Having been at a wedding over the weekend it got me thinking
What's the best thing you've seen happen at a wedding and what's the worst thing you've seen happen at a wedding? If you haven't been to one before here is a question especially for you...

Who would win in a fight, a squirrel with a biro or a hedgehog with a cheese grater?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:17, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You walking down the aisle (EDIT: This was the best thing)
The worst thing I saw was the bride and groom at another wedding grinding in a fat sweaty mess in the middle of the dancefloor. People were taking pictures.

Also, squirrel every time. They have the agility.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:19, Reply)

That's the worst thing you've seen at a wedding,
man you're in trouble.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:21, Reply)

That's what I was thinking! Hehe

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Misreading question lols.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:22, Reply)

You *breath*
Never *breath*
LISTEN! *breath*
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:23, Reply)

What?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:24, Reply)

*sniggers*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:27, Reply)

racist

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Bummer

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

that too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:44, Reply)

:-P
No you misunderstand... you are the bummer.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Nah, he's always the bumee.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Bumduuuuur

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:14, Reply)

OMG!!!
lol
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Your edit pleases me!
:D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:30, Reply)

HMMMM.....HUUUURRRRR.......HURRRRMMMMM....... no, no, I'm ok, it's fine.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 19:06, Reply)

THAT WOMAN TOUCHED MY BUM WHILE I WAS DANCING TO MEAT LOAF.
That's just not on.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Hahahaha bless
Only Meat Loaf should touch your bum during a Meat Loaf song, everyone knows that.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Worst thing: two of the brides family snorting coke off a sink in the toilets at the reception... classy.
Best thing: sex, or having a sureal drunken conversation with BBC weather girl Laura Tobin. (I refused to call her anything except that)
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Classy ladies!
Hehehe I'm sure BBC weather girl Laura Tobin enjoyed your conversation a great deal... was she the one you did sex on?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:23, Reply)

No she was there with her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure she thought I was a dick because I kept trying to get weather puns in conversation.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Well I'm sure if her boyfriend wasn't there
or if he was easily distracted by cake you would have totally done some sex on her.

Weather puns ftw!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I bet that rained on your parade.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:30, Reply)

how come we only saw half your wit at the bash?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I'm horribly unsure whether this is an insult or a compliment.
Edit: actually more sure now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I was calling you a half-wit

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Yup, I got that.
And in not getting it in the first place, I've proven you right.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

:-D

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I think I said "I'm going to the isobar, do you want a drink"

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:35, Reply)

surely she should've appreciated that?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:36, Reply)

The groom did, I think she called me a dick

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:36, Reply)

what a twat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Worst thing
(I was a waitress there) the bride in a classy frontless, backless and strapless number perfectly cut to show her I heart Wayne tattoos, swigging alternately from two Bacardi Breezers and calling her new husband a cunt, while her children cried

Edit: and the best was either getting drunk when I was eight at a cousin's wedding on champagne, or being given random wedding presents when a couple decided to split up straight after their wedding (again waitress)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I wish I was a guest at that wedding
I would have brought my own chair and popcorn!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I was 11
for a few years I believed I was responsible for the 2nd lot getting divorced having accidentally thrown a prawn cocktail at the bride
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Hedgehog with cheesegrater
although it might get it's quills stuck in the holes..so maybe a squirrel...but it might get distracted and write a story on the pavement...oh I don't know!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:23, Reply)

The best man at my mate's wedding claimed he and the groom were members of some kind of travelling homo-rapist club
and got the bride's mum in the eye with his shouty-wank.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:28, Reply)

He got very emotional during the religious bits, I heard
*clicks*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Okey dokey...
Worst thing: The groom (who I was best man for) spending more time at the reception with the blond intern he worked with than his new wife. They didn't last long.

