I refuse to join a thread with baldmonkey in the title.
I was going to do loads of work today but I haven't......again.

I'm planning to travel around the country next year visiting and annoying btans with my lack of relationship woes. Who wants to sign up to have me?

That's have me visit, not have me in the biblical sense.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:22, 196 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh, well since your edit, I withdraw the offer.
Edit: I could probably put you up in Battersea. Great views of a park full of dogs and the "iconic" power station.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I COULD BE PERSUADED.
Edit - Battersea dog's home?
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Excellent, I'll dig out my Bible.
Not quite. I'd have met Jeff by now if it were.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Work? What is work?
Sounds good to me. As long as you're aware that the amount of emo relationship angst that will be present in the same room is beyond legal maximums
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

That's a good, positive, long range outlook on life

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

damn right
you're welcome to a room however seriously BGB. Have a look round the town that is currently my home
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

I read that as Maximinimus and was like "haha harsh"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

haha that is a much better reading of it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

oh yeah, if it's going to be like this then don't come
I already live with two of those
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Depends when, obviously
but you're welcome to stay in Birmingham, although I suspect both Labs and LiC have bigger flats and more space to put you than I do!
(berk, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I live about 45 mins away from Brum
But am happy to put BGB up.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

I'll armwrestle you for her
seriously though, I'd be happy for BGB to stay as long as she doesn't mind that my flat is teeny tiny
(berk, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I can sleep in the foetal position.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

+ on my cock while my current girlfriend cries at the awful way in which I broke up with her.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

YEAAAHHHH!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Have you decided yet?
I suggest just changing your relationship status to single on facebook.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

That was a suggestion
I could then get on to Failbook.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Cook her a romantic candle lit meal,
at the end take her hand, say "I think you both know what I'm going to ask you now"
Then say "please leave"
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

*officelol*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

mindpiss

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:44, Reply)

fucking love this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:44, Reply)

That's not very nice at all.

(berk, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:37, Reply)

This is advice from B3tans, we're hardly going to suggest giveing her a kitten with a bow round it's neck
and the writing on the bow says "Get out of my life, I find you physically repulsive"

Although, that's a bloody good idea.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

this is my new favourite

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

nah you want the tag to read
'I find you physically and mentally repulsive in every way. Nice of you tattoo my name to your face though'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

"cute kitty says 'you make kitty sad'
'now fuck off, cocknocker' "
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

It does the job though

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Wait until she's with her friends
say "hand's up who's got a boyfriend?... not so fast [girlfriends name]"
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

oh fuck
I said this to him yesterday. I don't like thinking like you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

It'll shatter your tiny mind.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I suddenly want to have non-consensual sex with the next person that walks past

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Wow, anyone just see how fast Psychochomp shot up?
MK's answer to Usain Bolt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

that would be consensual
silly lab
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Kitty wasn't specific about who was not consenting

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

TRUE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Stop being funny bitch.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I rather like the idea of
taking her out to dinner, buying some red roses and getting ready to ask the question. Then when she does something wrong in a minor way (spills champagne a little, or uses the wrong fork) telling her she's dumped.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Or just say you're going to the toilet and then leave her with the bill.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

That's pretty good
taking it a step further to the edge of pyschological breakdown, actually propose and offer her a plastic ring. Then laugh and say just kidding I want us to have an open relationship.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

+ but without you in it.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)

even better
or for variant number 2 'I'm getting married to another woman, but on the plus side there'll be babysitting opportunities in the future'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Yowch!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I'm getting this being mean
thing quite well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

teach me!

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

ask her how she feels about sister wives

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

My house is technically uninhabitable by humans
Although in the next 12 months I might have fixed the worst of that.

fixed the worst of that burnt it down and started over.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

If you find yourself in the westcountry
feel free to visit Vipros
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

that offer is not open to you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

yeah but only because your bird would batter me

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I'd quite like to watch that...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)

haha
Lucy...you will go on my first whistle.

Kitty...you will go on my second whistle.

