Quick one,
Would somebody ever so kindly enlighten as to what the following words mean? 'trolling', 'gaz', and '/talk'?

Sometimes it can be confusing on here.

alt q: how long does one stay a newbie?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:36, 222 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ha ha, you're rubbish.
/talk is the talk board there's a link on the top.
Gaz is what I use to pic up chicks
and trolling is what bert does when he makes you annoyed.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

You are fast turning into my own B3tan Obi Wan Kenobi type figure.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Obi enobi type
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Obi Wan e i
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Now you get two examples of what a strikethrough is
and why they're shit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

because you are a wanker and a knob?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

It's like anti - countdown or something. All I know is Rachel Riley wouldn't like it!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Now you get two examples of what a strikethrough is
and why they're shit.

blah blah blah I'm a whiney bitch
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Trolling is when you intentionally antagonise someone
GAZ is what private messages are known on here
/talk is the Talk Board, just as we're on /QOTW/Off Topic
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Gaz: personal messaging service on b3ta. See the grey writing saying "You have 0 unread messages"?
Trolling: posting controversial or inflammatory comments to get a rise out of people. Follow Bert's posts for long enough and you'll get the idea.

/talk: What happens if you click the "Talk Board" button at the top. My advice: don't.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

yeah you might just get eaten alive.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

We're well evil, apparently.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

argh! One of them!
RUN!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Oh come on
if I have to chase you it'll be all *huffhuffhuff inhaler*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

shut up, I don't have an inhaler
*kicks inhaler under desk*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

*inhales cakes instead*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

awww like Kirby!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Not all of you.
most are pretty nice.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Mighty Badger isn't nice
he's well evil
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:47, Reply)

You love me really.




don't you? validate meeeeeeeeeeee
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:50, Reply)

haha
aww ok then, would you like a hug?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I'd quite like a new spine, currently.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Should I ask what you have done to the existing one?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:22, Reply)

fucked it into a cocked hat, mostly.
And not even in a fun way. Too much hockey and being OLD I suspect.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:28, Reply)

You are very old...

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:29, Reply)

I can't help it, Grammy.
It just seems to happen.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:39, Reply)

/talk are a lovely bunch.
(I liked the unintentional insult saying no one wants to speak to him)
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Do you think I should gaz him to make him feel loved?
Or will he just get confused?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I just gazzed
in a very threatening tone.
Poor basterd will probably think I'm joking.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

you're good, I get it. No replying.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Unless you are applebite then it says
"You have 523 unread messages"
Seriously Chompy, just give up
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Green doesn't look good on you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Actually I am wearing green now
and look FABulous
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Bulous
T
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I'd complain
but I am eating my second chocolate brownie
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

FUCK YOU
/damn hungry.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

nom nom nom
There is also a big pile of shortbread two desks away! nom nom nom
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

POIDH
To the best of my knowledge, no-one has ever looked good in green outside of Sherwood Forest
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Go troll my facebook
I can't be assed to look
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I'm not friends with you on Facebook
and I have no idea what your real name is

Although I could just check out every female friend my B3ta FB friends have. That might be fun
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Oh yeah
I forgot I had a screening process set up and you didn't make the cut...

There's always next years auditions!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

*begins practising dance routine*
The swimsuit competition is going to let me down
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

What about Tinkerbelle?
I would.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

You're going to love the pics of me in a tutu then

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I wear a lot of green
and I look good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

And smug.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Again,
POIDH
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Found a new acronym, have we?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

It's yer own damn fault

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:18, Reply)

sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1922/102/28/546651805/n546651805_1675767_9078.jpg

sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs265.snc1/9216_131214624604_514239604_2306956_7274573_n.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I've always wanted to know what the devil would look like if he went hiking.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

no no
you're supposed to find pictures that make you look "good" not "shit"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

damn
can't get anything right
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

So THAT'S what happened to Leslie West's fingers.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I have no idea what you are talking about

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Was Lesley the name of Fred & Rose West's daughter, perhaps?

