When you're walking through the city
you see things at the side of the road, like broken umbrellas and discarded dummies. Some of the things are a little more odd, like single shoes. How would you lose a single shoe when you were out? Would you not notice you only had one shoe?

Yesterday when I was walking home there was a shirt sleeve at the side of the road. A full sleeve, from shoulder to cuff. I can't even think of a reason that might be there.

What's the oddest thing you've seen lying around? Tramps and dead squirrels don't count.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:19, 171 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I bet Lampito's ended a night with only one shoe

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I was going to suggest her as the oddest thing I'd seen lying around in a city.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

you're both mean
she's young and likes gin, what do you expect?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

to be punched in the face?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

that's a nice way to look at it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

You can hardly talk
I'm surprised she wasn't using you as a pillow
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

as a for your dirty +s
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

They are filthy.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

they're not dirty mama!
And that's why I was saying it was a nice way to put it since I've fallen prey to such exploits myself
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with waking up in an alleyway at 6am covered in sick.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Is that lesson one of the Lampito Finishing School?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

now that I've never done
I'm like a homing pigeon, I always find my way back to my own bed. Nor have I ever thrown up on myself or in my sleep
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)

It was a one-off for me, otherwise I always make it home. Even if I have to get off the bus every couple of stops to be sick a little bit more.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I enjoy the guided tour last time I was down
"And I got off here and threw up there"
"Oh and here, threw up in that bin"
"Oh and here"
etc etc
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I'm a classy chap.
Maybe I'll point out the alleyway at DG's bash.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Once at reading my friend left a pair of size 11 trainers outside his tent
the next day they had been replaced by
1x size 9 right black shoe
1x size 7 right brown shoe

Watching his duck waddle to the army surpluss store to buy some army boots was hillarious

/tedious post
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Why would anyone leave stuff outside their tent at a festival
Everyone knows the public are thieving cunts.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

He was pretty off his face

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I don't even like leaving stuff inside the tent, a zip is not the most secure of doors

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I often padlock my tent
but it's mainly to make me feel better than to actual afford any sort of protection.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I used to do this until the year some cunt neatly sliced along the zip to get in,
leaving me with a still-robbed tent that now let the rain in too.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

And this is one reason I don't go to festivals

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

this is the reason I don't take anything worth nicking

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

and because no one invites you

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I totally get invited
Like, all the time, to all of them.

Fuck off.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

do they go "oh hey labs you should totally come to the festival, we're all going"
so that you buy a ticket and then they go "LOL JK"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

*scowls*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

when I used to go to festivals I never took a toothbrush
let alone a tent. I used to stay up for days on end, or just kip under an army lorry or something. I also used to know people who'd take their coaches or caravans or whtever they lived in, so I would intrude on them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I once went to a festival without a tent or sleeping bag
thinking i'd either pull some ultra hot supermodel and sleep in her tent, do massive drugs and stay up all night or sleep out in the open as it was summer and warm.
I managed to make friends with a not so hot, not supermodel, not female group. They let me stay in their tent with them but I still froze my arse off and went out the next day and bought a sleeping bag.
I went back to reading festival for the first time in years after a break to get married and have kids and I fucking hated it, its worse than it already was in the late 90's and it was shit then.
( Peej, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I always regarded Reading as a 3-day gig rather than a Festival with a capital F.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:12, Reply)

It's basically "my first festival"
full of kids acting like pricks, still it's easy to get to and the lineup is usually decent.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Reading gets more full of cunts with every year that passes
they had a hair straightening tent the last time I went. Hair straightening. At a festival, for fucks sake. Pretentious little trendies the lot of 'em.
(berk, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Are you serious?
I would have firebombed that tent on principal.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Or wee on the straighteners
Fill the tent with the pungent aroma of your evaporating micturate and enjoy the screams as you zip the tent up and lock it with the padlock you previously stole from Al's tent.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:18, Reply)

This.
Thisthisthis. It's so annoying that there are these little teeny emo kids who religiously straighten their hair and do their makeup every day and carefully construct their outfits. Makes the rest of us look even more rough.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Well that would be a deterrant to most people at a festival,
it's a big step from opening a tent and nicking whatever's nearest the door to knifing a new door in the side.

