Tell me how you met your loved ones. (partners)
I'm in a nice place at the moment.

I mean mentally and not my office.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:12, 224 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I was pulled out of one of them with forceps.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Silly boy.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Ah, just saw your edit.
Still without one of those at the moment.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Well where and how did you meet your last one?

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I had actually known her since we first arrived at university.
Over the course of our degrees, we even shared a flat for a couple of years, and I think more or less the whole time I had a little bit of a crush on her (well, when I wasn't seeing someone else). Even asked her out once but she declined.

Then, earlier this year and somewhat out of the blue, she sent me an email in which she asked me out. Naturally this was very flattering and I got very excited. Unfortunately, whilst things started out quite well, I eventually realised it wasn't really working. Hey ho.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

That's a shame.
At least you won't be thinking of what could have been.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

This is very true.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

:(

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I know hon.
Make something up.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I don't have one
*hangs head in shame*
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

At work
She used to be a developer in our office.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

A late developer?

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:17, Reply)

hehe
A Progress 4gl developer. The other is well developed!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

ZING

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Through work.
I interviewed her for a job which she got on merit. We got together at the end of her first week.

We have been together for a year, been living together for several months and we have talked about getting married next year. I am planning to propose before Christmas. She has already told me she will say yes.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Awwwww!

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

i know. Nauseating isn't it?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I love how you felt the need to say "which she got on merit"
you know us too well.

And congrats-to-be for the proposal.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Ta. Everyone assumes that she only got the job because I fancied her so I have to explain the merit bit every time!

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I like this

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 17:54, Reply)

at Oceana in Bristol, on the flashing dancefloor in the 80's bit

/coat
( zulu eh?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I hate that place it is evil

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:17, Reply)

yes
it is a little. not been there since I met her to be honest but it was lame then
( zulu eh?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I thought Odyssey/The Works/Syndicate
was bad and then Bristol gave us Oceana. At least it did you a favour though.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

We've got one of them in milton keynes
basically walk across the dance floor and you've pulled
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:19, Reply)

could be worse, could be chicago rock...

( zulu eh?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

or Reflex in Brizzle.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

The whole of Baldwin street can fuck off to be fair. Apart from the tobacconist.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I'm proud to say I've never been in it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I have met every single one of my boyfriends
shortly after getting stroppy and depressed about the lack of attention I'd been getting and going 'fuck it, I'm not going to bother looking any more.'
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

That's happened to me.
The last two people I've been with have been 1. met when I wasn't expecting it and 2. a friend of mine I didn't know felt that way.

For 2. I don't actually know if he really does or if he just wanted a shag.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I'm sad and alone *cries*

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Yeah right!

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:19, Reply)

sad and alone way too young and slutty to have a proper boyfriend
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:19, Reply)

This.
I can tell you how and where I met my current project though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Your university paired you up as lab partners?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Nah
He was one of the new people in my tutorial. We had to go to a syposium in which we sat in our tutorial groups and we sat together. He asked me out for a drink afterwards. And we choose our own lab partners.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

So you 'chose' him
As your 'lab partner'.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Didn't choose,
Just happened.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Oh I bet it did

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

LIES ON THE INTERNET
I've never even met you and I'm sure this isn't true.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

I don't have an other half, that's true.
But I'm not the slightest bit sad about it. If I feel the need for some, I know I can get it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Hehehehe!
You're fab.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Cheers love
Looking forward to seeing you again at the bash.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I would probably be less depressed
about being single if this was the case for me. However you might as well have found tumbleweed in my foof for all the action it was getting - and not for lack of trying on my part. Clearly I just don't have your natural charms!
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

charms whorish tendencies
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I imagine they help, yes
but even so, I could have been an absolute slag and not gotten any - men tend not to want to fuck fat girls.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

A mutual friend brought him to my Halloween party 3 years ago
and I got his number. I later drunkenly texted him about how hard it was to pee when wearing suspenders.