(Cave Duck, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Err given that it say Leslie not Lesley, then probably not. ahem.

(Cave Duck, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Did your croissant waistcoat go mouldy?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

yes

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Fool!
Clearly you are blind
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

"513 of them are out-of-focus shots of what looks like a penis, only smaller"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

that's two days in a row someone has said I've got a small cock,
I may have to go syncubus on you lot.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

now, no.
I wasn't suggesting the Gazzezzes were from you. Steady, petal.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Trolling is deliberately posting an inflammatory comment to start a fight.
Gazzes are private messages.
/talk is different section of b3ta. Have a look at the bar of links at the top of the page. See next to Main Board - there's Talk Board.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

You will stay a noob until you stop asking questions like this

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

thanks
now I know, I won't ask again, plus have just realised that if Bert still think's I'm chompy dicking around this will make him/her furious! win win.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Ooh
I am all for winding up bert
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I hope your AIDs gets cancer
and you die in a bus accident
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I think, and I could be wrong, that you stay a noob until you start a fight with someone newer for being inexperienced
like I did with you. Thanks for that, by the way

Question - have you altered your nick because rumours are linking the now way-past-it Pires with a return to the Premiership? Or is it just that Booby Pirates is much funnier?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

See as you are replying to my post
it looks like you started a fight with me, and we all know that would not end well for you.

NOOB
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Haha!
Go get him tiger.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I actually don't know that, as I've never seen you fight
However, given that I am generally pathetically nonconfrontational and bow in the presence of breasts - any breasts - I'll assume you're right
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Honestly he
better not come back as he left Arsenal on my birthday and ruined that year for me seriously I left my own party early to go home and watch my arsenal 49ers dvd and lament. The change is due to the hilarity of boobs and pirates being together, like a sexy, salty, buccaneering porno. No worries on the fight it was quite funny.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I cannot find a single fault with this logic. It is awesome logic
Sucks about Pires' timing though. Fucking frogs
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

the punctuation is questionable though
NEED MOAR COMMAS
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

sir, sir! he got it wrong sir!!!!!! Kitty O'Hara - punctuation police.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

we are an elite band of warriors against poor spelling, grammar and punctuation
Members include Monty, TGB and me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I still have a completely inappropriate man crush on him. Don't care if I do get called a bumder. He is the reason I have long hair and a beard to this day.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Not another one!
Crow! Crow! Where the fuck are you when you're needed?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

It's hardly a man crush.
As that would imply he's actually a man, as opposed to a whiny, diving little girl, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Whoops, better late than never
*ahem*

++BUMDER ALERT. BUMDER ALERT. SUSPECTED SIGHTING OF A NEW AND PREVIOUSLY UNCHARTED BUMDER IN THIS AREA. THE BUMDER SEEMS UNSURE OF HIMSELF IN THIS NEW AND DISORIENTING ENVIRONMENT BUT IS SUSPECTED TO BE GUIDED STILL BY HIS INNATE INSTINCT TO BUM. BUMDER ALERT. HE IS CURRENTLY ASSUMING THE MONIKER OF "BOOBYPIRATES" IN THE HOPE OF DISGUISING HIS BUMDERISM WITH A BOOBAL FIXATION, AND APPARENTLY SPORTING LONG HAIR AND A BEARD, PRESUMABLY TO LOOK LIKE JEFF BRIDGES, UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT THE AFOREMENTIONED IS THE PINNACLE OF MASCULINITY AND UN-BUMDERISM.

