not one of them is wearing a fez.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Woah! Entertaining but wrong
They'll have them working in brothels next.
I can see the punters clamouring to buy some used monkey pants to sniff.
It's only a matter of time, they already wank off to cartoons don't they?

Oh yeah, morning folks.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:31, Reply)
Ha ha
Morning.

To be fair they looked happy enough. Not sure about them working in brothels tho.

That would be wrong!
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:33, Reply)
Hey Pinky
Never right, the BBC website isn't blocked, for some reason my computer just doesn't play the videos! Probably as it is a million years old.

Hey Kaol you loser :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:34, Reply)
@TGB
Oh I see...

Thats more like it..
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:35, Reply)
I'm not a loser :(
Although I've got a crippling hangover this morning.

Declaring that last night was "Mixing-my-drinks-night" was a bad idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:36, Reply)
Right
Just leaving now to go to Heathrow. Not sure what interweb access there is in the Swedish wilds, so if I don't pop up soon, I'll be back on Friday.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:47, Reply)
Have fun Rubberduck
Travel safely.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:48, Reply)
Have fun Mr. Duck!
T'was a pleasure to meet you this weekend :)

Catch you later.

EDIT: Mornin' Mrs L!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:49, Reply)
Morning Kaol
So where do I get a Monkey Butler?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:51, Reply)
Er...
Get me a regular monkey and a car battery, I'll use a spot of aversion-training on it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:52, Reply)
Have fun Duckie!
My car is in for it's MOT in 5 mins. Any available fingers for crossing would be appreciated!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:54, Reply)
I've got a couple of fingers
Available for your use.
*crosses*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:54, Reply)
Morning all
I think I will spend today watching the stock market crash with morbid fascination.

Fingers crossed for the MOT though TGB.

And I am not being a butler!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:56, Reply)
Thanks guys :)
If it fails I think I will have to buy a bike as I can't afford to get anything fixed on it!

Monkey you don't have to be a waiter but I do think you should dance for us.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:59, Reply)
Dancing, eh?
*grabs lorry battery and cables*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:01, Reply)
Ning to all
Howdy folks.

I'm certain that now we have monkey waiters then it's only a short time until we get the Breville monkeys told in the prophesies Ross Noble.

I have a trip to the dentist in 1 1/2 hours, a metric fuck tonne of revision for my exam tomorrow and a severe lack of energy.

Oh cock it.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)
@ Kaol
No need for a car battery.

I hear that the flash unit out of an old camera with 2 AA batteries gives quite a kick!
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:04, Reply)
This one isn't mine
But I do have one the same!



A fez wearing monkey on a spring. If there is anything better than this I want to know what it is.

*edit* *Is pleased that 'metric fuck tonne' seems to have entered the B3TA vernacular*
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)
N-R
Very true, but we're looking at long-term use-age.

The flash capacitor would only be good for a few high-jolt charges.

The lorry battery can be run through thin copper wires located in the pain centres of the brain.

Job's a good 'un.


Mrs. L, as awesome as that is, I can think of one thing better. *waves*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:06, Reply)
Ahh
I see your point.

I was going for the 'Short Sharp Shock' technique. With hindsight that was very foolish of me.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:08, Reply)
What are you waving
Kaol?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Mrs L
As pointed out by n-r, "my point" :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)
Well put it down
you don't know where it's been!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)
Wrong, I'm afraid
I know exactly where it's been :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:12, Reply)
Which
is worse?

a, Knowing where it's been
b, Not knowing where it's been

or
c, Prefer not to answer
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:14, Reply)
Ah, but
you don't know where it's going to end up if you carry on waving it about like that, surely?
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:15, Reply)
In my case
D) Knowing where it could have been.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:17, Reply)
Which is WORSE?
b) Not knowing where it's been, obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:20, Reply)
Morning all
Returned from lectures, ready to spend the rest of the day avoiding doing work. What funs.

Everyone well?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:26, Reply)
PoD
Everything is fine south of the border. Stuck at work bored and I want to go home.
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:30, Reply)
morning all
I'm a right grumpy sod today.
Little irritants building me up to be one big ball of stress.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:31, Reply)
Obviously B
That bloody rohypnol...
*Tsk*
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:32, Reply)
Bad day at Work BK?
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=D4a1z7NLnNk&eurl=http://www.careerandkids.com/bad-day-at-work/
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:33, Reply)
BK! *hugs*
I think I need a good cry but as I am at work I am going to try refrain myself!

*cries in B3taland where it doesn't matter as much*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)
G'morning all
After an exhausting weekend *waves at ducky, TGB, Kaol and Himjim*, and a day in court yesterday, I am back in work and feeling like a zombie.

Back in work = back in OT ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)
Oh GB
Don't cry!

Do you need to tell Aunty Bin about it?

*edit* A day in court Lsb, may I ask?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:35, Reply)
Hey Lab!
Feels odd calling you that, haha!

Was absolutely fantastic to meet you :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:37, Reply)
*Hugs TGB*
Don't cry!
It'll be alright

@N-R
Unfortunately can't get on youtube at work.
I'll need to remember and check that out this evening.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)
Morning Chillblanes!
It must be something in the water, I'm in a bit of a grump today as well!

But I can feel myself surfacing, so it's OK, i think.

*distributes hugs, manhugs and millionaire shortbread*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)
Ning, depraved chums.
Kaol, wtf? Another hangover? Get new friends :)

*shelters K2k6 with an umbrella*
*accepts shortbread gratefully*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)
Ooh, manhugs and shortie!
Cheers DiT

*perks up*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)
MLIAB
It's for work, I was the expert witness for a case yesterday. The guy pleaded guilty in the end, due to my evidence, but it didn't stop the defense barrister being a weasel.

