Room 101
Why hasn't this been done already?

Saying that, I appear to hate everyone and everything so perhaps I should put me in it....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 25 May 2007, 12:15, Reply)

Smartass Police Comebacks
While in Suffolk, I was pulled over 3 times for "suspicious behaviour" - or "driving while black" as I commented on to one police officer (bad idea, by the way)

I agree with The_Greyhound - we've all done it.....

C'mon - Lets do that as a QOTW :o)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 25 May 2007, 12:13, Reply)

Whats the worst thing you've said to the Rozzers
Pretty self explanatory really, we've all had those smart arse moments with the Cnutstables, we've all had those moments when it gets you into a whole world of misery. Lets share the hilarity!
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Fri 25 May 2007, 11:26, Reply)

Anything
which doesn't degenerate into a grimace-inducing punfest after 4 hours, for the love of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit; the Blessed Mother Mary; the Heavenly Host of Angels; the communion of Saints; the forgiveness of sins; the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting, amen.
(SurferRosa causing the lamentation of the womenfolk since, Thu 24 May 2007, 15:27, Reply)

The irony of Tasmin Archer
I was unfortunately reminded of her today - so had a look to see if she'd done anything worth listening to. The sample site I found had a selection of tracks that said

"
Hope
A Day will come
Violence
When it comes down to it
I Would Love To Be Right
"

Any more out there?
(Biff..., Thu 24 May 2007, 14:49, Reply)

Meeting your significant other
Your stories - sappy or otherwise - on how you came to meet your present wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/fuck buddy

I had the good fortune of winning a ticket to the theatre in an office prize draw. This rather pleasant young lady from the next office also won theatre tickets, so we decided to go together.

We have been married for sixteen years.

I won my wife in a raffle.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 May 2007, 11:55, Reply)

I hate to say it...
When was the last time you got to say everyones favourite sentence...I Told You So?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 24 May 2007, 8:21, Reply)

Room 101
I'm with the room 101 suggestion. It could be soooo good!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 23 May 2007, 17:54, Reply)

Crimes
you've gotten away with.

Maybe not the ones that would have earned you life in prison.

Unless the confession will help you emotionally.
(barrycounty, Wed 23 May 2007, 6:27, Reply)

The photo you wish had never been taken.
There's a photo of me with a couple of young ladies, taken after we've been playing with a bottle of H.P. sauce. They've written fuck you on my chest and stomach, but being as we're all naked,it looks like I've been indulging in a bit of scat play.

What's the photo you wish had never been taken?
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 22 May 2007, 22:49, Reply)

LIES!!!
An ex once told me, in all seriousness, that you could get stomach cancer by eating jackect potatoes cooked in the microwave.

What lies have been spun to you, or been spun by your own wicked self?
( Droog is too orangey for crows, Tue 22 May 2007, 13:04, Reply)

Waterbeds
fuckit, probably not worth a whole qotw itself but i'm bored so I'll suggest it anyway.

Waterbeds, as you may well know, are great for fucking in. The sleepings not so bad either and the fact that they are heated to body temp means they are never cold (unless you don't know how to use a thermostat).
Sadly though, they have there own bizarre drawbacks. Midnight waves are not always a good thing.
I'd fallen asleep whilst reading, mainly as I'd had a couple of large doobies. I used to have a bad habit of balancing the ashtray on my knees. This was bad because I also had a fecking huge ashtray and it was always full to the brim with dogends.
Well, you know when you sometimes 'jerk' in your sleep and wake yourself up? Imagine doing that with a big fuckoff sized ashtray full of dogends on your lap. Then imagine the wave you've caused with your 'jerk' and how you are now flaying about trying to get your balance whilst swimming in a sea of dogends whilst your girlfriend screams obsenities at you.

Feckin weird way to wake up I can tell you...
(EvilMeister, Tue 22 May 2007, 0:36, Reply)

Room 101
Oh yes. We have to get this as a QOTW.

Can you imagine the posting carnage here?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 21 May 2007, 17:25, Reply)

Room 101
I,ve just been Watching room 101 on tv,if anybody aint seen it celebrities name 5 things they like to banish into a fictitous room forever.Could be anything you like....Like some examples from previous shows..... dog turds,morris dancers,boy bands...What things really get on your tits and you,d like to see gone forever?
(andycrass loves two hats on, Sun 20 May 2007, 2:46, Reply)

Burglars are really crap!
Well, probably. I've never been burgled - wanna give it a go? I'm out most weekend nights from 7 - 11.30pm and you could get lucky on a weekday, so come on - your "burgled" stories OR JUST DO MY PLACE MUDDYFUNSTERS!*