DO NOT BE FOOLED. THIS BUMDER IS A MASSIVE BUMDER WHO HAS A CRUSH ON A MAN WHO IS PAID A SMALL FORTUNE TO BE WATCHED FLOUNCING AROUND A LARGE FIELD WITH OTHER MEN, BY OTHER MEN, BEFORE PILING INTO A STEAMY CHANGING ROOM WITH TEN OTHER MEN. ALL OCCUPANTS OF THIS BOARD ARE ADVISED TO PRESS THEIR BACKS FIRMLY AGAINST A WALL OR RADIATOR (EXCEPT YOU, DARTH, OBVIOUSLY). IF NEITHER ARE AVAILABLE THEN CLENCHING A SHARPENED PORTABLE FAN BETWEEN YOUR BUTTOCKS MAY PROVIDE SOME PROTECTION UNTIL SUCH TIME AS YOU ARE ABLE TO HIDE IN THE FILING CABINET.

BUMDER ALERT. BUMDER ALERT.++
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I like this, if only for the sheer amount of effort put in. Ooer missus.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:54, Reply)

You just love the attention, don't you, you big bumder?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I can't wait for the next one.
They always make me grin like a mong in a sweet shop.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Plus PsychoChomp is thoroughly fed up with me flogging this dead horse
Clearly the Bumder Alert has everything going for it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

well you did your research
and that's enough for me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Are you really going to become a teacher?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

yeah
but I've got three years left to sort myself out and I'm only teaching reception class so how much damage can I do?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Yeah, it's not like kids are impressionable at that age

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

are you worried about my capabilities of educating young children?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

You just seem to have this...for want of better words...childlike stupidity.
I'm still not convinced that you're not somebody's comedy account
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

to be honest with you that's a fair enough comment.
I can assure you however I am a real boy. If I knew how to put photos in my profile I would. However I'm definitely not stupid very playful and sarcastic and due to me still being a noob it, so far, hasn't come across very well. Time will tell. Or I'll die ignorant and alone.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

have you not met
primary school teachers?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Not since primary school, which was 22 years ago
back then primary school teachers were middle aged women, i'm not sure when it became acceptable for young male university graduates to teach at primary level.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Boys need male role models in school.
Supposedly.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Well, it would have made a nice change from the bitter old spinsters who taught me
and so blatently hated little boys
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

when we all realised how much fun it is. I work on placement at the moment and I have so much fun with the kids. (in a non gary glitter way)
They are sharp, funny and even when being annoying or silly infinitely cute. Plus they seem to really enjoy learning which I do so I can't wait to graduate and get out there properly. Uni is ace though.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Are secondary school teachers going to look down on you?
Y'know, like the way university lecturers look down on secondary school teachers.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Probably
but whilst there writing lesson plans on Shakespeare and what not I'll be getting the crayons out and drawing cool shit. Chins secondary school teacher! chins.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

unless they are art teachers/lecturers
then they are arsing about with crayons and shit, but justifying it as a higher art form
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

agreed

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

i love my job

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

their
God I'm busy today.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I thought childlike stupidity was a prerequisite for coming here.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Precisely - in reception the parents are all over their darlings
And checking everything you do. If their ickle princess Mezzanine hasn't written a masterpiece by Christmas you'll be in it deep.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

it's not much better at FE level
but at least they rarely come in wearing Disney princess costumes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

And most of them are out of nappies by FE

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

most...

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Rarely, anyway
Christ on a Segway, I hate fucking RAG week with a fucking passion.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

It's the PMT that's worse.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Fucking hell
Don't get me started on photomultiplier tubes
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

oh god that was so geeky
it made my eyes hurt
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

haha Mezzanine

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Shut up and fuck off, Yogi

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

here we go, cuntycuntyapeshagger is back

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Trolling: annoying
Gaz: sending cocks
/talk: A mixture of the above with added cocks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Until you have a flounce, go away for a few days and then realise you've been a twat and come back.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

or in my case, months
months spent out there alone in the desolate wilderness, surviving on nothing but a diet of Loose Women and Something for the weekend, spending every waking moment contemplating the sheer futility of arguing on a messageboard, and then coming back to do it all over again
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Good innit.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Ohh, good idea. I've never had a flounce.
I think I lack the vanity to assume anyone would give a toss.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

we should declare
a national flouncing day!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