I was in a side room, showing him (at his request) the files related to the indictment (which his client had just pleaded guilty to possessing). He was trying to quibble over their content, whilst I was trying to resist punching the stupid wig off his face...

Edit: Hi Kaol! It was an absolute pleasure to meet you too!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)
Clendrix...
Yeah, I can't believe I was out with some evil little man who suggested "Heroin" as a sensible cocktail.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:41, Reply)
@ Lab
Could you hit him in such a manner that the wig would spin on his head?

That would be amusing!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:41, Reply)
Tada!
A slightly portly man dressed in spandex swoops in .....

*Issues chocolate eclairs of solace to TGB*

*Manly handshakes to BK*

*Does a wee dance which in the spandex makes him look a touch camp*

And he's gone!
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)
BK
It would have made the subsequent court case rather amusing! The cops I was with would have probably testified that the barrister fell over...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)
Is it a Bird?
Yeah.
It is.
A Swan.

Ooooh...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)
Thanks BK
Aunty Bin just money issues which have lead to impressive stress levels and the inability to eat anything. I am selling my soul and applying for a second job at Asda *cries more* I am also seriously thinking I may have to sell the Marina which sucks totally.

*waves at Lab* *steals coat*

aww thanks Swan
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:44, Reply)
Kaol...
I'm not sure he's evil. He's too lovely for that. But he is extremely naughty for suggesting heroin and having no intention of joining you. Next time, it's both of you, or neither.

*realises it's only 8 hours until 'next time'*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)
@ TGB
Not the Marina!

No wonder you're having a sob!

*commiserates*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)
I think he'd
Crumple, knowing what he's like :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)
TGB
Give me my damn coat back! You're just bitter because I was somewhat sprightly Sunday morning, whilst you were a shriveled husk, a shadow of your former self, huddled in a blanket whilst muttering swear words at the world.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)
@TGB
"Asda"?! Isn't there a Tesco or Sainsbury's near you? They have better benefits. Asda are a bunch of....well, you get the gist.
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)
Kaol,
he would, most definitely. DO IT! It'll be fucking hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)
Yeah I am going to try
do everything I can to avoid having to sell the car :(

Grandpappy you were surprisingly sprightly and put us young'uns to shame

edit: Stig there are both near-ish me but Asda is with walking distance and I can't afford petrol.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:49, Reply)
Suck TGB
*hugs*

I just saw an advert on tv for a 3d spherical jigsaw. They used the phrase 'guaranteed fun will be had'. I very much doubt this is true.

Morning to Clendrix and DiT and Swan and whoever else I missed on that there list.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:49, Reply)
@ clendrix
Just realised I haven't given you a *flex* this morning.

*flex*

Job done!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)
Mornin' PoD!
TGB - *hugs* I hate money, it's the root of all evil. I'm trying to work out how to afford a move at the beginning of December.

I think Christmas this year will be in February! :(
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)
TGB
I suffered for it later though, but that's more through lack of sleep. If you hadn't called to wake me at 7, I would have stayed asleep! In the end, I was too tired to drive, but was also not looking forward to waking up at 5am the following morning.

Anyway, enough of the grandpappy jibes!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)
@TGB
Dont sell the car!!
No matter how much money trouble, find another way.

I've got a 76' clubman sat at my folks house. It's not been on the road in about 4 years. I started the thing last week it had been about a year since the last time. Got it going with a can of engine start that was older and rustier than the car, and it purred like a cat!

One day I will have the time and spare cash to get it going again.

Ive come soo close to selling it off but cant bring myself to do it. I love that car.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)
Hi PoD
I suspect that there's an asterisk after that sentence which directs you to a sub clause stating "By the word fun, what we actually mean is that you will experience frustration only known by 14 yr old ginger boys with that 'special' milky smell about them. You will become consumed by this most futile and anticlimactic of past times. You will die alone clutching that final piece."

Sounds great ....... Do Argos sell it?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)
Hello Poddly
I bet you get that jigsaw.

Edit: BK! I knew there was something missing!
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)
@TGB
Shame. Working at Sainsbury's or Tescos would probably be more tolerable.

Well, hope you get a job and it isn't as bad as I think. :O)
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:55, Reply)
Yay!
clenderton hugs!

*pleased*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:55, Reply)
I dunno if Argos do
And I don't really want to find out.

Do I really come across as being that sad Clendrix?

edits - Student loan day!! Yes!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Ohhhhh BK and Clendrix hugs.
*gets in the middle*

*yays*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Believe me never right
I don't want to sell the car especially as it is MOT'd and everything. Also I have put a new interior in. However it probably needs a new engine and exhaust and is worth a fair bit and nothing else I own would generate as much instant revenue.

Sorry for waking you lab!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)
Sorry PoD
No offence meant ..... I just see those 10,000 3D jigsaws of something random like Mohammed Al Fayed's face and think "How? How can anyone ever complete that?".
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:00, Reply)
*squeezes bits of Lusty*
*squeezes bits of BK*

*happies*

PoD - no of course not! I'm teasing.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:00, Reply)
oOH!
I like this!

*rotates*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)
Teasing like a meanie
I re-recorded Kaol's song at the weekend. It proved to be much harder than I originally anticipated.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
Ach
I've been too busy this morning to participate in the nonsensediscussions going on here.

How goes it, people?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:05, Reply)
@DiT
I know it sounds remarkably scroogeish but this year we've pretty much cancelled Christmas.

Me and our lass are doing £10 max on each other, pressies for the Grannies and that's pretty much it. The folks and rest of the families are on board as well.

We've got everything we need and so has everyone else so we're sitting it out this year.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)
Hey K2
I'm demonstrating my arousal in a Lust/clendrix sandwich!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:08, Reply)
Yeah,
You did re-record it! It's a nice cover, although it's a bit of an odd song to do :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)
@BK
I see your point.

Pfft.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:11, Reply)
Odd is my forte
Have you forgotten about the song all about fajitas?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:11, Reply)
@Swanny
Doesn't sound Scroogish at all, really. I really like Christmas, but I don't have to have presents to make it a good one.

We'll find a way, even if we only have a stocking to open and some crackers to pull and a lovely bird to eat, it'll be grand.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:11, Reply)
@K2
Pfft!

And it's rotating.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:11, Reply)
*hugs* TG
I know what it's like.
Asda shouldn't be too bad I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)
Just been scanning the local rag
and immediately my eyes were drawn to this:
www.thestar.co.uk/news/Mr-Gay-UK-39ate-flesh.4565075.jp

I mean, really. What the fuck?

*edit* Off to the dentists now ....... See y'all later :)
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)
That song was amazing!
We'll have to do a song together one day :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:14, Reply)
I am quietly proud of that song
And when I say quietly, I mean normally.

A collaboration would be quite something I imagine.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:16, Reply)
"lovely bird to eat"
made me officelol I have been spending too long on here...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:16, Reply)
BOOLLLLLOOOOOOCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSS
I don't want to be at work! Nobs!

Who's coming to the park for a smoke with me?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)
Smoke?
*sighs*
I've not had one yet today...

Two hours...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)
I've just found out
That the Witch Bosses wife will not be in today.

Means an office to myself and not having to listen to her regurgitating what she saw on TV last night.

Woo Yay.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)
Clendrix
I'll come to the park, but I don't smoke. I just want to get out of the office ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)
I'll join
in with a smokey joe.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:24, Reply)
Labs
Wouldn't that be nice!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:24, Reply)
I still feel kinda bad
For giving rubberduck his first ever cigarette on Saturday night :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:25, Reply)
Kaol
So you stand here waving 'things' about and giving people their first ever cigarettes?

Are you some kind of porn, knife obsessed Nick O'Teen (only for people of a certain age).
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)
You should feel worse
about giving him his second one as well
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)
Kaol
You're an evil, evil man.

But a good laugh too, so Hell will be a blast for you ;)

I've just remembered that, not only did TGB insist on calling me grandpa, but her friend called me a manwhore. My drunken mind must have glossed over the bullying, but now the plaster has been ripped off. Leamington is full of nasty people.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)
Nicely put, Badger.


Nick O'Teen! I forgot about him!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)
If its any consolation
I heard he did buy his own first box so your not to blame there.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)
Mornin chaps and chapesses
How did Rubberduck's first cigarette happen?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)
*cringes*
That's a fair point, TGB.

Mrs. Bin, I don't think that I'm porn-obsessed. Quite the opposite in fact.

Knives though... Woo!

Well, just ask Clendrix what I showed her under the table in the pub last night :p

EDIT: n-r... I wouldn't feel so bad if it wasn't a Lucky Strike :|
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:35, Reply)
Ok Kaol
I take back the porn obsessed.

You were 'waving' things around earlier though.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:37, Reply)
Oh yes, under the table.
I was actually quite impressed!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:38, Reply)
Nah...
I was waving 'things' around :p
Slight difference...

Anyway, your brain assumed "penis".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:38, Reply)
Mornings all
I've only just woken up and I can't stop yawning. Grrrr.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:41, Reply)
Lab we are lovely really!
And I did say to her that you didn't look the man whore type!

Will you ever venture to Leamington again?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:41, Reply)
He might if I'm there :p
I was lovely to him.

Apart from when I carried him around the kitchen...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)
@ Swan Vesta
Puts another spin on having a good piece of meat in his gob I guess...
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Morning (just)
Clen how could you have forgotten Nick O Teen? He was Supermans arch enemy (sorta)

How is everybody today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Hi Doktor!
TGB: I might venture back, one day!
Kaol: Even while being carried, I could feel your love for me. It left a bruise.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Dok
Not much room in my brain, I'm afraid. Beer has washed most of the cells away.

Please note my sig!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)
:|
My love for you left you bruised?
*shakes head*
Wouldn't be the first time...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)
Mornin V and HDL
Today I shall be mostly ... procrastinating.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)
Lab is it
going to be when I am not in Leamington? *cries*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:50, Reply)
Right
I'm going to work.

Be good.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:50, Reply)
* bees good *

(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)
TGB
Of course not! What makes you think that? Just because you kept calling me old... all the time...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)
You can't be that old
You were decent at Gears Of War :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:53, Reply)
Kaol
You're too kind ;)

Oh, Apple Lucozade is yum.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
This isn't the
Apple Lucozade in my head?

It really exists?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)
Lab it
was a term of endearment! How you are so wise and worldly! And have an awesome taste in coats!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)
Mmm...
apple lucozade and cheesy hula hoops.

*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:57, Reply)
Drixy
I would never force a lady to put their finger into my hole! What kind of man have you taken me for?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)
Kaol
It really exists, I'm drinking it now!

Unless solipsism really is the truth, and that as a figment of your imagination I can still enjoy tasty apple Lucozade. If that's the case, then yes, it is all in your head.

It still means that it's a tasty beverage.