*actually please don't.
(thinkthinkthink ... on ..., Sat 19 May 2007, 19:27, Reply)

socially awkward moments
Said something you really didn't think about beforehand? talk about you're crossing of social faux-pa's and the awkward situations they have caused, e.g.:
I was with some of my friends outside a bowls green, when one of my friends made a slightly rascist joke, then proceeded to look around to make sure no one of the aforementioned race was around, to which i responded "why are you looking around? you know they don't let n*****s on the green!"
(serge-fabrizio taught the Talk to Frank robot to call him father, Sat 19 May 2007, 15:00, Reply)

stupid things sed on the phone
interesting connections: in the staff room at X college, barry's pay has been messed about again, he called finance and got the ring around-passed on from person to person etc.
he says to me: these fucking wankers haven't got a fucking clue...
then on the phone: oh, who? and do you know who you're talking to?
no? well fuck off then! and slammed the phone down.
he'd been passed to the head of finance who'd over heard the 'these fucking wankers' bit, to say do you know who you're talking to?
and so got:
"oh, who? and do you know who you're talking to?" and the phone slam.
incidentally these were the same people who organised a brewery visit and turned up on the wrong day-true!
(mickturate if i could be arsed i'd be bored, Wed 16 May 2007, 14:27, Reply)

Filling the silence
Sometimes a room will go silent, and thiers allways one person who's not aware of this. So I want know what has been said to a whole room by accident.

This may sound like "stuff you have overheard" but quite frankly i dont care as I was at a party last night and as the drink flowed a staring contest broke out in the kitchen. The whole party but a small group stopped to watch.



"3,2,1 stairing contest"

*everyone but one stops talking*

"..WHEN I PULLED OUT IT WAS ALL COVERED IN SHIT!!"



thank you i just wanted to share that with the rest of the world.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 15 May 2007, 13:35, Reply)

In my day...
When I was 12-13, I regularly travelled from Heathrow to Kings Cross on the tube by myself - carrying two fuck off great suitcases and two overnight bags. Unbelievably, I was never raped, mugged, abducted or murdered.

What did you do as a child / teenager that we would never in a million years let our own children do?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 14 May 2007, 10:30, Reply)

My "I'm Going to Hell" Story.
Apart from the usual masturbation,thieving,fighting,and being a general git, the worst thing i've ever done was throw stuff at a person in a wheelchair.
Granted i was only 4 years old, but still i feel bad from time to time.

What's the worst thing anyone here has ever done?
(Lil' Alan, Sun 13 May 2007, 21:57, Reply)

What;'s the strangest thing you've stolen?
When my boyf was a student, I used to steal him toilet rolls...
(fuzzibear, Sat 12 May 2007, 12:31, Reply)

Best fluke that happened to you
Aged 9, lost my sparkly toy ring in the gravel pit (yep, we were allowed to play in a gravel pit in those days). I picked up a coin, kissed it for luck and tossed it into the pit hoping it would indicate where the ring was. And fuck me it did exactly that.
(bonjelafiend, Fri 11 May 2007, 22:17, Reply)

Stories of encounters with monkeys or other aggressive animals
one time, I was in phetchaburi, trying to find these caves but was rather lost
and I bought a bunch of tiny bananas for 10 baht from this prune-like old woman with no teeth and flies. I stepped away from her stall and took my bag off my back so I could the bananas in and the BAM! this big fucking monkey leaps out of nowhere and yoinks the bananas right off me and then scurries back a couple of feet and sits his fat ass down. Just litteraly four feet away from me, he's not scared of reprisals, he's clearly the man or rather the monkey around here, he's got a couple of bellies on the go and he's standing his ground. So I'm trying to figure out how to get my bananas back, should I just grab them? will he bite me and give me rabies? maybe I could just growl at him to scare him away? and then the little bastard goes and pisses on the bananas while he's just sitting there and I decide that he can keep the bananas after all and walk off leaving the cackiling old woman to her flies
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 11 May 2007, 18:16, Reply)

Whats the least amount of work you had to do to pull?
at a party sometime in 2005:
Girl:"where do you live"
Housemate:"at [not telling you]avenue"
G:" oh wow! ive shagged five people on that road!"
H:"want To make it a clean half dozen?"

H: *gets laid*
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 11 May 2007, 18:06, Reply)

The one time...
I have allways appreciated classic cars. So when the oportunity to buy a 1989 ford escort came up i jumped at the chance. Seeing as these are easlily broken into, I am careful to put a wheel lock on. The one time i forgot chavs broke in by forcing the doors open doing at least 20 quids worth of damage.

bastards
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 11 May 2007, 18:02, Reply)

corporate eeeevil!
When have you been screwed over by an evil mega-corporation?
(teasus likes tea, Fri 11 May 2007, 14:44, Reply)

and then the moment died
y'know when you are with someone and theres an emotional moment, perhaps a soppy moment in a film or a nice starry night. How did you kill that moment?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 11 May 2007, 10:04, Reply)

how about
lousy fucking bastard men? there's a question!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 May 2007, 0:29, Reply)

Exams!
although lol@ when did you first see goatse, brilliant.
(Lannes, Thu 10 May 2007, 18:49, Reply)