I'm waiting for someone to turn up for a meeting to determine if I have a job to go to tomorrow
What do you hate waiting for?

Alt Q: who's shit would you like to fuck up right now?

Fucksocks, I'm out of a job
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:19, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ym
I also hate being the first person to arrive in the pub.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:21, Reply)

You like to make an entrance don't you.

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:21, Reply)

No I don't like sitting there drinking alone,
I also don't like to hassle people by texting them asking them when they're going to get there so I either have to read the menu or stare into space.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I'm always first to arrive in the pub, I hate being late
So I just play on my phone, or carve witty haikus into the table with the keys to my Honda Accord.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I hate this.
And I hate walking into a pub I've never been in before and having to try and find my friends. Especially if it's a big old pub with lots of booths and hidden corners and stuff.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I tend to have a book on me at all times,
so being first into the pub isn't all that bad. Plus everyone else has to buy you drinks when they turn up.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I'm never first to arrive to anything

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I'm usually ok, it's just a lot of my friends are late.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I'm always the first to come.

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 27 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

wtf is going on with the job there?
I thought it was all sorted a while back?
Cunts.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Nope
Not since monday anyway
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Good luck.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Oooo! in other news....
I dreamt about our ginger furher's wife last night. I don't even know what she looks like.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:23, Reply)

She's hot

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I hate waiting in call centre queues
And I'd like to fuck up some high-paid bankers, to teach them to fear the common man.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I Go past canary wharf every day. I could fuck some up for you if you like?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Please do.
Pick one building each day, choose a random floor in the top third, find the biggest office on that floor, and if the person's wearing a blue stripey shirt with white collars and cuffs, fuck him up.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I aint fucking with buildings, just the tossers who crowd into the same carriage as me and smell of 80s aftershave

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:32, Reply)

They'll do

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

What's up with those vets then?
I wouldn't mind giving a few "right hand turn signals" to the FACE of the person who nearly ran me over y'day.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

They missed? For shame, I'll tell the loony drivers of south london to try harder next time
,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Cheeky mare.
Hope everthing goes ok with the job things.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:08, Reply)

im always fucking late
i wait for no one
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Sausages. I hate waiting for sausages.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

You'll get yours and no mistake sunshine

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Yes, but at what time?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

At Sausage O' Clock

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I don't know what time that is :(
At a guess about 7 tonight. I proclaim 7pm on Thursday 27 may 2010 to be sausage o' clock
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Lo!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Herald it EVERYWHERE

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Could it be 7.30?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:39, Reply)

That would be half-past Sausage O'clock

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:40, Reply)

For you, yes :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:45, Reply)

You so totally love teh cock

( djtrialprice, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I'm actually quite choosy when it comes to cocks.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Sorry for all my drunken fb spoilage last night
As my better half put it, "So who came home and crossed the border into Drunk Internetland, eh?"
( djtrialprice, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I read that as 'clocks'
it's normally the other way around.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I'm always late and worth the wait
Mofos
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:32, Reply)

you said what i said, but with more style :(

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Cos i'm a blagger innit

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Three strikes rule remains in place though
for repeat tardiness
( djtrialprice, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Remarkably, I have always been punctual for engagements with your good self.
And you're back to zero, buddy ;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:06, Reply)

what happens after the third strike?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Sayonara!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Ffs that's 40 minutes now
Not impressed. I should bill them for wasting my time and fling shit everywhere
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I'm waiting for the Abominable Charles Christopher Book.
But it will be late cos Mr Kerschl is behind on the sketches for the limited editions.
That's OK really cos my wife paid for it for my birthday which is a way off still.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 27 May 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I'm waiting to see if I can get an agreement in principle on a mortgage
I'm not holding out a lot of hope due to the meare equity we've got in our current place but at least I'll know if I'm stuck there for another couple of years ot not.