TGB: Thank you for your coat-based compliments! It was certainly a nice surprise to be accosted at the door of the pub to be told that my coat was cool!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:01, Reply)
Hi Lab
I get the whole 'old' things as well from some of our group.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Just wait till you all get to my age!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:04, Reply)
Dok...
the last time I saw you, you were at the bar trying to make a flesh tunnel and shouting, 'Go on! Go on! You know you want to!'

You're very naughty.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:04, Reply)
Hmm...
Unless you're just in my head too.
*shrugs*

I think I spent the weekend with you, and TGB and Jim.

But I don't know.


(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)
Dok
I wouldn't be so offended if it wasn't for the act that I was about 1 year older than the next eldest there!

Kaol: You think but don't know... that's pretty much Philosophy and Theology summed up right there ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)
Yeah we got all excited at seeing you again
and leapt out of our seats and ran over to you.

*deep breath* I have to phone the garage - everyone cross everything!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)
Drixy
Yes I am, very.

Lab that makes no sense then, maybe you just look older to them all.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:07, Reply)
Labs
Or they're just very rude.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Herr Dok
I think they were struggling to find something to mock me for, when confronted with my awesomeness they only had a 1-3 year age gap to attack ;)

*crosses fingers, toes, legs, arms and eyes for TGB*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Lab
What can I say, I'm incisive and intuitive :p

*crosses self for TGB's car*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
My car passed. That is a weight off the old shoulders :) *glees*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
TGB
Woohoo! Well done :D
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:11, Reply)
Excellent :D
How were your brushes?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:11, Reply)
Woo and Yay
TGB's car passed it's MOT.

Lab they could not mock the awesomeness. I like that.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:13, Reply)
Woo for TGB
That's good news!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Thanks guys :)
Bush must have been good enough to pass at least :p

Right I am off to go pick it up then I may try eat something! Catch yas on the flipside.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)
I've got 40 minutes
'Til lunch.
Goddammit, I'm gonna end up killing and eating someone if I don't get a cigarette soon.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:20, Reply)
I didn't smoke either!
Worked instead :(

But I'm off now - hurray!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:26, Reply)
In the name of buggery fuck
Every time I get a minute free some bugger comes in to see me.

But I'm munching my lunch now.

Good news on the car, TGB.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:27, Reply)
Boo!
15 minutes til I can get a cig.

I'm gagging!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:27, Reply)
Good News TGB!
Ive just discovered that I have no rizzla left. No emergency ones in the car either.

So I will have to drive to the nearest shop, withdraw 10 pounds from machine and buy a 25p pack of rizzla. GGrrr

Got 3 fulls packs at home too
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:28, Reply)
@N-R
That's hugely annoying!
I think I've got enough to see me through.

I always have about 3 full packs at any one time.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)
Don't you have 25p lying around, never-right?
I'm sure that if I rummaged in my desk drawers, round the lab and in my car I could come up with a pound or so of loose change.

Seems a shame to break a tenner.

/Scot
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)
n-r
Just ask someone in the office nicely :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:31, Reply)
K2, shush
You're making us all look bad!

*is not frugal*
*wipes arse with tenner*
*undoes stereotype*

*cries at loss of tenner*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:33, Reply)
Au contraire, BK
Thrift is an admirable virtue in these troubled times in the financial world.

I just wish that the bloody government had realised that a while back. And the banks.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:34, Reply)
Too true.
Thrift FTW!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:36, Reply)
I am alone in the orifice
Otherwise I would have nicked a few rizzla off my peers.

I may be able to rustle up a few bob if I have a rummage in the car.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:39, Reply)
If you're alone in the office
There's nothing to stop you rooting through everyone's drawers :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:41, Reply)
Vent!
Why the hell does the utter incompetence of some clients become my emergency? One 'simple, but urgent question', that I'd answered two years ago, now means I have to drop everything and run around to sort something out, just because they have neglected to bring a CD with them.

*goes into the forest to punch-dance out his rage*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:42, Reply)
@Kaol
I have!!!
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:44, Reply)
Ooooh...
Like some kinda of magical, angry forest pixie.

People are rubbish. Fact.
Just plant some "sensitive material" on their hard drives, then call the police anonymously.

EDIT: n-r, that's terrible, how could you? I'm shocked :|
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:45, Reply)
I have to go to the bank
and it's pissing with rain still.

I think I may withdraw my cash and reinvest it in the Bank of Under the Mattress. It'll be safer.

Edit@Kaol - the trouble with planting sensitive material on someone's hard drive, is that you have first to download it yourself. I don't think I'd have the guts to try that!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:45, Reply)
Hooray!
I have just written 1400 words in just over an hour.

Well done me.


As you were.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:49, Reply)
Lab
That's a lol at 'punch-dance' I might have to try that myself.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:49, Reply)
Well
You know how it is.

I was hoping of all hopes there may have been a stray singular rizz kicking about.

But no nothing
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)
Well done you!
have a click :S
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)
OITP
I was influenced by the film 'Hotrod', a hilariously silly film that I heartily recommend!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:51, Reply)
Chickenlady
It's nice to know someone's doing well today work-wise - go you!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:52, Reply)
@Lab
I now have an image of you prancing about Kevin Bacon stylee. Don't let John Lithgow keep you down!

*Footlooses*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:52, Reply)
Haven't seen Hotrod
Is the dance a bit like Elvis doing his karate moves?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:54, Reply)
SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKING time!
Woo!

*runs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:54, Reply)
Lusty & OITP
The dance is EXACTLY like Kevin Bacon, only a bit more silly ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:55, Reply)
Oh yes....work, work, work
But the thing is that now I've done 1400 words I don't need to do any more until tomorrow, woohoo!

