I want that back
I want that back please
Getting the tent out last night ready for this weekends surfing trip and I found my ex girlfriends hoody and a flip flop inside. Thinking of ringing her to get it back to her I realised she still has my sunglasses, Mighty Boosh DVD, a couple of xbox games and my watch. Seeing as things ended pretty dramatically between us I thought screw it I'll write it off.

What things have you lost to your exes?

Alt Q: Best/Worst break up?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:28, 190 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I won't delete this one - honestly with all the rules you lot keep throwing at me I feel like an unwanted redheaded stepchild

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

We don't talk bad about gingers
That's almost as bad as racism.

Unless you are in a QOTW which is all about gingers and everybody makes fun at them for a week.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Yeah, my Mum was a ginger
but she's dead now, turns it out wasn't her natural hair colour, her brain had rust
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I have a feeling of deja-vú
I wonder why...

Yep, as I said, all my break-ups have been quite messy, and the fact that it's always being me breaking up doesn't make it any easier.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I've never had a bad breakup.
I just kill them.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

That sounds pretty cool
I'll do that next time. A lot easier than all my explaining and the "it's not you, it's me" stuff.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

You get to keep their stuff
and all their friends are all "you're so brave", "I'm sorry for your loss" at the funeral
Then you cry a bit and you get to fuck them on the grave.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I can't see a single flaw to that plan
Apart from the fact that I'm not very good at killing. Can I hire you for a sensible fee.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Apart from the last one.....
I dumped my girlfriend whilest in London celebrating Pride. I regret that to this day.

I was a cunt.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

+ licker

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Obvious post is obvious.

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

How can you see my 'point' from all the way over there?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

You're right mine was better

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Yours was just wrong.
I never loved the cunt. Hence my turning back.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

was a
loved the
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

haha irony lolz

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I can't believe you posted this again, deleting it once was bad enough
I'm finding it difficult to worl out whether you're hilarious in a really shit way, or shit in a hilarious way
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Bert my dear.
You really shouldn't hound the newbies this way. It's not sport, it's shooting fish in a barrel.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

He has me on ignore, so it doesn't matter what I say
This sort of thing is mild compared to the vicious bullying you would receive for thread deletion in the old days
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

True.
Ah the old days, when trolls were trolls and it was eat or be eaten.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I'm glad I wasn't here on those days
Or I would have gone home crying and never be back here. So probably, I wouldn't have met you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I once ended up 'dating' a guy by accident
I dumped him on Valentine's day, shortly after he handed me a big bunch of flowers and some chocolates. He cried. And then he stalked me for a couple of weeks. He was a very strange (scarily so) boy...
I still ate the chocolates though.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I don't get that about women who throw away the stuff that unwanted admirers give them
it's not the flowers' fault they're not wanted!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Flowers are still pretty regardless of the giver
He was actually quite terrifyingly not right in the head though - as evidenced by him taking my assent to go and see a movie together as meaning I was his girlfriend. I was gobsmacked when he introduced me as such but figured I'd see how it went (I'd been single for ages at that point). He lasted 6 days before he creeped me out beyond repair.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I always hated it when the bloke referred to me as his girlfriend before I'd decided that's what I was
however, when Wiggy did it I went all soppy. *sigh*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Creepy
I had an ex calling me every day from Barcelona, and telling me he was going to buy a flat in Tenerife so that we could live together and be forever happy. That's after I broke up with him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Fortunately now you know me
and we're all well aware that the two of us were meant to be together
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I accidentally dumped a boyfriend by text
by writing a message to my friend of "I think I'm going to break up with him, I just don't fancy him anymore" and accidentally sending it to him. I feel awful about it. When I met up with him a few days later to try and talk about it he didn't believe my speech of "we're just too different", etc.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I like this.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Poor guy
But it made it easier for you, didn't it?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

it did but I genuinely felt awful about it because it's such a horrible way to be dumped!
plus he didn't believe that it was an accident.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

That's because honesty is much more effective
If you try to let somebody down gently it'll hurt them all the more. If my ex had just told me she'd got bored of me and was moving on because she had a better offer, I would have shrugged and been happy for her.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