It always used to bug me that people would steal those camping chairs from inside tent porches. Get your own damn chair!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

It really isn't a big step.
it's massively common.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

really?
I don't know anyone that's happened to, I thought, probably naively, that there was a kind of festival camaraderie. Maybe there used to be.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I guess it depends on the festival
Metal fests tend to have a lower cunter-to-punter ratio than, say, Leeds or Reading.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I was talking about Leeds actually
that's the festival I've been too the most, although I stopped going a few years ago because of the very same increased ratio.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Some of my friends work pit and lost property at Reading
They say that the ratio has been definitely tipping towards an increase in cunters with every passing year.
They get to camp in the VIP section though, so they're generally safe.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I went back to Reading for the last time in about 2002 to work backstage.
I wouldn't go near it unless I was in the VIP area. Just totally full of cunts and frankly always has been.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I dunno about "used to"
I stopped going to festivals ten years ago.

I believe it's better at glastonbury now as it is more or less impossible to get in without a ticket, and £200 is a lot to pay to rob a few sleeping bags. It's always been a terrible problem at festivals like Reading because more or less anyone can get onto the campsites, they only seriously bother with security around the arena.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Very true
and the security at Reading Festival are just hired thugs. I've seen them beating teenage girls with maglites with their badges covered up. When I tried to get their numbers from them I got a beating too. Bunch of lowlife cunts the lot of them.
( Peej, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)

You're massively common.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

How very fucking dare you.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

If you're talking about music festivals
seriously, don't. That just makes arseholes think there is something inside worth having, so they slash the back open instead.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

In my defence
I don't padlock the outer skin, just the inside door. But yeah, it is pointless. Still, I've never been robbed at a Festival.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

me neither, except for the aforementioned chairs.
Although I've always camped with so many people that there's usually someone about at all times, even when huge bands are on.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

big groups in tent circles is usually the safest.
But all festivals have several "professional" thieves operating.

1)nick big tent
2)put up big tent on opposite side of campsite
3)spend the rest of weekend robbing other tents and dumping stuff in big tent
4)sort out valuables at the end and leave the rest behind, in said big tent.

not being robbed is almost certainly more luck than judgement, although not having anything to steal in the first place is a good start.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

That's because no-one else
wants 15 blocks of catering lard and pair of XXXL y-fronts, Al.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

^lardlols

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

that wasn't tedious, it was funny

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I chased someone across one of the fields at glastonbury about 15 years ago
after he had taken something out of my tent while I was in it. It turned out to be my toothbrush. I, however, had forgotten that I was asleep and therefore naked. I suspect it wasn't worth the pursuit, on balance.

Still, the bloke who robbed me was off his face on acid, so I suspect a naked man rugby tackling him while shouting "what did you fucking take, you cunt?" probably scarred him for life.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Now now, I think we've established that unless you have a warrant
he didn't have to tell you anything.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

vigilante justice has no rules

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

has no +!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I have a universal warrant tattoo'd on my ballsack.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

small warrant

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

nah. Just needs ironing before you can read it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

also at a festival
Roskilde, circa 2002

on morning after the last day of the festival most people had already left leaving loads of stuff behind, so we went scavenging. Somewhere I have a photo of me dressed all in black, holding a broom, wearing a gasmask and with a Norwegian flag blowing in the wind like a cape.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

You must have looked epic
I do hope you were posing on the edge of a cliff.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

from the angle of the photo I could have been
because it was taken from near the ground.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I can almost hear
Immigrant Song.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

A dead cyclist squashed under a bus on Oxford Street a few months ago.
Selfish place to get killed - held up the whole of the St for ages and put me right off my lunch.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Isn't the driver being prosecuted for that?
Or at least A bus driver is being prosecuted for killing A cyclist, and I can't imagine they get squashed on Oxford St that often.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Not sure. I read the evening standard on the tube home most days but haven't read anything about it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

oh man that's grim

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I know. Extremely grim to be put off my lunch - how selfish of the cyclist.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

A badger by the side of the road.
not abnormal, except this one was lying flat on its back with all four legs rigidly in the air, and its tongue hanging out, and looked utterly undamaged. I'm still struggling to work out how it died to end up like that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

I was on a train the other day and saw a cow in a field in that position

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Mmmmmmm. Surprised beef. Mmmmmmm.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I bet it got up and went merrily about it's business as soon as the train had passed. The bovine prankster.