I should however do some other stuff.

But I am being very productive today. First time in a few weeks.


it won't last
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:55, Reply)
@Lab
Flashdance was the one with the bird who was also a welder. Footloose was the one with Kevin Bacon.

Do you not know anything about 80's dance themed films?!

Edit: Hmmm you edited. Now I look silly and slightly angry. :(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 12:59, Reply)
*opens can of Jackie Chan on your faces*
Pow!

I am currently masticating vigourously.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:01, Reply)
I return
Dentist is charging me £84 for a filling. The tooth scraping, cotton wad handing shyster! Praise be for all the overtime I signed up for ... This plus a stag do has fannied up my chances of squirreling away any extra pennies.

On the upside Morrison's had a shed load of reduced Felix & Whiskas pouches for 9p each! Kitteh shall be nomming like a motherfucker tonight.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:03, Reply)
Lusty
I apologise profusely! I can edit my error back in, if you like?

(I know nothing about 80s dance movies, to my eternal shame!)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)
Labs!
Naughty and swift editing? Please don't pick up habits from Kaol. It's a very bad idea...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:07, Reply)
@Lab
It's fine, you're forgiven.
;)
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:08, Reply)
*hangs head in shame*
I edited mere seconds after posting, hoping i'd got away with my inaccuracy. Wanderlust was swift in her sniper-like shootdown though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:09, Reply)
*noms soup*
£84? Wow when I went to the dentist I was offered £60 nice white fillings or £6 "evil mercury" fillings. Bring on the mercury said I. I think he then "discovered" another two teeth that "needed" fillings to get me back for being cheap :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:10, Reply)
That Lusty!
She's like a ninja.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:12, Reply)
@Lab
They don't call me Swifty McGee for nothing!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:13, Reply)
I know
A touch steep but he's recently changed over from the NHS to private practice and seeing as I'm on his books already and NHS dentists are rarer than hens teeth ........

"Ah, Hello Swan Vesta. If you'll just lube up and bend over I'll not be a minute ...... A reach around you say? That'll be £97 extra".

The robbing swines.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:14, Reply)
Ah, crap!
I suspect I need fillings but at that price they can feck off!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:17, Reply)
@ Lusty
Can I call you Swifty McGee?

I was hoping for Breasty Mahoney!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:19, Reply)
Come here, Tightly!
*fills*
*fills him good and proper*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:22, Reply)
@ clendrix
Are you having another horny phase?

*uncoils hose*

;)
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)
*shakes*
I feel so... so... dirty!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)
@BK
You can call me whatever you like ;)

Edit: WITHIN REASON!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:26, Reply)
I do hope not!
I'm rather busy with work.

I do feel better now Tightly is filled.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)
*returns from walk down town*
Bloody hell it's a crap day out there.

I'm soaked. In fact, possibly even wetter than wanderlust in a room full of bearded men.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)
@ Lusty
Chesty LaRue it is:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:41, Reply)
Woo!
I'm into positive Karma today!

QOTW story to follow.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:43, Reply)
BK
I think LustyBum is a good one.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:44, Reply)
@K2k6
I don't think that's possible...You've never seen me in a room full of beardy men!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:47, Reply)
@Lusty
You should go to Up Helly Aa in Shetland in January. The main squad of men, called the Jarl Squad, who set fire to the galley, have huge beards and dress up as Vikings.

*prepares sand to put on floor*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:51, Reply)
Here you go:
www.b3ta.com/questions/nicethings/post264306

My nice thing for the day.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:53, Reply)
@K2k6
I just googled them.
I'm whimpering slightly now. I don't know if I could take all of that beardyness! I fear I wouldn't know which one to rub first. It might all get a bit much.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:54, Reply)
@ Lusty
Stay away from Mosques!

We don't want any religious wars sparking from your rampant pogonophilia!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 13:57, Reply)
If Kaol is posting a blatant plug...
...then so am I

www.b3ta.com/questions/nicethings/post264239
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)
Afternoon all
is everyone good? I am, now that I'm home. And drying off.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:03, Reply)
@Lusty
Here's one I took of the Jarl Squad in 2007.

Prepare to exude...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:04, Reply)
Hello TWW
It's a bit drizzly in Harrogate too.
Not that that matters to me, stuck at my desk:(
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:08, Reply)
It's not raining here
It will later, I'm sure.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:10, Reply)
I got wetter than I should have
(which sounds a bit wrong, actually!) because a fuckwit in a 4x4 went through a big puddle and soaked me. I is not happy. Ignorant git.

I hope his car breaks down.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:16, Reply)
*giggles*
I just had to phone an architect called Derek Allwood.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:18, Reply)
Ahola hah
How's it going?

I'm just back from the opticians and she put iodine in my eyes. Now everything is orange. I think I've been tangoed.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:21, Reply)
*exudes lady jizz*
Cor K2k6 they look all of the beardy goodness!

*appreciates*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:22, Reply)
Lusty....
....you frighten me.
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)
Oh, it's gone all grey and yucky...
I think we're about to get drenched.



But I see lusty's already there!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:26, Reply)
TGB
I had to phone a Solicitors called Winterbottom & Allcock. How the receptionist kept a straight face, I'll never know.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:26, Reply)
Excuse me
Are people appreciating beards in the vicinity?
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:28, Reply)
Yeah.
It's Beardy Tuesday.
Did you not get the memo?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)
*slips in lady jizz*
*puts down sawdust*

I think it's time for K2k6's Rubbish Joke as we haven't had one yet today. Actually, this one is particularly rubbish, and not really that funny. I'll think up a better one for later.



