Reason one to like working for my company
at the beginning of December we all get given a big solid chocolate S each.

Lovely.

Got the first snow in Exeter last night which is nice.

How are you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:06, 210 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A chocolate 'S'? Odd...
We got £100 in lieu of a Christmas do. After tax that's about 65 quid, which will be spent tomorrow on the unofficial do that one lass has arranged.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:09, Reply)

dutch company
the dutch have traditions of giving presents and stuff on the 5th of December (it's early this year) for Sinterklaus

£65 isn't too shabby for a present. We tend to get £25 of M&S vouchers as well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I'm quite pleased with the 65 quid
Normally we'd have an enforced meal somewhere, with random gadget gifts given out. It's kinda fun, but there's usually a speech from each of the management cunts saying how we need to work harder next year and setting challenges for us, despite us doing bloody well.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

If I was a drag berlesk dancer who specialises in christmas parties, I would call "Sinterclaus".
Because it sounds like a mix of 'sin' and 'santa clause'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Won't somebody think of the children?

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I for one am extremely glad that you aren't one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

How ironic
Given the Dutch inability to pronounce that particular letter.

Should have a chocolate 'esh'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I'M WEARING A VEST

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Somehow I don't see you stealing women off of the Old Spice Advert Man

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I should do, I'm very charming and witty.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Uh huh
How was your curry?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:14, Reply)

That's been moved to friday,
I'm buying a new pestle and mortar tonight in preparation.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

*jealous of life in Milton Keynes*

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Nice looking menu that was,
I was busy and thus was unable to comment.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I might have to cut the dry meat out
because Lamb is fucking expensive at the moment, I'd have to spend a tenner just to have enough for a side dish.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:50, Reply)

My head hurts

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

There there.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I wish I knew how to get to sleep properly.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Insomnia?

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Aye. Had it on and off for yonks. Although I blame other things for last night.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Morning Barry!
Good night then?? How were the horse tranquilisers?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Mornin'
I have no idea, good I think? I remember being on the living room floor struggling to move and demanding my cigarettes (they were in my hand) at about seven this morning, but not much else. We went to World Headquarters which I'm almost certain was very enjoyable. Only went to bed about an hour and a half ago but woke up again pretty quick. Lecture at midday, that can well and truly do one.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Haha!
Sounds like a good one. World HQ? Blimey, not been there for years! That is the one beside the Gate isn't it?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Nah it's behind the old fire station, on East Pilgrim Street. Used to be called Afrika yonks back I think.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Lie down

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Looking forward to the weekend.
Hopefully.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

A chocolate shit?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

no, an S

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

how big?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

about 6" by 4"
and an inch thick

big serifs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:32, Reply)

this is strangely arousing

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

it's because you can imagine me saying it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Wurzel!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

We also had snow last night
Not a huge amount, just enough to be annoying and inconvenient.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Morning Jeff.
How can it be inconvenient? You're not working at the moment.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Snow is shit though Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

it is so shit

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

You know it lar.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:25, Reply)

More shit than zombies?

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

No.
There is nothing more shit than zombies (well, with the possible exception of Christmas).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Is there anything else that's really shit that I should know about?

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Your best bet is to assume that EVERYTHING is shit
Unless I inform otherwise.

*May have got out of the wrong side of bed this morning*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:29, Reply)

You are Monty AICMFP

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:32, Reply)

No I'm not.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Cheer up Jeff.
You get to meet me soon.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Ology?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Eh?

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Maureen Lipman.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I have no idea what you are trying to tell me.
I shall just assume it's nice.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I was calling you Maureen Lipman
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jHffhRnjsI
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I know that Jeff.
It's just a bit random from the way the thread was going.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Don't you oppress me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

But not me?
*pouts* you'll have to get him drunk and drag him to the pub with the rest of us.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I said to Blousie
That as I'm out most of Sunday, I'll either try and meet her for a drink on the Saturday, or make it to the pub (late) on the Sunday when I'm finished with the family.

