b3ta personals
That would be fun, but I can't get the phrase "can of worms" out of my head, for some reason!

That said, I'm fascinated with this HoN thing just now, as I put faces to names.

One thing though - a lot of the women I think are borderline mingers on HoN (no b3tards of course!) actually have high scores, and vice versa. Eye of the beholder etc etc.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:55, Reply)

b3ta Personal Ads
will all read thus:

"(gender), (age), likes dossing about at work, beer, cerise genitalia, wltm similar. GSH, all own teeth."

(repeat 100+ times & counting)
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:51, Reply)

I was one of those horror internet dates you're all on about
About 6 years ago, I chatted regularly with this aussie bloke from a music forum we used to post on. We seemed to get on very well via email, so we decided to meet up in London while he was backpacking around Europe.
We'd seen a few piccies of each other, so knew what to expect looks-wise.

However, he was totally unprepared for the fact that I'm something of a social retard who is unable to even look at a vaguely nice looking bloke without turning the colour of a baboon's arse.

In a pathetic attempt to get over my crippling shyness, I took to guzzling copious amounts of Jack Daniels and coke(I thought that would make me look cool and worldly. Oh dear.) So much, in fact, that a mere 2 hours after meeting him, as we walked along Camden Lock, I exploded with vomit.
Yes, black sick erupting from what felt like every orifice in my face. It went everywhere.
Oh the shame, the horror.

To this day, I cannot face JD and neither, I suspect, can the poor aussie I splattered with it.
( gypsy turnips, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:51, Reply)

There ya go teran
*sympathy vote*
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:49, Reply)

Boo hoo
No votes at all for me.
(Teran Thinks Pogonophobia is funny, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:47, Reply)

b3ta personals
I wholeheartedly agree, b3ta personals has to happen.

On the hotornot front, I am scandalised at the number of 1s and 2s I've been getting! Who are these cretins??? ;-)
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:33, Reply)

I'm 75th!
... SO PROUD

Oh wait...
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:25, Reply)

oooo
A couple of 8s!

*cough* I'm single *cough cough*

which would explain the ones... bah.
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:16, Reply)

Just to agree with Woodside
that out of all the sites on the internet B3TA is
the biggest collection of undesirables and blaggards
ive have the pleasure of knowing over the years, my ex and
i met online many years
ago (she shall remain nameless
as she is well known )introduced me to b3ta and since then
the qotw has provided brilliant
advice on most problems for me.
Having
seen some B3ta beautys on hot or not i think Rob and Chthonic should start a b3ta dating site.
( Trollman, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:15, Reply)

Thanks B3ta
After reading a previous QOTW about meeting people on the internet I decided that I was missing out. Unfortunately for me the QOTW was “I met a weirdo on the internet” – yes I know the alarm bells should have been ringing but I considered myself streetwise enough not to get caught out……

So I joined up on a few sites and found that people actually wanted to talk to me; trouble is for every nice one there seemed to be ten weirdo’s. Highlights included the Czech girl who told so many lies I doubt she knew what the true was anymore and the self-harmer who wanted me to meet her so I could carve things into her arms.

Eventually I was contacted up with one girl who lived near me and we seemed to have similar interests. I’d also started to develop a good friendship with another girl who wasn’t local and deciding honesty was the best way forward I told them both about each other. Met the local girl; but we didn’t click as I’d like so I decided that friendship was the only thing that was going to happen. She seemed Ok to start with but eventually started sending e-mails saying “it’s the other girl isn’t it” before getting quite aggressive about it; so much so in the end even friendship wasn’t an option.

Anyway all this meant I became less trusting of people I’d met on the internet and as a result I missed my chance with not so local girl and I pretty much stopped using the internet to meet people.

However looking at the number of people who’ve met via myspace I might have to give it a try. Click I Like This if you think I’m a sucker for punishment…..
(Rev O'Lucian will unfortunatly age on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:37, Reply)

I...
...don't really have a good story to put here.

Sorry. I'll sign up for some dodgy sites immediately and start right away!

But I put myself on the hotornot list as audiorape. With a fucking old photo.

Glee.
( gone, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:28, Reply)

HoN
Waiting for the acct to confirm but yes, that's me....same username, no spaces....
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:17, Reply)

IT
I'm in IT, I'm not that bad looking, I have some sense, I'm obsessively* clean, I don't have any games consoles

I'm normal....

I mean, normal as far as I only want to shoot the place up with a rifle twice a week....

I might do me a personals ad and see how many responses I get with that one...

