Adverts.
I saw an advert the other day. It said, basically, "Some bacteria can live in LAVA! Fucking LAVA! Can your kitchen cleaning spray kill bacteria that live in LAVA? Then you need to buy OUR kitchen cleaning spray!" followed by the same "kills 99.9% of bacteria" claim that every kitchen cleaning spray since 1950 has made, and suspiciously no mention of specific lava-dwelling varieties.

Bacteria than live in lava aren't going to be able to live in me. Or, indeed, my kitchen. There isn't any lava in my kitchen anyway. If there was, I strongly suspect that the presence of bacteria in this lava wouldn't be my main concern. And even if there WAS lava in my kitchen, AND I was worried about bacteria that might be living in it, Marigolds don't come in asbestos so there's fuck all I could do about it anyway, cleaning spray or no cleaning spray.

Which adverts have wound you up recently?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:10, 127 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

GO COMPAAAAARE!
GO COMPAAAARE!

Etc ad nauseam
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:11, Reply)

They've fucking ruined webuyanycardotcom as well.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:12, Reply)

quite some achievement.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:15, Reply)

InjuryLawyers4U
Also known as 'the lying idiot brigade that's used by idiots'.

"Injury: when someone else hurts you and it's not your fault."

Here's a tip: If you're going to use definitions in your adverts, then make sure they're correct.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:13, Reply)

This one.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6rE0EakhG8

Oh yeah, and this one too:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPtpo1OuYcs
( Wanderer, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:14, Reply)

"OH
I love this car, I love it, I love the colour, I love everything about it! Can I have it? Can I?"

"Hang on, honey, is that price right?"

With Car Spotter etc etc.

Fucking Car Spotter.
( Kroney, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:14, Reply)

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C5hamvk7ZA&feature=related
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Those government scaremongering global warming adverts -
the ones with the doe-eyed child being read a traumatic eco-story about CO₂.
I was delighted to see the ASA banned them. It made me want to eat a croissant of smugness.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I let off some celebratory aerosols
whilst running all my taps at once, in celebration.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Oh, that reminds me.
There were some even more hysterical ones about the dangers of smoking hash, that used hyperactive "characters" to represent different parts of the brain and screamed about the possible dangers of smoking cannabis as if they were cast-iron certainties. They only lasted about a week before the plug was pulled.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I remember this
It's adverts like this that make me think it might be fun to get someone nearby to take drugs, then watch the hilarious consequences.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Aargh! The fake laughing that actor did
was the worst acting I have seen since Ro-land Browning on Grange Hill.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Oh
I'm with you!

I didn't realise that the asa banned them! Bonus.

I complained about those fucking lying adverts saying that speeding was a factor in 1/3 of all accidents, when their own biased reports even claimed it was far less.

The response was along the lines of, "It's ok to lie in an advert if the advert is for a good cause, so fuck off".

It's good to see they've started doing their job properly.
(dchurch bah, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 21:51, Reply)

About a month ago, there was one plastered all over every ad-break on every single radio station.
It was for graduate internships; you know, the remedial homes for folk who pissed around for 3 years and just cwammed ven scwaped a pahrsss at the end instead of actually doing any work. "Many of [them] are even paid!" Yeah, great. I'll just stick with my actual job, thanks. Seeing as I have rent to pay and that.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Homebase.
For using the most annoying fucking song ever - Peter, Bjorn and John's 'Young Folks' or 'That fucking shite song with the annoying whistling in it' as it is more commonly known.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:19, Reply)

What a fucking shit song.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I recall David Mitchell on some panel show talking about a similar thing
one advert claimed that more bacteria live on your worktops than on your toilet seat and he was all "well, that's obviously fine then"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:21, Reply)

He is a fucking hero, that man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I agree.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Rather better than 'Bottom Live', eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I see your point.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:28, Reply)

why have my trousers fallen down?
no they're up, I can see they're up. Oh, I see your point
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Hahaha
Your attempt to get a rise out of me failed... I missed that post... now don't you feel like a wally!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:54, Reply)

You missed it because you couldn't see your monitor
through the tears of embarrassment at how utterly right I am. AGAIN.

So no, not really.