In the middle of an international gynaecology conference, an English and a French gynaecologist are discussing various cases they've recently treated.

French gynae: Only last week, zer was a woman ooh came to see me, and 'er cleetoris - eet was like a melon.

English gynae: Don't be absurd, it couldn't have been that big. My god, man, she wouldn't have been able to walk if it was.

French gynae: Aaah, you English, zare you go again, always talkeeng about ze size. I was talkeeng about ze flavour.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:30, Reply)
Al
you're assuming I did keep a straight face. The mute button was invented for such calls ...


Beardy Tuesday?

*puts on skirt, does handstand*


K2k6: 5/10, not up to your usual standards. Don't you know the one about the French fighter pilot? Much better.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:30, Reply)
Goddammit
Late as always. I caught some of the late Star Trek TNG double-bill they on BBC2 Friday for sad geek losers ¬_¬

Anyhoo, I was astounded at how similar mine looked to Will Riker's.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:31, Reply)
^Pfft!
Zut alors! Je like zat!*


*Perfect French.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:31, Reply)
Oh!
That's a nasty gash you've got there on your chin, TWW!

Edit - No. Do tell us it, Witchy.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:31, Reply)
DJ
Riker?
Nah, you look more like Jesus :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)
@ TWW
Well, er...

*doesn't know where to look*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)
k2k6
OMG, the tears. That's classic.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)
Nasty?
no wonder you're not married, K2k6.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:33, Reply)
Oh dearie me.
I loathe beards. Call me "Captain Clean shaven"! :O)

*edit* DiT The french for "I like that" is J'aime ca. The "c" on "ca" should have that tail on it, but I don't know how to do it.
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:34, Reply)
Bless you my children
Trombone? No. I'm very good at giving oboe instruction though.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:34, Reply)
'Beardy Tuesday' This is the day that you're allowed to post on
The Main Beard
The Talk Beard
and
The Links Beard
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)
@TWW
Heh! You really wouldn't want it on your chin though, would you?

I've got a better joke. It'll appear shortly.

*types furiously*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)
@Al
Pink.

I wonder if anyone will get the mucky reference....?
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:38, Reply)
Just the colour of mine
A kind of turquoise and orange stripe mixture. I blame my parents.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:38, Reply)
Pierre, the French fighter pilot
is out on a date with a gorgeous blonde lady he's only just met. He takes her for a romantic picnic, with each course accompanied by the finest French wine. With Brandy to finish the meal.

She asks why so much wine, and is told,

"I am Pierre, ze French fighter pilot. I must have ze finest wines and ze finest foods."

The romantic meal and copious wine do the trick and Pierre is getting lucky. After an extended session of foreplay, he asks the lucky lady if he can go down on her. She agrees. Pierre picks up the bottle of brandy and liberally douses her ladygarden, then sets fire to it.

The astonished lady demands to know what in the name of buggery fuck he's playing at.

"I am Pierre, ze French fighter pilot. When I go down, I go down in flames!"
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:39, Reply)
Right, here's a better effort than my previous one
Two young brothers, one 7 and one 5, were up in their room one morning. The elder says, "Listen, you know how daddy always uses bad words, but tells us we're not allowed to say them? I think we should try it and see what happens!"

His brother thoroughly approves of the idea, so the elder one decides they'll go down to breakfast, and he'll swear first.

At the breakfast table, their mother asks them what they'd like to eat. "I'll have some of that Weetabix shit", says the 7 year old. His mother is outraged, and slaps the little boy on the backside before shouting at him never to do that again and sending him back to his room as further punishment.

The younger brother is watching the other being punished severely. The mother then turns to him, and asks what he'd like for breakfast.

"I'm not sure", he replied, "But if that's what happens, I'm not going to have fucking Weetabix!"
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:43, Reply)
Yo Stiggy
I knew that. I was using my English French, which is putting French sounding words in to sentences and then speaking VERY LOUDLY.

If that doesn't work, rip the fucking place apart.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)
Al
I knew there was a bit I'd missed, but couldn't remember what it was. And I know bugger-all about wine so couldn't have made it up.

My idea of a good wine is one that doesn't have a screw-top lid .....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)
@ al, TWW
And he wouldn't go down in flames as, being French, he would have surrendered.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)
@ BK
how very naughty




How very true




Edit: al, all it has to be is white, fizzy and alcoholic. And with less than 10% anti freeze.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:49, Reply)
@ al
Exactly. May not be quite as funny as the original.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:51, Reply)
@al
Well with a broken nose at least you'll have a constant reminder of me on your face. I mean your nose will remind you of me, not that you'll remember me on your face.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:52, Reply)
@Al
I agree that Chilean wines are very good. However, if buying less expensive wines, be careful with Cabernet Sauvignon. Cheap Cabs can be pretty astringent.

Better to go for Merlot if you're only spending a few quid on a bottle.

Personally my favourites are Australian Shiraz and Durif. But that's because I like wine you can chew!

Edit@Lusty - if you'd ever been on my face, I'm sure I'd remember the occasion!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)
DiT
Sorry dude. I'll know better for future reference. :O)
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:54, Reply)
If we're talking inexpensive red wines
I've found you can't go wrong with a Montepulciano d'Abruzzo. You can pick up a bottle from between £2.50 and £5, and it's lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)
@ K2
I like Yellow Tail Shiraz, it's lovely.
And I agree with you on Chilean Merlot.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)
So
how much anti freeze is in them? I'm kind of used to the stuff now.

any recommendations for a cheap white that won't do double duty as drain cleaner/paint stripper?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 14:59, Reply)
Good whites?
Pinot Grigio or Chardonnay are usually good bets.

