My grandma...
...was sitting at the dinner table with other members of the family, eating and chatting. At one point the conversation turned to "how my friends are doing at uni", so I described that one of my male friends has a new boyfriend, and I'm really happy for them since it's been a challenge getting over his last break up.

There's silence for a few seconds. My nanny dishes up some peas. "Well, you be extra nice to him then Siv."

"Er... why?" I ask, rather asking for it.

"He was obviously abused when he was a kid. Probably by some older bloke, like his dad or something. Getting into a relationship will be a big thing for him!"

Yes folks, that's right... my grandma believes that to be gay you have to have been abused when you were a kid. She's "extra nice" to them because of that belief.

My friend's going to visit me in the summer. Not looking forward to them meeting now...
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 14:06, 2 replies)

Another Norn Irish person
Unlike my compatriots in the earlier post, although born in Belfast, my parents brought me to England to live in the early '70s. My early school days were not the most enjoyable of my life.

It all started well enough, kids thought it amusing that I said certain words differently, fillum instead of film (for those from NI, try saying these two words in an English accent and it will make sense). But seeing as my school mates were mostly of the dropped h and t variety, lots of my words sounded different, not just because of my country of birth. It would have been somewhere around my third year of school, 1977, when some bright spark realised that the people in the IRA were all Irish, I was Irish, therefore I was a terrorist. Ah, the joys of being eight years old and my friends repeatedly making jokes about me bombing them. This continued, pretty much until the last couple of years at school. No amount of explaining that all six of my uncles had served, or were still serving in the British Forces, or that I was happy with the way things were as far as NI being part of the UK would persuade them that I was not in the IRA.

Sorry, the more I think about it, the less I can manage to make it amusing.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 14:05, 2 replies)

I try hard not to be prejudiced
As I think most prejudice stems from ignorance and would like to think that I’m not ignorant. However, I do have to make any exception for anyone who forms their opinions purely on what they have read it the Daily Mail or anyone who thinks Bono is a saint when he’s clearly a cunt of the highest order. I am very happy to be prejudiced against people who fall in to either category.
EDIT for typo
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 14:01, 6 replies)

Today the midwife gave me a leaflet about the benefits of using homeopathy in childbirth.
I am incredibly prejudiced against any medical professional who advocates something so utterly fucktarded.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:59, 18 replies)

Living in north London
I went into a local shop to buy some milk and was told "don't give me the evil eye, white boy. You a fucking racist or sommat?" by the lovely lady behind the counter.

she was clearly white, and there was nobody else in the shop.

I've never been so confused.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:55, 5 replies)

Advice from a teacher
If your name is Kevin: Avoid crossing my path. Seriously.
(timbolator successfully hiding from the authorities on, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:47, 1 reply)

gran torino- dad edition.
my dad. once heard to utter the phrase 'you don't often see that' looking at a black guy playing on the beach with his little girl 'the dad's don't hang about usually' and refer to a black child as a 'delightful little niglet'
the same guy that stepped in despite walking on crutches, and having 6 heart attacks of varying sizes and severities, a stent, and many sundry other serious conditions, to stop a young chavvy white guy who was roughing up his black girlfriend in a park. the same guy that uses 'coon' and 'nig-nog' in conversation. the same guy that i remember inches from my face, bright red with rage, spittle flying, screaming 'no son of mine is going to grow up a fucking RACIST' after an incident where i'd called the only black girl in my school fat bitch and she'd insisted i said 'black bitch' (admittedly, one is fattist, the other racist, but she was both fat and a bitch)

what a confused man he is. he means well, and i don't think he'd treat you any differently depending on your skin colour if he saw you stuck by the road in the rain, but he's got some weird old notions, and uses some totally inappropriate language for things.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:46, 4 replies)

Horse racing
I have seen Lester Piggott's house and it looks nothing like his cock.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:43, Reply)

The Middle Classes
I will freely admit I have a chip on my shoulder about the middle classes. Perhaps it stems from growing up in a country where the English class system is quite irrelevant. However, since moving ten years ago to the land of afternoon teas and cricket on the green, I developed an intense dislike of the comfortably well-off.