*moons*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:56, Reply)

*gurns*
I don't cry over B3tans... you great big shirter!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:08, Reply)

JIMMY FUCKING HILL, LOVE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Don't chinny me!!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:14, Reply)

RECK-FUCKING-ON.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:18, Reply)

*rubs chin*
RECK-ON!!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Any Special K advert gets right on my tits.
I don’t like the one where the big muffin chases the girl, I don’t like the one where everyone seems to be pulled through the air by the forces of chocolate and I especially don’t like the one where the snack trolley lady turns into a witch!

I want to meet their marketing/advertising team and punch every single one of them in the face for creating adverts which are fucking retarded.

EDIT: No amount of red clothing and consumption of tiny cereal-based crap is going to make you thin - GO TO THE BLOODY GYM!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:22, Reply)

They do have the advantage of generally casting spectacularly hot women,
although standards seem to have slipped of late.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:25, Reply)

This is my issue
The women used to be hot, now they are 'real women' and we all know 'real women' means uggos!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:27, Reply)

cf Dove ads.
Great skin love - all 14 square miles of it....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Now now, there was, I think, one hottie among the Dove "Campaign for Real Beauty" lot.
She didn't last, sadly.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:29, Reply)

There probably was one once.
It does just depress me a little that whenever they say ‘real women’ the women they show are usually of the larger variety, because god forbid they should show a ‘real woman’ under a size 14… that wouldn’t be ‘real’ enough.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:33, Reply)

everyone knows
the only real woman is an ugly one
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I concur!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Go compare!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Show me your spondoolies!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:10, Reply)

*unzips*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Not those
I've think we've all seen enough of your pubes thanks!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I shave them off actually:
they're used to stuff cushions in the Vatican City. ACTUALLY.

FACT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:17, Reply)

I did not know that!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:20, Reply)

If you Google 'Monty's Pubes'
the top result is my Papal pube-cushion business. They're blessed: not with holy water, mind, but with the tears of violated choristers.

It's a remarkably lucrative sideline.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I'd say
Well done sir!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I can't grow 'em fast enough!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:33, Reply)

You can tell a fake woman because they don't make your drink do that Jurassic Park thing when they walk towards you.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Hehehehe

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I think
The others ate her.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Sat 27 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

"I'm not a chunky repulsive mess, I'm a REAL woman!"
So attractive women are unreal? "Real" is an inclusive term covering all dimensions of physical and mental characteristics, you dippy tart.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Sorry
This response isn't 'real' enough I'm afraid.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I am hot for the woman in the red bikini so back off ok...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Do one.
If you took her out she’d spend the whole night banging on about her diet. Also she probably wouldn’t let you put it in her… sperm is too calorific!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I learnt how to pretend to listen many years ago...
...and would be quite happy to splash on her charlies.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I could put up with that for an evening,
and once back at her place I'd follow her stupid fucking post-it note clues as far as the biscuit tin, into which I'd pack a boxing glove on a spring with "JUST HAVE A FUCKING PIE" written across the knuckles.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:38, Reply)

That is such genius I would forego having sex with her...
...to see it happen.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I am clicking this.
*click*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:42, Reply)

The Government 'my neighbour is a terrorist' advert....
..that is on the radio scares the piss out of me. 'If someone closes their curtains or looks odd...call this number and stop terrorists...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIAFHjL3ZMg
Horrific.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:24, Reply)

You have reminded me of the poorly-worded anti-terrorist ads on the tube.
Something along the lines of "If you see a suspicious package, don't ignore it, alert a member of staff or call the police." Presumably your remaining options are to steal it or panic.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:27, Reply)

alternatively
do them all:

don't ignore - tell a staff member, then a cop.

then start panicing, and once everyone else is panicing as well, steal it.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:29, Reply)

One of the funniest things Andy Parsons ever came out with:
"Long gone are the days when you could see a bag or a parcel, just left, unattended on a bus or a train carriage and think...'I'm having that.'"
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:29, Reply)

funniest only remotely amusing
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Shouldn't that be....
"Long. gone. are. the.. days. when. you. could. see. a. bag. or. a. parcel... just. left.. unattended.. on. a. bus. or.. a. train.. carriage.. and. think...'I'm.. having.. that.'"
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Hahahah
You mean

'Now.