If we have to wear a skirt then count me out.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

i think you could probably
flounce if you had wide enough flares
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I have just the jeans for the job.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I have just the skirt for the job
...hang on, what?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

but if everybody flounced
then there wouldn't be anybody left to discuss how ridiculous the flouncing was. So it would just be leaving really.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

we could
take it in turns
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

We have a sweepstake on when we will break you again
I sense flouncing on an EPIC scale
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

there won't be any flouncing this time
I've done the decent thing in the past and left because it was upsetting Becky, I've been banned, and I've left because I couldn't stand BGB's adoring gazzes, but now I'm here to stay and there's nothing anyone can do about it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

*adores*

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

seriously
check your gaz history, I left because you sent me a nice gaz once
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I must remember to stop being nice to guys.
It never ends well for me.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I don't think anything that you've managed on this site
can be described as "decent".
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

He manages to be a pretty decent cunt

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

it's been ages since I had a decent cunt

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

ditto, Finn
I still don't even know who you are, but I'm glad you keep trying to get in on the action
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I don't come here often enough
but enough to tut disapprovingly of your actions.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

while tuggin' your nuggin'?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

That goes without saying
in most walks of my life
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

This time he's going to KFC.
It's gonna be HILARIOUS.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I wish you were funnier

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I wish you were further away.
Where they don't have computers and electricity.
Maybe somewhere where horrific diseases are still commonplace...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Croydon?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I wish you weren't an amorphous, meatball blob
but it ain't gonna happen
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Have you been watching Aqua Team Hunger Force?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I've never heard of it
but as you've mentioned it I'm going to assume it's some despicable, nerdy geek thing that would make me want to tear out my own eyes
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

ha
You're like Carl
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I don't know who Carl is
Do you mind if I ask you why your boyfriend is such a needy, rape-y looking fuck?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I don't have a boyfriend
Or are you continuing some kind of crazy meatball metaphor I am unaware of?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

you know, teh guy from B3ta who you were boffing?
Looks like Peter Sutcliffe? You know the guy
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I am.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

contemplating the sheer futility of arguing on a messageboard
wanking like a grinning chimp

Obvious strikethrough is obvious.
Obvious accurate obvious accurate
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

wellgroomedwookie
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

And?
I'm just waiting for that special lady, Bert.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

grow your hair long again
and wank in the mirror. It's the closest you'll ever get
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

The hair's all gone. It won't grow back.
I suppose I could take my severed locks out of their special bag and glue them back on for a bit, but then I wouldn't be able to use them for anything else...
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

save them for strangling that special someone

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Lady-skin suits don't just make themselves.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

tru dat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Listen, I'll make a deal with you, yeah'.
I remember when I was at school, everyone had a "If I'm not married by 40" person, and a back up. I had about 3 or 4 of them, but I lost touch.

Anyway, if we're still both virgins by 35, we'll go out and get some whores and coke, rent out a hotel room that charges by the hour, and have a whale of a time (that's if you're into big girls; I'm not sure).
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

It's ok Gonz,
you have a big one, I'll have a little one.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Cool, I'm not really bothered eaither way, I figure if they're going to be doing that sort of thing to me, and I'm going to do that sort of thing to them...
... It's not really my place to be judgemental if they like a KFC every few days.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Yeah, but none of the smackhead ones are chubby
and I really like that dead look in their eyes.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I dunno, I've been here nearly 6 years and I'm still a noob.

( Peej, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Who are you again?

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

he's the one with the fit daughter/wife

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I'm the one who knows where you live

( Peej, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Well why don't you pop in for a cup of tea then?

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Because I look so much like Jeff that I am scared too

( Peej, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I would never force myself on anyone if they said no.
Especially after the last time.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I have a rare bone disease which prevents me from pronouncing the letter "N" in "No"

( Peej, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

A shake of the head would do.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

head Knob
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

That's nob, not noob.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I do say a lot of nobbish things
I'm a terrible person
( Peej, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Don't listen to them.
'Gaz' is reference to 80s TV host 'Gaz Top'.