^This
Sometimes the most damage is done by trying to not hurt someone.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Yeah but you can say stuff like "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore, I'm not happy"
which is honest, but the hurtful thing was the 'I don't fancy him anymore', which he probably could have done without.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I disagree
You have to be harsh or the message won't get through, if you don't fancy someone anymore it's better to tell them that and hurt them short-term than leave them thinking there might still be a chance
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

More often than not you can tell when someone is lying about why they don't want to see you anymore.
This means you're left with sleepless nights wondering what it really was that was the problem.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I had to break up with the guy I was seeing before Wiggy
because we literally were just too different, we didn't have anything in common and he thought all my gothy stuff was a phase. However, it sounded like such bollocks when I said it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I suppose so
I don't bother with stuff like "I'm not ready for a relationship" or that kinds of bollocks but I do like to sugar coat things a little, otherwise I would have said to him "you're really patronising and close-minded, go back to your inbred family and stay in this tiny insular little village until you die in the house you were born in, whilst I go and actually have a life, without you". But that probably would have been a bit mean.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

That would have worked for me
but your body probably would have been found in my wheelie bin a few weeks after I'd tried to run away to the Maldives
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

he would have fed me to his cows

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

^ this ^

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

The best way to break up with someone is to act like a dick enough so they feel compelled to take the first step.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

It really isn't.

(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Worked for me everytime.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Or shag their sister/mum/dog

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

the guy I'm talking about above did actually shag my sister
he's the one who said we had the same body.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Family-sexy-time-lolz

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

This is particularly effective if the sister/mum/dog is dead.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

*seethes*
stoppit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

If you don't like the way I'm acting maybe you should split up with me?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

That's what you want isn't it?!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:00, Reply)

You are
my BF AICMFP
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post798374
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I don't think I've ever been hurt by breaking up with someone.
I donno if it's 'cus I expect that from the begining, or it's 'cus I'm cold hearted in that department or it's 'cus if I think that's for the best; then it is.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I'm always wracked with guilt
even if we've only been on one date.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

i've done it by text, but not to actual boyfriends, just blokes i was dating
Although by their reactions they seemed to think they were already my boyfriends
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

But you said you "really liked" me! :'(

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I did, but you did not make it to the third interview stage

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

*opens coat to expose bomb*
This never fails to win someone back.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

The Vet Nurse I was on/off dating a few years ago
She's still got my prized boxed set of Withnail & I, complete with soundtrack.

She said it was "rubbish". Her favourite film? Shrek.

She had to go.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

My virginity

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Has Wookie got yours as well?
He must be collecting them so that his own one doesn't look so bad gathering dust in the corner of his mum's basement bedroom
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Oi! Hookers count, right?
If I was a girl it would have grown back by now, it's true.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Oh you have lost it then?

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

^ ouch!
That's mean. (you could try looking down the back of the sofa though - I found a fiver down the back of mine the other day)
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I don't do mean very often.
But I like to flex my mean muscle now and again.


Besides, he knows I think he's lovely.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Bitch wouldn't give it back.
Worse than that, she's also got my copy of Restaurant at the end of the universe.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I think I have a spare copy of that somewhere
if you want it. There's not much I can do about your cherry though.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

See, you ladies can have a hymenoplasty and pretend to be unspoiled
You can't really do the same if you've got a penis. Apart from lie.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I read somewhere that the hymen grows back
if you don't have sex for a long enough period. I'm not sure how true that is though. I don't know why you'd want to lie about being a virgin when you're not. Unless your family is going to set fire to you and leave you in a ditch for betraying their honour. Or something. I guess that'd be quite a good reason actually...
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I don't think that is true.
Because believe me I would know.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Hasty wiki-ing tells me it is indeed bullshit
Oh well. I was quite amused by the concept actually.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

aww that's a shame
I like the idea of renewed virginity.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

it would only grow back if you weren't sticking things up there all the time
EDIT: that sounded like I think you're a chronic fwapper, I didn't mean that. I meant tampons.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I've read that too
I don't think it grows back entirely but I think it does draw inwards again. When I was single if I hadn't had sex for ages it would hurt again when I did.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

slept with someone on holiday a few years ago & nearly lost my mind as a result.
who thought it was the start of a relationship instead of a one night stand. She turned out to be a mentalist who wouldn't take no for an answer (this was doubly weird as I am certainly no catch). I ended up having to hide at the airport as we were on the same flight back.

