The general population need thinning out. Proof? This story from the papers....
"DELUDED fans of cop-hating Raoul Moat turned up uninvited at his funeral yesterday to pay their own twisted tributes.

Jobless mum-of-eight Theresa Bystram, 45, took three teenage sons on a 300-mile coach trip so they could pay homage. Theresa, wearing a Chelsea shirt bearing the badge of the Headhunters football thugs, said: "Raoul was a legend, a hero. I absolutely loved him. I never met him but we followed his plight and prayed he wouldn't get caught."

Theresa, of Weybridge, Surrey, added: "We're not related but something in my head told me to come today. I'm glad I did. "He kept them coppers on the run all that time. Fair enough, people died. But they must have deserved it."

Unemployed Kenneth Ingham and Peter Hefferin, both 18, said they felt sorry for Moat. Kenneth said: "I'd have done the same thing if I was in jail and my lass cheated on me."
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:14, 147 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

/facepalm

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I have officially cheered up now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I was in the fishmongers just now, and I saw a bag of frozen crab legs, fucking huge, the size of my forearm (but not as thick).
I picked it up, thinking "£6, that's a bargin, I'll add some of this to it", but that £ was a 2 and I was reading it upside down. In the end I got.
- Frozen crab white meat; special offer, from £17 down to £6
- Dressed Crab (so you get chunky bits, and a bit of brown meat, for more flavour)
- Parselly.
- Lemon
- another smoked garlic
- fussilini (I think it might work better than languini)
- half a bottle of white left over from Ma's dinner she made last night.
- Some single cream.

I'm basicly going to follow what you said, but add a splash of white wine and a splash of cream =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I'm adding parselly to the list

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

"Fair enough, people died. But they must have deserved it."
I kind of want to kick her children to death in front of her and then say "What? CLEARLY they deserved it, or I wouldn't have done it, right?"
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

We should totally do this

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

i dont fink days rite becuz jade totay didnt desve 2 die

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

By that turn of phrase
he obviously thinks that Moaty probably deserved it as well then. People died; yes, two people, Moaty and his exes bloke.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Haha this

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Weybridge has really gone down hill.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I saw the slack jawed bint interviewed last night.
Unbefuckinglievable. Although not quite as bad as the bloke who got banged up for 8 years for handling a stolen Shakespeare book, and on the same day, in the same court, someone else got 5 years for killing someone, with a possible sentence commuted to two and a half years.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I value antique books WAY above human life, if I'm honest.
Human beings are massively overrated.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

So does the law, it would seem.
It depends on the human.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Sentencing can be a joke at times

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I say I say I say...
What do you get if you whack someone on the head in an unprovoked attack, causing them to crack their skull and die of their injuries three days later?

I don't know your honour, what do you get if you whack someone on the head in an unprovoked attack, causing them to crack their skull and die of their injuries three days later?

Two and a half years! Boom! Boom!

eyethangyew.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Or nowt if you're in the riot police

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Very true.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

oooh controversial

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I tells it like it is
Sistah
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

You're a step away from snapping your fingers and doing the neck thing

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I bet he did it secretly when no one was looking at him.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I can do the Black Woman Headbob quite well
I'm going to give my children ghetto names. "HEY! Chardonnay! Krystal! Alopecia! Rwanda! Get yo' black ass over her this instant!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)

man I actually know a girl called Krystal.
she is the biggest tart.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)

You missed out Chlamidia.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Sold her off, didden-aye

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Depends on the coperation of the defendant to
pleading guilty makes a big difference.
Plus this wasn't just any book this is a piece of english history that was stolen from a University.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

In that case
anyone living in housing made from the stone taken from Hadrian's Wall should be publicly flogged for their complicitness in the desecration of a scheduled ancient monument.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Correct.
EDIT: Well...correct apart from 'complicitness' which you KNOW you just made up. Complicity, dear boy, complicity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I knew you'd agree Monty old chap.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Terribly sorry
I'm multitasking and everyone knows blokes can't multitask.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

What does it matter if it was any book or not
That guy wasn't just any guy. I'm sure his life was more valuable than any book. You really can't put a book above someone's life.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Unfortunately, in British law
property is valued above human life, acocrding to some ex copper on the radio this morning.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

It's very sad
There's something wrong with us and our laws, if we can't change something so obviously wrong.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I fucking can, you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Tell that to the bible/koran/blah blah

(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

But there's millions of humans and only one of that book.

