repressed memories
how you first encountered your parents having sex then repressed until you had to learn about it in school and it all came in vivid vivid detail.

oh good god no...not the flashbacks...noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(Quiet, you!, Sun 26 Sep 2004, 21:56, Reply)

This may appeal to only a limited number of B3tans, but...
...I'd like to hear peoples 'coming out' stories. Here's mine:


( owain2002, Sun 26 Sep 2004, 14:16, Reply)

Oooh....
What about the first time you ever got drunk??
Surely everyone remembers stealing 20/20, sherry and lovage out o the parents' drinks cupboard?
(Supacherry, Sat 25 Sep 2004, 17:13, Reply)

Chavs, pikies, townies, scrotes......
I'll probably be right in thinking that this has been suggested already.... but there must be some great chav-related stories of specialty out there? Like the stupid burberries that stole beer and lambrini from my place of work, and legged it to their house..... next door but two to the shop.

Needless to say, I knocked on the door of the ensuing chav party with an officer of the law in tow.

Community service. Hah!

Another gem would be - weird people you have worked with. Though it could turn out similar to flatmates from hell...
(Supacherry, Sat 25 Sep 2004, 17:06, Reply)

Tried to impress
by saying or doing something, that has then horribly backfired
(Flurble - The Innocent One, Fri 24 Sep 2004, 15:47, Reply)

.
Stories about breasts and/or farts.
(Wrecked Tums, Fri 24 Sep 2004, 14:00, Reply)

Things you've eaten that you shouldnt have eaten
List of things ive eaten include-

-Fish head
-Raw lamb heart (biology lesson)
-Bitten head off of live hampster (freddie starr impression)
-Roll-mops dipped in chocolate spread
-Entire jar of bovril (the big ones) (earned 50p on a bet)
-Glass
-Drank 10 raw eggs
-Old spice (the aftershave)
-Domestos
-Wire-wool
-My dead cats feet

All true, but have you eaten anything worse?
(45thgenerationroman, Fri 24 Sep 2004, 13:17, Reply)

Rubbish Jobs
I once had a job in a butchers where i had to clean the mincer and wash the cooler wall clean of pigs blood. also worked in a slaughter house "puntureing" the cattles skulls. Any one had any worse jobs?
(45thgenerationroman, Fri 24 Sep 2004, 13:11, Reply)

Funny school fights and bullys
Funny things things that have happened in school fights. people who fight like retards, kickings you have taken (or given). evil things bullys have done. etc.
(45thgenerationroman, Fri 24 Sep 2004, 13:06, Reply)

excrutiating childhood memories...
what's the worsestestest childhood memory you can remember in your life? and explain in full gory detail!
(quiet_snails, Fri 24 Sep 2004, 12:46, Reply)

Why you don't work THERE anymore...
Appualing behaviour resulting in sackings, piss-poor redundancy deals and excuses, Handing your notice in with a gift-wrapped pooh etc. etc. etc.
(Squirrel with a gun, Fri 24 Sep 2004, 10:26, Reply)

most ignoble/derogatory instance
in which you've been captured via photograph, video camera, etc.
(Corn Dog, Fri 24 Sep 2004, 1:34, Reply)

How about:
Ideas to improve B3ta? Ideas to improve the site, they could be fun ideas, jokes or perhaps some serious suggestions.
( Squiggy Alloria makes theme parks., Thu 23 Sep 2004, 18:36, Reply)

Missed opportunities
Specifically those where it was on a plate, and in retrospect you wonder how you could have been so stupid/innocent/naive and spent the next few days (years in my case) kicking yourself.

Absolutely gorgeous. I am so stupid sometimes...
( 0nyx, Thu 23 Sep 2004, 16:25, Reply)

Have you ever been to Belgium?
Not sure why, but it's a terrible country and I got pissed there once and it was quite funny...
( Argh. There be scallys in the ranks., Thu 23 Sep 2004, 13:03, Reply)

Best things you've said to a cold caller.

( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Tue 21 Sep 2004, 20:57, Reply)

whats the most embarrasing think you've done whilst drunk?
Drunken nights out disaters.
(deathphoiadeath, Tue 21 Sep 2004, 18:27, Reply)

Chav's!!
CHAV stories, your encounters with the other species sharing our towns and cities.

May have already been posted as a possible question but i think it's well worth mentioning twice. Im sure everbody has got funny stories or stories of anger and hatred.
(nobodyremembersmyname, Mon 20 Sep 2004, 14:19, Reply)

Here's a good one...
Best insults given to Jehovah's witnesses...(the ones who come to your house and try to convert you.)
(Pixel, Mon 20 Sep 2004, 10:08, Reply)

Things I've said about people not realising they were there.
Including "Paul Sadd - that's an unfortunate name."

I nearly died.

...and my soul is cleansed.
( dbond, Sat 18 Sep 2004, 10:53, Reply)

I've been pondering for a while...
Why don't manufacters make airplanes and jets as tough and fireproof like the black boxes inside them?
(R.Danzig, Fri 17 Sep 2004, 21:43, Reply)

not strictly on-topic
but wuold it be possible to add a search facility to open questions, so there aren't so many blatent reply copies?

Hugh
(5lab, Fri 17 Sep 2004, 15:16, Reply)

pubs
Roughest pub you've ever been to - I know Sky 1 did it, but they weren't really that rough.
(yiddo, Fri 17 Sep 2004, 13:32, Reply)

Most Bizzarre Lie you told.... and now live with
We've all told Porkie-Pies from now and then, but some come back to bite our ass... Do we deny it and live up to it? NO!!! We carry on with the pretence.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 17 Sep 2004, 11:36, Reply)

what you invisage as you orgasm.
every time you orgasm, a single vision must pop up. it doesn't have to be sexual. next time you fwap away... just take a second to remember that picture coz as soon as it comes (pardon the pun) it goes again.
(Domothy, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 21:02, Reply)

1st year at uni stories
or

your great cover ups - the things you got away with
( connor, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 12:07, Reply)

Verbal Blunders.
Surprised we haven't done this already really. My freind once remarked, "J'wobwob!" See, you want the full story now.
(Xiaon, Mon 13 Sep 2004, 19:04, Reply)

Farts
Give us your stories about milk-curdling, nose burning, knicker staining, sheet lifting, vomit inducing thunderbusters of farts!
(Wrecked Tums, Mon 13 Sep 2004, 11:47, Reply)

Interactions with foreigners
My favourite was telling two female french exchange students in my RE lesson that my friend was 'un gay'.

This was before the days of b3ta otherwise I would have said he likes 'les bumsexuels'. Oui oui, Saucisson!!
(McChaff, Sun 12 Sep 2004, 13:24, Reply)

Losing your cherry...
...my loss of virginity was a *total* disaster, although she was very kind about it...
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 16:10, Reply)