Do you agree with this?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/mobile/uk-england-london-11545519
Which unsuspecting members of the public would you sterilise?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:07, 176 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm not sure that I do
BUT the thing to remember here is that it is voluntary.
If it was up to me Kerry Katona would have had her fanny tarmac'd over a long time ago...
(berk, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)

haha lol for tarmac

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Form an orderly queue behind the steam-roller.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)

chavs
all of them. I think you should have to have a licence to have a baby, having taken an 'adequate parental ability' test.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

It's a sad fact of life
that the underclass of society is the fastest breeding group, while many educated people choose not to have children because they're more concerned with their careers.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

But there are a lot of people I know...
...who were born to "the wrong side fo the tracks" who turned out just fine. Sometimes people can break the cycle of bad parenting breeding bad citizens.

I try and repeat that as often as possible when some oxygen thief plays up on the train.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Yes
It's nice when someone manages that. Sadly, the majority don't.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

there was a film about that a while ago
called Idiot something. It was a good concept, although it was an annoying comedy with Dax Shepard in it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Idiocracy
I love that film
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I just found it too annoying
it made me want to punch them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

chill out lampito

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

But conversely
As long as they get the balance right regarding career and reproduction, the better education and more comfortable lifestyle means they will be able to be more selective about their partners, and their resulting offspring can be bought up with a better chance in life. The Morlocks, on the other hand, simply have to breed with anything that has a fanny and produce as many offspring as possible in the hope that one of their foul progeny will succeed in spite of its disadvantaged background.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Makes you feel quite sad really

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Yep. You go to all this trouble working through a good education to fight for a good job
when you could just be happily rutting away on the floor of a council flat with some scrawny, acne-riddled young oik who didn't even have the manners to remove his Burberry hat, whilst you turn your head every so often to tell your previous offspring to shut the fuck up and keep watching the telly, or just to stub the end of another cigarette and fumble another one out of the box nearby.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Considering how much drugs are supposed to make you less fertile, it's amazing how many druggies end up pregnant.
I don't agree really but there is a little Nazi part of me that does.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

all of them
I'd like it to be more of an opt-out process where a panel consisting of me and a bunch of yes-men review applications to be allowed to spawn.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I hate kids....
do you reckon I could pretend to be a druggie and get £200 quid? It seems like really easy money...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Ach, I'll do it for you for £150
*heats bitumen*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I'll pass thanks

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Sure?
I got the tar from nice Irish fellows who were doing driveways round here.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)

£200 to spend on crack.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Well I'd probably spend it on cider

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I might threaten to start taking drugs and get pregnant unless they give me £200.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I saw that,
and no I don't agree, there should never be a money incentive to have irreversable and technically unnecessary medical treatment.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)

What if someone offered you a grand to have your penis enlarged?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)

It's big enough thanks.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)

considering it gets no use
there's no point it being more than tiny. Is that what you are trying to tell us?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Tell that to the American film industry.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)

HIV checks aren't unnecessary.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I was talking about plastic surgery.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I thought you were talking about the porn industry, which is also in the news.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

"elective surgery" i think it's called
there's literally loads of things i'd love to have done - smaller nose, bigger mouth, higher cheekbones, chemical peel, tooth veneers etc etc - but i'd be too scared of it going wrong and only having myself to blame!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Bigger mouth = Moar cock

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

well the current one copes ok , thank you!!
but yeah i might get more offers of cock if i had a massive full pouty glossy lower lip.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Just as horny as ever I see!

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Smaller ego perhaps?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Oof!

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

you don't need surgery for that
just my romantic history
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Care to elaborate?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

no
i) too depressing and ii) everyone on here has heard it a million times before and won't thank me for repeating it. let's just say i am a broken shell of a woman trailing tatters of self-confidence and shattered pieces of heart behind her.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

But you've got some ace handbaggage

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

tatters of self-confidence and shattered pieces of heart breadcrumbs
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

this should not have made me laugh
actually i had a crumpet this morning, does that count?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

It definitely counts.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

it was lube-free though
i only had butter, which i hate*. so had to scarf it down completely dry.

* not strictly true but i am telling myself this because it is so fattening
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I have just had toast with extra dark thick cut marmalade
Which reminds me of my favourite insult:

"I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread the other day but then realised it said thick cut"
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I saw a thing the other day that said that you absorb less fat when eating dairy products.
It must have been true because they made Alex James send his shit to Holland for analysis. Arf, analysis.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Everyone should have a bit of crumpet in the morning!

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

This thread is turning into a Carry On film
Circa 1973

rachelswipe is Barbara Windsor AICMFP
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Excellent!
I'm waiting for that bit where she flashes her tits.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

That makes you Sid James!
I've got to pick between being Bernard Bresslaw or Kenneth Williams...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I claim Harry H Corbett

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Heh heh heh heh!

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

couple of months ago
when i thought the fact that kitchen was dark would be sufficient to hide me from the stupid man who was inexplicably up in the flat opposite at 3am, but i forgot that as soon as i opened the fridge to get a bottle of evian the light would come on.

he probably assumed he was having a nightmare, so it's fine.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Oh matron!

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I have probably traumatised several of my girlfriend's over-the-road neighbours
by wandering about in the nude after taking a shower early in the morning when it's still dark, then having to put on the light in the spare bedroom to find where she's hidden my socks.

Not to mention my own next door neighbour who was cutting his grass and must have seen me coming into my living room one day, unclad.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

This has happened several times
luckily the windows in my new room are frosted over
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I had an incident a few years back when I thought we had burglars...
...I crept downstairs stark naked, but armed with a cavalry sword. I didn't find any burglars, but I woke up my then g/f who switched on the landing light just as I was walking past a large window, sans curtains.

The neighbours must have thought we went in for kinky sex.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

All this accidental exposure
is however worth it because of the pleasing nature of being able to walk around unclothed in one's own house.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Really?
Well hello there.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

oh hai

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

But where does one stop?
These days Joan Rivers is one lift away from having a goatee beard.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

horrific imagery.
well done!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Yay!

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I remember a programme many years ago
One of those 'audience with' type of things, with Dennis Taylor. He used the same joke about Joan Collins. It still makes me laugh, so thanks PJM for reminding me!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I know I'd heard it before...
...but I didn't realise it came from an upside down specs wearing waistcoat afficionado.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I'd need a time machine...
...and I'd have Mr & Mrs Blair fixed circa 1950.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)

And presumably
Rev and Mrs Brown too?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I'd go as far back as to visit Grantham and sort out a Greengrocer there too...

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

no, not really, can't say i do
but then again there are LOTS of people who should/should already have been sterilised.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)

If I'm allowed to carry out the procedure myself by hoofing them repeatedly in the genitals,
the list will be nearly endless.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

with a gravel?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

One testicle for the gravel, one for Mr Boot.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I have a friend called Mr Boot

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Does he like bollocks?
Otherwise this kind of mix-up will be unfortunate.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

He'd probably come along to kick some people in the nuts

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I wouldn't sterilise anyone involuntarily
but I'd be happy to perform the honours for several people I know
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

some of them might be better being castrated
bob crow, for instance. or michael buble. or richard madeley.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Good idea
*sharpens garden shears*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

ITYM "blunts"
don't let them off lightly.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Sounds like a plan

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Too late for Bob Crow
You could chaff his bollocks off and he'd still be a cunt.

A better bet would be to batter him repeatedly over the head with a Hornby trainset whilst inserting model track up his nose and screaming "This is going to be the last railway you wreck, you workshy, overpaid grunting little turd".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

What a waste of a Hornby train set though.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

It would be a shit one...
...something like a Thomas The Tank Engine special or something.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Ah, well that's OK then.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

why not just use a real tube
they're knackered anyway. i nominate the district line, shittest of all the lines.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

As in "insert a real tube train up Bob Crow's rectum?"
sans lube, naturally.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Anyone - and I do mean anyone -
who picks up a phone and votes for any given contestant on either the X Factor or Strictly Come Dancing. The former for thinking it'll make a blind bit of difference who wins, and the latter for their consistent inability to recognise what constitutes good dancing.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

WIDDECOMBE FTW

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I actually hope she does win
if only because it'll highlight just how far removed from a dance competition the whole farce has become. I mean, she can barely walk
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Nah
Surely the general public aren't that stupid?

*hopes*

Someone like Matt Baker or Pamela Stephenson should win, being at least decent* dancers.

