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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Since we're already talking about sex and whatnot
what's a deal breaker for you, both in the sack and out of?

Out of it's bad breath, I couldn't bring myself to tell them about it so there's no way it's getting fixed.

In the sack it's being thanked. IT WASN'T A SERVICE.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:25, 236 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Oooh. A thread where I might learn something.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:26, Reply)
I have had women agree with me about the thank you thing
it just makes it feel like you've done them a favour like hanging the washing up or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)
What about sex during the washing up
Can you thank them then?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)
you can thank them for not smashing plates over your head if you started trying to shag them whilst they're doing the washing up

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:42, Reply)
it's the crying I can't stand

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:26, Reply)
Stop doing it then

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)
I had not thought of that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)
genuine officelol

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)
A girl who's inhibited
and doesn't tell you what she wants and what makes her feel good. Fucking hate that.


Out of sack, general psychotic behaviour (like claiming you're pregnant) and no sense of humour.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)
some girls are shy
I'm a bit rubbish as verbalising things.

I could never talk dirty, I'd get too embarrassed.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)
I'd get embarrassed if someone tried to talk dirty to me.
it doesn't have to be spoken (or written) instructions. Gentle guidance works as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)
I tend to think that if you're
ready to jump in the sack with someone you're pretty much past the shyness right?

I don't mean talk dirty even, I just mean being able to tell the guy I like it "such and such a way" or "lick my ass and call me David" etc.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

David Goliath
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)
oh god no
I'm really not shy until it gets to that point, I can't bring myself to say stuff like that, I just get all embarrassed. I also don't like most slang for genitalia so I would have to use the word mimsy or something and then Wiggy would start laughing.

I have never said "lick my ass and call me David", I might try that later.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)
From a guys point of view, there is nothing better than hearing a girl moan "Fuck me" in your ear when you're on top
That's all it takes.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)
I like it when they whisper that
at any point, like when you're out shopping and you have to duck into a close by GAP and...

/Memories.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)
At any point is magnificent
I love to the point dirty talks.

I once got a text saying 'I need a lay, get here now', completely out of the blue. To the point, simple, and utterly horn inducing.

I told my Dad not to text me again
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
I'm really bad for that when I'm drunk
but by the time we've got home I've usually passed out in the most unattractive manner possible.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
That's fine
But do you think you could try not to snore during?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:00, Reply)
Yeah, I can tell


Terrible.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)
yeah
but that's the very best kind of sex, when you can really laugh as well.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Just don't point and laugh, that shit's distressing
Or so I've heard...
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)
I once got the giggles during sex so badly that I just couldn't stop laughing for like 10 minutes
he was unimpressed.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)
Happened during my first threesome, to all 3 of us
Ruined the mood somewhat.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:57, Reply)
Out: Bad breath, eating with your mouth open, not saying 'please' and 'thank you', Jews
In: lying there doing and saying nothing. Get involved!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)
I lolled at the unexpected anti-semitism.
Although having said that (since Amberl isn't around) I would really have to think twice about dating a catholic.

EDIT: that's the downside to necrophilia
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)
I have dated one (Catholic, that is). Probably wouldn't again.
I'd be a shit necrophiliac, unless I hooked them up to some servos or big marionette strings.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)
To be honest, that sounds pretty niche
Messed up niche at that.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Yeah, it doesn't do anything for me

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)
still, don't knock it til you've tried it

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)

In: talking dirty (makes me feel self-conscious & ridiculous), threesomes/moresomes - no thank you, BDSM - fuck off you're not whipping me or tying me up.

Out: Mean behaviour, hairy toes, BO and shouting in public.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)
Threesomes are great fun, don't knock em til you try em
Granted, I'm yet to have one with 2 girls though...

*awaits inevitable and unfunny strikethrough*
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)
I don't have the nerve, or the desire to watch my gf with anyone else. In fact the mere of that upsets me greatly.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)
I'm not aversed to the idea of a threesome
I just don't think I could bear the shame of seeing the girl again in a normal situation.

Maybe we should hire a call girl.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)
Make it a birthday present for Wiggy?
He really would love you forever. Your mantle of 'Best Girlfriend Ever' would likely be permanant.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:42, Reply)
I once gave him a blowjob whilst he was smoking a spliff
I got the title then.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)
One of mine used to greatly enjoy giving me blowjobs when I was on the phone.
I had booked the day off once, but they needed to contact me for something. I answered, as we weren't doing anything at the time, and she decided she'd show me how much her gag reflex was disappearing.