If I am, I'll be fucking up the current house, just to make a bit more space in the thing!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I hate waiting for packages in the post
as far as fucking up goes, I'm alright with people at the moment. Though if a chance came to punch Peter Mandelson in the face, I might think about it for a minute or two. But that's just standard with me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I hate waiting for the first people to arrive when I'm hosting a party
because obviously no one arrives at the time you say, but you have to have the place ready just in case, so you end up sitting around by yourself with your party dress on and your music playing, feeling like a massive loser and not wanting to start drinking in case you accidentally get smashed before they arrive.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Aww I'd arrive on time for you if you invited me. We could be losers together

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:53, Reply)

haha thanks!
I usually try and persuade my best friend or sister to turn up early so we can pretend the party is already hip and happening by the time other people arrive.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Just start drinking, it's fine.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:53, Reply)

but if you're sitting by yourself waiting for something to happen
you'll end up drinking 8 times as quickly, and might pass out before they arrive, rendering you unable to open the door. Oh the calamity!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Is this pre party nerves already?
I quite like getting to parties early/on time, you get to have a chat and put your beer in the fridge before it's full.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I do get quite nervous before parties
although I have a co-host this time who'll be with me all afternoon making the cupcakes, so it won't be as bad. I always worry that no one will turn up, even though that's never happened and my parties are usually oversubscribed if anything because people who put 'maybe' on facebook realise they actually have nothing better to do and turn up anyway.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I'm still not coming by the way.
It'll be shit.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I fucking hate you.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:08, Reply)

You're going to miss me on Saturday.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I'll put your facebook page up
so Applebite and I can pretend you're there, to try and lessen the pain.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:19, Reply)

haa, that's pretty scary.
Are you going to make mango cup cakes like I said?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Er....
I forgot about them to be honest. Maybe.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I'M GLAD I'M NOT COMING NOW

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:39, Reply)

ME TOO

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I WAS GOING TO INVITE YOU TO MY HOUSEWARMING THAT YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE COME TO BUT NOW I WONT.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:43, Reply)

I would have made you mango cupcakes
as a housewarming present.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:39, Reply)

cupcake parties sound awesome
are they American cupcakes or British ones? Style of cooking I mean (I know you make them)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:02, Reply)

American style,
big cakes with lots of frosting piped on top, not like the little British fairy cakes with icing on them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:08, Reply)

They sound delicious, enjoy :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I'm usually the first person to turn up
So have a brief chat before an awkward silence, then you say "I'm just going to see to the nibbles" and walk away.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:54, Reply)

but isn't that more awkward
that you're in someone's house, about three feet away from them, not talking?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Yep....
Admittedly, this doesn't happen now as I only go to parties run by good mates.
only go to parties run by good mates. never get invited to parties.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:58, Reply)

You can come to my party if you like
there will be cupcakes. I don't know where you live so it may or may not be really far.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Is it tonight? I'm busy, but thanks for the offer!
And I get the impression you're up in Manchester, or that way-ish? So that's 2-2.5 hours drive away.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:03, Reply)

It is Manchester
but it's on Saturday.

Who parties on a Thursday night? I'm not as young as I was y'know.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I'm also busy Saturday
Crazy socialite that I am (have some friends up from 'darn sarth'). Thanks for the sympathy invite though! Makes me feel better than Psychochomp, who didn't even get one of those.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:08, Reply)

he keeps inviting himself just so he can decline
I appreciate the effort he's putting in to try and burn me though
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I didn't read burn there
gave it a whole new meaning
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:12, Reply)

the 'r' close to the 'n' does make it look like an 'm'

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:15, Reply)

haha
also true. He does want to bum me. But only angrily, not lovingly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Ahh, spite fucking...
Gets the job done.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:19, Reply)

anal tearing?
That's a job now?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Yeah, but it doesn't pay well
Shit benefits.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:22, Reply)

that made me actually laugh

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:29, Reply)

I'm a patient person when waiting for people I know will be less than an hour.
More than that, it drives me mad.

Best of luck with the job thingy.

I wouldn't fuck anyone's shit up. I don't have the enthusiasm.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:51, Reply)

more than twenty minutes late
and I'm on the phone bollocking them. Especially if I'm by myself because of it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:03, Reply)

My record's been one hour twenty sat on my own in the pub
Then all my friends turned up at once, all saying "Oh, sorry I'm late, but figured the others would be here on time to keep you company".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I couldn't stand it
I would start to get paranoid that everyone in the pub thought I was supposed to be on a date and had been stood up for being a munter and were all laughing at me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I can't lie
I also had the same paranoia.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I also hate walking across an expansive empty space in a pub or bar,
when you have to cross the centre to get to your friends. I start to envisage tripping over or falling out of my heels and I get quite stressed until I reach the other side. I've never *touches wood* actually fallen over in public yet, but it's only a matter of time.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:13, Reply)

especially when carrying drinks
it takes complete concentration for me sadly
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I get paranoid when carrying drinks that I'll trip, fall forward, and smash them all in my face
Some might say this has already happened.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:15, Reply)

It's a paranoia I am entirely familiar with
so I get nervous and hold on tighter, and they spill a bit anyway
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:17, Reply)

oh my god
now I've got a new fear!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:18, Reply)

I cannot apologise enough!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:19, Reply)

My father always said
'unpunctuality is the sign of a disordered brain'

As a result I'm the cunt at the airport 8 hours before the flight leaves...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I get really stressed if I'm late
even if it's five minutes.

I was once 90 mins late to work because I missed the first train at 7.30am and the next one an hour later was cancelled so I didn't get into work until half ten, I was mortified, but everyone was fine with it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:11, Reply)

I am entirely the same.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Same. :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Thirded

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:14, Reply)

A bit late and rather upset about it...
Fourthed.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Same here
I get very anxious and twitchy if it's approaching the time to set off for somewhere, and the missus hasn't finished faffing around.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:11, Reply)

just extra time
for a little pre-flight drinkie, surely??
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Ouch!
I sat and rolled a strip of filters, and read the paper. Watched the world go by. It was quite nice to be honest.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Always carry a book
Then at worst you look likely to be a lonely alcoholic rather than an unpopular loser.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:11, Reply)

^This
Although I don't carry a manbag, so tend to just browse the web or play games on my phone.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Don't have a bag big enough/book small enough
I'm meant to be going to the library. I don't want to.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:13, Reply)

at least you haven't got an invoice from the Sackler
demanding money for 'Flavian Rome' which I forgot about and found behind my desk
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I owe about 20£
:(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:17, Reply)

they don't even want the £20 fine now
they want the £60 or whatever ridiculous amount they charge for lost books even though I have the book. And they've frozen my library card so I can't go to the History faculty library, though my college library are alright
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:19, Reply)

BASTARDS
Papercut them to death.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:21, Reply)

or brain them
with a fucking massive copy of Volume XI of the bloody Cambridge Ancient History Dictionary
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Shut their face in the Liddell and Scott

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I don't know if this is going to mean anything
to anybody but me, but I might have Miriam Griffin as my tutor next term
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Apparently it didn't
Congratulations! Or You poor bastard! Depending.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

My proudest moment at university
was having a library book so overdue that they completely changed their archiving system in the meantime, accidentally writing off about £170 of fines. Hurrah!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I've never met anyone who studied classical stuff
I love that there are two of you on here.

I feel slightly less of a weirdo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Rome mostly for me in the classics area
I really don't like Greek history. Where did you study it?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:20, Reply)

North fucking London 'University'
That's what happens when the rave scene explodes during your 'A' Levels....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Well if you did the subject you wanted
that's pretty much what counts
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:23, Reply)

My ideal course might have been Celtic Studies
but it was a bit too language-y for me and was also based in fucking Cardiff so that was a 'no' straight away.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I didn't really think about the whole
university application thing. My other five choices were picked randomly from a list of places. When I actually read them afterwards 2 of the five wanted A-levels in Latin and Greek which I didn't have.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Forgive my lowering the bar...
...but did you watch Spartacus on Bravo?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Didn't see it on Bravo
but I have seen the film yeah.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

It's a new big-budget series

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Somewhat better than 'Rome'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)

lowering the bar even lower,
I don't get Bravo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I owe the library money
they're going to tell me off.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:17, Reply)

It's to work
I don't think I can today. My head's not quite right.