When they had left, he said to the mutual friend that he fancied me and the friend said (Psychochomp loves this bit) "Dude, everyone's been there". Luckily, he ignored this advice and asked me out for dinner and a movie.

We ended up going to Pizza Hut and then Blockbuster, it was beautiful. He moved in about a month later without me realising.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Moved in after a month - blimey. I though I was rushing it after 7 months.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

It just kind of happened like that, it wasn't scary
he was just staying over most nights and then eventually his mum refused to do his washing because she said he didn't live there anymore and I was like "why, where does he live?"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I'm steadfastly holding off Em moving in with me
I love having the place to myself too much.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

My gf is going on holiday without me in a month's time. Much as I love her I am looking forward to having the flat to myself for a week

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I love it
I had only recently started living by myself before I met Em, so still crave having the place to myself.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I think it's healthy for the relationship too.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

the relationship my xbox stats
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

I don't play computer games - find them boring.
I will spend the week eating exactly what I like, going to the pub and watching loads of stuff I have recorded on sky+ that she doesn't like watching.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Wiggy does that
when I'm not in he watches Battlestar in his pants and eats popcorn.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)

his my
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

eats popcorn has several Lords Prayer wanks.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

So did I, I was all panicky and commitment phobic about stuff like that
so it was never really mentioned, he just spent more and more time there until I got used to it. I do still enjoy the odd occasions when I get the flat to myself though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

At times I practically say
"So, you're going home after work tomorrow."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

haha aww poor Em
you'd miss her if she stayed away.

Wiggy used to go home for an hour or two a week to get his clothes washed until his mum stopped doing it. We have quite separate lives though, I'm out 2 nights a week teaching pole, he goes to his mates' house for a smoke which I don't really get involved in and then at the weekends we do stuff apart or together depending on convenience.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

That's just it, I don't know if I would
To be honest, someone has to be gone a LONG time before I miss them.

Em works a couple of late shifts a week, and seeing as she can't get home after then, it means she has to stay at mine. She doesn't see her friends on a weekly basis like I do, and has no other hobbies really.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

find her a hobby
I hear pole dancing is good.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

She has zero motivation to do so
But she's also switching jobs at the moment, so not the best time to find a hobby.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I was all for moving in with my boyfriend
until I spent two weeks on holiday with him. I could cheerfully have killed him to death several times a day, most days. This has...complicated matters somewhat.
/sigh
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

they do say the first holiday makes or breaks!
My best friend bought a house with her bloke after only a few months together and I thought that was just insane, but they've lasted. She used to go on and on about how perfect he was and I knew that would change as soon as she moved in with him, which it has, thankfully!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

He has no idea
but, as I said to Amberl the other day - he was an arsehole of goatse proportions for almost the entire two weeks. I've been on holiday with him before and it was never as bad, and certainly things have been dodgy since we got back. I just don't think I can stand to live with him now, and if I can't stand to live with him, thean should I even be with him? Bleh, doubts are horrible.
I think I need the waaaaaahmbulance. /eeemmmooooo
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I'll join you in that waaaaahmbulance
Definitely doubting relationship stuff, and I feel rather shitty for doing so.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

It's crap, isn't it?
You think things are ok, and everything is fine, then you remember just how much you wanted to punch them in the face, and oh look, they're doing that REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING thing again and complaining about you being a bit distant. Yes, I'm distant because I'm giving myself a hernia by internalising just how much I want to rage a bit right now, so if you could stop clinging that'd be great.
Aaaand breathe...
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

AMEN
*highfives*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I understand what you mean
I had an ex who lived quite far away so I would spend all weekend with him and then not see him for two weeks so you would think I would cherish the whole time I spent with him but I found myself wanting a break from him after a day or two so I realised that it didn't really have a future if I couldn't stand to be with him for long periods and as soon as I noticed that I think I mentally wrote off the relationship so he couldn't do anything right after that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Been there, done that
Although I did enjoy spending my time with her every weekend.