(Cave Duck, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Good to hear about a mental bovine again - I thought BSE had killed them all off.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Yeah, sales of "Inflatable Diasy" and realistic-looking plastic human shit are up 5%
And a new publication "Horny" is being launched for the bull-mag readership.
(Cave Duck, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

That reminds me of a Far Side cartoon

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I know the one you are thinking of

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Standing cows

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Car coming!

(berk, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Moo

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

extreme pleasure
it'd been at a badger orgy all night, and Toad of Toad Hall knows how to use his tongue,
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

^ very, very good indeed

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

thanks

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

maybe it had a heart attack
and it was just an unfortunate coincidence.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

It would have had to have been upside-down before the heart attack, though?
that, or it was a heart attack-with-backflip.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

that's the main symptom of a heart attack, it's how you know they're not faking it.
Jeez, I thought you were a doctor.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I stick to cells
whole people are a bit too complicated for my liking.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:21, Reply)

It was a young female badger that Bert had got hold of.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Driving up the A3
one day, I saw a fox hurtle across my carriageway towards the central reservation, only to get clouted by a car in the outside lane of the opposite carriageway. It went down in an explosion of fur and *immediately* it was back on its feet. It must have been instinct, though, as it went straight back down again and didn't get back up again.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

We don't have much litter in MK

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

You can't afford it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I once saw a seagull getting run over by an 8 wheeler lorry
Not overly uncommon, but brilliant due to the mass of feathers that seemed to explode into the air.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I hit a pigeon cycling last summer on a canal towpath
it thought that spokes were something you could fly through. I was doing about 20mph. Took fucking hours to get the blood and guts off my shins and I still find feathers in my front forks.

Although the family watching were amusing when the little girl went "daddy, the bird is OK, isn't it?" as I side-footed its remains into the canal.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I have been in a 2 seater plane
(I was in the air cadets) when a seagull flew in to the prop. It was exactly as bad as you think.
(berk, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

bad awesome
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

There was a local eccentric in Vancouver
Who used to go dumpster diving and once a week leave his finds on the side of the road by a disused car park, for people to help themselves to.
Every week would be a different theme. My personal favourites were Hawaiian, Disney and anything with a fruit motif.
( wanderlust, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

this is brilliant

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I once witnessed a sparrow trying to fly under my brother's car while we were driving along too
We saw it fly in one side, and then heard a loud thump as it flew into the inside of the wheels on the other side. Once again, a big cloud of feathers were viewed in the wing mirror.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

stop it, stop talking about squished birdies
you are actually going to make me cry!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I can't help it if birds have a tendency to die around me

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

maybe it's a good job
you're not moving to london just yet!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

It's not like I go around with a gun
Shooting them from the sky. My presence apparently just drives them to strange suicide.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

hence Penguin of Death?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

J'aime cette
Hopefully it won't spread to other animals.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

i was referring
to our threat to go out for a pint!

haha kitty well done.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Threat?
That doesn't make it sound at all creepy.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

it would be the best night of your life
and you know it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)

She is, she's like a female version of Chompy, all narrow eyes and rape.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

This made me shudder to my very soul

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

But she does have large breasts
so you could always console yourself with them during the raping.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I hear she uses them to muffle the screaming

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

this
is the rudest thing anyone has ever said to me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Why do birds
messily disappear
every time
you are near
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I've hit a pigeon at 70mph straight on the windsheild
it exploded in a feathery manner then rolled over the roof, flicked up ont he spoiler straight into the landrover behind me where it exploded again.

I gave it a 9.6
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)

when
i was walking home the other night (6.5 miles, ass-toning trainers /ac), i was too busy texting to look where i was going. this is because hyde park is a bit big and a lot dark when you are by yourself at midnight, so the iphone made me feel like i wasn't. anyway as a consequence of this, i fell over something that shouldn't have been on the side of the path in the dark. at all. something big and hard and rectangular. and sharp.

closer inspection with the iphone held over it revealed a television. dumped at the side of the path exactly where i chose to cross onto it from the mud. further inspection the following evening revealed a sign on it saying "TAKE ME, I'M YOURS." as far as i am aware, nobody has yet accepted this invitation to treat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

brandishing the iPhone will make you a brightly lit target though!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

i know
and having the ipod on means i wouldn't even hear the hammer-wielding maniac until it was too late. but still better than walking down the parallel road and breathing in all the fumes and braving the protesters who live outside the iranian embassy, those guys are mental!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Is this just a London thing?
If you leave something you no longer need on the pavement outside your house people will help themselves to it.