@Al - Laithwaite's sell Harman's Road Cab Sauv from Western Oz. It's rather nice.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:00, Reply)
Hello all
I know nothing about red wine as I don't drink it so I shall wow you all with a fact instead.

Mick Hucknall owns his own vineyard on the slopes of Mount Etna. His wine is called Il Cantante.

Now if one of you could find some, drink it and let me know how it is then I can add a review to the end of that fact!

Edit - TWW - White and fizzy are pretty much my only requisites for wine as well!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:03, Reply)
TWW
If you can get it, try Devil's Rock.

OK, so it's German, and OK, it's a Riesling (the combination of which would usually have me running to the hills screaming "BUT IT'S SHIT! ALL GERMAN WINE IS SHIT!"), but by crikey is it lovely and a snip at £4.99 a bottle.

Otherwise, if you can get a White Rioja (usually around a tenner for an average one), you're made.

Other than that, anything really from New Zealand's North Island is a winner (if you can spalsh out £20 go for a Cloudy Bay then go for it, although it's a bitch to get hold of).

California is starting to churn out some very drinkable whites now, just avoid their Chenins. And two buck chuck. NEVER drink two buck chuck.

Finally, for a cheeky red, try a Chilean Tarapaca. Lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)
Al
I thought you were only allowed to drink Lambrini if you were a pregnant teenager? I could maybe manage the pregnant bit, but I'll never see my teens again (thank god!)
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)
Hey Lucy *hugs*
I bet he charges for it.
Is it Italian for 'Talentless Ginger Fucksock'?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:05, Reply)
Lambrini?
That isn't wine!
It's perry.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:07, Reply)
@Kaol
If by 'perry' you mean 'piss'...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:08, Reply)
Hi there LVP :)
How are you today?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:09, Reply)
Hi BK *hugs back*
TWW - my nan used to drink Lambrini but she was diabetic and wasn't allowed it so she would hide it all over the house. She was more teenager than I was!

DiT - Ooooh, White Rioja. Nom. My dad knows lots about wine and always lets me try it.

When I can't afford nice wine I buy cheap wine and put a dash of squash in it.
Don't knock it till you've tried it.

Edit - Hi Lab. I'm bloody miserable today. I have a stupid cough and have had another "thanks but no thanks" phone call about a job today. That's officially now every single job I've applied for I've been turned down for!

On the plus side, I'm making sweet potato curry tonight.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:09, Reply)
@LvP
Are you still looking for work? It's just a job was emailed to me working in North Gloucester as an office worker.
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:12, Reply)
random thought
my hair is now long enough to flick over my top lip Fu Manchu stylee - does this mean I'm half way to joining in Beardy Tuesday?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:13, Reply)
@ TWW
Combine it with the handstand and go for the goatee look!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:15, Reply)
LVP
Sorry to hear that :( I hope something comes up for you asap! *sends good "job-getting" vibes to LVP*

TWW: I suppose that qualifies you! *strokes his chin beard thoughtfully*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:16, Reply)
@TWW
DO IT!

*strokes beard*

There was just an old lady in the newsagent who had a full-on beard that would have put the Blessed's to shame!

@ Lucy: That's really shitty hun. I'm going to send you a gaz with some contact details on.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:16, Reply)
Stig
Thats a lovely thought but I'm in Wiltshire which would mean a whole county drive to get to north gloucester.
But thank you anyway!

Thanks LabM, I hate to moan too much so I always try and think of a positive.
Other positive news - I may re-paint my toenails later.

scraping that barrel for positives!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:17, Reply)
Al
I would like to grow up and be Queen of Sweets.

If not, then a multilingual office job will do me.

If not that, then ANY bloody admin/office monkey job.

If not that, burlesque dancer it is.

Can anyone lend me some nipple tassles?!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:18, Reply)
Nope, sorry
no pictures. I can't make the Fu Manchu look stay put without looking like the lovechild of Tina Turner and Mick Jagger ....

Nipple tassles? Moi? Al, that was supposed to be our secret .....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:20, Reply)
@L:vP
Worth a shot. I didn't want the job. :O)
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)
LVP
I haven't got any nipple tassles, but you can use my mum's curtain ties if you like - very similar.


*edit* unless......that IS my mum's nipple tassles and she uses them to tie her curtains up.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:25, Reply)
@ Lucy
What about official Fruit Pastilles taster?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:32, Reply)
Where's K2k6?
He's a nipple expert.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)
OMG BK
I spaffed just thinking of that job.
You'd probably have to rinse your mouth out with gin or wine inbetween sweets.
Probably.
If I made the rules you would do anyway
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:36, Reply)
@LvP
I'm in a similar boat, I recently got down to the last couple of applicants for a prestigious job I was after. I was sure I had it in the bag.

Just one of those things, eventually someone will decide that you'll fit in nicely in their organisation and you'll be hired.

Sweet potato curry? Don't suppose you would be so kind as to post the recipe?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:36, Reply)
Did someone mention nipples?
Sorry, I've been busy again.

*goes back to work*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:37, Reply)
PJM
I will have a think about the recipe and send it to you. I normally just make things up as I go along so I'll try and remember what's worked and what hasn't.

And thanks for the words of support!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)
I have to think about dinner
we're having sausages, and peas, and carrots. All I have to do is decide what to do with the potatoes?

Boiled or mashed (with cheese & onion) or chips?