I'm pretty convinced that I like my own space too much to ever commit myself fully into a relationship.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Amen and high fives to this also
Especially since I've lived essentially on my own for a good 7 years. Although I fear that 'my own space' and 'too cold and dead inside to actually love someone properly' are interchangeable in my case.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Maybe in my case too
But that doesn't bother me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I was once like you two
my friends said I was cold and dead and incapable of love, and I thought so too until I met Wiggy, so I think you just need to find the right person and the right balance. Although I think I got fucking lucky because he puts up with all my lazy, high maintenance shitehawkery.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)

DTMFA

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Eh?

(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Dump the motherfucking arsehole?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Ditch the mother fucker already © Dan Savage

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)

holidays or working together are both good tests of a relationship

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:44, Reply)

That's very nice
I almost had to force my ex. Not because he didn't want (it was mainly his idea, as he was going to be homeless soon) but because he couldn't make his mind up for anything, and his parents didn't like me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Did he get in through the cat flap?

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

yup! I kept spraying him with water and swatting him with the newspaper but nothing worked

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Does he piss on the sofa too?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

he shits behind the curtains and then denies it

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

rub his nose in it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I say!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Like I said before your life is an indie movie.
Jealous that's all.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

it's got a dreadful soundtrack
he likes dance and I like metal.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

It's your life
but it's my movie! It will strictly be Tokyo Police Club, Modest Mouse etc.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

haven't heard of either of them.
Is the Tokyo one the one with that kid called Billy who has anime hair and looks like a girl? I love him.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

nah he's called Dave. I will post a couple of tunes on FB when I get in later. I think you will like them
and Modest Mouse. They are one of my favourites.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I'm always open to new music suggestion
unless it's from Monty.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

You classy bird.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

aye!
I would like to point out that not everyone has in fact been there, but I was a prick tease so gave the illusion of everyone having been there. Which is possibly worse.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Not that bit, I can't judge about being a tease.
The pissing with suspenders on bit.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Very ladylike

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

and pizza hut and blockbuster,
actually there's nothing classy about that story at all.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

what's wrong with Pizza Hut and Blockbuster?
It was the company that was important, there were no restaurants in our hometown and there were no good films on at the cinema.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Well if there was absolutly no where else to go then fair enough
but I doubt that.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

seriously, it's Blackburn
it's a dead town. The only restaurants were Indian (and I can't hack anything spicy), or the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet which is a waste of money for me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

one still has to pee even if wearing suspenders
but yeah I probably shouldn't have shared.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I'm also confused as to how it'd be a problem
But yeah, you shouldn't have, especially as you bang on about how you don't like crude or ladettes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Yes
I don't know either why it's complicated, but I've never used suspenders, so I wouldn't know.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

well, to put it bluntly it's because you can't pull your knickers down as far as you would normally
if you've got suspenders on because the clasps get in the way, so you have to hold your knickers out of the way so you don't pee on them, it's just faff.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Put your sussies on first!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:46, Reply)

^What he said
Women in porn can take their knickers off no probs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Plus
Quicker fucking with sussies on!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I don't like that look
plus it's not as comfy if you're wearing them for long periods because bits dig in and rub and stuff. No not rub in a good way.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I had no idea there was such a palava about them
But I only care that, on the right woman, they look fucking hot.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

*high fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

You men never appreciate the effort we go to!
I once got all dolled up in a basque and suspenders and stuff, all matching and beautiful and as soon as I walked into the guy's bedroom and took my coat off, he undid the basque and chucked it on the floor, I was livid! It cost me £35, it did not deserve 2 seconds' viewing and then the rest of the night on his filthy carpet. Hmph!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

That's so sweet!

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Awww
There really are no rules with ell oh vee ee
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 17:55, Reply)

through my roommates sister
she brought her over and as soon as I saw her I knew she had to be mine
well, it was actually her brother that came over but I new by looking at him she would be just as cute
I talked to my roommate and she set it up, brought her over the next night, we've been together ever since
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

this is your dog isn't it!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

That's a bit rude.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Sorry I got excited that I may have been right.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Calm down, Jeff!