We got rid of a table & two chairs in a matter of minutes earlier this year and a mate of mine picked up an Arc welder worth a couple of hundred quid.

Never experienced this when I've lived anywhere else.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

We used to do it in Glasgow
It's how we got our sofa last year.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Not at all
I've seen it in loads of places.
(berk, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

A potty, complete with a steamer.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)

<tangent>
A customer who queried delivery quantities has just sent me a picture of their warehouse guy scratching his head and looking confused at an incorrectly marked pallet. Properly made my day!
/tangent
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

That's pretty cool!
Take a photo of yourself shrugging, and email it back.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

this

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

haha, this

(berk, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

This is the best idea I've not had all day.

( wanderlust, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Her vagina would obscure her shoulders

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

shrugging wanking

obvious strikethrough is obvious
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I was driving on the M25 south of Dartford
and I saw a family of ducks crossing, causing lots of cars to swerve. The sad thing is there was a solid concrete divider so there was no way they would get to the other side and I'm sure all the little fluffy chicks must have died.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT SQUASHED BIRDIES?
STOP MAKING ME SAD
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Oh shut up and help yourself to some ciabatta

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:02, Reply)

help fuck
to ragged with
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I saw a couple of deer today.
Live ones. Running free across a misty field.
Lovely.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

About 7 years ago
there was a guy in leamington who would stand outside his block of flats wearing a different piece of headwear. From what I can piece together he's stand out there from about 8 - 930.

Highlights included:
Village People Week (starting with the policeman hat and ending with a full indian headdress)
Vegas Showgirl Headdress
Flashing bunny ears

Apparently he got arrested eventually for being a pedo. Sadtimes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Excellent headgear. Shame about the noncing.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Ha looks like everyone has AB on ignore.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)

it's three threads down on /talk now

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Sssh! He'll hear you!
Edit: I say, I appear to be sandwiched between a pair of Amberls...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I just noticed that. I'll leave it
so your post makes sense haha
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Yes, I don't quite know how I managed to slip my post between both of yours...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)

post cock
s
+tits
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)

...it's almost as though the original double entendre wasn't flagrantly obvious enough...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)

She asked for a double entendre
and so I gave her one.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:28, Reply)

it's three threads down on /talk now

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Baldmonkey
Baldmonkey?
Bladmonkey
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

i needed to use IGNORE for the first time ever today
i clicked on the offending profile to do it, and could not see the ignore button anywhere.

so i gave up and came back here. then immediately felt like a total twat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)

You awful person

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Who!? Who!?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)

this dreadful fake geordie
and this bird-killing bastard
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Woo, personal mention!

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Wait for them to post then you can click it.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

There it is Rach ------------------------------------------------------------^

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:16, Reply)

you're mean

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:17, Reply)

and here --------------------------------------------------^

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

who was it who was it who was it?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I think the lack of response says it all

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:30, Reply)

it's even more irritating now
that their name is purple!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

DAMMIT SWIPE

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:32, Reply)

it's ok
your name is still blue.

did you see the subtlety of that insult?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:39, Reply)

No

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:41, Reply)

it implies
you were never interesting enough to click in the first place.

god, do i have to explain everything?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Yes

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

bees into what, now?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I don't get this
but it makes me laugh anyway
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:26, Reply)

It's an expression of confusion.
I'm not even sure of the root, but it's down to mishearing something. I'm basically expressing that I don't understand what you are on about ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

i thought it was homer simpson?
when he has sugar in his backyard and it attracts someone else's bees and the someone else has quite an esoteric way of speaking and accuses homer of being very clever and diabolical. after the tirade, homer says, "bees are on the what, now?"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

"in America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Classic!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

i love that episode.
"i nicked it. when you let your guard down. and i'll do it again."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:39, Reply)

hehe
it is a good one
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Maybe.
I first saw it on \board, pre \talk. When all of this were fields.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)