Then came the messaging on Facebook. I ignored her. She tried to connect with me on Linkedin. Then follow me on Twatter. Then post on the company blog. Then call my office repeatedly. She even turned up at my house & followed me one night to my local pub.

This went on for months & I became quite paranoid. In the end I told her that she had turned me gay. Even that didn't work. It took almost a year for her to finally get the hint. Mentalist.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

That's stalking.
You should have got the police involved.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

she didn't do anything truly nasty so I didn't want to get her in to shit with the police
but it did cross my mind. I just wanted her to fuck off.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Persistance is a virtue.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

How's it working out for you these days?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

you know... homeless, good times.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

have you managed to get your stuff out of the place?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Some clothes, but not everything,
they tried to say that anything more than 30min at a time will cost me £100 plus VAT for 4 hours, you can imagine how well that went down.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

is that legal? Stated in your tenancy agreement?
Have you spoken to the Tenancy Advisory Service? tpas.org.uk
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

No it's not and it basically invalidates the repossetion warrant.
When I mentioned this they went very quiet and now they've been in a meeting with their lawyers since 8am.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

that's so out of order
I really hope you win this one, they're being such cunts.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

There is surely
no legal basis for that kind of shit. Tell them to get fucked, it's not your fault your cunt of a landlord has defaulted so why should you be penalised?

EDIT - oh and did I read yesterday that they chucked all your food out? What the fuck was that about?
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I would be going Falling Down on anyone who threw out my food.
I wonder if you can demand compensation for it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

They chucked the food in the fridge and freezer out because they turned off the electricity.
That's probably legal, but I may have a claim for compensation, but I doubt it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I bet they didn't really throw it out, I bet they took it home
because they won't have ever had Waitrose food so it'll be a treat.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

There was about a tenners worth of lovely lovely waitrose cheese :(

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Arse. That is really shit :(
I'm sure they shouldn't be able to touch your stuff though - have you spoken to the citizens advice people?
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

So what are you going to do about finding somewhere else to live?
have you got somewhere to stay in the interim?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

you should have looked after that more caerphilly

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

hahahah

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)

That actually makes me feel proper sorry for you
More than any of the other things :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

It did depress me when I typed it.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

It's all about looking at the good side of things
For instance, you don't have to clean just now.

Edits: On a genuine point, it does properly suck. My ex-flatmate currently has an ex-landlord headed court-wards, but not for anything quite as bad.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

You should have just told me the truth
and I would have left you alone.

*stalks*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

You're not a hairdresser from Watford are you?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

No, she's a kids TV character

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

We're all hairdressers from Watford here
THANK GOD FATE HAS SEEN FIT TO REUNITE US AGAIN SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER

*opens coat to expose bomb*
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

*drinks Koolaid*

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

*runs away*

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

This sounds amazing
needs to be turned into a film.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I only speak to one of my exes, but none of the break ups have been stupendously messy,
I can tell you this exciting story at a later date if you'd like.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I got involved
with an ex of a mate. I'm not proud, it was awful, I was a dick, she was a dick, he was a dick. There were a lot of dicks swinging about.

All very messy and regretful.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Have done this also
Not good.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

DIgnaty, self worth, lust for life and Super Mario Galaxy.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

The only thing I've lost to an ex is my belief in my ability to be a good judge of character.
It's incredibly scary finding out that you were so wrong about someone. I think that that is one thing that is holding me back from getting involved with someone again.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

*sings*
loooove like you've never beeen huuuuuuuurt
and dance like there's no one waaaaatching yooouuuuuu
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Oh I can do the dancing thing fine : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

That reminds me, last night I was flicking through, and there was some show about Jorden and Alex's wedding.
I only cault the last 10 minutes of it, but I'm pretty sure the entire event was a set-up for her to launch her song.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

yeah the whole relationship is ridiculous from what you see of them in the media
I've heard a sample of her song and it's not that bad for a typical commercial dance track, but it's been messed with so much that it sounds nothing like her. I've heard her sing before and she's not actually that bad.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

She was in dire need of an auto-tune at the live performance thinggy I saw on the telly last night.
It's A-Level quality at best, sounds like she's been given an assignment of "Make a dance track for a club on a greek island's club. Extra points for adding X Y Z into the song".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

yeah I really don't think her foray into the music world will last long
she's already successful enough with all her other ventures, she should leave this one alone. She's going to try films next I bet.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Yeah', wouldn't supprise me.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Yeah, but it always takes about a month to figure out the other person is awful
just another horrible human being with all the flaws that go with being human.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I can deal with flaws, just not lies.