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

A marmite dog probably

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

yes
I don't have a "partner"

I hate this thread!!!!!eleventy!!!one!
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

don't worry I've got a corker waiting to go.
Gotta respect BGB's love in thread though so will wait.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Don't, bobby, just go the gents' before it's too late

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

ha ha

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

The person I think I love/have loved the most was met in odd circumstances
and ONLINE.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

monty?

( zulu eh?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

How we met wasn't that odd.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Sexface

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Lampito and Monty sitting in a tree
D R U G I N G

(Yes, I know it isn't spelled correctly!)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Hahaha, it was before I joined b3ta.
It's not any of you lot.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

:(
But... but I let you vom in my bath! Doesn't that mean anything anymore??
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

I hear she lets a lot of people vom in her bath
if you knowarramean!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Nudge nudge, wink wink,
Say no more, say no more.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I love you.
But we've not made sweet, tender love yet.

Did we meet for the first time at that legendary manc bash? You were texting me feeling like a lemon as you were the only little 'un there at that point.
That night was fucking HILARIOUS.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Yet.
We met at Leeds fest for the very first time. And that night was hilarious, I think I cried laughing.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Oh yes of course it was
Me in my fetching orange vest...

I remember you screaming "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, THERE'S JUST SOMETHING WRONG WITH LONDON!" in the toilets after shit started to go down. I'm glad I was so entertaining, I just don't think ________ will be laughing so much.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

This is like have I got news for you.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I'll go for
"Society"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I was thinking "everyone else"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Psh.
Guess again.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Oh dear,
Was I really so loud during the pep talk?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Not as loud as I was during the blowjob talk.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

rec.humor.oracle.d

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

¿Que?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

He means
alt.binaries.simianfecalrubbing
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I was in Oracularities!
In about 1996.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I'm a priest, if you still get the oracularities
It's dying out, it's all bloody lolcats and youtube mashups these days.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

They get sent to my hotmail but I've not read them in years.
Such a shame, but something built on basic text and cliquey in-jokes can't last forever.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

It was a stormy night
the house rocked with wind, my trusty sidekick Watson walked on in.
"Wassup Holmes"
"Watson"
"There's a man here to see you."
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Jimmy Mortimer
it's a pleasure to meet you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)

She was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

The asymetric haircut suited you

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

ha!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

That much is true.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

She loved my love action...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Seriously though
I'm just out of a long-ish relationship and I'm getting into the swing of things again.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

the +ing of things again.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I suspect this is very correct.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

it's either that or dogging I suspect

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Tried swinging, didn't like it
I just stick to threesomes.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I would only ever have a threesome with a guy who would get it on with another guy now and then.
It's not fair otherwise.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

At work
I was going out with my ex back then, and was on an assignment in Cleethorpes. I had to go to the office to leave some drawings, and my ex came with me. I was deeply in love with him then, I wanted to marry him, but he couldn't decide.

I got in the office and my boss asked me to quickly explain this new guy how to go somewhere in Stockport, for a training course the next day.

He took me to his desk, and introduce us. Mark was looking at his PC, and when he turned, and I saw his eyes, I thought: "fuck, fuck, fuck; I'm going to end up going out with him, and I don't want to"

A few days later I learnt he was married, which made everything more confusing. After that, 3 years of painful trying not to think about him, feeling guilty for my thoughts, trying to break up with my ex a few times because "I loved someone else" (he thought that was an stupid reason to break up and I was too confused)...