I might crawl into my section of the mezzanine and cower.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:18, Reply)

I usually have my MP3 player so I can at least pass the time
I always forget my book and then remember that I have a three hour train journey ahead of me and then my MP3 player will start displaying low battery in the first 3 minutes.

I hate people who go to coffee shops specifically to read a book. Not that you do that, just saying, I hate it. Pretentious douchebags.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Couldn't listen to an iPod in the pub!
What do you take me for, a weirdo?

I have stopped reading, it's very sad. I used to read a lot.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I read for at least two hours a day.
This is because my office is an hour away from my house.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Last book I read was Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman
was pretty good, but I really shold read proper books. Having this conversation with my friend. Asked him the last book he read: "War and Peace".


Riiiiiight.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Good Omens I take it?
Edit: and just laugh at your friend and ask him how it's taken him this long
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Yeah. Enjoyed the Gaiman bits (the bit with the Antichrist)
Enjoyed the character of Crowley, but got a bit pissed off with Pratchett.

That was about a week ago. He'll have read everything ever by now :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Pratchett is a cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Gaiman is God
and has a hot fiancee
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Agreed. And that Hogfather was utter pigshit.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Fake War and Peace reading
just claim your favourite character is Andrei because he's everyone's favourite, and then blag some stuff about the futility of war, and the oppressive nature of society. Bingo
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:30, Reply)

If you're going to pretend you've read War and Peace
at least pretend to like some character that no one likes.
Or act like someone who has read war and Peace and say "it's boring"
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

If you're going to pretend you've read any book whatosever
you deserve a kick in the fucking face.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I like that book a lot

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:27, Reply)

War and Peace is one of my all time favourite books.
I don't understand why people think it's a difficult read. It's just long. I think it's brilliant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:27, Reply)

It's good
I read it a few years ago. And it is brilliant, but the problem is it's not the best book ever, and people tend to cite it as being so
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:32, Reply)

It's dull.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:58, Reply)

If you're not interested in history it probably is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)

To sum it up...
History controls everything we do, so there is no point in observing individual actions. Let's examine the individual actions of over 500 characters at great length.
THE END.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I used to read on my hour long train journey
but as I now walk I hardly find time to read anything anymore. I tried reading at lunch times to make people stop bothering me, but it doesn't stop them and I have to re-read bits over and over which is annoying. I pass people on the way to work who are reading whilst walking, but that's just the worst idea ever.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I only ever read if I'm on the train going somewhere, or sat around in court siderooms
I've just started a Charles Stross book my Dad lent me, s'good so far.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Ooh ooh which one?
He's fucking brilliant.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:22, Reply)

The first in the Laundry series
Cannae remember the name though. I do recall you telling me about him in Edinburgh though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:36, Reply)

The Atrocity Archive.
I love that book. New one's out in time for my birthday, hurrah!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)

That's the bastard!
Only just started it, but I like it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I don't like to be nasty to other people
I'm a "do as you would be done by" type of person. Plus don't want to give anyone any more reason to dislike me.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:08, Reply)

any MORE reason?
no sadness on here, this is a 'fuckest uppest' thread!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I'm very sad today.
Couldn't sleep last night with everything running through my head. I'm smoking a lot, I'm stressed, I'm miserable, I'm going t be late. I just can't get out of bed.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Up!
Especially with the meetings, best not to miss them. I know, as the mentor they've paid to make sure I check my emails could also tell
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Ok, blasting What's My Age Again
I'm going to man up and go for frozen yogurt after I've done some naughty Romans.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Blink 182 are a guilty pleasure of mine
Now I have to put that song on.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I thought there's no use getting
into heavy petting
it only leeeeeads to trouble...
and seat wetting

/is on now, not blink-182
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:34, Reply)

hurray!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Whenever I'm really worried about stuff I get myself in a right state
and then when the thing I'm worried about actually happens it's never as bad as I thought it would be and I've got myself in a state for nothing. Still do it every time though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I get stressed over certain things, work isn't often one
I had a breakdown at school in the middle of the corridor, scared the shit out of everyone. Everyone thinks I'm a happy positive person, they don't seem to realise I'm bitter and nevr will be content.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:31, Reply)

no one's as happy as they appear
some people just hide it better than others.