'Trolling' is wanking under a bridge.

'Talk' is the primary mode of communication for humans. '/talk' indicates you have finished speaking.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

it means
"to give someone a mullet"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

It means
to scale the dizzy heights of 'BMX Beat', but then to fall out of favour, ending up on 'How' with Fred Dineage and from there to complete obscurity.

Happens a lot on B3ta.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

This is giving me an '80s throwback image
Of you wearing an Anneka Rice-esque shell suit and accessing b3ta through Ceefax.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

...and are you liking this image,
or does it disgust you in some way?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

It's stirring distant memories of my infancy
The result of which is a raging, throbbing bone-on, almost painful in its tumescence and turgid enough that if I'd been that famous Chinese student, I'd have had to teabag the line of tanks approaching me in Tianmen Square.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

You had a sexy infancy, then?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Deeply erotic
I think it stemmed from my grievous disappointment after Michaela Strachan promised me a "really wild show" and failed to deliver.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Haha excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

ahhhh Ceefax
retro.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

+ a goat

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I'd say you stop being a newbie when you make a proper impression that people remember
For me, it was either my entry on the 'Dead Bodies' QOTW, or when the infamous picture appeared of me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Definitely the picture.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

link please?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

You don't know what you are asking for, here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Brace yourself
Seriously, you don't want to rush into these things. Maybe give it some time. I suggest mentally preparing yourself for it until, ohh, around the 1st of October, say?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Sorry Monty, it's this time again
This is the pic
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

hot

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

*STANDS UP AND APPLAUDS* skills Monty, skills.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

And this is the post
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/deadbodies/post124665/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

nice try

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Worth a try

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

That would answer the question, in fact
You're probably still a n00b if you clicked that link without checking it first...

_{I clicked that link. *hangs head*}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

You fucking noob.
With your flapping 'noobic hair'.....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:40, Reply)

*sheepish*
I knew it was a bad idea to straighten them today
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:43, Reply)

It does make you look a bit sheep-ish, you're right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Yep, it's a baa-d move

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:53, Reply)

The shear cheek of it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)

what are you two bleating on about?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:38, Reply)

even I know to check the properties first!!! horses! tut

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

And "?asdf=asdf" (asdf being anything) onto the end of it to reduce Purple Links.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

For me it was when I faked my way to Japan
Or when I talked about bleeding from my cock. But I'm still a filthy noob.
( Peej, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

i need to work on a scheme
to elevate me from obscurity...
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Do a 'Raoul Moat'.
Then people will sit up and listen.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Good idea, as long as he goes down in a hail of bullets Butch & Sundance style
none of this blubbing for 7 hours
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

...like you did
when you went down for that 'Rachel Nickell' stuff, eh Col?



EDIT when Colin Stagg is 'making love', do you reckon he quotes from 'Highlander': 'come on love, 'feel the Stagg'...'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Totally different situation
Sure I was a paranoid weirdo who liked to smack women around, sure I was a narcissistic oddball who had a persecution complex, sure I had violent fantasies about paying back a deceitful world that had wronged me, sure I...um, what was the question again?

Edit - He probably says "HELLO PRETTY" before stabing her 49 times with his pork sword.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:55, Reply)

And when she complains because he's snuck off for a wank, he replies
"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:55, Reply)

it's a good plan
*shoots all teh internets*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:47, Reply)

You've already posted on /talk 3 times. Why do you need it to be explained to you?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)

being thick that's all.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Well you're going to be a teacher afterall, par for the course old boy
/brother is a teacher.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:10, Reply)

You think he's real?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:11, Reply)

you still think I'm a comedy account?
I'M A REAL BOY GODDAMNIT!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Young Photo Of boobypirates
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I've given up caring

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 12:17, Reply)