Long. gone etc.'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:03, Reply)

so everytime
the neighbours spotty teenage son closes the curtains for a spot of self loving, you gotta call the cops? obviously people thought that one through a lot
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:27, Reply)

No, you use the special telephoto lens on your camera to watch for a bit to make sure that's what he's doing,
then when you're finished you call the police.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Of course.
He is committing the sin of onanism, and is probably thinking about sex before marriage too. HE MUST REPENT BEFORE GOD OR BURN IN HELL FOREVER.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Wow. This is not beginning to sound at all Gestapo-esque, is it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Bring back the Gestapo I say.
They get a lot of 'negative PR' but in many ways they were fucking ace.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Great sense of style too.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:36, Reply)

People always forget about their great sense of humour, as well.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:38, Reply)

History is vague on that one, isn't it?
Holocaust this..genecide that... seems to sell more copies than stories of their more frivolous side.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:42, Reply)

History is always written by the winners...
...REMEMBER THAT.


A bunch of well-dressed guys just having a good old laugh - there's no 'story' there, is there? So they have to make up a whole load of other stuff to fill column inches.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:46, Reply)

and folk songs are written by the losers.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

the
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Great stuff CHCB.
Howya?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:58, Reply)

bearing up, thanks, despite the waterlogged kidneys.
I have discovered that codeine makes me a nicer person.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Problem is, history is written by the winners.
I'm sure the germans have many humourous books about the world wars. Its just that the translations aren't popular.

Edit: Damn you Monty
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

*goose-steps*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

*irons uniform*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:00, Reply)

*irons cross*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:01, Reply)

irony

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Ve haff vays of making you larff.
For you tommy, the war is kaput. Now you can be in our production oft "The importance of being Earnest" Its verry goot.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:12, Reply)

anything with a stupid made up chemical in it
alright well they're not always made up but you just KNOW they're saying it to impress brain dead morons.

bifidus actiregularis, boswelox. COME ONNNNNN. it's just sciencey bullshit to sell yoghurts aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I always add "Contains Fraudulin"
Whenever they list other made up chemicals
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Pentapeptides
Midichlorians
( Peej, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Thing is, pentapeptides are real.
They're five amino acids joined together. Exactly what purpose they serve, I don't know; there are about 3 million ways to combine five natural amino acids, so the label "pentapeptides", while accurate, is too vague to be in any way informative.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:45, Reply)

um
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentapeptide
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Daughter and I always say 'It's because of the SCIENCE!' in deep voices whenever that happens.
Our house is a fucking riot.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:55, Reply)

pretty much all medicine ads
Tired of rushing to the bathroom? Afraid of accidents? Getting diaper rash? New prescription Stopyourleakybum could be the answer to your problems. May cause mild balding, smelly feet, swelling of the lips, yellowing tongue, you may go cross eyed from taking this medication so talk to your doctor if things start looking odd.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I hardly ever see adverts on TV.
I'm missing out on all the hatred and misery :(
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:42, Reply)

I hope you are not boasting about how little tv you watch.
My SIL does that and then spends the evening spouting about how funny Michael McIntire is and how Jeremy 'Spunkbag' Clarkson 'tells it like it is'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

No, because people who boast about things like that clearly need to achieve more.
I don't get a lot of time to watch TV; I would like nothing better than to be a slob.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:49, Reply)

You need to stay in more.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Fucking Crocodor
Crocodor fridge, crocodor spray, crocodornoonefucking cares!!

I hate adverts that are badly dubbed, like the Gilette Fusion ad and any one for Febreze or Oust.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I'm the opposite of the anti tv licence brigade
I'd pay more to get adverts off all channels. I hardly ever watch TV but when I do I never watch commercial TV. I stopped watching the Grand Prix when it moved to ITV because I couldn't stand the ads. It just lie after lie to make you buy absolute shit. Hair is dead you can't give it life, you can't stop the ageing process and wearing lynx doesn't make women want to fuck you. Interesting fact. The same advertising company that do the adverts for Lynx with all the hot girls wearing very little, also do the ads for Doves campaign for real beauty slagging off those types of advertisements. Grrrrrrr we don't let our 2 year old watch commercial channels, I think a bombardment of adverts telling you what you should be buying, eating and wearing can be far more damaging to children than all the sex and violence they show on TV. /sanctimonious arsehole
( Peej, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I also despise tv with adverts
Which is why I love watching live football (o.k so ads at half-time, but I can get TEA!!), box sets (Sopranos, The Wire, what's next?) and I sometimes watch things like that guy who's cycling the Americas on the beeb..