I hated every second after I met him. Now I'm so happy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

awwwwww

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

That is really sweet.
And has actually alleviated my mood of wanting to stab one of the professors in the eye with a plastic fork.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I'm here to help
: )

It didn't feel sweet for those 3 years when I felt like cheating with my thoughts, and knowing that the only way we could be together would be if his wife left him (he was very much in love, and wouldn't do anything bad to her)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

And so where did you bury her?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Hahaha
No, I haven't done it, but for a while I wanted. She made his life a missery, making him feel guilty for having a new relationship too soon (remember, she left him) and taking advantage of him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:37, Reply)

*big cheesy grin*

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

HOME WREAKER

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

*wrecker

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

it's the thought that counts.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I felt like that for a long time too
But I know it's not true. She left him and has been taking advantage of him for a long time.

However, I don't know what would have happened if she hadn't broken up with him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Don't be silly you're not responsible for anyone else’s marriage,

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Well
He was spending a lot of time with me. Not only all the time at the office, but more and more of his free time. On my defense, I told him several times that he should go back home and spend time with his wife or she'd get upset (I think she was upset already, but he didn't like talking about it)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I am vicariously enjoying your happiness.
You are too lovely.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

You're too nice to me
I'm going to end up believing you :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

for someone who is as bitter as I am you are my kryptonite
but I like it.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Hahaha
I suppose that's one of the best compliments I've ever recieved. But I'm not green, sorry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

give it a couple weeks after the murder ;)

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I'm hoping I'll go blue
Or grey (I want to be incinerated and thrown to the sea)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I would like to be buried at sea I think
I would rather feed a fish than a worm.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Me too
Maybe a big shark.

I don't know if it's ok to just throw your body to the sea, as it'd float, that's why I think I need to be cremated first.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

who want's to eat ash for dinner?
Could just get put in a wafer coffin and let them nibble at it until it sinks and they have earned their meal.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Not bad, not bad
Still, it'll have to be international waters, I don't think you can do it near a beach.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

this is another one of those applying logic to a b3ta situation
which leaves me nonplussed.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

puke

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Met her walking home from the night bus stop.
Not sure it'll last though, she's starting to go off a bit and my housemate keeps asking what the smell is.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Use more house freshener thingy
And more plastic bags.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Freeze her

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

It's not going to work between us,
you've been so cold lately.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Eat her.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

acid bath

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I was at a bash
and got taken home, fed MASSIVE DRUGS and raped. All I can really remember is long hair, some kind of band tshirt and a faint sense of disapproval.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

That could be anyone on here.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

trudat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

sure, lots of people, yeah, let's say that

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)

On a conservation project I was leading
She was smitten fooled by my leadership qualities, and rugged good looks.

How times have changed.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Married eh?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

No, she was married before, and she won't do it again.
Even to me.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)

It was a big hill, bigger than any I'd climbed before.
The barely-trodden path was bordered by thick bracken, with bees lazily zipping between heather flowers. My legs started to ache about halfway up and I was panting like crazy from the adrenaline and exertion. I reached the top and looked out over the view as the cloud shadows raced away and the sun coloured in the landscape. Here, alone, on top of the hill, heart racing and wind whispering in my ears, was a perfect moment.
I walked to the end of the ridge and sat down to look at the panorama through my binoculars. Kites and buzzards circled in the thermals from the lunchtime sun. Harvesters kicked up yellow dust as they reaped, occasional bonfires thrust grey columns into the sky. I drank it all in, as far as the eye could see, sating my thirst for the great outdoors.
So absorbed was I in this visual feast, I hadn't spotted a figure walking up the hill in front of me. As it got nearer I could make out solid boots, a light Tilley and rucksack straps; closer still, near the top when they stopped to rest and turned to take in the view, I could see curves and long dark hair. She nodded and smiled as she approached, passing me to see the sights from the other side of the hill.
I unpacked my lunch and a bottle of ale and began to recharge in the glorious sunshine. After a few minutes I heard a shuffling behind me and a voice piped "Mind if I join you?"
We sat next to each other, the wind toying with her hair while we ate our lunches and enjoyed the sightly view. She gracefully accepted half of my beer and we talked genially about where we'd been that day, our lives, families and friends. From her smiles and open conversation I really felt like we were getting along.
Once fed, we packed and compared maps to see where we were headed. When she abandoned her route and accompanied me on mine, I got an unusual twisting in my stomach, but that didn't stop me from smiling at her as we walked down the side of the hill, together.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

