2 little boys
Long Ears passed, Walking so fast.
(bobnoxious, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 18:51, Reply)

Sham 69
C'mon, C'mon, Hurry up Hairy Camel
(bobnoxious, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 18:48, Reply)

Spiderman
"Spiderman, Spiderman,
rapes whatever man he can,
with a sock, on his cock,
Lookout, here comes the Spiderman"
(Zoinkid, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 18:46, Reply)

the wrong words
sorry to lower the tone with football chants, but a recent Aberdeen one was:

My old man, said be a Celtic fan
I said fuck, shite, bollocks
You're a cunt ...

and we still lost 0-1

(apols, first post)
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 18:43, Reply)

bollocks
cunt
(Amorous Anonymous im on the interweb >>> reiterated.co.uk, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 18:19, Reply)

The Cranberries - Zombie
Another mothers tired head lies on a pillow
When the blanket cause such warmth then it must be electric
But you see
It`s not me
It`s not my cup of tea
On your bed on your bed theres a duvet
With your sheets and your blankets and your quilts and your sheets
On your bed on your bed theres a duvet
What`s on your bed on your bed
Duvet Duvet Duvet hey hey hey


That`s enough of that now
(Smumps, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 17:48, Reply)

I hate this fucking question
Fucking tards the lot of you. Learn the lyrics.
( Snollock Biffer I don't really sniff Bollocks, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 17:45, Reply)

i still feel kinda odd...
... when i sing along to no doubt's "just a girl", as i am a guy. still a great song.
( bierbelly, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 17:25, Reply)

The Jam
Eating Trifles
Eating Trifles

i'm sure you know what song it is...
(EvilDeathSandwich Woof, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 17:24, Reply)

Another 3Kings one
We 3 Kings of orient are
Selling knickers, tupence a pair
They're fantastic, no elastic
Falling down everywhere

Oh Star of Yonder, Star of light
Charlie caught his pants alight
Hit the ceiling, what a feeling
Bought another pair that night.

Childhood memories, shit in hindsight eh?
( -:Coop:-, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 17:22, Reply)

Favourite things be Dame Julie Andrews
many rip offs of this but i like this one:

'to be sung to the sound of music classic - favourite things'

Bright copper dildos and balck leather whippers
ramming cuecumbers up mermaids with flippers
kicking the goat in the cunt when its farting
these are a few of my favourite things


when my knobs sore and blistered
and feeling kinda sad
I give it a rub with some soft margarine
then i dont feel so baaa-ad

eight more versus - cant be arsed to type it all......
(fishy, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 17:17, Reply)

Not so much a lyric..
...but as a good church going child I always thought that god was called Peter. As in Thanks Peter (be to) God. Bloody catholic girl..
(Rachel B, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 17:09, Reply)

Rainbow
We used to sing the following to the Rainbow theme tune when we were kids to the utter disgust of my mother:

Up above the streets and houses Bungle flying high,
Opened up his hairy legs and crapped in Zippy's eye.
(Loving Vixen, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:57, Reply)

18-30
whilst on holiday in corfu (yes, yes kavos) we were floating blissfully on lilos, relaxing in the hot sun, feeling the stress of A-Levels drain away into the sparkling sea.

when the 18-30 "pleasure boat" nearly capsized us, with the DJ singing loudly to the tune of "i'm a believer":

so she sat on my face
and i tried to relieve her
but she stank of plaice
with a tampon up her beaver

he sang it every night at every bar we went to.

tosser. like anyone would have put their beaver near his acne festooned face, plaice-infested or not...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:56, