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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Damn, thread deletion.
First time I've seen someone say that on here.

Fill me in on how the day's going ! My day is going pretty sweet to tell you the truth.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 12:56, 243 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Some people this country.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 12:57, Reply)
What was deleted?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 12:59, Reply)
someone posted something about a youtube video

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:00, Reply)
Ahh, fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:00, Reply)
I think I'm getting sick. And I'm very tired. I want to cry. But it doesn't help.
I should just run away to somewhere sunny.
How much does that cost?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 12:59, Reply)
my day sucks too
I'd like to go somewhere hot.

What's the nearest state to you that's sunny? You could take a road trip.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:00, Reply)
Your day only sucks because you were mean and unreasonable to your boyfriend. Apologising to him will make you feel better.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:02, Reply)
That's true, she's bottling up shame and self hatred.
She should tidy up for him and cook him a nice meal to apologise for her disgraceful behaviour.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:04, Reply)
if I cooked for him
it would only make it worse.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Take him out for dinner then. Sounds like the poor sod deserves it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:07, Reply)
nah we sorted that ages ago
I hate work now, I'm directing most of it towards my fat lazy office manager.

Also, just because your girlfriend is a psycho doesn't mean everyone else's is too.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:06, Reply)
BOOM

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:07, Reply)
She's the least psycho woman I have ever been out with tbh and extremely tolerant to put up with me

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:09, Reply)
Stop cock-blocking Chompy, if they split up, he could be in there.
I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE PUTS UP WITH HIM
DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME HE JUST _TOOK_ THE LAST MALTEESER ?
HOW COMES WHEN _SHE_ MAKES HOT CHOCOLATE, IT HAS TO BE MADE WITH HOT MILK, BUT WHEN HE DOES IT, IT'S "OK" TO USE HOT WATER ?
YEAH', FOR A MATTER OF FACT, Come Dine With Me IS A _NUTREAL_ SHOW, WE BOTH LIKE IT, SO YOU CAN'T USE IT TO SCORE POINTS TO WATCH THE FOOTBALL.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:07, Reply)
This post is a winner.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:08, Reply)
You should have seen the hate filled gaz she sent me this morning.
I couldn't put up with that level of hatred.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:10, Reply)
It's only funny because I'm being genuinly creepy.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:13, Reply)
I really really want access to her gaz box so I can see the gaz-exchange between Bobby and Kitty.
Bobby: Oh, man, I thought if I diss and cuss you enough that you'd like me, like with chompy.
Kitty: I don't really like Chompy in that way, think of it more as a really camp big brother.

Bobby: Oh, ok then, I wasn't being serious at all, I thought you would like critisism, most women I go with love it when I critasise them when they're feeling vulnrable.
Kitty: No, they dont.
Maxi: KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY
Bobby: They really do, they even sleep with me from it.
Kitty: Yeh', that isn't going to be happening between us any time soon.
Bobby: =(
Chompy: RE: RE: RE: FW: OMG, I was soo drunk last night, naugty swipe.
Kitty: *Logs off*
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:18, Reply)
OMFG This is your best work dude!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:19, Reply)
I have clicked this with my mouse.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:24, Reply)
Why isn't this on the popular page?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:25, Reply)
I love this so much I want to hold it close to me and smell its hair.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:27, Reply)
Would you pull your finger out and tidy up for this post?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)
I already tidied up last night
and I managed it really quickly because I was in such a bad mood. Tidying goes so much quicker when you're slamming things everywhere.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)
not just tidying things

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)
"a really camp big brother"
lolololol
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)
You have surpassed yourself this time Gonz.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Gonz I like this because you're one of the first to not call me a homo in days

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:49, Reply)
it's self evident, no need for us to point it out all the time
see also:
loser
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:54, Reply)
If I'm nice to you people will say 'oooo he's being nice now'
If I'm nasty, the same. So I think I will just be mean about you indirectly.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)
it's too late for that now
hell hath no fury and all that.

Also, no one cares what you write.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:59, Reply)
fuck it. Ignored.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:03, Reply)
Wise. at least for now.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:04, Reply)
he can't read this now.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:07, Reply)
you're right
because Bobby NEVER pretends to ignore people that he can't handle, but forgets and later comments on their posts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
You're letting the mental out online
chillax.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:10, Reply)
I'm well chilled.
I've just eaten.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:15, Reply)
Well have a nice cup of coffee then.
And remember that even if bobby is annoying you, he's not the shittest member of b3ta.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:17, Reply)
who are the bottom 5 in your opinion?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Spanky Hanky
b69
piston
you
me
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:19, Reply)
I'd go along with that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I agree with your top 3. The other 2 positions vary day by day.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Isn't Spanky dead by now?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:29, Reply)
Hopefully.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:30, Reply)
So now we can say what we really think of him. Unless he logs out.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:10, Reply)
I'm pretty sure people do that anyway whether he ignores them or not.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I know. It was a joke
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:18, Reply)
oh sorry
you should steal that picture Psychochomp keeps flogging to death
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:28, Reply)
yeah right
you wouldn't ignore me, you love me too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:07, Reply)
He wants you in and around his mouth

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
erm
I'm not sure what to say to that Labs.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
I find that hilarious

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I'm picturing something akin to a tetraplegic eating a water melon

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:13, Reply)
I dislike you.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:16, Reply)
Lies on the Internet

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:17, Reply)
that is even more hilarious :-D

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Stop being a snipey bitch,
bobby is great.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:59, Reply)
ooh delicious bait!
nom nom nom. I don't think so.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)
:(
www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0p46OsANvM
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)
hahaha that's brilliant
I love how he went back for the last little bit.

And someone underneath has written "achievement unlocked"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)
I just read the backstory on the blah-blahs today 'cus I was bored waiting for a decent thread to join in on.
I reckon you're in the right for the most part, and admit the bits where you're being a twat about. Only thing I'd say is that just 'cus someone is working from home, it doesn't mean to say they're sitting around watching jermy kyle.... some ex flatmates used to really lay into me for not cleaning up in the daytime while working from home .

He shouldda still made an effort.

Chompy asked me to ask you if you're single now.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:03, Reply)
ha ha, I have said "are you on the rebound yet?" in the recent past.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:06, Reply)
I think it I joked too soon, feel a bit bad mow.
Sad Times.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:26, Reply)
It's ok I'm not as angry anymore
and Wiggy has said we can go and see Despicable me on Thursday so that makes me happy. I'll get an apology out of him later.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Good lass !
Right, now I know I haven't taken the joke to far... and very subtaly had my hopes dashed for the forceable again, time to get on with some awesome-o-job..... L8erz potat0z.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:30, Reply)
the forceable?
I'm sure there's a chompy/rape joke in here somewhere.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Why don't you get it off your chest.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:36, Reply)
I'll just wait for Maxi to arrive
he enjoys it more than me
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:42, Reply)

it more than
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)
it's plenty sunny, just very cold
nearest would probably be florida, which we've already decided is shit
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:03, Reply)
Mexico?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:04, Reply)
San Diego?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:04, Reply)
Whale's Vagina?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:07, Reply)
Dolphin's Cock?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Tits McGee?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Kool Moe Dee?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:11, Reply)
Ain't doin' it for free.

(Cave Duck, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:16, Reply)
I need to pee

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:20, Reply)
Tits McGhee is on holiday right now

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)
Doesn't it just mean "Saint Diego"?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)
Where would you like to go?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:02, Reply)
dunno somewhere warm though
maybe mexico
but I think I need a passport
you reckon they'd flip out if I snuck in?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:04, Reply)
Enough Mexicans have snuck through the other way haven't they?
But generally speaking, international travel does require a passport.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:06, Reply)
but it didn't use to here
only after 9/11
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:07, Reply)
New Mexico doesn't count.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:09, Reply)
aw, cute, lol

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:12, Reply)
I couldn't resist it.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:18, Reply)
What happened on 9/11?
*Googles*

Oh, that was the day America inveted terrorism.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:11, Reply)
as opposed to collecting money for it from Irish decendants - they'd been doing that for decades.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:12, Reply)
That was for the 'struggle'
(But its funny how their views have changed now they've experienced terrorism first hand, rather than just funding it).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I was in an Irish bar in Chicago about 8 years ago and they were doing a collection "for the old country". I left before I lost my temper.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:16, Reply)
What's the deal with the Irish-Americans?
I don't call myself Irish-English (even though I've got Irish ancestry).

Don't the realise the rest of the world just laughs at them?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:19, Reply)
do you think if everyone in the world laughed at the same time they would hear it?
why would they care anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:21, Reply)
because they misguidedly think that Irish heritage is a good thing

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Racist.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)
Slowly, slowly, slow
It's not even 2pm yet. I had lunch at 11am! The day is never going to finish, and I feel like going home right now and go to sleep, but I can't because I have to wait for the Tesco guy again.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:17, Reply)
Having an unbelievably
shit day so far.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Not too bad, though my flatmates had a massive argument at about 230, woke me up
and I almost killed the both of them. Instead I got a little angry and shouted and went back to bed.