Best thing: The groom had "Help" written on the sole of his left shoe, and "Me" written on the right. When they nealt at the alter it said "Help Me" (natch). The best man had written it in tipp-ex (white-out) and the groom didn't know.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:30, Reply)

You are Jeremy Harry Beadle Hill AICMFP

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I was just a guest at the second one
those high-jinks were nothing to do with me.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Saw that on YBF a few years back.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Ahhh
I saw the same joke on some shitty show with Charlotte Church years ago
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:36, Reply)

nothing exceptionally exciting has happened to make me say "ooh that's the best by far!"
but the worst was having to watch the bride and groom gaze at eachother while "Wind Beneath My Wings" played. *cringe*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:34, Reply)

a friend of mine went to one where they had the frog chorus

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:14, Reply)

My turn.
The best thing I ever saw at a wedding was the lovely DiT jumping around screaming ‘fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ – and that was before the ceremony! Hehehe

The worst thing… probably the bride missing out on breakfast buffet because greedy guests jumped in front of her in the queue and scoffed the lot before she got there… this made me sad.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Was this bride you?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Hahaha good lord no
No-one would be silly enough to get in the way of me and bacon! :)

It was one of my friends weddings and she was really hungry too! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:48, Reply)

You were the greedy guest then

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Nope, I was behind her in the queue
:-P
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

bumming her

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Nope that's Vipros
See above ^^^
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

at least it wasn't a man that I was bumming

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I think bumming someone elses wife the day after her wedding
in a queue, in public is actualy worse.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

better than bumming the groom in the same situation

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Is that because you think gay people are fundamentally immoral?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:02, Reply)

no
to elaborate somewhat, I don't think gay people are immoral

I was thinking mostly of my enjoyment of the bumming. It can be taken as read that bumming either party, in public, in a queue, the day after their wedding is not a very nice thing to do.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Just less moral than straight people?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I don't know enough gay people to be able to pass judgement
I'd say based on my limited experience that gay people are probably more moral
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:05, Reply)

So this is really all about you not getting bacon
and it has nothing to do with the brides feelings.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

you know how she gets when she doesn't get the pork

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Arf!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Nope
I got bacon a little bit later so its all goooooood. I just felt bad for her as she was clearly stressed out, I also felt bad for the groom too as he was flappin' about too, he'd had his breakfast!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Ooo, I forgot when I got lots of bacon
We were playing at a wedding, sitting at the back during the break, and a woman working at the venue came and told us the band were usually first up, and that we were therefore to go over and get food straight away. I live a hard life.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

The worst thing is any of those pre-planned dance routine videos on you tube,

there is a special section reserved for those cr-azy cunts in the seventh circle of hell, just below scatological paedophiles and just above flash mobbers.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I was asked to do that for a wedding at the end of may.
I said no.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:44, Reply)

what was the song?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:47, Reply)

I have no idea, my friend Gem just showed me some wank video on youtube and said
"I REALLY WANT YOU GUYS TO DO THIS AT MY WEDDING!!!"
I think I laughed in her face.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

good for you
I'm fairly sure that none of my mates would ever ask. mind you, the ones who aren't already married are so ugly and weird they are likely to die alone.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Gem has this much taste <--->

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Single Ladies

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:50, Reply)

damn you Kristine
now I've got that fucking song stuck in my head
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Try not to imagine a fat man in a leotard dancing along

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

god
I saw that again the other day. fucking stupid youtube best of shows on tv.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Putting the internet on TV is terribly odd in this day and age
a bit like putting paintings on the radio
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

it's not really like that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

It has Alex Zane therefore shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I tried to come up with an analogy for shows like RudeTube
I didn't better yours
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Katie Brand?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Ha!

People with Brand as a surname are not funny, fact!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Hmm.
Worst thing: the congregation singing a song consisting of the words "Jesus Christ" to the tune "Edelweiss".

Best thing: bride, groom and guests in the swimming pool under the blazing sun in an Italian agritourismo vineyard suddenly realising it's an hour until the ceremony and we all have to eat lunch and get dressed, and it's totally stress-free.
That, or my friend's wedding speech: "I love my husband, best of all the animals".
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

The best had to be
My friend, who was playing piano for a wedding, dropping a massive music book on the keys before the wedding started. I don't think I've ever seen a redder person.