3...2....1
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Can't I have both?
I'm also contemplating Manc Bash. Though obviously youth hostels will NOT be involved.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

yeah, fuck work
I'd have you visit me but I live in the same state as He Who Shall Not Be Named.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Voldemort?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:26, Reply)

worse.
ginger.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I doubt we'll bump into each other.
I hear he's on a short leash.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

he's also a hundred miles away

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I live in Nottingham

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Thank fuck because I'm not going anywhere near Milton Keynes.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Good luck it's a major transport hub.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

transport hub disappointment to all but the most cretinous of visitors
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

i am driving up to cheshire
rather than getting the train this weekend mostly to avoid even passing through that dreadful yellow tiled station.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

It smells of wee-wee and desperation.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

no, that's the residents

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I'll buy you a beer in Bristol or Wales

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

?
Is that welsh.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Pencil case typing again I'm afraid

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

as will I
although bristol isn't all that close
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I will*, with pleasure.


*in both senses.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Keep your mitts off
you have one, some of us here are still single you know
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Oh, go on then. If you insist - no punching though, please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I think you have me confused
with a mutual friend of ours.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

My ears are burning.
ears are minge is
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)

try Canestan

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Try not letting every passer by stick his cock in your fanny first.
Then try canestan.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

if you used Canestan Al
you wouldn't be such an irritable cunt

/I'm not sure if that's the medication I mean
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

It's a bloody good job I have morals.
That is all I am saying on the matter.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

oh, my friend just told me she isn't sure if she wants to be an evil fairy for halloween...or a sorceris

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

A sorceris? I don't get it?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Oh come on
that's quite clever and deserves recognition.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Look, I'll explain it
there is a meme of:

RIS? I don't get it?

And what I've done is used the misspelling or sorceress which included "ris" at the end, to play on this meme. It's like a pun.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Or - as I read it -
Source O' Ris.

Pretty much the same joke either way. I'll shut up now.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Both please.
Although I'd imagine there are plenty of Londonists offering.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I'd break you like a twig and you know it.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

know 'd love
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

nor me
although i really should be doing. apparently over in west london my squatters have just turned up to court, poor trainee is shitting himself. oh well. much rather he gets beaten up by druggies than me.

meanwhile i have just obtained a cd from my friend with some really good pics from sat night. so good that i might actually break my own laws and upload a couple to facebook. BUT if i wanted to crop one so i could use it as a profile pic... (i) would that look like i am actually dating the other person in it (she's not my type) and (ii) how would one go about cropping part of a picture????

i have quite a lot of crashing space for out-of-town b3tans at london bashes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Upload it as a profile pic, it then lets you crop it through FB

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

hang on, walk me through it
how do i upload it as a profile pic, is that just a fb option?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Hover your cursor over your profile pic
Click on the 'Change Picture' text that now shows.
Follow the instructions.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

you are very good
thank you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

You're welcome

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:46, Reply)

if you upload a pic normally
then choose it as your profile pic it offers an automatic cropping tool that you can adjust and resize
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

excellent thank you
and you don't think it'll make me look like i have become a lezzer if my profile pic is me and my friend evie??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

definitely not :)
big percentage of people's profile pics are just them with friends
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Depends what you're doing in this picture.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

in the ones i am amenable to sharing with the public
nothing.

some of the slightly wilder ones got accidentally deleted over lunch, my finger just slipped.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Evie has her legs apart and is rubbing her clit
and swipey is inserting a massive double headed purple dildo into Evie's vadge whilst rimming her.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Sounds like my graduation photo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

From what, the School of Hard Knocks?
Gerroutofit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Too easy to leave
kn +c
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I really thought we were friends.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Yeah, Bum Chums

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)

remember our adage,
about friends telling you the hard truths of life?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Hard truths, yes.
Not 'hard cocks'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

they go hand in hand
or hand fist in arse glove to use terminology you can understand
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I can't believe you're being like this,
after the special times we've shared together.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I could piss Lampito off
and reference De Amicitia here.

But instead I will apologise with tears in my eyes, and promise never to tell the truth
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)

wtf
just because she is blonde and i am dark and we both have DD cup breasts, your mind comes up with this kind of sick filth?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)

*pops off for a crywank*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

*hangs head*

*wipes off head*

*puts head back in pants*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Hahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

you're going to be v disappointed
if i can cope with this technical bollocks and manage to upload it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Nope
Unless I'm a lezza.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

LEZ-BEEN!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Nope.
Totally straight.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Charmander!
*hearts*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Charmonster
lolololol you're creepy :P
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Totally fucking creepy
and you KNOWS it clart.