Today I felt clever and inspired to read more about Charlemagne. If anyone can reccommend me a decent book on him (I'd imagine either Monty or Amberl) I'd be grateful. Of course I'm just sitting in the Maughan, so could just go to the relevant section. But I just can't be arsed.

I also got blanked by the boy I've been wittering on about the last few days. Gut-ted.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:21, Reply)
Apparently Charlemagne loved hot dogs.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)
O RLY?
Fascinating.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)
King of the Franks.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)
...
...

...

..

.

Fuck. You.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:33, Reply)
WAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:36, Reply)
It was rather excellent, I must admit
my brain ent really working that well.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)
apparently pretty much everyone in Europe is descended from Charlemagne
*has also watched QI*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Even Katy Price?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)
sorry, everyone human

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:40, Reply)
Phil Oakey?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)
definitely not

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)
See - Stephen Fry is full of shit.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
If he blanked you it was probably because he had just had a wank about you
and was still dribbling post-cum down his leg as he walked past.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Nah, I was walking by him and a couple of mutual friends on the way to the library
had a discussion with one of them and he actually attempted to keep talking to the same friend as I was talking to him. Ruuuude.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)
ew I don't know about this boy but ew
what a jerk
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)
I did kind of blank him on Sunday
I gave both his flatmates a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but he didn't even get up when I was leaving so I just said bye and swanned away.

I ONLY FANCY HIM WHEN WE'RE BOTH DRUNK ANYWAY
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:42, Reply)

FANCY RIM
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)
Asbestos tablecloth, mmhmm.
*has watched QI*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:30, Reply)
I beg your pardon?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)
Charlemagne apparently used to whip his asbestos cloth off the table at the end of meals
and throw it in the fire as a party trick.

That's what Stephen Fry said, anyway.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Oh I see.
Entertaining.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)
They didn't have telly in those days, Lampers.
They had to make their own fun.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)
Fuck him and all related
in the sense of ignore him, rather than have genital intercourse.

On Charlemagne, do you want a popular book, a scholarly book or (my personal favourite) an interesting primary source. Or just read the Song of Roland and pretend it is work
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
im cleaning the lounge
I swear to god gonz as much as I love you if you mess it up I will destroy you
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:29, Reply)
I have a LUNCH DILEMMA.
Sainsbury's have started selling Christmas sandwiches. Is the correct response to this:

a) Fuck off you fucking fucks, it's only just November.
b) Mmmm turkey, stuffing, bacon & cranberry sandwiches, why do you only sell these for two months a year you shits?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)
the correct answer is b

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Good, because that's what I did.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:34, Reply)
good lad

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)
The correct answer is c:
Have a nice sandwich, not a turkey one.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)
turkey sandwiches are awesome
turkey plain is not
dry filth I tell you
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Turkey is my least favourite of all the roast meats.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)
I'm going to go with you on this one
how many roast meats are there anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:41, Reply)
Lots.
Lots and lots.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)

chicken, pork, lamb, goat, beef, duck, goose, turkey, blackcock, capercaillie, grouse, hare, leveret, partridge, pheasant, plovers, ptarmigan, quail, rabbit, snipe, teal, venison, widgeon and woodcock

There may be more.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)
+Guinea fowl.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:49, Reply)
+anything else made of meat

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Damn you're right. Forgot.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:51, Reply)
capercaillies make the funniest noise
kind of a whistle and then a click
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:49, Reply)
Grouse make a fairly odd noise too
unless it's caperwhatsits I'm thinking of. Either way, one of them scared the shit out of me when I was walking in the Lakes.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)
What colour was it? capercaillie's are black, grouse are beige & brown.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:52, Reply)
I have no idea
I was having a wee in some bushes, it was going dark and something was making a really weird 'grackle grackle' noise.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)
That was Chompy.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)
that's the grouse I think

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)
You can walk on water?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:53, Reply)
Lake District
although I said in, not on. Pay attention!
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:55, Reply)
*Plays the poorly card*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)
that's an electric kettle

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:51, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Stunning.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:04, Reply)
basically any animal can be roasted.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)
Yeah, but what about nutroasts?
This exactly like why they had to start the MOBO Awards.
Stop trying to oppress the veg.
(Cave Duck, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:06, Reply)
I wouldn't recommend googling 'blackcock' at your workplace.
Just saying
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:13, Reply)
I've never understood the concept of stuffing.
oh shit, opened myself up for all kinds of jokes here
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)
what don't you understand about it?
I can demonstrate the benefits of a good stuffing to you if you want
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:38, Reply)
I don't entirely know what it is and what its function is

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)
it can be made of all sorts of things
and its function is to be really tasty.

your typical one for a chicken is basically sage, onion and breadcrumbs
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:41, Reply)
And do you actually stuff it into the chicken?
What happens when you slice it? Doesn't it get all soggy?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:42, Reply)
yeah, into the cavity of the chicken
although there is a school of thought that in doing so it doesn't get hot enough to kill the bacteria in it, unless you cremate the chicken, so some people cook it outside on a try or in balls or something.