So you might get to meet me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Yay!
Make it to the pub late on Sunday - I'd imagine we'll all be hammered by then.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

As will he.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

You just want me there as a translation service
Just in case any of the natives speak and you need to understand what they are going on about.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

As long as your people understand the international sign for booze I should be ok.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:55, Reply)

All you need to do, is walk to the bar and shout
'Zyder I up landlord!'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I've just been to put the bin out
As the bin men around our way never come before lunchtime.

They've already fucking been. Thankfully it's recycling bin week so at least we're not stuck with a full, smelly bin for another fortnight.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

But this is awful DG, I'm really upset for you.
*Runs off sobbing*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

It's been the lowlight of my week so far, Jeff.
Also I'm going to try and get into the office, I think.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Fuck that - better coffee and biscuits at home
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I've just remembered that there's a meeting this afternoon
About a training session I'm giving next week, so I kind of have to go in otherwise I won't be prepped in time.

I'm trying to get them to cancel the training next week on account of the weather, though, as people will have to travel a fair distance for it, many from the north of the county which has been really badly hit by snow. I can't see there being a big thaw between now and next Wednesday.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

You're such a trooper DG.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Why not leave it another couple of hours before you go in?
That way, as soon as you get there, it'll more or less be time to turn round and come home.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:31, Reply)

We get ....... fuck all
A chocolate S sounds good though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

He should unwrap it, lay it on it's side in a puddle, and take a blurry black and white picture of it from afar
Boom, instant money from a 'Nessie sighting'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:31, Reply)

But then you will have soggy chocolate

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:35, Reply)

But the money to buy more

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Its a gamble
but, by jove, it just might work!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:35, Reply)

We got Christmas bonuses the last 2 years
which were just enough to pay of my overdraft, and I'm really hoping they do it again this year, or I am , financially, up shit creek.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:32, Reply)

What is this B O N U S of which you speak?
They stopped them the year I started here (13 fucking years ago!)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Never had one either.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

We get nowt either.
Not even a party anymore. No more pay rises, although they still happily pay performance bonuses to the people that don't actually need one (i.e. managers and team leaders) who get rewarded based on their staff doing all the fucking donkey work to hit targets etc.

/is not bitter at all, despite ensuring that enough projects were appraised and approved last year to spend the budget and more.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

May I remind you of the financial crisis the country is in.
Just saying.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Yeah, sad innit?
I'm lucky enough to work for a company that does stuff to do with Freview Boxes. in a recession people tend to stay home and watch more TV, they also tend to downgrade from Sky and the like to Freeview, coz it's free like. So we are actually doing quite well, and coz it's a nice company, unlike the last shower of cunts I worked for who did basically the same thing but managed to loose money doing it, they pass on the good fortune. Surprised the hell out of me the first time too as I'd thought bonuses were extinct. So feel free to hate me, I'm sure I deserve it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

*Keeps schtum for fear of lynching*
Road bikes are great in the snow.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

And snowmobiles are well mint on cycle-paths....
Following your logic
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I thought cyclepaths liked chainsaws?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Morning.
I have manflu so I'm feeling sorry for myself. But it's a good reason not to do any studying and to sit on the sofa playing with my Sims.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:41, Reply)

sorry, has to be done
Sims self
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

thanks.
The Sim is of me so yeah that's kind of true.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

No it doesn't

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Did you get out of the wrong side of Jeff's bed too?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

*shoehorns*
he's grumpy because I'm wearing this tshirt right now



( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

hehehe!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I thought of a joke to put here
but I'm not going to do it because it could be considered pandering.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

PANDER TO ME BITCH

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

*sighs, puts on george foreman voice*
I liked it so much I put my Naaaaame on it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Thats not pandering
Thats good!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

That's not pandering. You're the worst panderer ever.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:55, Reply)

the problem with this t-shirt
is that it's as close as he is ever going to come to being all over your tits.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

What tits

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

You can save this quickly by claiming it was an exclamation, rather than a question

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

No it was definatly a question.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

*definitely

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

This upsets me.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

YAY!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

These ones

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

that kind of backs up Psychochomp's point really doesn't it?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:09, Reply)

it certainly takes away his crown as king of the stalkers
blimey al, then you complain about there being no cleavage shots on my fb.............
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I like how he cropped her face out
Even though she posted it further up.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