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Everyone lies, it's how we weasle our way into things and it's what separates us from the animals
apart from the weasles
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

eagles may soar
but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

That's because the live stoatally different lives

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

you can tell them apart quite weasily

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

*Glares*
I was going to say that. Now i'll never be king of the internet. *Shakes fist*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I won't apologise ferret

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)

*Applauds*

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:22, Reply)

It's difficult
but the key thing is to remember that they had the problem, not you.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

this
it's hard to trust ones judgment again.

I also am still to get my games cube and Zelda game back. But I will, mark my words!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Nothing too dramatic, but I did have a "High Fidelity" moment
where my mother cried down the phone at me when she found out I had split-up with my girlfriend.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

my mum hit on one of my ex-boyfriends when she was drunk
she was sitting on his knee and asking me why I broke up with him as he had lovely legs.

I was trying to disappear into the floor.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

This is why I have learned
that mums need to be kept as far away as possible.

Until needed for something...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

"When it comes to a good time take my mother"
"please, take my mother"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I've been more of a gainer than a loser in these matters.
A nice pair of step ladders that belonged to my former girlfriend's Mum, that she didn't want back, and one of those long thin spades which belonged to my girlfriend's brother's girlfriend and happened to be in our shed when they split up and she decided to go traveling.
Now, I just need to start flirting with someone with a decent hedge trimmer.
(Cave Duck, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I have three pairs of step ladders but no hedge trimmer.
I do have a new steam cleaner though. *winks*
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Did you ever know your real ladder?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

*facepalms*

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I'm still paying off thousands of pounds of debt my ex left me with
It'll take me years. Before I've spent one penny, £165 goes out of my account every month to scratch the surface of my managed loan from the bank.
But you know what? I don't mind. Put it this way, if somebody said to me right now "Ok, you can go back in time to when you lived together and it looked like there was no way out, and that was it, your life forever with that nutter. Or... give us ten grand and the fucked up mentalist is gone forever. Let's call it £165 per month at a ridiculous interest rate?" I'd agree in a flash.

(the cunt took loads of my CDs and irreplaceable video recordings though)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I feel like a right cunt now : (
You've had it far worse than me.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

It's all relative hun. Hurt is hurt.
Although I'll wager nobody here has been woken in the night by a ripping sound, run out onto the landing to discover your 'better' half hacking at their forearms (never the wrist unfortunately) with a razor blade, and when you try to stop them, they corner you and flick blood all over you saying "You did this!!!"
I'd say that was a unique claim. I am laughing right now because I'm over it and it's so fucking emo!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

ewwwwww

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I know! Vile!
I was like "Watch the landlord's carpet!!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

When I was living with one guy I cut my finger on some glass
so I rang his parents house, where he said he was, but it turned out he wasn't there at all, he was with his other woman. He came to take me to the hospital and left the woman in my flat. Then he ditched me at the hospital with a friend of his so he could take this woman home and fuck her one more time before coming back to pick me up.

I wouldn't be so bitter if it wasn't him who put the glass in the bin that I cut myself on. There goes my hand modelling career.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Wow, that's some extra-cunty behaviour

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:43, Reply)

isn't it!
I still speak to him now and I think I must have forgiven him because I'm not angry anymore. The scar is over an inch long but it's not hugely noticeable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I tried being ok with my ex
but then she turned nasty again and took all drugs and stalked me and there was a fracas with my little mum and dad and we had to tell the police on her
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:50, Reply)

boys are rubbish
also, from Roota's story, girls are rubbish, too.

Basically people suck
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Nah, people are mostly great

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

until they are in relationships, perhaps
then they turn into mentalists and cunts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I guess we can do, aye

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I didn't know that!
Awww babe. Want me to pay off your loan and we can work out a personal repayment plan between the two of us?
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

It's only money
At the risk of sounding emo it's been worth every penny. If you see that money as me purchasing my sanity and self-respect and meeting lovely people and being able to take the bins out on my own, have male friends, wear nice clothes, then it's been a bargain.