You generally get a crusty outer bit, and the rest is fairly dense and moist, having soaked up juices from the meat, thus becoming more delicious.

In my experience it is excavated with a spoon.

You can make it with sausagemeat type stuff as well, which works better if you slice it out of the chicken/turkey.

Having stuffing in there doesn't interfere with the normal carving of the meat.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:45, Reply)
inserting the stuffing between the breast and the skin isn't a bad way to do it - helps keep the breast moist too.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)
I've never really found that the breast dries out
I've used slices of chorizo betwixt skin and breast on some big leg pieces. That was fucking lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:49, Reply)
I like the sound of that.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:53, Reply)
give it a go
it works well and is tasty. leaves you with really crispy delicious skin

on the chicken, not your own
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:54, Reply)
I have a week starting tomorrow of cooking whatever I like (gf away) so will try this.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:55, Reply)
get to it
if you need more ideas feel free to ask
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)
Thanks. I will.
Friday and Sunday are sorted, now Wednesday too thanks to you, only four days remaining.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:01, Reply)
It gives flavour to the meat as it's cooked, I think
also, it's fucking delicious.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I've never had a roast dinner, trufax
I must investigate further.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)
How have you managed to go through life without a roast?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)
WTF??

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:45, Reply)
O_O

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:46, Reply)
Oh, the humanity!

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:46, Reply)
you poor thing
don't get one somewhere shit though. Find someone from here who knows either how to cook a good roast dinner, or knows where one can be purchased and get them to cook one or take you there.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:47, Reply)
That is sheer craziness, woman
sort it out!
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)
DEAD
TO
ME
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Poor, poor thing
Get yourself down to the shops this very evening and put this right.

Cooking order: meat first, potatoes, veg.

Edit: Don't roast the veg. Unless it's a parsnip.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:53, Reply)
Or a potato, surely? Or are you more of a mash man?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)
^this
also, roast carrots and butternut squash are fucking awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:57, Reply)
Roast onion and celery is alright as well.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)
Roast celery?!
You're weird.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)
Need to roast it under the meat to stop it burning
but it's nice.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)
I agree with this
celery is a much maligned vegetable. It has superb flavour imparting qualities.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:06, Reply)
and is excellent raw with cheese.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)
Well possibly
but as I don't especially like the flavour of celery I'd rather it fucked off instead of imparting it's flavour to other things which I do like.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
Particulary roast onion with roast lamb.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)
Like raising
a shoulder off the bottom of your pan with a cacophony of chopped onions and carrots and thyme.

The sweet lamb fat cooks those veg to perfection. *drools*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)
mmmmmm

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:01, Reply)
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:06, Reply)
I love shoulder of lamb
There's a lot of fat and bone but that's where the flavour is.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:14, Reply)
When done wrong it can be
abhorently fatty tasting though.

Another favourite method is deboning it, spreading the inside with an olive paste made with garlic, paprika and smoked chili, then rolled and cooked slow on a half filled charcoal bbq.

Shred with forks, insert into pitta, add condiments, die, go to heaven.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:16, Reply)
fucking hell that sounds awesome
My bbq is suitable for that sort of stuff. I need to do it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:18, Reply)
damn that sounds good.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Sounds like the best kebab ever.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:21, Reply)
I am a new convert
to butternut squash and you are indeed correct.

But let's not get Lampito running before she can walk.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:59, Reply)
Roast carrots with honey & wholegrain mustard.
Fucking NOM.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:03, Reply)
mmmm
I can also recommended putting some carrots in foil with cardamom pods, a few garlic cloves and some grated root ginger, wrapping it into a parcel and cooking in the oven for 20-25 minutes.

really delicious delicately fragrant carrots.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
Swap the honey for mango chutney
Trust me, my Dad did that this weekend and they were delicious!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:11, Reply)
Hmm, tempting

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:12, Reply)
I well loves the mash.
But roasties are king.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:57, Reply)
Have to be made with par-boiled king edwards and done in either goose fat or beef lard

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:59, Reply)
Duck fat is nom too.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)
I have found that those Rooster potatoes are fucking brilliant for everything

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Good roasties are, definitely
But I've had many bad roasties in my time.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:04, Reply)
bad roast spuds = worse than bad sex.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)
Maybe I've just not had a sufficiently bad roast potato, but I must disagree
If nothing else because I like the mental image of someone going,
"Oh put your pyjamas on, I can't be doing with this! I'm off to the kitchen to eat soggy roast potatoes."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)
Nah, you wouldn't eat them cold
Save them til the next day, and fry them up with the veg & meat that's left, serve hot with brown sauce, or cold with Branston Pickle.