Also, way to ignore my FB chat this morning.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

*She is fitter than a butchers dog though.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

wait a minute
you are seriously perving over the photos of someone you have never met because they happen to be friends online with someone you met... online?

who would do that?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I've met her
thank you very much.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

it still does not excuse
marauding through her friends on facebook looking for quim.

shame on you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

In a pub
without having prior stalked her.

It's not like I message people on here about bikes and stuff, right?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)

ssssssh!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Oh no no no no no no no
Himjim's met FHSP. Fo reals.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

oh
oh well. i can still call him a facebook stalking twat if i choose!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)

What does FHSP stand for?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Flame Haired Sex Pot
And Lord is it accurate

*rubs thighs*

*howls at moon*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Fuck me, she's a slammin' hottie

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

FB chat only works in Opera, I had Chrome running though for b3ta. Sozbbz.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Or you could open the picture in Paint
select the bit you want, copy it to a new paint window. Save as a new file. And then you only upload a small file.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

and "paint" would be???

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

*puts head in hands and sighs*

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

i am shit with computers!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

am like to
with into
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Who doesn't?
*brownloads file*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

m o n t y . . .

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

'Brownloading'
I like your style!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Illegal brownloading, no less.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Back door access, I presume.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Using a 'mirror'.
It's all very 'Mark Oaten'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I'm totally imagining swipey squatting on her desk
in a pair of quite wonderful, but infeasibly high heels, tights round her ankles, miniskirt hitched up, black jacket buttoned around a straining bosom just desperate to escape from the clutches of the tight white shirt she has on, curling off a cleveland steamer onto her keyboard.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

O_O
My lunch is now a feature of my desk.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Well, that was both vile and wonderful at the same time

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

replace tight white shirt
with emerald green jumper and you're bang on the money, kid.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Green and brown
go so well together.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

her keyboard a granary bap
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

...serving up a 'bot dog'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Bot Log, surely
That she freezes then uses as a nightsoil dildo
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I'd offer a place, but I'm not even sure where I'll be next year!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Prison?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Nah, am considering upping sticks and leaving cheshire, but am not sure where to

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I've heard that the streets of London are paved with gold

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

I heard it was Lawyers?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

London is paved with lawyers?
Eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I'm not sure where I was meant to be going with it either...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Replaced 'paved' with 'clogged'
and 'gold' with 'australopithecine fuckwits'
and you're pretty much there.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)

i am guessing it was a dig at me though!
just a little one, not like a clown or a rabbit or anything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)

How about a rabbit clown?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I didn't think Smacklesfield counted as Cheshire

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Well, it's a district of Hell

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

burning in hell
with your pictures of clowns and bunnies and bunnies dressed as clowns?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Yeah! because I'd definitely be done for grooming young men off the internet.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I'm 22, you wouldn't get into any trouble
You could be my 3rd!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Smooth.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Thank you
I'm not even sure how the first 2 died either!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)

he lives in macclesfield
the first two were clearly his sister and his gran.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Just because you're from Wilmslow
Your first was probably a serveant, paid to do so!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

She had seperate servants for foreplay, vaginal sex, anal sex and rimming.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)

i've never paid anyone for sex!
yet
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)

yeah, we know, daddy pays for everything

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

haha
eeeow
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

HAhahahahah
POTD
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

It was Mummy and Daddy dear
He didn't really love, nor want to be with you, he simply wanted to make ends meet (fnarr)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

yeah yeah
rub it in why don't you?

no, not there.

not there either.

jesus, have you ever actually done this before?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

It's been a while
The last one was a size 28, and smelled like eggs
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)

welcome to macclesfield

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

He says three times
but I say if they are unconscious then it doesn't count.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)

frotlols

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

but he's so pretty

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)

*blushes*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

If I want to have sex with someone who looks like a girl then I'll have sex with a girl.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

ridiculous post is ridiculous

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)

How about if I wear my summer gear?
Makes a change from a dress at least!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Oh.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Unlucky, 'Dame Edna'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)

And I thought I was getting somewhere with those specs...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)

This is a maxim that has served me well all my life

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:07, Reply)

...until that rather confusing Bangkok holiday.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

It's hard to see an adams apple under UV lights.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

lolirony
But anyway, yeah', I'd love for you to come 'round, maybe with T&DG, and I'll put on a Come Dine With Me thing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Oooh oooh can I do the sarcastic voiceovers please?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Definitely.
Biros you in calender.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

You can stay with us in Bristol
(whether you'd want to, what with catfaceceilidhbaby's sleepless nights, is another matter).
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)