It's the smug, right-on bubble of liberal organic veg buyers I hate the most. You know the sort - not a clue in the world: they have coffee in delis; they spend weekends in the West Country eating in bistros in charming little market towns; they call their children quaint old-fashioned names like "George", "Arthur", "Emily", and "Mabel"; and they listen to world music. Twats. I detest their cosy little circle where nothing bad ever happens, where they've never known what it's like to be dirt poor, where their destinies are a prescribed solid education, a 2:1 from a decent University and the unwaivering (financial and/or emotional) support of their loving parents.

Even more, I detest the fact that despite growing up in poverty in a family of alcoholics, with parents who left school at 16, in an area classified as socially deprived, I now fall into the higher tax bracket and had olive bread and houmous for lunch. I've turned into those fuckers by dint of education and lunch choices. Having said that, it wasn't any fun being working class either. At least I don't have to eat watery mince stew anymore.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:39, 40 replies)

Anybody who's white and has dreadlocks...
...is a fucking wanker
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:38, 20 replies)

I've actually met a nice South African.
I've also met three nice Germans, (one being my mother), and two who had a good sense of humour, (one again being my mother). I've met an average Joe American who wasn't obese and I know of someone who went out with a black guy who's willy was of average size.

Crazy I know!
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:33, 1 reply)

defusing racial tension with the aid of Bono
A while back when visiting the other half's family in Lisburn, Norn Iron, i found myself sitting outside a club in belfast conversing with a friend. soem local skanks overheard, spotted my english accent and came wading in. i was very rapidly proclaimed as, in no particular order, a squaddie, gay, and uneducated.. all of which i laughed off, and they ended up being very friendly. then their fat bearded gimli-alike friend came over and loudly proclaimed 'I don't like oliver cromwell!' and fixed me (and an area a few degrees to either side- he was somewhat inebriated) with his very best withering hard-man stare.

'never met him, little bit before my time mate' replied i. 'while we're on the topic of cunts though, when are you lot going to apologise for Bono? eh?'

he took rather a shine to me after that and insisted on buying me a drink.
never thought i'd say it, but thanks bono!
you cunt.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:32, 2 replies)

My mate Gav used to go out with a girl with very scary hair
If you buried a lump of coal in this girl’s curly golden locks then returned to have a rummage round a few minutes later you’d have yourself a rather spiffy diamond because this girl sported the tightest most intense perm imaginable. And her hair was long so it bunched up above her heard afro-style. Factor in that she had freakishly pale skin and was a bit on the gangly side and you’d realize she could’ve passed for an albino member of the Harlem Globe Trotters circa 1972.

I just happened to be in a pub taking the piss out of Gav for this. “That girl. You know. The Kevin Keegan in drag girl? What the fuck were you thinking?”

To which he’d counter: “This from a bloke who used to fuck a girl we all nicknamed Manchild.”

Fair plays – he sort of had me there. So, with the score one-all in the taking-the-piss-out-of-who-you’ve-put-you’re-dick-in stakes, I decided to go to the bog for a much needed piss. I’m winding my way between the crowded tables and random punters stood about watching Sky Sports. Then a thought occurs to me. That girl, the girl with the perm from the sixth level of Hell, she looked more like a… Yep… Definitely… Hee… Hee…

Ha!!! I started laughing to myself. This was good. (OK, not that good, but I was about five pints in and way past giving a shit anymore).

Halfway to the bog I turned and shouted back at my mate Gav: “Oiiiiiii !!!” That got his attention. And also the attention of the rest of the drinkers in the near vicinity. “AT LEAST I’M NOT A SHEEP SHAGGER !!! YOU SHAGGED A SHEEP !!! HA !!! WHADDYA THINK ABOUT THAT???”

I had to leave pretty quickly after being threatened with death by several random strangers.

Wankers. Can’t a bloke accuse he’s mate of fucking a sheep in a public place anymore, I mean, what the fuck has the world come to???

OK, maybe next time I shouldn’t do it in a crowded pub in Cardiff on a Saturday night…
( SpankyHanky, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:30, 2 replies)

I'm a white, middle-class, hetrosexual English male in his mid-30s
Though my life I have been informed that as a direct result of the above I know nothing of prejudice, that men are rapists and bastards, that whites are exploitative prejudice wankers, that I'm just a fucking breeder, and that I'm too young to understand.