EDIT: and I know all about your 'personal repayment plans' ;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I'll let you keep all of those things you listed
apart from your sanity.
You're gonna go to Stratheden ha-ha :D
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

You take my sanity in a nice way
I'll stop croissanting now
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:40, Reply)

sanity arse
croissanting foamin' at gash
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Giggity ;)

( djtrialprice, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Cheers Lab
I have trouble expressing myself sometimes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:48, Reply)

You're welcome love

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:54, Reply)

purchasing your sanity in installments?
I take it you've got quite a bit left to go then....hehe
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Still about 73% left to buy back, so yes!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:43, Reply)

so you can just about make a cup of tea
but only when the voices tell you
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

No, only when dj shouts "Tea!"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Might be pushing it at ten grand
But I have often gone with the motto of
"If you lend someone a fiver and never see them again, it was a worthwhile investment."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Hear hear!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

ditto......

(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Best break up?
Probably the last one. In the house, 5 minute chat, out the house and single. She sent a couple of emails but I haven't seen spoken to her since the breakup. Nice and hassle free.

Worst? Toss up between the previous two relationships. One was where I got dumped after a year and a bit with "I love you but I'm not in love with you." with left me crushed for the best part of a year. The other I broke up with her and she went mental. Technically I suppose she already was but the bad mentalness was directed at me for once: I got phonecalls and emails telling me how I should behave, "Why haven't you phoned me to see that I'm ok?". "Because you're no longer my girlfriend(?)". Also stuff like, "You're not allowed to sleep with girl X." After sleeping with girl X I found some website dedicated to me slagging me off. And I've been bad mouthed and generally slagged off over several message boards.

Still got nothing on Monty's ex though.
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Ooooh
after my ex moved out of our house, I got the kettle, toaster and doormat. She got some bathtowels. I win!
She still mentions these items whenever she's round my house (we're best friends) and I say, return my towels and you can have them.
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

but your kettle and toaster are ashow!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

She'll have nothing on your next break-up ;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

oh dear god help me

( djtrialprice, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

link please

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Hahah I've seen the post
The site is called bad exes or something and you can nominate your ex.
If I find out any of her claims are true I'm going to cut off his balls.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

hahahaha
I wanna see!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:43, Reply)

HAHAHAHA
It's still there but no chance, I'm not letting the wider community view it (there's a really bad picture of me on there). It's really funny though. It's on a site specifically for people to vent their frustrations / warn people away from bad prospects. There are loads of, "He stole from me... he beat me... he slept around." etc.

All she had to say about me was "He speaks with an English accent but claims to be Scottish". That's 100% correct yes. "He probably cheated jon me but I think he definitely would anyway." I didn't. She was just bitter I left her and slept with someone she knew afterwards.
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

"cheated jon me"
Freudian slip? Who's this Jon?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

You have met a friend of mine called Jon
He's the one engaged to the gossipy woman who's really upset she hasn't met you yet.
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:46, Reply)

When did I meet him?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:52, Reply)

First year of uni
I pulled a girl from the Rock Soc. and we went back to hers. Alarm bells rang when she introduced me to her flatmates as her 'new boyfriend' (having kissed for the first time about an hour ago). She said we weren't going to have sex, which was fine by me, but halfway through a steamy snog sesh she breaks away and says "Ooo I'm so excited, I want you to meet my mum! She's coming up tomorrow!".

So, I've established she's a bit weird (she's happy to be snogged by me) and incredibly Full On, so obviously I had to do something about it. The next day (I didn't meet her Mum), we were out drinking with friends and I take her to one side and explain that she was a lovely girl, but I wasn't after a relationship, and I'm sorry if I gave her the wrong idea. I tried to be nice and polite, but she grabbed my NIN longsleeve tshirt (that I was holding, as it was hot), and ran out. I tried to go after her, but her mate stopped me and told me to leave her to it.

For about 3 months, whenever I saw her she was wearing my NIN top. I eventually got it back when she latched on to a guy who fancied himself as the next Brian Molko.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I wonder where she is now
I mean, do these people ever get normal or do they eventually meet other t-shirt-stealing batshits?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I don't know
Not seen her as 'Friend of a friend' on Facebook. Quite glad of that too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Brian Molko has tiny teeth

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:58, Reply)

and big gums? and smells of piss?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)