*wipes tear from eye*
Its a speck of dust, honest
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

That's such a nice story
I didn't know you had a girlfriend, though.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I don't.
BGB told me to make something up, so I did. Enjoyed it actually, I'm in a fucking horrible mood today.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

That's how he's going to meet his new girlfriend.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

That'd be nice
I wonder where this prety girl is. Probably walking around at the top of some mountain thinking "If there was just a nice guy here to offer me a bit of ale"
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Awwww!

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)

This is your dog, isn't it.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

HA

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

ZING

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

At DiT's stagbash as I was too drunk to get to the train station
and the other alternative was staying at al's house, though he swears he cleaned the toilet.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I'm still not sure who got the best outcome that night

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:07, Reply)

If you had had your breadmaker back then
it would all be so different today.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

We could have gone back
turned on late night channel 4, I would have weighed out the ingredients while you opened a bottle of wine. We would have sat on the sofa and talked and after 35 minutes the high pitched beeping would have reminded us to add the extra sunflower and pumpkin seeds.

When the first bottle of wine was empty, we'd have opened a second and then, without realising who made the first move we would have been all over it, our hands tearing at it, not bothering with plates or cutlery, just ripping off hunks and smearing flora light spread with our fingers.

Finally we would have collapsed, panting, on the rug. Don't worry about the mess, I'd have said, I'll clear it up in the morning. Then I'd have got the sofa bed out for you and we'd sit there a while longer, watching the end of the Steven Segal film.

As teh credits rolled I'd have looked over and you'd already have fallen asleep, so I'd have reached over carefully and pulled up the blanket and brushed your hair out of your eyes before turning out the lights, getting my cock out and rubbing it on your face.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

lol

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I'm not sure I could do that with a man who uses Flora Light.
I'm more a Lurpak girl, know what I'm saying?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)

FILTHY

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Like this:
www.b3ta.com/questions/gooutwithme/post231567
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Fate is boss, Guv.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 17:59, Reply)

i met mine in the purpler turtle in reading
she started talking to my mate because he was gurning like a champ, i recognised the girl she was with, came up, started chatting, she decided she wanted to fuck me, i decided i wanted to fuck her, so i went home, made my excuses to my current 19yrold bellydancer gf (nice body, dumb as a shoe) that it wasn't working and blah blah, was single for a good 24 hours, then unsingle again. that was three years ago nearly. i'm moving in with her in our own place in a few weeks.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

that's sort of sweet
points for 'dumb as a shoe'
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

This is a pearoast from aeons ago
Well!
One wednesday (early evening) I went to a pub about 10 miles from my place because they had early evening food on and I couldn't be arsed to cook. At the other end of the pub was a group of ladies, one of whom I had met in a nightclub about 3 weeks before and given a lift home to (she was old enough to be my daughter so no naughtybadness ensued).
It came to pass that another of the ladies fancied the arse off me (her words) but couldn't find a way to get into conversation with me. The young liftee (keep up!) dragged her over to my table and a conversation ensued.
Coincidences were:-
Liftee had never been in that pub before.
Arse fancier usually went to another place to wait for her daughter to finish a dancing lesson but decided on a whim to change.
Arse fancier was not only someone I'd met 20 years before but she used to use my local.
Her ex boyfriend of 20 years ago, I went to school with.
Same guy, after they broke up, bought my late parent's house.
Her ex husband had been my apprentice.
Ex husband's older brother was on the same courses as me when we were apprentices together.
Her family know me from fixing their car at the roadside 2 years before on the way to cornwall, no-one else would stop to help.
Been together now for over 5 years, all from not being arsed to cook on a random wednesday.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 17:34, Reply)