( girlinthehole, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

No, there are about thirty copies of that book.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Well there's billions of humans so her point is still valid.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I do apreciate that the odds don't change much with that few copies.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Fucking hell!
Stop the internet, Chompy just agreed with Blousey.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

There are thousands if not more, of copies of that book
There is only of that one, that exactly, that only book.

There was one of that exactly, that only human being. There are not even copies of him anymore.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

There are not thousands of copies of the first folio.
Only 1000 were ever printed, and only between 230-240 still exist - and each one is individual from the next, which is how they proved that the book that was stolen was the one from Durham.

I'm not saying that a book is worth more than a life, far from it, by the way, but I am saying that the sentence given to the man for defacing a part of British (and literary) history for personal gain is bang on.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I would happily trade the lives of
'Jobless mum-of-eight Theresa Bystram, 45, and her three teenage sons' for that book. No question.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I'd trade them for a dog-eared copy of 'Where's Wally?'
That some Downs Syndrome kid had defaced with crayon.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

^This.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I would happily trade the lives of, etc
for a decent ham sandwich right about now, but I seriously doubt their collective worth is sufficiently high
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

too fucking right
I'd trade her life for any of the books in my collection.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

So would I
But I would make he read it all out loud, before letting her drop.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

you'd be there all fucking year
maybe start with the Hungry Caterpillar instead
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Ok,
I'll hook the trap door to a computer already programmed with the complete works, and if she stops reciting or makes a mistake, the computer trips the trap door, and then sends me an E-mail.

I can be at home with my feet up watching Dave or having a wank while I wait.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Don't forget you are talking to social retards who only know one or two people but have many books.
So of course they value books more highly than humans.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I think you're talking sense there
You have to be retard to value a book, any book, above a life.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Erm,... I have many more books than friends myself.
Three books in fact.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)

That's a lot of friends
if you have 2.

I have more books than friends myself, but then I love reading.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

In one case I did
The defendant pleaded guilty, then changed it to not guilty on the day of sentencing, then at the rescheduled trial (4 months later, and after Christmas), pleaded guilty again. Due to wasting the court's time, he was given a jail sentence and a fine, but he argued that his wife had terminal cancer, and he was her only carer, so the sentence was suspended, and his fine wavered...

Still, his lawyer would have cost him a packet, plus he's on the register now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I would have thought more of you Monty
It all hinges on potential in my opinion
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I heard that on the radio yesterday
There was a guy trying to explain why. The fact that the book was precious doesn't make it any better. Surely the live of that murdered guy must have been more precious than any old book.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I'm not defending criminals (besides working for a criminal defence firm of course)
but a lot of prisoners get what's called an IPP sentence, which means imprisoned for public protection. This means they have to prove that they are rehabilitated before they are let out, the sentence of 5 years or so is the minimum they have to serve. No one gets out on their minimum tariff, especially if they have killed someone.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I'm surprised you didn't show up with Gazza mate,
what with you both being dirty Geordies :D

/massive generalisation
(TheColonel, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Watch it Smog man.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

;)

(TheColonel, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/7922074/Raoul-Moats-prison-friend-tattoos-his-name-on-arm-with-wrong-spelling.html

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Some people are stupid
but it's not as many as you think, the media just hunt them out.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

And so should we

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

But they're the ones that breed the most.