Great fun, but difficult to not have your voice wobble when you're chatting to your boss.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)
I once did that to a guy when he was on the phone to his girlfriend.
Bring on the judgement.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)
*JUDGES*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
*FEELS JUDGED*

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)
Good girl!
Good to see we're all as bad as each other!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:07, Reply)
this is a lifelong dream of mine
and have never managed it :-(
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:58, Reply)
I'll be round in 5
hours.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)
awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:02, Reply)
Well, if you ask Kitty nicely, she might introduce you to him
EDIT: I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY, DAMNIT!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:00, Reply)
You should
just get another bloke and get spitroasted. You'd never have to see Wiggy with another girl.

You'd just have to put up with some DP.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)
I would so never have a threesome with another bloke
too many plugs, not enough sockets.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)
yes, this! Dirty talking = ridiculousness and lolling
ooh you're so vanilla Battered.

I lolled a bit at shouting in public, it's just not something I would think a bloke would care about, but now I'm picturing you cringing as she shouts "OI STEVE! STEEEEEEEEEEEEVE! STEEEEEEEVE OVER HERE!" in the street.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)
I am happy to be considered vanilla. Skilled & adept vanilla that is.
Shouting in public is undignified, by anyone - not just women.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)
True.
If I desperately wanted the attention of someone on the other side of the road. I would cross over and talk to them. I wouldn't dream of shouting to them.
Also chanting at football matches. I concede that there would be less atmosphere without it, but I'm cetainly not going to join in.
(Cave Duck, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:41, Reply)
Out of, it's if they don't have a sense of humour, there is nothing more important to me.
In it, I don't think there's anything that bothers me tbh, I'm fairly open minded. Just make sure you keep anything well away from my barking spider, that's exit only.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)
I ask Wiggy what his favourite thing about me is
in the hope he'll say I'm funny or kind or something. He always answers "your ass".
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)
no, he's saying "you ass"

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)
you're mean, he loves me
*sobs*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)
He's just biding time until someone better comes along

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

better else
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

someone anyone
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)
good team work there

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)
*bullying five*

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:42, Reply)
FUCK YOU ALL

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)
you can give it out
but not take it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)
I didn't want to spoil your fun,
look at you, thinking you're part of the group and stuff, cute!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)
Stay golden, Kitty.
theoutsiders/
(Cave Duck, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)
you're my favourite.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)
he doesn't.
I'm the one for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)
hahaha
I thought you'd fallen out of love with me after the moose knuckle comment
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)
that was for comedy effect
particularly after reading the spliff/blowjob post
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:58, Reply)
I don't have any deal breakers.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

deal breakers morals or standards
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)
resistance to chloroform/rohypnol

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Surely them being concious is a problem for you

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)

deal breakers one prepared to have sex with me.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:34, Reply)
that's not true
I bet if she said "Oh I love Battlestar, is that the one with Commander Waldorf?" you'd be out of the door like a shot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:34, Reply)
A love of sci-fi is a bonus,
but it's not a deal breaker.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:38, Reply)
But getting it wrong would make you angry and you know it

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)
No it wouldn't, I would probably be patronising about it,
which could/often is a deal breaker on the other side.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)
oh yes, add those to my list
"patronising, supercillious, lame sci-fi loving WoW player"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)
I'm not lame.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)
Sorry that was unclear
I meant lame sci fi.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:00, Reply)
Oh in that case
you are describing me, how ever will I cope?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:02, Reply)
No one ever shat the bed on you then?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Nope, someone asked me to piss on her though,
that was a bit of a turn off, that and she was a mental who'd already slept with 3 of my friends.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:43, Reply)
So a deal breaker, albeit for a rather specific case study?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)
he didn't say he didn't do it.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)
I didn't do it.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)
The question is: should you feel sorry for these people?
I'm just going to play Devil's Advocate for a minute because, mercifully, nobody's ever asked me to do anything that "niche" to them before. But consider what it must be like for them to have such a fetish - do you think they realise that it's weird and repulsive to the rest of us? Consider then the long chain of disappointments she must have had when you were presumably the fourth man in a row to refuse to urinate over her - will she ever find true happiness, or is she destined to wander the planet in search of a man who will shower her with whichever bodily fluids she desires? Now I'm not sure where I was going with this one so I'll stop.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)
Yeah you're overthinking it,
she was hammered and trying to be "lolwakki" I think.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)
Oh. Oh, well in that case, just run.
Run far away.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)
Answer:
They should join fetish sites, go to clubs, and meet like-minded people. Or slowly bring kink into a lengthy relationship, if the other partner's willing.