Vote now ......
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:40, Reply)
MASH!
End of debate, the King has spoken.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:42, Reply)
MASH!!ONE!ELEVEN!!1!
With a smidge of mustard stirred in!

All of the yummy!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:43, Reply)
MASH!
I made chorizo and parmesan potato cakes today with yesterdays leftover mash.
They were nom.

And everyone loves mash. it rules!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:45, Reply)
Mmmmm
leaning towards mashed, but they're new potatoes, Maris Pipers, and they really taste best when boiled ....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:45, Reply)
Whispers...
...chips
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:47, Reply)
Afternoon
Mash is the finest of the "potato products".

I myself will be having a chicken pasanda tonight.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:48, Reply)
It's mash
with onion. Witchlets have spoken ....

bye for now.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:50, Reply)
afternoon all
how are we today?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:51, Reply)
*crumples to ground under al*
what a lovely thing to say!

I might write a little story about it on the main qotw page. Or I might not. To describe the moment would be to spoil it. Or something.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:57, Reply)
Hello HLT!
Have I missed something about the tiny shorts?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:04, Reply)
Hey HLT
*hug*

How are your tiny shorts?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:05, Reply)
@ al
On occasion, if it's a monster sneeze, I sometimes shit myself, but i don't think that's what you're referring to.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:08, Reply)
hey Boss, LabM
Well, apparently, according to al, I am perpetually clad in these tiny pink shorts he thinks I'm wearing, and nothing else.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:09, Reply)
Al
That's either your brain squishing so hard against the interior of your skull from the sneezy-pressure that your smell centre brain bit is being compressed, or you have an errant jelly baby in your sinus.

Trust me I'm a doctor.*









*under the new definition of 'Doctor' as 'pissed off former biologist'
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)
@Al
I don't know. I often thought it was pollen, but I doubt there's much in the air today...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)
HLT
My my, that is an interesting mental image!

(to make that sound less creepy, imagine Morgan Freeman saying it. His voice pleases me.)

NB: Yes, I did nick that idea from an XKCD comic
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:12, Reply)
@ al
it's tiny particles of cake. if you eat cake too fast, some of it stays behind until you sneeze. then you get a little taste of it when you do. lovely.

edit@LabM - I'm afraid that just made it more creepy. Unless you were talking about penguins which I don't think you were.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:12, Reply)
@ al
you may be right. although a tank is cool so I would like to do that please.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:30, Reply)
@ Tulip
Shall I appear in Kelso in a tank? tThen you can have it.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:32, Reply)
@ BK
Oooh yes please! That would be awesome!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:33, Reply)
Will do
*may be a fish tank*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:38, Reply)
Where did everyone
go?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:45, Reply)
I'm still here!
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:46, Reply)
Wahey
my two favouritest b3taladies*

*apart from the other lovely b3taladies who are also all of my favouritest.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:48, Reply)
I didn't go, I'm just being quiet
ssshhhh
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:49, Reply)
byebye al!
have a lovely evening with mrs al!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:52, Reply)
I'm still aroond!
Until now.

Hometime for me.
Later peeps

*hugs all round*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:52, Reply)
g'night al
hello to mrs al
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:52, Reply)
bye bye al
Give the mrs a kiss from me.

Edit: Bye bye BK!!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:53, Reply)
Bye Beeks!
See you soon!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:54, Reply)
Is it
pub time yet????
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:56, Reply)
bye Boss!
ooh pub.

I could just do with a G&T/pint/vat of wine.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:57, Reply)
G&T
Sounds like a very good idea! I'll have a large one with a wedge of lime please.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 16:59, Reply)
I'm still here
For another 30 mins at least. Just been running around like the proverbial fly, so looking forward to home time!

Edit: Hands out the pints of G&T with slices of lime.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:02, Reply)
ooh, lovely!
thanks LM!

*glugs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:05, Reply)
Yay Gin!
Cheers Lab you lovely man!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:06, Reply)
I have to visit two pubs tonight.
One at 6.30pm, the other at 8pm. Woe is me.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:07, Reply)
I have no sympathy for you, clendrix.
Indeed I don't.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:11, Reply)
Oh Clendrix.....
It's a hard life isn't it?

*sooths*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:11, Reply)
It's all so terribly stressful...
:)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:15, Reply)
*gulps his imaginary G&T*
8 more minutes, then i'm outta here!

Maybe, just maybe, I'll treat myself to a real G&T. I think I've been good enough to deserve one.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:23, Reply)
@Lab
I think I'll join you for that real life G&T.
Cheers!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:24, Reply)
Right, my thirst has got the better of me.
I am going to leave a full 3 minutes early!

I am such a rebel.

Take care all, see you tomorrow!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:27, Reply)
anyone still here?
Or have you all gone home?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:42, Reply)
Hello Mrs Bin
I'm still in my office for the time being. Did you see what Gilgamesh did to your home-sweet-home sign? It's been violated!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:51, Reply)
I'm still here
Got Gladiator on DVD and a pint of Old Tom - Trying to commit some of the revision notes to memory and it's like pouring water into fishnet stockings.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:52, Reply)
I did see that
Clendix.

Why can't they just fuck off back to talk?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 18:01, Reply)
Hello, all.
Am I still a pariah? Or will someone talk to me?
(The Stig, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 18:09, Reply)
Hey folks
Back home now. Think I'll pop an evening thread up, as this computer is taking ages to load.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 18:09, Reply)
I'm talking to you Stig
I'm just a bit fed up with some people who think it's fun to come here and break things.

How was your day? Did you have your interview?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 18:10, Reply)
I'll see you there then
BK

*waits*
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 18:12, Reply)

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