( girlinthehole, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

You don't want the entire population to be smarter than you do you?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Most of them already are.

( girlinthehole, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

hurrr duurr derp

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

That's ridiculous
This whole Raoul Moat thing crossed the line from surreal to satirical when Paul Gascoigne turned up. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it had turned out to be a massive Jeremy Beadle-esque prank and Moat had risen from the coffin proclaiming "it's just a flesh wound"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

He could post the story on QOTW.
It must have hurt like buggery having your face blown off, while being tazered.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

People will do bloody anything to become famous these days

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Yeah
even ballroom dancing
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

and going on the weakest link

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING WHEN I'M RICH AND FAMOUS
if they ever fucking call me

Also, I'm not doing Ballroom to become famous, I'm way too old for that. Although, admittedly, if I'd started dancing young enough to be of a decent standard when Strictly started, I'd have done it like a shot
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)

If you get rich
You own me a dinner in a posh Japanese restaurant. Preferably in Japan.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)

WON'T WILL
RICH AND FAMOUS BOOTED OFF AFTER THE FIRST ROUND CRYING BECAUSE ANNE ROBINSON CALLED ME A GIRL
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

It took me a while
But oh, I'm laughing now :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Yeah, I'd cry if Anne Robinson mocked my masculinity
cos that NEVER happens

And there's no fucking way I'll go out in the first round, have you seen the mongs they have on that programme?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

ooh careful
pride comes before a very public fall on BBC2
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I know I shouldn't get too cocky
and that it's different sitting at home screaming bloody obvious answers at the screen than it is being in the studio, etc. But if I get on, I fully intend to win. My Dad only came second and he's been on loads of quiz shows, so it'd be brilliant to go one better
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Or say they're leaving
to get everybody's attention and then staying.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Worked a treat, didn't it
Remind me how it is that I OWE you dinner? Although I ever make enough money to take you to Japan on a whim, I bloody will
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Sorry
I keep having that one wrong... I'll practice at home tonight.

Well, you said you didn't have enough money to do it just now, so I'm waiting for you to get rich.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I wasn't mocking your English honey
it's a hell of a lot better than my Spanish. The emphasis was meant to enquire as to why I owe you dinner in the first place
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Can't be arsed to start a new thread, but how about a mac vs pc argument?
Imac's don't have ports for usb sticks. The monitor does, but that's not what I have attached to this computer. Therefore I hate them as I can't do the work I was going to do today.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

How about a Big Mac vs Whopper argument?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

No contest, it has to be a whopper.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I've never had a whopper
but then I've never had a big mac either, they're both too big.

Quarter pounder with cheese v bacon double cheese burger though, the one with bacon always wins.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Big Mac
Whopper's have tomato in (and onion?), which I don't like in me burger.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Ah, but you could ask for them to be left out.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Nah.
It's Bacon Double Cheeseburger at BK, or Quarter Pounder at McD.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

BDC XL at Burger King
Is the absolute nom.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Ha, fish and chips wins

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Steak V's Ribs
Home win methinks
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Is it a new iMac? Like, a flatscreen one?
Also, if it uses a mac keyboard, there are two usb ports on it, at the side.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Yeah it would be flat screen if it had a mac monitor attached
Standard keyboard, not mac
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Is it a Mac Pro rather than an iMac?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Says imac on the back of the monitor in the other room
Its a small silver box with a white plasticy top
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

That's a mac mini then
It has 2 or 3 USB ports on the back.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Com ca?
www.apple.com/uk/macmini/
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Yeah that's it
We have that and an imac here
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I want to work in this place now
Partly just because I'm still teh unemployed.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

^This
iMacs are built into the monitor.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Ooooooh I didn't know they were different. I'm sorry I'm not a mac aficionado

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

mac aficionado massive douche
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

You're a bad person

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

you love it

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Oh yeah
Crush my feelings Kitty, crush them!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Hinting that I'm a massive douche
Because I know about Macs? I'm not a fanboy, I use both Mac and Windows equally.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