Not on a 1 night stand.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)
I wondered why you kept giving TGB funny looks that morning...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
I give her funny looks all the time
She's funny looking.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:57, Reply)
I'd be no help.
I get shy bladder just standing at urinals.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)
hahaha "I'd love it if you peed on me"
"I'm trying woman, stop looking at me!"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)
this is totally what would happen to me

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)
Still, it's a better thought out reply than the "something based on that episode of The Simpsons were Bart becomes famous for saying I didn't do it" effort that I had in mind.

(Cave Duck, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
Out of the sack - badly dressed gals
They will get nowhere in life or with me the scruffy gits. In the sack, not much, I'm easy.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)
pyjamas in tescos makes me angry with rage.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)
I just can't get my head round why anyone would not take pride in how they dress
It's what represents you as a person to other people (admittedly not people you already know). People bowling round in shit clothes are loons, although admittedly I may have taken it too far in the other direction.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)
There's a fine line to be trod
between bothering to dress properly and looking like a narcissistic pranny. I agree that there is no justification for wearing your pyjamas to a shop, even if that shop is Tesco.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)
I always overdress
but I like to try and look nice and some of my friends are a bit scruffy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)
It takes me about twenty minutes to decide what to wear to a lecture that will have about four people in it.
Although a local girl said 'you're the most dapper cunt I've ever seen' to me the other day. I think that's a good thing, so the effort's worth it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
In: Making it feel as though it's been timetabled
Out: Being Welsh.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)

welsh female
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:34, Reply)
Of course, I'd forgotten I was a massive flaming gaybo
Honestly, I'd forget my own cock if it wasn't riveted to the inside of my thigh...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)

my thigh a sailor.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:41, Reply)
timetabled?
I've never had this, you mean like she was looking at her clock and then speeding up, and was redoing her hair and makeup by the time you'd rolled over?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)
I think more like
"Well, Corrie's on soon, so we'll have sex around 9:30pm?".
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)
Wasn't quite that obvious...it's not exactly easy to explain
But one girl did manage to make it feel like it was there was an itinerary prior to falling asleep, which listed "fornicate" among its items.

I'm all for regular sex but it's really off-putting if it doesn't feel spontaneous.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)
timetabled sex is better than not enough sex

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)
Actually, I'm not sure.
I'm currently inclined to say that bad sex is worse than no sex.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:41, Reply)
This definitely
I'd rather go without than have it bad.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:42, Reply)
Agree.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)
I agree
And those types tend to be against spontaneous sex as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Come 'ere you
*winks*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:42, Reply)
*desperately tries to remember the safety word*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)
Mine's artichokes.
My friend's is plasticine which makes me laugh, I'm not sure why.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:02, Reply)
Never needed one
I tell a lie, V-Plates-losing-day I wish I had one.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
Mine is ow!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:13, Reply)
Oh man, I love the Welsh accent on a girl.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)
There's lovely

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)
The "Out" answer is not entirely serious.
I just couldn't think of anything interesting for that one.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)
my ex was Welsh, it was her first language
there is nothing, literally nothing, worst than being woken at 7am on a Saturday morning by the babbling of high speed Welsh as her twat father phoned her.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)
Hmm...I'll see your Welsh
and raise you one side of a telephone argument in high-speed, high-pitched Mandarin Chinese.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)
out of the sack:
smoking, always wearing the same shirt, poor personal hygiene, chewing with mouth open, poor manners - especially not saying "thank you".

in the sack: pain (whether intentionally inflicted or whether due to poor technique), selfishness, no shared sense of humour.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)
but smoking is cool!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)
You'd make a rubbish wag
'Have you seen Wayne again? He is ALWAYS wearing that number 9 shirt with his name on the back'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)
hahahaha
just a few then?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)
all reasonable though, surely??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)
A lot of your 'Outs' match mine
And I agree with your 'Ins', therefore I accept them and concur.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)

accept them and concur would like to suggest we hook the fuck up.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)
Bad Kitty!
*sprays with water*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)
Oh don't act coy, you would.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)
then he clearly has exceptional taste

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
nah he tastes a bit off tbh

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
*eats more pineapple*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)
i've given blowjobs to the occasional smoker
i've probably tasted worse
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:06, Reply)

've d
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:08, Reply)
i think i understand this
in which case, oi!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:12, Reply)
Tee hee

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:16, Reply)
Well I've never smoked in my life