She might not want her face associated with her tits?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

She doesn't want YOUR face associated with her tits.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

ha I don't have a cleavage
more of a slight incline.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

much much much better that way, believe me
boobs are a menace and i hate them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I have some pole students who are well endowed and they struggle a bit more than the rest to do certain moves
so being tiny does have advantages!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Small boobs are totally empowering.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Looks like she spilled wine on her top.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Wiggy said that
It's a pretty flower design all the way down the dress, honest!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I wish mine were that bloody size.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

is that it's as close as he is ever going to come to being all over your tits.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I really think we should ban strikethroughs

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

ban strikethroughs all have a wank
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I read that as come over your tits.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Of all the things to worry about, looking like a pander is top of that list?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Go and eat some more cake or something, fatty
that's how this works, right?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I have a whole chocolate birthday cake
so I may just do that. In fact I will, thanks for the suggestion Maxi!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Any news yet?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:09, Reply)

nope!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

HA!

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

The first pic makes you look like a stroke victim.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

thanks dear

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

It was the meanest thing I could say
You didn't give me a lot to work with.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

PANDER
The first photo taken I was wearing my pole teaching outfit but I thought I'd better put pants on.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Is that a command?
I kinda did a ninja pander, by implying the pics were so awesome that I struggled to find some way of insulting you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

yeah I was calling you a Pander. I should've spelled it panda though I suppose
I noticed the ninja pander, I'm trained to find the smallest compliment out of the biggest insult. It's why I don't get depressed very easily.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Whereas I question every compliment I receive, while simultaneously reveling in them

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

you're fugly
wait I did it wrong.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Kitzo!
being ill is nice sometimes
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

This is my first cold since New Year's Eve so I think I've done pretty well
plus I really love Lemsip so I'm not too upset
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I like Beecham's powders in hot lemonade

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I didn't know you could heat lemonade
What happens to the bubbles?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

it's slightly flatter but the warm fizz is nice

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

apparently people who don't get colds
are more likely to succumb to more serious things, because colds keep your immune system sharp. according to some article in a scientific magazine (probably "cosmo" or the "national enquirer").

did you get your letter??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Nope no letter!
I thought it was because I was well hard, I never get ill. I was a really sickly child so maybe my body finally manned the fuck up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

what are they playing at, that's ridiculous

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I really do wish it was over, I hate not knowing if I have a job or not, it's really stressful!
This is the 4th week I've been at home now, my nerves can't take much more.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

on the plus side though
it must mean they are really considering it - they wouldn't keep paying you if they weren't!

maybe ask amy if it would be appropriate to chase gently?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Yeah I thought about contacting her again, she was so helpful last time, thanks.
If I haven't had a letter by the end of the week I'll go back to her.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

she is really bloody good at her job too
she lectures in employment law, but big law firms keep trying to headhunt her!

she has been asking me how you are getting along, i'd email her definitely - she might have some insight as to what their internal process is likely to be.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Thanks, I will do

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

You're a girl, you can't have man flu
You can only have the weaker form, meningitis.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I like this!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

*click*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Alreet
You still bashing this weekend?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I shall endeavour to come down for one but I'm epically skint after my birthday night out on Sat

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Go down and just ponce drinks.
Oh, hang on, you're in the impoverished north, that won't work.

As you were.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I'll get you one in, if you want?
Don't mind. Have a water, I insist.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I drank water last night at a pub quiz. The barman looked at me like I was a dick, even though I had a real drink as well I was just mega thirsty

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Barman is a twat then

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

we were the only ones at the bar when we came in yet he carried on talking to his mate for a few minutes
I tutted.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

"No, that was Bruce Wayne"

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

BlackGrapelol.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

The Sims is the most ridiculous game ever.
There's no 'end', it just keeps running and running. Eventually your guy just gets depressed and cries (and it's quite an upsetting sound) and moans that he hates his job. Then he refuses to go to his job. Then he gets fired. Then loads of stuff gets repossessed cos you've not paid the bills, or a burglar bowls in and picks up your snooker table and pops it into his swag bag that's the size of a Tesco carrier bag. Then your bloke moans that he has no mates and that he hates his life, and every time I played it he eventually died because of the multiple reasons above. The Death character waltzes onto your screen, takes your bloke away and there's a little gravestone by your front door. That's it. The end.