YOU CANNOT USE BOTH EQUALLY
YOU MUST CHOOSE ONE! RARRRRGH

(I actually like macs, it's the iPhone I take issue with, I just wanted to argue)
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I have an iPhone too
It's a lovely device.
Windows machine for gaming and DVD ripping, Mac laptop for general use and DJing.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I take issue with the iPhone
Because everyone goes on/went on about how it was so much better than everything else, when in reality it had no more features than my Nokia, and was worse in many respects.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I love mine so much that I don't want any other phone
But I'm not blind to it's faults.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I don't care about the phone itself
it's what it does to people, the fact that it's always glued to their hand and you can't have a conversation with them because they're too busy updating facebook or twitter to say what an awesome time they're having ignoring the 3D people in front of them. I always pity the people in company of iWankers when they're uploading photos of parties before they've even finished, or posting to say how much they're enjoying the meal they're having, because they're obviously ignoring their friends at that point.

I'm aware this is a huge generalisation, but it's applicable to 90% of the iphone owners I know.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I find this rude too
But it extends to users of Nokias, HTCs, Blackberrys etc.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

it's true
I had a scrap with Wiggy when his HTC desire first arrived because he was on facebook all the time. And because he got addicted to that gay ass FourSquare thing where you sign into wherever you are all the time. Sooooo lame! And stalker-enabling.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Agreed
I don't like FourSquare as an idea, I don't want randoms knowing where I am.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

That is a massive generalisation.
But they're always right.

I have a jabscreen (Charlie Brooker reference) because it was cheap and, unlike the Nokias I've had for the past four years, doesn't crash three times a day.

It's still only a phone though.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I've had my little Samsung phone for over 2 and a half years
and it's dented and battered, but it still makes calls and texts and the calendar and alarm work fine, that's literally all I use it for. Wiggy gets mad because I forget about it and it runs out of battery.

Admittedly, it was very useful when we were on the narrowboat and it ran out of petrol and the lads all used their posh phones to find the nearest petrol station, but I also managed to glean the same information by asking the guy on the next boat. And in the end it turned out they were all wrong and my bloke was right.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I find Blackberry users are far worst than iPhone users at the stuff you just said.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

iWanker
Have you seen any of the new season of Futurama? There's a whole ep devoted to iWankers, it's brilliant.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I haven't yet, I'll get downloading it
FaceWanker
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)

TitWanker
wait, that's not insulting.

It's veh veh funny, Mom owns Eyephone, obviously.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I shall watch it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

That wasn't a hint sweetie

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I want to believe it is
My delicate ego demands this.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)

<s>not</s>
lolz
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

ports in the keyboard?
what madness is this?

Wiggy got given a load of promotional Windows 7 bags, pens and napkins, we're going to take them round to the house of iWanker we know and leave them lying around.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Why not have them there?
Saves reaching down/round to the base unit to plug USB sticks in.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I love a good reacharound

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)

When receiving or giving?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I was talking about computers
what are you talking about?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Anal.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

touche

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)

You're going to DiT's house?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Bazinga

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:52, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Erm, they have USB ports on the back, yes?
And why do you have anything attached, isn't it all built into the monitor? Also, they should have USB ports built into the keyboard.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Oh I see them now. They're obscured by a ton of other stuff plugged in
So still can't use it. Cunting mac
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Looking at the design of it
The ports are pretty badly placed.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

You really need to learn the "la la la, i'm not listening" method of avoiding such news reports.
You'll live longer
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Sound advice
This kind of report has more to do with reality t.v. and 'Britain's Got Talent' than news. It's just a way of saying 'look at this moron!' and hoping to provoke a response. Which it has, d'oh!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Really?
Really?

*speachless*
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

same here.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I like juicy peeches.

(TheColonel, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Me too
But they can be messy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Absolute scum.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)