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:08, Reply)
this is a good start for us

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:12, Reply)
There's an 'us' already?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)
don't deny it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:27, Reply)
water?
yeah right
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
Pain can be learned
Or so I've been told.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)
Out: sticky-out belly button.
In: eating chips.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:34, Reply)
that's not their fault, it's the doctor's.
I would love chips in bed. I'm going to introduce this to the bedroom tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)
*ketchup joke*

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)
This is about periods
and therefore auto-lol.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)
I'm more of a mayonnaise girl
but that has equally revolting connotations
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)
so does brown sauce.
mushy peas anyone?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)
TOO FAR

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
I forgot about the KFC gravy!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:10, Reply)
I may be deluding myself
but I think/hope I assess each person I meet on their own merits and if I liked them I wouldn't be so petty as for anything to be a 'deal breaker' in itself. Obviously if the person had a number of traits that annoyed/repulsed me that would be an end to it.

I'm going to say 'not being a nice person' in or out of the sack. I draw the line at shit, though. In or out. And liking Bowie.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I may be deluding myself
but I think/hope I assess each person I meet on their own merits and if I liked them I wouldn't be so petty as for anything to be a 'deal breaker' in itself. Obviously if the person had a number of traits that annoyed/repulsed me that would be an end to it.

I'm going to say 'not being a nice person' in or out of the sack. I draw the line at shit, though. In or out. A massive collection of David Bowie memorabilia
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)
Ha I edited whilst you were posting that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)
*shakes fist*
You swine!
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)
One girl I slept with repeatedly was a terrible person
But she was filthy. It's enough to make me ignore other problems with their personality.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)
I had a child with one of those.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Shamefully
I have done this too.

She called holidays "holibobs".

*shoots self*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)
In school, she was once heard to ask "Why is he speaking German?" when Hitler was on screen.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)
Have you got her phone number?
I think I could have a lot of fun with her.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)
Sorry, I've misplaced it.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)
I'm officelolling at holibobs

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
I had a six month relationship like this. She was a walking abortion of a person, but she fucked like you wouldn't believe
Unfortunately I found out that it wasn't just me that was being fucked by her at the time
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)
Seriously?
Out of everyone here, you're giving the most benevolent answer? I was expecting a long, long, LOOONG list of all the things you hate about the human race, starting with "if she described any of her food as being nommy"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)
If I liked her she could say 'sammiches' and I probably wouldn't even chin her.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)
awww
*feels special*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)
Nope, that'd give him the rampant horn, but they'd have to put up with being called Kitty.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)
o_O

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)
"I draw the line at shit, though. "
Are you trying to be 'street' or is this a poo reference?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)
It's a poo reference.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)
I can't be dealing with that fucking shiny lipstick.
That's an instant no-no. I'm generally very forgiving so the only other thing I can think of which wouldn't do it for me is amputees.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)
you mean lip gloss?
my brother has banned his fiancee from wearing it.

i must have over 70 lipglosses, i can't stop buying them! then i never wear makeup during the day.

/stupid
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:58, Reply)
The ultra-shiny ones, they make me boke.
Red lips, cool. Complementary colour to outfit/makeup/hair colour lips, cool. Fucking super-shiny futuristic lips? Ugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)
oh no i don't wear those
it's all about subtle enhancement with makeup!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
correct attitude
well done

except for black eye makeup. Dress up in stockings, nice undies, a white shirt, black eye makeup and pigtails and I would be completely powerless.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)
When daughter got her first makeup I told her "less is more" and we went people-watching in town.
Soon enough she was pointing out all the women who had far too much makeup on. Now we sit and watch Snog Marry Avoid and laugh at the mingers. Edit: and now you've edited this post feels entirely wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:07, Reply)
apart from the pigtails
that's pretty much what i am wearing now.

where is your webcam?

and whilst you're filming, can you find out who stole my designer goodies, ta.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:08, Reply)
I meant nice undies, white shirt and nothing else.
I stole your goodies, I wanted to see you in a rage. It's hot.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:09, Reply)
i am quite wild
on the rare occasion when i lose my temper
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:26, Reply)
Good job too.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:05, Reply)
do you mean
that i do a good job? in which case ta, i do all my friends' makeup on nights out, and i have even done a few weddings!

or did you mean "yeah, don't trowel it on, love" in which case the above makes me look dim
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:07, Reply)
Bit of both.
You don't look like you trowel it on. By the way, Mr Postman might have something for you tomorrow. How're you getting on with it?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:08, Reply)
oooooh thanks
i have nearly finished disc 3, so that will be perfect timing.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)
Not always.
I was early into work once and saw my then boss without her makeup on - I genuinely didn't know who she was for a second.

