This is really depressing, and it's raining.
Fucking depressed today these stories don't help and the rain, and the full moon! Howwwwl.

Fucking my best friend, who is married to a nice but boring bloke. Fucking her alot over 3 months.

Almost dumping my really nice sexy girl friend because of it.

Telling her we should just go back to being friends, then shagging her again 3 weeks later, now she's done it to me, and I'll feel like I've folded and she's used me.

Don't really want to be friends anymore, but keep seeing her as she's friends with my GF and I'm friends with her husband. Really want to punch the posh cow in the face!

Oh well all my fault really! Life it's a roller coaster of a ride hey.
(ruud316, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 9:26, Reply)

for those who regret not having had sex

with someone, on the grounds that they were very hot.

Don't - how good sex is has nothing to do with how attractive the other person is.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 9:24, Reply)

Short-sighted high morals...
At the height of my career as a graphic artist and hand-lettering go-to guy, I was approached to copy a university official's signiature to a phony diploma for the son of an African ruler...$2000 Canadian for 10 minutes work. I guess I was overpaid at the time and now ,having set aside my work because of illness, and living on a stipend, I recognize conceit as a basis for morality...not very funny or lighthearted but hey- you asked.
(fuckstockings will never go to trial, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 9:14, Reply)

A long one, I'm sorry. A few years ago, I was good friends with a girl we shall call "Miss X"
AS the geeky computer nerd that I am, I was often called upon by my friends to sort things out with their computers. So I didn't find it unusual that Miss X requested that I go to hers after school one afternoon to sort out her computer.
For background information, Miss X is the sort of girl that any guy, be he teenage or not, adores on sight. Slinky body, pert large breasts, long flowing hair. Seeing her was like seeing a very fine piece of art work. And, having strong Catholic views, it was well-known that she was a virgin, and hadn't even had a boyfriend. I was in love with her, and assumed that she was well out of my league, for somewhat obvious reasons.
I go round to her house, and we flirt in a friendly way. Her computer is well and truly up shit creek, and seeing that it is going to take several hours, she invites me back another time.
It is the fifth and final time I went that is the important one. I had to go out that day with my then-new-girlfriend, and so I said I would come round early in the morning, just after her parents left for work. So I did, and notice how very nice her bedroom is. Incense wafts around the room, and I put it down to her not wanting me to smell her night farts (I'm obviously very romantically-minded).
I sit down to do the job, and she asks if I mind if she has a shower. I say no. She has an en-suite, and the door cannot be fully closed, and therefore I hear every splash every trickle of water hitting her young nubile naked body. But I was strong, and stayed at the computer. She then comes out of the shower, wearing only a towel and, brushing herself against me, inquires as to how it's going, breathing on my neck and massaging my shoulders. We chat. I try to surreptitiously cover up my boner.
She then tells me to continue looking at the screen whilst she puts clothes on as the bathroom is "too damp". I hear her slipping the towel down, then putting on underwear. She is now happy to walk around, and treats me naturally. I have by now finished the job, and her computer is working, so I get up to go outside and give her some privacy.
No can do, as she grabs my hand and forces me to dance with her. By now I am entirely aware of my building lust, and how much I want to ravage this vision of beauty. But I have a girlfriend, and I don't want to upset her, so I don't make the first move, even as she grinds her pantied crotch against my leg (she was into dance music, and I believed that such a move was perfectly normal at the time).
Nothing happened in the next half hour that I was there. She didn't put any clothes on, but neither did I take them off for her. I heard a year or so later from her best friend that she'd wanted me to take her V-plates, and still does. Which is nice.
I still have a girlfriend, and it's not going to happen, and I know that when I'm fifty I'll still regret not shagging that vision of utter perfection.
No apologies for length, although she'd have been wanting one.
( Dave the Mighty, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 9:04, Reply)

Bit boring and serious but,
Some things you can't go back and change, those that you can change in the present, do so.

For example I'm thirty three years old, and I started learning to play guitar this week. It's something that's always bugged the shit out of me not doing, and if I had passed up a golden opportunity to buy a good second hand axe, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.

Although there was one time a dirty one night stand wanted me to do her up the ronson and I stupidly declined. Still, got my brown wings a few years later anyway. :D

Sry, let the frivolities recommence.
(Pandaemonium, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 9:00, Reply)

Stupid Subtle Mates
In my first year of university, I had a mate called Dave the Cat. He was your typical student: reads NME, anti-war, and eats everything. His first question to me was "What sort of music do you like?". I was - and still am - a huge Oasis fan (don't judge).

Three weeks later he rings me up and said "Do you want to see the Stands? £6. They've got a special...."

I cut him off, saying no. He was always asking me to watch gigs, usually bands I've never heard of, usually named "The __________"

For those of you who know, The Stands pulled Oasis out of the shit when they supported them on a world tour in early 2002. As a thank you, Noel Gallagher said "I'll play a few acoustic sets in your gigs to support you when you go on tour."

60 people turned up that night. I wasn't one of them.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 8:29, Reply)

Locking the door, trusting my brother, having green bollocks
Many years ago when I was a randy teenager avec cherry I was given the perfect opportunity to ditch my V plates - my parents had decided to go on holiday for the first ever time without me and my older brother and so I invited the then girlfriend round.

I was going out with a lovely young lady at the time who was very open, forward, fit and most importantly, filth. After many years of waiting and er, performing solo I was going to get some. Just as long as my brother pissed off and left for the night.

I convinced my big brother to politely fuck off for the evening and leave me and the missus alone. I reckon 5 minutes would have probably done but he agreed to leave for the night - too willingly looking back now.

As soon as he left the house I began getting ready, tidying the house and relieving the pressure with a quick ménage a une when my brother and 3 of his friends burst into my room, pinned me to my bed and proceed to cover my crotch with 3 bottles of green food dye (one would have done, really) and then ran off out the house into my brothers car leaving me with Grotbags' thumb hanging out my pants.

My girlfriend was due round any minute and as this was pre-mobile era, there was nothing I could do to stop her coming round. Being a man, British and proud I did the brave thing and cried like a little girl til the missus came round, hid Orville’s wing tip, dried my eyes and let her in.

She only wanted one thing and pestered me all night but I was too embarrassed to let her know what had happened and instead told her things were moving too fast (smooth) and that we should take our time.

Two days later I was dumped for being a frigid twat. It was a good few months before mini hulk looked more like Dr. Banner again and three years before I finally got some. From green cock to blue balls.

My final regrets are firtly not noticing the flash that went off in the background when my brother and his friends jumped me and secondly taking my camera to the local snappy snaps a few months later to proces what I thought was innocent holiday photos rather than posting the film....
(Let's all have an asbo, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 8:25, Reply)

Neigh...
I still regret missing out on that job with the blacksmith.
He asked me did I ever shoe a horse and all I could say was, "No, but I told a donkey to fuck off once..."

Sorry about the radius but the tablets are kicking in
(out of his league, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 7:26, Reply)

Actually
Just like everyone else, I wish I'd dumped that bitch hard. Like, really hard. Broken her ribs or something. Dirty little whore.
(Alexxx It wasn't me, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 6:47, Reply)

Ah well...
There's a lot I could write, but to be honest I've never really regretted much since the night my pill-addled senses were over-ridden by the lead singer of The Butthole Surfers screaming:
"Here's the thing about regrets son, it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't"
Even later when the sky had changed colour back to blue and the antlers on everyone around me had disappeared, it still sounded like good advice.
( difficultchild, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 5:01, Reply)

this QOTW is going to boost sales of prozac quite well methinks
not doing any work for my higher exams.

not going on holiday to finland.

not running away when the polis appeared in our campsite.

not going out with an amazing girl because i held our friendship quite dearly, then a few months later she got a boyfriend and i've not seen her since (5years).
(i am blip don't trust bono; he's a wank, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 4:58, Reply)

Not banging
Several girls due to a long distance ridiculous idealistic relationship I had selfishly put myself in.

Not going out with Natalie that night.

Staying too late at Natalie's place to mooch weed from her roommates and sketching the one guy out

Most of it involves girls.
(JJ Money, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 4:06, Reply)

Nigeria
I too was victim to the stroke of misfortune allowing me to refuse the offer of £30,000,000 from the Nigerian Ambassador. To this day I mourn. I mourn and mourn.
(Alexxx It wasn't me, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 3:56, Reply)

Glasnost
I'd just moved to the US from good old Stamford, Lincs. Went back home for a Crimbly vacation and was going to meet up for a new years eve party with a lot of old college friends. - very excited!!

While back at home I get a phone call from another ex-pat who'd just scored a couple of train tickets to Berlin for NY eve, a place to stay, and, apparently, some scorching german girls who were up for it. I, sadly, turned it down for my previously planned extravaganza that was going on just outside Plymouth.

So -now its New Years eve.... I'm sitting - single - in a living room listening to all my (now astoundingly boring and married) mates in couples discussing CURTAINS - at midnight...

My mate in Germany managed to time it to perfection and was :
DANCING ON THE BERLIN WALL AS IT WAS BEING DISMANTLED BY A LOAD OF CRAZY KRAUTS/RUSSIANS WITH SLEDGEHAMMERS.

He was also shagging BOTH german girls.

(Remember my curtains? - yeah... great... so do I...)

The only tiny salvation - he fell off and twisted his ankle.