People who are completely content are annoying anyway, if you're not striving for something then you're stagnating and that's boring.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I hate waiting for
1. unpunctual people
2. the end of the working day/ the weekend/ payday
3. my computer to fire up/ web pages to load
4. baths to run
5. baked potatoes to cook
6. 'the man'


etc etc
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Definitely 1, 2, 3 and 5
I rarely have baked potatoes at home now, as I have to start them cooking before i'm even hungry, and if I'm not hungry I'm not thinking of food.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Me too
But this is because my oven is broken.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:01, Reply)

it's so hard when tricks are late isn't it?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Quick baked taters.
1. Switch oven on at 220 degrees.
2. Microwave tater on full power for (appropriate time for size)
3. Put in oven for 5 minutes to crisp it up.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 27 May 2010, 12:38, Reply)

People whose shit I would like to fuck up:
1. Bowie
2. my fucking boss
3. millions and millions of other people
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 11:59, Reply)

whose shit up
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I just 'Lolled' at a most inopportune moment there, you bustard, you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:05, Reply)

eww

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Could have been worse.
Could have simply been

up
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Yes, that would have been worse
I had a case at work once that ONLY had scat porn in it. Several hundred movies and thousands of pics. That was a horrific week, but I lost some weight because of it.

Maybe I should make it the new fad diet...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Scat until you're sick
Bulimia for the hardened
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:11, Reply)

-applause-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:06, Reply)

athangyou
surprised no one else got in there first really, it was pretty obvious.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Bowie's shit has been fucked on many occasions.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I hate waiting for the miniguns on my accord to spin up to speed
I need to distribute justice NOW!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:23, Reply)

My guitarist has a habit of 'phoning me if I'm five minutes late to meet him somewhere.
And yet, the day we travelled down to Teddington to get our guitars adjusted, he managed a feat of atrocious timing that even Ringo Starr would have found challenging.

We live on different sides of London these days, so we decided it was easiest just to convene at Hampton Wick station. So I had just got to Wimbledon, when I received a message to say,
"Hold on, I don't think I'll be at Waterloo for 45 minutes or so."
Fair enough, I'll go and have a cup of coffee.

50 minutes later, having heard nothing else, I decide it's fair to assume he's at or near Waterloo. I get on the next train going to Hampton Wick. It's just pulling out from the platform when I get a call.
"How are you getting on?" I enquire
"I've just got to Canada Water."
You live round the corner from Canada Water. It takes ten minutes to walk there from your flat, fifteen at a push. How has it taken you nearly an hour to get there?

Either way it's too late now, I'm on the train. I get to Hampton Wick and clearly I'm going to be waiting there for some time. I find a pub and sit down for a quiet pint. (Unlike the rest of you, I have no compunction about drinking by myself, and on the plus side the pub was serving a Twickenham Brewery beer I hadn't had before.) I let the time pass. He said he'd be 45 minutes or so, and after that 45 I decide I'd better wander back down to meet him at the station, otherwise I'll get the 'phone call asking me where I am.

As I get to the station, there isn't a soul to be seen. Wait a few minutes...text message!
"Just got on the train at Waterloo now."
HOW DOES EVERYTHING TAKE THIS LONG?!?!?!?!
Well, he'll be another 15-20 minutes now, won't he? Picard Facepalm.
There's no time to wander back to the pub for another, nor is there anywhere nearby where I could sit down and mull over a cup of coffee. I sit outside the station, and thankfully he turns up just before it starts raining. I bite my tongue very hard.