Obviously being middle class is just unutterably unforgivable, and entirely my own fault, and thus goes without saying, and the fucking English are all cunts.

Which is good to know.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:27, 6 replies)

CND!
Dad was in the army, I was an army brat. For a brief period in 1984 (aged 11) I was anti CND and I had a hatred of those dirty Lesbians who campaigned against nuclear bombs...

From Jayne (age 37), a dirty lesbian, Amnesty member and peace campaigner!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:24, 5 replies)

Institutional discrimination is a bag of wank.
This isn't funny, just annoying.

My brother has Down's syndrome, and his learning difficulties are pretty severe even for a Down's. He doesn't talk except for baby gibberish, he can't read, write, count beyond about 12, or do maths of any sort. He needs round the clock care and isn't travel trained (i.e. he can't be out unsupervised). Therefore, he can't be left to manage his own bank account (which he has for the purposes of benefits or something; I don't know, I'm not in charge of it, our mum is). The Co-operative Bank refused to give him an account because they couldn't cope with the idea of a person owning an account but someone else (our mum) managing it. We kept explaining the situation over and over again but they didn't get it, and kept making stupid suggestions ('could he do it over the phone?', 'no, we've been through this, he can't talk' etc.). Fuck's sake - they're called the caring bank, so you'd think they would have less bullshit than other banks. In the end we gave up and tried Barclays, and they were very courteous and helpful. Are people with learning difficulties just not allowed to have money in the Co-op's world?

Fortunately we've yet to experience any medical discrimination - anyone else remember the case of people with learning difficulties being given inadequate treatment by A&E staff? Plenty of people with Down's and other learning difficulties get treated as though they're just being difficult.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:22, 14 replies)

Racks brains
Can't think of anything. Unless it's counted as prejudice because I don't like genuinely nasty people; blatant bigots (Jan Moir and friends for example), violent people such as those that will beat a pensioner half to death, paedophiles and rapists.

I'd say prejudice is an irrational thing. I imagine a good few posts will appear on here over the next 7 days by people who will try to be witty by making racists statements (whether they believe it or not).

I will have no time for them.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:21, 1 reply)

I always pat my pockets down and check for my wallet/phone
every time I'm near one of those.... You know blacks
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:18, 5 replies)

The Police
It was the Summer Holidays and I was 13. My mate and I were in the middle of a corn field messing around with matches, as you do when you're that age. We'd got a small fire going, but within minutes this had grown to quite a large fire, and it was spreading fast. We did what any normal teenagers would do and ran like the wind, leaving the fire to what it pleased.

As we neared the road at the end of the field, two policemen appeared and told us to stop. My heart was in my mouth as I'd never been in trouble with the police before.

"We've been called about two youngsters setting fire to a field".

We all looked behind us and the smoke was now thick, forming a blanket. The end of the field was hidden from view and the flames were getting bigger. Quick as a flash, my mate piped up,

"We saw two Asian fellows running the other way. We've just come to get help"

And with that, the policemen ran off across the field in pursuit.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:18, 2 replies)

I'm a very tolerant chap
I make an exception for intolerant people though. Fucking hate them.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I've travelled extensively and can report that people everywhere are all pretty much the same.
10% are great, 80% are ok and 10% are twats.
The only variations are the Finns, with a 45-50-5 ratio, and Australians who are more like 5-5-90.
( Zuowan, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:01, 10 replies)

All those fuckers that get all excited about answering a question early
hate them

apart from this week .
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:01, 2 replies)

Victim of prejudice?
b3ta.com/questions/ginger/

Admittedly, it doesn't wind me up as much as it does some idiots but still. It gets on my tits a bit, all the ginger hatin'.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:01, 11 replies)

No niggers or Irish
should post here.
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:00, 2 replies)

I'm a bigot
I hate stupid people. I think they should be rounded up and sent back to where they came from.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Yes
Of course I am, I'm a man of the cloth*

*May not be entirely true
(RTFM May your god go with you, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Does it count as prejudice if you hate everyone equally?
apart from Bono. I really hate that cunt.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:57, Reply)

As a Northern Irish b3tan I must point out that I am in no way sectarian, bigotted or prejudiced.
Only the prods are.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:56, 6 replies)

first
I am often described as a northern monkey, being a displaced Lancastrian in the South of England...........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:54, 3 replies)