Bubble and Squeak, awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:10, Reply)
Soate potatoes made from leftover roast spuds works well.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:11, Reply)
Definitely
Especially when the skin goes dry, and crunchy (in a bad way). It's a fookin disgrace.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)
My mum is only able to make two types of roast potato:
damp or leathery. And she wonders why I always leave before Sunday dinner when I go up to visit..
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:10, Reply)
That's a true shame
My Dad's roasties are so good, I'm proud to be his son.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I make the Christmas dinner now
we actually had family round to ours last year. Normally they all pretend they're busy so as to avoid mum's cooking.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:14, Reply)
I can't cook really
but I've done Christmas dinner twice
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:16, Reply)
I'm a pretty good cook
but not nearly as inventive as Vipros or Battered. I probably make better cake than they do though.
/immodest
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
So far, I've found I can cook, but I'm not really one to experiment
In my life, I've made one utterly magnificent meal for others, but that's about it. (A venison, duck and pheasant pie)

Although I did invent the slow roasted bolognaise sandwich.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:21, Reply)
Having tried the brownie
I would bet that this is true.

I did salmon with port wine jelly and soda bread for starter, then traditional dinner with trimmings for the main, and christmas pudding with brandy butter for pudding
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:21, Reply)
my baking skills have got worse as my other cooking skills have improved
so you are almost certainly right.

I love cooking and I love eating more, hence inventiveness and adventurousness. I find can also imagine how things will taste together in my head, which helps.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Sweet
Duck fat for the roasties?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Or goose
there is no other way.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:18, Reply)
I only had duck fat roasties for the first time last Christmas
Before that, it's always just been Lard.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I've got a jar of fat from the goose my mum cooked at Easter
it produced about 5 fucking jars of the stuff, but it is seriously good for roasties. If you can believe it, it is even considerably better than duck fat
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:24, Reply)
Sounds awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:26, Reply)
Beef lard is also good.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Seeing as you were raised veggie, I shouldn't be surprised
All the same, YOUR LIFE WILL REMAIN INCOMPLETE UNTIL SUCH TIME AS YOU HAVE REMEDIED THIS.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:55, Reply)
Ah, well that would probably explain it...
she should probably have mentioned that before all the vilifying posts though.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)
Possibly, although it's been quite amusing to see /OT united in such solidarity over what the poor girl's missed out on
I can only presume the roast does not carry the same significance to vegetarian families - especially considering you couldn't make a convincing gravy with vegetable stock.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Or a convincing roast out of nuts, for that matter

(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:01, Reply)
Bless 'em, I know they're trying
But something that looks like a giant savoury flapjack is no substitute for slabs of roasted animal flesh.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Amen my sausage munching brother!

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)
Truly, nothing beats a mouthful of luncheon meat
and...erm...cabbage...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:14, Reply)
Well,everyone loves a bit of meat, don't they?
Hur hur.

Sorry.
(berk, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:06, Reply)
Ooh, especially when it's matured steak
Or BGB as she's mainly known
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
I HATE YOU!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:55, Reply)
Just a spitroast?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)
Don't listen to them
You're not really missing anything.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:07, Reply)
WHAT?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)
I'm just not really a fan of roast dinner.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:10, Reply)
Just couscous

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:14, Reply)
Lies!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)
This is lies
if you make it up to Oxford on a Sunday, I can't offer to cook a roast but I could book you in for hall, who do a decent one
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:11, Reply)
Fuck you health girl.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:13, Reply)
IGNORE THIS WOMAN
She knows not what twaddle she speaks.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Lectures done
Grant still not sorted, money not some bloke.
Fallout working now
So far 6/10
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:51, Reply)
My day is going strangely
I slept so long I feel oddly blank and still tired. I literally slept from 7.30am to half twelve
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:13, Reply)
I feel like shite if I have a lie-in.
Somehow I've lost the ability to lie abed till after noon.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:19, Reply)
I kept waking up
and reading a bit more of my textbook then dropping back off to sleep again. So 15/20 minutes sleep, a five minute read then back to sleep
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Tough life, eh?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 14:35, Reply)

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