The worst was probably the irate caterers who took their anger out on me and my band, who were setting up before we enjoyed the meal, and then on one of the ushers, because everything was running about 10 minutes late.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Best thing: walking into the room in the town hall
and realising just how much the whole thing looked like a massive '70s throwback - lots of young men (myself included) stuffed into suits with long hair and/or big shaggy beards, before the bridge and groom came in to the music of Stan Getz. They later left in a sports car.

Worst thing: Well, I didn't see it, but I can't imagine it was a pretty sight to observe my flatmate and me at the reception afterwards, sloshing bitter everywhere and pelvic thrusting to AC/DC.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Best
At my sisters wedding, the DJ had everyone up on the dance floor, doing the same dance. Seeing the Pastor of my old church simulating sex behind his prim and proper wife was one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my life.

Worst - Not because it was bad, but utterly inappropriate. At my Dad's wedding, 'Brown Girl In The Ring' comes on, and everyone forms a big ring, and starts dancing round. Seeing this, all the kids run into the middle, and start dancing. One black girl follows them in, and starts to dance. We don't notice this. However, one by one the kids leave, leaving only the one black girl in the middle. The fact that none of us could laugh just made it absolutely horrible!

However, honourable mention goes to my Dad, who sits down from making a speech at my sisters wedding, and as he sits down knocks a full bottle of red wine all down the front of the Groom's Mum in her new white dress. Ohhhh fuck.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Pastor from my old church simulating sex...

made a change from him actually doing sex to you?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Its doing sex on you... on you... not to you!
Duuur.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Or 'in you.'

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:21, Reply)

or through you
..perhaps?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:22, Reply)

Through you?
Are you sexin' up Ghosts again?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

oh, yeah
sexy headless ghosts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:46, Reply)

or 'up you.'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Pastor
Not Vicar or Preacher
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Sorry oral only then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Arf!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Brown girl in the ring
makes me think of racist porno Cluedo
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:54, Reply)

2 choices for best:
1) seeing my sister married when we didn't know she'd even live long enough (she's still here and OKish now)
2) seeing a child collapse and headbutt the choir stall at the wedding of Heinz 'Great Egg Race' Wolff's son, in an Oxford college chapel - fountains of blood, screaming etc.

Worst: a 'Ray Von' style disco at a ghastly proletarian wedding in Essex, replete with hand puppet for the children and full 'Come on Eileen' set. Truly hideous.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Injured children

the key to any good wedding.

They are banned from mine, but there will be dogs so I expect they'll cause some carnage...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Best thing at wedding - seeing a Russian bride walk down the aisle to a song from a James Bond film 'baby you're the best', I think it's called.

Worst thing: seeing drunken twenty-something old guest grinding his bits on seventy-something old grandma on the dance floor.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 18:29, Reply)

DiT NOT crying on his wedding day was the best as well as when flim walked down the aisle and the sun came out.
Worst, probably meeting my cousin's new husband round the back of the reception hall and watching him smoke his crackpipe. Classy in front of the kids
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 18:42, Reply)

Lurvely!
My best mate copped off with my Auntie at mine. That was slightly traumatic.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 19:19, Reply)

I don't really like weddings.
They're borring for everyone who's forced to be there, which I would guess is a higher percentage than those who are going because they want to. Everything about them is shit, from the still-frozen melon sorbay starter to the nuked steaks. The band or DJ have an extreamly inflated sense of self worth and seem to mistake volume for quality. The only thing to do is get drunk and embarass the fuck out of yourself. And as you're about to tell Cousen Mark your best joke about peadofiles, aunty Sonya (you know, the one who was touched up a bit in the 40s when she was sent to the farm during the war) over hears you and declairs what a nasty young man you've grown up to be.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 19:12, Reply)

One Friday night I turned up to a ropey pub expecting to find it reasonably full
in preperation for a kareoke night, only to find a wedding reception winding up.
Their party continued into the night and fun was had by all until the Groom glassed the Bride. - Worst
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 16:27, Reply)