I played The Sims when I was about eight and I'm quite sure it's the reason I'm so miserable now.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:54, Reply)

In the Sims 3
your sims grow old and die and your Sims kids take over.

Are you sure you were playing the Sims and not just, y'know, living?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Is there a Waterproof Trousers expansion pack for the Sims?

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I don't get this waterproof trouser thing
splain pls?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Me and Vipros had a conversation about the merits or otherwise of brands of waterproof trousers
Much hilarity ensued.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

It did feel like art imitating life when I was playing it I must admit.
I would genuinely love to hear of someone who's done well on the original Sims though. Even when I used the cheat and made my bloke a millionaire and filled every room in the house with priceless art and plasma screen teles he'd still cry and then top himself.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

yeah my Sim in the original Sims kept crying
They've made it much less hard work in the new one, their mood bars don't decrease as quickly. The social one was such a pain on the old one, it would decrease constantly but you didn't have time to invite people over.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Knackered and mildly hanging
Amberl got me drunk last night and in return I spouted a load of bollocks at her, and then she was kind enough to give me her bed for the night, although I didn't sleep in it for very long. I don't really want to be in work today, I have to admit...
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

That sounds like a dull girlie night to me.
How many bottles of Lambrini did you get through?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Pfft
credit me with a little class, please! And definitely credit Amberl with a LOT more - we had a bottle of fizzy white and a bottle of merlot...
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Fizzy wine = Lambrini + Sodastream.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Lambrini isn't wine
It's perry
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

perry wee-wee
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

^ this
disgusting vile piss - I'd almost rather drink lager.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Lager is wonderful

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Some lagers are nice.
Japanese and Italian ones, particularly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Peroni is always a treat.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

When a pub has draught Peroni I am filled with joy*



*joy Peroni
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Agreed.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Place near me does it for £3.25 for a magnificent pint

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Yes, I'll grant you Asahi is drinkable.
As is Cobra.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I use to drink Tiger beer.
And Cobra is very nice with a curry.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Kirin Ichiban is my favourite.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I'll second that
One of the few lagers I'll drink.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Yep, its lovely stuff
Does sound like some kind of pharmaceutical remedy for shingles though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

My start to the day was FANTASTIC.
I stayed over and babysat last night, and was gutted to discover that my daughter was already asleep when I got there.

Not so this morning, when we had a dance, looked out at the snow (she was infinitely more impressed by the footprints 'like in Meg & Mog'), she asked me if the grubby white transit outside contained Father Christmas and then blubbed when I had to leave.

This is probably sickeningly twee for you all but, I am sorry to say, I couldn't give the tiniest shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Awww, that's lovely
You two are going to be great mates
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

There is a very tempting strikethrough here
But I'll leave it for today.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Reads
*Woke up, made child cry, Woo!*

Sounds lovely Monts
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:55, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Aw man she is totally going to wrap you round her little finger.
*nods sagely*
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I agree completely

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Unlike Monty's little finger which is permanently in a wrap of powder.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Well I'm not going to say where your finger is usually found.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I know no-ones care but LOOK!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

god she's cute
well done
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

She definitely has your miserable demeanour.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

She gets the scowl from her mum.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

That what I was going to say Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Aw, she's a little cutie
how old is she?
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

2 YEARS* and 4 months


*edited for retards' benefit
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Well which one is it?
*DEMANDS ANSWERS!*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

How did you manage to create such a cute person?
Are you sure you're the father?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

According to her birth certificate, her mother created her all by herself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Does look a bit like you were as a kid.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

hahahaha
POTD
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Pipe of the day

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Heh, sunshades in winter - she 's dead cool.

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Innit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

She'll be out in Hoxton before you know it.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

But, happily, not before he gets to know her.

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Dec 2010, 12:58, Reply)