Sometimes I'll be watching something on More4 or whatever, the advert will come on so I'll instantly switch to a beeb channel (I think the various private channels synchronise their ad breaks!) and end up watching that!!

Hate them!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I've watched 'The Filth & The Fury'
four times in the past month, for I, too, loathe commercial programming, but unfortunately I also loathe those self-consciously 'cult' US box-set type shows as well.

*loathes everything*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:59, Reply)

you loathe the Wire?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I watched the first half of the first 'season'
or 'series' as we call them in this country, and then gave up.

I thought it was overblown, over-long and frankly dull. And that helmet who played 'McNulty' is a fucking shirter. My dislike of the show was compounded by the whole fucking world crapping on about how 'amaaaazing' it is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I liked the wire
And having seen them all I can confirm that McNulty is a fucking shirter. The guy who plays him is a pervert and tried to fuck all the extras.
( Peej, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I knew it.
Like it or not, it's not as good as 'The Filth & The Fury' though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I couldn't agree more
I hated the Wire. I watched three episodes and it was so dull, nothing happened. I don't get why everyone is jizzing over it. I've practically been lynched by all my Wire loving friends. I love Dexter and 24 and the West Wing so I was really hyped up after everyone had been raving about the Wire, which just increased my utter disappointment when fuck all had happened by the end of the third episode.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:16, Reply)

yay!
I am not bothered by them ALL. You could probably name every single US drama serial (and almost all the UK ones too) of the last fifteen years and I haven't seen any of them. I see no problem with this, although other people sometimes do...
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Good on you, and welcome to what is a disturbingly small club.
I'd rather watch The Sweeney any day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:24, Reply)

it certainly seems that way
i'd rather play guitar
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Me too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I think he's called Dominic West
and he presented HIGNFY a few months back. He was quite funny
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:30, Reply)

funny gay
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:31, Reply)

maybe so
but he's no brian blessed is he?
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I've found I'm irresistably attracted to men
who smell of cheap aftershave/deodorant*

* I may be brainwashed by a certain annoying as fuck ad campaign.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:52, Reply)

ohemgee
I saw one for axe hair stuff the other day, at a party and some dude walks into the kitchen and a super hot chick follows him and shoves him over the table and she starts grinding his ass and stroking his hair

edit: www.youtube.com/axe#p/c/F968ACD22E245FE3/1/aHQdI1QdWwM
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:02, Reply)

i have a strange feeling about this

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:04, Reply)

down there?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:08, Reply)

absolutely
just the thought of that gorgeous scent
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:11, Reply)

The Specsavers parody of them is inspired.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:04, Reply)

It is absolutely genius.

(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:28, Reply)

The Olay adverts that proclaim
"This was developed using the science of GENES!!!"

Erm, don't you mean 'genetics'? What does the science of genes actually mean? Fuck-all, is my guess.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Please note how all face cream ads say

"lines APPEAR reduced" no claim there that they actuall;y reduce lines at all, because they don't. You will get old, wrinkly and die, sorry.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:28, Reply)

It's a false claim anyway - they've actually been developed using the science of polymers and emulsions.
/may work for a personal care product manufacturer
/may have a job cooking up samples of the stuff
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Is there any truth to the claim that a large proportion of cosmetics contain "mammalian testicular extract",
as related to me buy a friend in the industry?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:45, Reply)

The oven cleaner one with the tag
"So easy even a man can do it, *simpering laugh"

I don't really care about men have the pissed taken out of them, I do object to the sanctimonious bints who went on TV saying it's just a bit of laugh, the same sanctimonious bints who would write furious letters if the advert had been so rude about women.

It's not just this advert either; it's endemic in advertising as women are seen as the gatekeepers to the family home and advertisers are scared to piss them off. I can think of numerous examples of ads where men are made to look stupid, but not one about women.


Also that ad is fucking shit and should have been aborted all over the Creative Director's face
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Women should be punched in the fucking tits.
FACT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:33, Reply)

this is a pet hate of mine as well
that and that cunt who wants to do a poo at paul's
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:34, Reply)

The little fucker looks like Michael McIntyre.
This does not endear him to me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Skipping weeeeeee

Aren't I fucking sharp
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:47, Reply)

There are a few ads out there that are brilliant though
I used to like the one for rolos with Skippy the Kangaroo, when the kid wouldn't give Skippy his last rolo so Skippy pushed him down a mineshaft.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:55, Reply)