*in my uninformed opinion. Please feel free to counter this with reasoned argument.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

No, you're right
Matt Baker is a natural and Pamela Stephenson has either had dance lessons before or is some kind of miracle of nature, I've never seen a 61-year-old woman of generous proportions pull off lines like that with so little training.

Either Matt Baker or Scott Maslen will win, because they're exactly the sort of bloke Strictly viewers like, and as with the last two winners, their employment at the BBC will ensure that rules are bent/broken to keep them in the competition til the end
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Internet shut-ins

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

we're not the ones in need of sterilisation
for precisely that reason
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Not true
Just look at World's Greatest Father, Friz.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

If someone gave me 200 pounds
I'd probably opt for sterilisation as well, and wouldn't that be a relief
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

God knows I'm not sadistic enough to bring someone with half my genes into the world

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

That
plus I'd be a shit mother. I'd get myself sterilised anyway if I could
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Hi, everybody
I think I'd sterilise all rapists and sex offenders. No jail for them, but sterilise them and give them community service.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I don't think that would help.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

They'd stop raping
that'd help.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

it's possible to rape someone
even when sterilised/castrated
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Unless you went further than mere castration
and cut off their cock.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I was talking more along the lines
of rape being a power not a sex thing. In which case conversely there are cases of being people who are impotent causing more damage to the rape victim than those who aren't
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Usually
the sexual desire desapears with castration (like happens with dogs and cats) It could be that some men won't feel the difference, but most of them won't feel like having sex again.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

see wookie below though
since rape is not primarily about sex, it doesn't matter that the offender isn't that interested in sex
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

It also causes crushing depression.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Awww, did the lickle rapist feel sad?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I was thinking more of the two articles I read about it
Alan Turing and a eunuch who realised he wasn't ready for life without his balls.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

At school a couple of my friends took great pleasure in greeting people with the phrase "eunuch nice today".

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)

That would have taken ballls.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Rolling your L's there, nice.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I like to get my tongue around things.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

It's possible to rape someone with a foreign object in any case.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Looks like the death penalty is the only other option then.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

nah
the death penalty is always wrong. I think the prison sentence in place at the moment is the method that's needed (though the length is wrong)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Well this is cheery

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

what, like a souvenir of the eiffel tower
or a ship in a bottle from the cayman islands?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Given that rape is (usually) about dominance rather than sex, they really wouldn't.
And removing their ability to reach a climax is quite likely to increase the violence of their attacks.

Assuming that by sterilise you meant castrate, of course.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

mindpiss :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I may have spent too much time watching Criminal Minds.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

It would certainly cut down the rate of reoffending.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

By sterilise you mean chop off right?
or maybe hire a pack of angry racoons...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Morning.
I'd sterilise Monty, but let him keep the £200.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Monty has already bred though
YOU'RE TOO LATE JEFF TOO LATE
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

where IS monty today?
this place is poorer without him
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

What have you done with him?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

he's still tied to my bedstead
it's iron so it should hold him a while.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

He'll enjoy that.
It must be more fun than being forced to lick-clean the carpet in the spare room!

A story that still shocks me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

ugh I hate people rubbing their hands over carpet
licking it makes me feel sick
*vomits on carpet*
*monty licks it off*
*vomits again*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

You'd love that.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)

and me
i am tempted to put something about it on facebook, worst of all the burns, but then the mutual friend would just get into trouble.

foul incontinent bitch!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)

What is more amazing
Is that you said you fell out over something completely different.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)

well yeah
i only found out about this episode more than a year after she moved out!

we fell out because she felt i didn't pay enough attention to her wonderful new boyfriend even though (i) she brought him to my birthday party to introduce him without asking; (ii) they sat and snogged all night (they were 38 and 40) so noone wanted to go near them; (iii) then they had a big row; (iv) he happily let everyone buy him drinks all night despite not knowing anyone, and never put his hand in his pocket once, and in this bar the beers were a tenner each; and (v) they split up a month later. this was the final straw after a lot of selfish behaviour on her part, so i just stopped calling/texting/emailing her as a result!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:24, Reply)

What sort of idiot chooses to go to a bar where the beers are a tenner each?
Was it a clip joint?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:28, Reply)

fairly typical for a fancy bottled beer
in some bars round here, sadly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I still use some pubs that'll sell me a nice cider for £1.45 a pint!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Morning TFYOFSTGB
Question for you:

If you decide to have a little nap, or doze off whilst watching the telly, will you miss a whole nights sleep so as to keep your name on here correct?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I like the fact the end of my name still spells out TGB
And I'm at work all day then when I get home it's not that long till I go to bed anyway. SO I reckon I'll be fine
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I think you've just put yourself under a lot of pressure with the four sleeps claim.
You know that if you get up in the night to have a wee, that counts as a completed sleep, and going back to bed again after starts a new sleep. Thems the rules.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

My young bladder means I never get up in the night
Old man
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)

For now, Maybe.
But I still maintain that your four-sleeps claim is excessive.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

why?
I will probably sleep from midnight to 730 for the next four nights

AS I ALWAYS DO IN THE WEEK
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

You'll be too excited to sleep on Thursday
And therefore you'll keep waking up in the night.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I'm already having difficulty sleeping : (
*skips*
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:17, Reply)

ha ha ha
You sleep in a skip!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)

This means I have at least 12 sleeps to go

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Monty should have more kids, not less.
It might sort him out.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I'm just trying to find him a couple of hundred quid!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I reckon most druggies would do it for half that amount
Isn't Enzyme some sort of Medical Ethics guy? I'll share whatever opinion he has because I dont give a fuck don't feel qualified to comment.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Just because it's ethical doesn't mean it's always right.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

or unethical and wrong...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I think it's sad, both ways
But I'm not very coherent at the moment and can't make a lucid argument.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Lampitooooo

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Maxxxxxxiiii
take a nice lady on a date to see the otters, and (metaphorically) FUCK THE EX.

this message should have been in the last thread but it was dead by the time I turned up
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Why let that stop you?
It doesn't normally stop Melanie Phillips or Richard Littlejohn, and they get paid for it...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Well, I failed to argue last night that using Jack Wills brand condoms waives your right to a working penis
I'm not very sharp at the moment.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I still haven't checked to see if my ethical free range condoms are still in date.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:18, Reply)

My stash is just a testament to how dreadful I am with men.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I don't even own any
take that as a testament to how things have been
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I bought a load and my boyfriend dumped me that day.
Two things that were unrelated but I was NOT HAPPY.

And then I have buckets from college.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:26, Reply)

buckets?
Your vagina must be even bigger than mine
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

They're actually for putting over my head
To make sure my parter wants to shag me.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:28, Reply)

i always buy a new box with any new bloke anyway
you don't want to look as if you have a half-open box and therefore shag anything that moves, regardless of whether it is wholly true, partly true, or not remotely true!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I just take them out of the box and store them in a bag/tin

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Superb idea,
especially as Catface is too young for a vasectomy on the NHS. Saves us going private and nets us £200 quid if Ibig up his current Vicks habit.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

blind ones.
First welsh lecture done. Da Iawn!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I mowed Da Lawn yesterday
I know that "Heddlu" means "Police" and "Ysgol" means "School"

Useful if I ever wanted a welsh copy of Police Academy.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)

why would anyone want
a welsh copy of police academy?

there is a flaw in your plan.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

It might be funny in welsh
might be.

I don't know how to spell it, but "Mine fleen da-vee" means "I'm sorry" in welsh.

I can see wales from my office window.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

oh. is it all green and full of fresh air?
from my window i can see: another office block and the technology and construction court, a division of the high court. and a lot of grey.

although the view from our roof terrace across the whole of london is amazing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I would post a photo I took a while back
but B3tards uploader seems to be borked.

Yup, it's all green fields. No cows today though.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)

how do you do any work
for staring out of the window thinking about skipping through the fields and having a picnic though?

i'm bad enough with the shops on fleet street, and they are no more exciting than boots and waterstones!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I don't face the window (that would be too distracting)
but I grew up surrounded by fields and still live in a village, so I don't really notice all the rural beauty.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

i still love london
but i really miss cheshire and all that nice green stuff. i reckon i've got about another 2 years of city living in me, maybe...

see, your whole village life/garden/chicken setup sounds pretty idyllic, i am jealous!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:50, Reply)

The closest I have come to city living was my 3 years at Reading uni
I remember when I first got there, the traffic fumes gave me a headache.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)