*Knocking on the door of OCD actually....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:13, Reply)

Out of sheer desperation, I joined a dating site for fatties, paedophiles, rapists and other general-purpose undesirables
IT WAS CALLED B3TA.COM! LOL!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:12, Reply)

It's been a while
since HoN was mentioned, used to waste hours in school with that... Anyhoo, on as child_of_malcav and pretty high up since when??
Turns out the best thing to do is just ignore your profile for a year or two and your score goes up and up.
Anyway the QOTW, ahem, yes.
I once had a dating site profile, not very much effort put into getting a good picture or lying in the description to make me sound interesting so naturally got sod all responces.
Then...
I had it running in a background tab, yep while friends were there, big mistake as you all know.
Within days i was rather bemused to find 30/40 messages from dirty old men most containing cock shots of imfamous nastiness
Went onto my profile, nothing had changed, no "send me your hairy, warty todger pics" or "i love cock" slogans adorned the page. What had they done for fooks sake?
Turns out they simply changed the orientation from straight to gay, anticlimax i know
(except for some of the old dirty bastards anyway)
(Malcav, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:01, Reply)

Lunar Jim..
Unfortunately, stereotypes like that come to exist because they are heavily accurate. 99% of all IT people ARE like that, and if you're any different then you're one of the select few that god smiled upon.

Congratulations :)
(BatCountry organised, attended, and was thrown out on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:57, Reply)

A big no-no...
Never mention to anyone that you work in IT.
This screams to the woman (or man) concerned that you are sad, socially inarticulate, introverted and weird and probably spend more time than is healthy playing Tomb Raider in a darkened room.
She/He will assume you have no discernable fashion sense or style, that your personal hygiene is seriously lacking, and you are so nervous in social situations that you baulk at your own shadow.
They will also envisage a night of conversation about computers, microsoft and jokes about the Windows Operating system that nobody but IT employees ever understand.

On no account mention you work in IT, if the topic enters the conversation, simply lie and say you are a fluffer or rent boy, or something more credible than IT.
(Vic Flange, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:31, Reply)

I came this morning...
...into work (you thought I was going to say something else? filthy beasts!) and found the QOTW has HoN references plastered all over it.

Imagine how happy I was to discover that I'm going to have to wait over 10 hours before I can get home and upload my picture, by which time you'll all be piss bored of doing this, the subject will have changed to something completely different, and I'll miss out again.

pfft

For what it's worth and wierd as it is to put faces to names, I want you all to know that past and present B3tard friendships, messages, advice and shared experiences will not sway me on how my votes for you will be cast. I will vote honestly based on my own worthless, hypocritical, superficial references of plain damn hottiness. So there.

(Now i'm off to wrack my brains trying to remember a photo taken of myself where I don't look like the bastard lovechild of Rick Astley, Clive Allen and something I just scraped off my shoe...Maybe 10 hours isn't enough...)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:31, Reply)

HoN
Picture up, god save us all!! So how many times have poeple given themselves 10 so far..........i've lost count!

BoudiccaV.......your lovely!
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:27, Reply)

OK
so I jumped on the HoN thing too. What? It's mildly more diverting than my job today.

On a slightly more relevant note, Friday-ads XXX personals has some corkers from time to time. Sometimes we get it in my house just to read and laugh at them, never mind the useful ads.

'Sexy woman wants to be stretched...' I mean, jebus, you couldn't make this stuff up.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:26, Reply)

JTW
I was 90th last time I checked, quit whining.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:24, Reply)

HoN WTF?
13th? Frankly, I'm insulted.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:20, Reply)

Plkrtn
Don't do that. That would be mean.

I'm happy to report that I've mainly been weirdo free on the site I use.

I like reading the messages in the london paper, although some of them sound a bit stalker-ish.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:16, Reply)

Chatted up
Bunch of hot lady-like students collared me. Wanted me to sponsor them for some charity thang.

They were being VERY persuasive, so I played my 'get out of gaol free' card - "Sorry, ladies, I'm gay."

Unfazed, one gal whistles to her mate and shouts "OI! DAVE - THIS ONE'S YOURS!"

Not so much a personal ad, more a public display. We went for a very nice drink but didn't take it further.

Length? I didn't let it get that far.
(Dionysian Aut viam inveniam aut faciam, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:15, Reply)

I've missed something
where are people voting??
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:54, Reply)

7.3
I can live with that.

Actually... I met the current MissRabidRodent on HoN. I don't get out much.

(No, really. I'm a freelance computer consultant, social life... what's that?)

Anyway, back on topic. Not me, but MissRabidRodent. Before she met me she was talking to this guy on MSN who seemed really nice.

Then he sent her pics.

Of him tied naked to a bed wearing a gimp mask.

Riiiiiight...

(Oh, and Rachelswipe, I just voted you 10, so there!)
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:49, Reply)

Good enough to eat
When I was 18 and really fat I decided to sign up for a dating site as I was desperate for some lady love. I think my favourite response was 'You're so fat I could feed you to my kids for a month'. Nice.

Still - I look a bit better these days, in at number 2 on the HoN scoreboard 'psycho_jelly_babies'
(quantum raspberry quizzically quashing Quebecans, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:49, Reply)

HumptyDumptyWasPushed
Are we voting for the one on the right or on the left?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:43, Reply)

Thats it, you're all b3tards!
Yes, i gave in. I hate these things.
Bastards.

I hope you're all happy.

*scowl*

I must say... you're not all as ugly as i thought ;)
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:41, Reply)