Alt Q: Not in the mood for fucking shit up right now. I'm still on a bit of a buzz after seeing Joanne Shaw Taylor in concert last night. She even walked right past me after her set. Close enough for me to have grabbed her and run away laughing maniacally. More than once. I got very excited. She's awesome.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I don't think I could have bit my tongue
That's just fucking rude.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I don't think it was rudeness so much as general incompetence.
Kind of annoying all the same.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

I had a friend a while ago
who was always late because she spent like 8 hours getting ready. We would say "let's meet at the pub at 9pm". She would therefore mark 9pm in her head as the time that things were happening, so she would start getting ready at 9pm. She would take around two hours to get ready, so by the time she arrived we would be leaving. She was a psycho though so we're not friends anymore.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:33, Reply)

who was always late because she spent like 8 hours getting ready. We would say "let's meet at the pub at 9pm". She would therefore mark 9pm in her head as the time that things were happening, so she would start getting ready at 9pm. She would take around two hours to get ready, so by the time she arrived we would be leaving. She was a psycho though so we're not friends anymore.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 27 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)

i have a friend like that
haven't seen him since I moved abroad, but unless it was football (and even then) he was always late for EVERYTHING, at least 30-45 minutes, without explanation.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I hate waiting for retirement to come.
I just want to get old and relax and not have to worry about my love life, my job or my weight.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I'm afraid that you only stop worrying about the second one when you retire.
Love and weight remain. :(
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:45, Reply)

The guy in the fucking huge lorry
That cut me up as I was coming around the roundabout off the M40 this morning. The twat pulls out in front of me, causing me to have to slam the brakes on and swerve, followed by a strong indication of displeasure as I passed him on the subsequent dual carriageway.

To top it off, as I pulled up at the lights, he came alongside and gave me the old wanker gesture.

Fucking boiled my piss right up, it did.
( Kroney, Thu 27 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

in response to your edit becky
I'm sorry, that's shit.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Ah, just saw the edit
Bloody hell, I'm sorry to hear it. If you don't mind me asking, why has this happened all of a sudden?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Same here.
Sorry pet.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Sorry about that
any reason they gave?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

That's shit,,
but you can now go and try to do what you've always wanted.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)

most girls don't aspire to being a pole dancer, but our Becky...she's special.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:22, Reply)

She wants to be a poledancing female version of Jack Bower

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:26, Reply)

that would be amazing.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:36, Reply)

*Bauer
And I'd definitely watch that
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)

What, you mean
Alias?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)

That sucks big donkey willy
What happened? Do you get a redundancy package or anything?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:36, Reply)

1 months pay, not bad since I was only there 11 months.
I'm sorting out some locum work which pays amazingly well, so hopefully it's not the worst thing in the world
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)

sweet
you could become a travelling vet and paint your car like a cow :D
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)

If I was a vet and had a car, then that is what I would do. I bet I could paint my oyster card
Fucking glad I didn't renew it this month now.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)

sorry, I thought you were a vet nurse type person
what are you actually?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)

A haberdashererer

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I would love to be a haberdasher
although I would spend my wages before I got them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Yup, vet nurse, but we don't take kindly to being called vets ,)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Fuck, sorry to hear that buddy.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Damn that's utter shit Becky
Sorry to hear that :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)

*hugs Becky*
I know she loves being hugged by me really.
sadtimes :(
( djtrialprice, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Shame becky
I hope something brilliant comes along for you.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Yeah
Like some inspiring words from Helen Steiner Rice.
Or a photo of Elaine Paige.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Bad example.
Helen Steiner Rice died 30 years ago.
Unfortunately, Elaine Page is still with us.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Her words live on, mongo
And Paige has lupus, so she could be gone any day.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

is it really lupus
or is it actually a weird tropical disease that looks like lupus at first glance but then Dr House figures out it's not?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I think she just has rosacea

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

ELAINE PAIGE IS A WEREWOLF????

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

POTD.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 27 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Shit, just saw this post
Sorry to here about your involuntary unemployment, Becky. I'm sure you'll find something else soon.

In response to your question, I'd like to fuck your in the shitter up
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

What a charming response

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I thought you might like it
you seem like the adventurous type
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Shit just saw the facebook post
so congrats on the new job in St Johns Wood!
( Peej, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Sorry to hear about the job.
Good luck
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:07, Reply)