She was quite presentable when heavily made up, and looked frankly repulsive without it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)
couldn't agree more
I fucking hate that stuff.

dark lipstick or none thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:00, Reply)
Yeah, fucking amputees.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)
That made me laugh hard.

(Cave Duck, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
my deliberate ambiguity paid off!
*high fives*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)
May I state that in the context of sex/relationships
use of the phrase 'deal breaker' is somewhat redolent of Alan Partridge.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)
I was thinking it was a bit truelad.com

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:02, Reply)
"Dumped a 8/10 chick cos she wouldn't swallow LAD!"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
You may, and should be congratulated on doing so.

(Cave Duck, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)
Back of the net!

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:07, Reply)
Ah-ha!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:13, Reply)
out of would be just a rude or inconsiderate person.
in would be the same, you got yours and now you're rolling over? we're done for good, ta
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:05, Reply)
Oh yeah shit, that's reminded me.
A woman better want to give as well as get. My last partner was incredibly selfish.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:10, Reply)
Rape victims tend to be terrified
This can be mistaken for selfishness.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:13, Reply)
*smurks*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)
Same here. The last semi-serious thing I had going, he was the same
He wants wants wants from me, and the second I want something it's like I have to fucking complain and then he got mad and only does it to get me to shut up.
I'm like seriously, what's the fucking point? If you only want a quick suck-n-fuck find someone else. Even if it's a FWB thing, at least be willing to meet someone half way.

And while we're on the subject, I don't understand why some women won't give head.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:17, Reply)
FWB?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:18, Reply)
Friends With Benefits methinks

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:19, Reply)
How crass.
I cannot get on with such an idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:20, Reply)
I can't either, that's why I don't see him anymore
it works for some but just isn't me
I can have better sex by myself, ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:22, Reply)
It makes me feel rather sad, for some reason.
I have such antiquated views on relationships that such an idea depresses me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:27, Reply)
it is sad
but sometimes you need to feel something, because being alone forever sucks
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:29, Reply)
*starts sobbing*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:31, Reply)
yeah, I now hate this thread

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:33, Reply)
and me
i would sing "you are not alone" but i don't think you would appreciate a michael jackson ref.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:30, Reply)
I cannot understand the appeal of that ghastly man, I really can't.
He really was completely fucking shit bar about 5 tunes.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)
Friends on benefits is more my level.
FWB does make sense now though.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:20, Reply)
Better or worse, in your opinion,
than your experience of Friends On Benefits?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:22, Reply)
It would never work with a girl from a lower socio-economic background
I imagine it would be ghastly, trying to feign interest in her past holidays to Magaluf and eating frozen food covered in breadcrumbs. *Shudders*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:07, Reply)
At least try to be gentlemanly about it,
turn the lights out and have the servant boy roger her, and arrange for a carriage to be made available at first light to take her back to the godforsaken concrete monolith she calls a home.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:09, Reply)
Can you imagine the dirge that would be her excuse for language?
"Books are boring"
"Eating's cheating"
"I never went to university"

Awful. Simply awful.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:12, Reply)
I saw on someone's Facebook profile:
Books: I don't read, Were's Wally.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:12, Reply)
Oh dear...

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:15, Reply)
Technically, you don't read Where's Wally.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:17, Reply)
You are the best kind of correct
"Technically correct"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:18, Reply)
Ah, be careful - there's a chance she'll have a university education
But be prepared for the horrifying dénouement when she reveals that her BA(hons) is in hairdressing.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:19, Reply)
or a catering degree from a university that used to be a polytechnic...

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:22, Reply)
ugh, last bloke said "books are boring"
I wanted to punch him in the face, I knew immediately it wasn't going to work.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:21, Reply)
I can't imagine a life without reading books

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)
accidently clicked i like this
it's an incredibly dull and ignorant one
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:26, Reply)
How's your dog?
she's a sweetie
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:29, Reply)
she's rotten!
but I love her
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:31, Reply)
Post the pic of her in the car
the one where she's wearing a ballet tu-tu
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:32, Reply)
I nominate this for POTD.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:10, Reply)
Why thank you
but I imagine everyone has farked orf home.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:13, Reply)
no......

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:29, Reply)
Awww, a lawyers work is never done

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:30, Reply)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 19:37, Reply)
Seconded

(TheColonel, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)

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