Although even that had a bitter taste - while it may have slowed his dancing slightly, it elicited endless amounts of sympathy from Helga and Karla.
( gp_guineapig, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 3:55, Reply)

Stoopid
Way out of my league, a super fine Portuguese lady - we meet in a dodgy Manchester club, she takes me home...
Next morning - even more surprising - she wants to see me again.
Unfortunately, I'm too spineless to end a dying relationship and let the opportunity go...

Renee Morrissey (for that was her name) - I'm sorry. I was a fool to let you go.
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 2:43, Reply)

Uni
My one and only regret is that I never got to experience the uni lifestyle. I'm doing a degree but I commute from home and simply drive there every day. I know it's totally impractical and a waste of money for me to do it but I really wish I cudda lived in dorms.


Luckily this is where my nightmare ends as my girlfriend is living at uni (in a house, not dorms) so I get to visit her nearly every week for 4 days or so and live it that way without any of the debt. Even better I'm joining the navy in about a year so I get to experience pretty much uni life and get paid for it.

I've tried to live my life with no regrets and I think anyone that is happy with themselves truly has no regrets. It's the things we do and the things that happen that make us who we are, I don't regret anything in my life because I like who I am today and I owe it to all my fuckups in the past :D


at least i can say mine is bigger than most on this page
(grey.squirrel, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 2:23, Reply)

Kurt
Not seeing Nirvana at the Palace in the early '90s. Well, I didn't know Kurt was going to eat a bullet sandwich...
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 1:33, Reply)

Giving up while I was ahead
knowing my place, keeping my mouth shut... the usual kind of thing.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 1:19, Reply)

i...
regret not taking the post as ambassador to nigeria!










no apologies, you should fucking apologise for not being deep enough you cunting shite
(bacneman, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 1:11, Reply)

Watching
Episode I


A little piece of me died that day, Jar Jar you shit.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Fri 6 Oct 2006, 1:02, Reply)

Only the one.
Not pushing the knife deeper into my wrists.
(Dingo21 killing hippos on, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 0:27, Reply)

if only
I could of wanked in the white house...AAAAAAARGH
why didn't I?
(isketchmaster, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 0:24, Reply)

Regrets?
I regret never replying to an email I got from the ex Ambassador to Nigeria...

Scrub that... I regret not posting m story before darthbaz
( weekendsession, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 23:16, Reply)

Regrets.............
I regret never replying to an email I got from the ex Ambassador to Nigeria...apparently it went tits up for his boss and he needs to transfer £30 million to a UK bank account.. I should have agreed.
(darthbaz, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 23:08, Reply)

Keeping those cats we got a few weeks ago inside for longer.
Even if it meant cleaning up more cat crap.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 23:07, Reply)

An Ode to Timmy

I used to have a pet tortoise as a child, Timmy. We used to keep him in the back garden. He wasn't the quickest of creatures as you can imagine so he didn't take much looking after. Now, our garage is right outside the back garden gate and as my dad's a keen gardener he was always in and out the garage so the back garden gate was usually always open.

My mother used to always joke, "QUICK, SHUT THE GATE OR TIMMY WILL ESCAPE", of course we could've given Timmy a 3 month headstart to runaway and he still wouldn't of gotten too far. One morning though I awoke and went out to feed Timmy some lettuce leaves. I looked around, I couldn't see him. The back gate was swinging back and forth in the wind, then I looked all round the garden, including looking in the neighbours gardens, but still couldn't find him.

My father said he would drive up the top of the street to see if he could see any signs of him. To this day, I know my father regrets not shutting that gate.....regrets not having a thorough search.....but most of all regrets not checking his wing mirrors before reversing out the garage...CRUNCH.

To this day I remember my dad breaking the news to me.
"Well son, I've got some good news and bad news".
"Ooooo" pipes up I, "What's the good news?".
"Well, I've found Timmy".
"And the bad news Daddy?".
"Ermmmm....I've found Timmy".

I hated my father for weeks after it I totally despised him, and I even wrote a poem for Timmy which I read out at his funeral. I wore my best scowling expression, and emphasised the main words just to make my dad feel worse.

Timmy Timmy I love you
I remember your eyes so blue
Oh Timmy where are you
I'm right here, in the middle of the road you speccy ignoramus bastard, can't you see me you short sighted cunt, get out your car and look, no don't reverse...ARGGHHHH

And with that Timmy was given an official ceramonius flush down the toilet.

Apologies for length Timmy, at 2 years it should've been much more longer if it wasn't for dopey dad
(Lt Columbo, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:45, Reply)

Julie
Over 10 years ago - Still feel the pain - Still shouldn't have chased her - Still should have known better.

I can't go into it - too much pain.

**Shakes head**
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:30, Reply)

Besides the usual
I think perhaps gaining a clue with money is something I regret not doing.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:21, Reply)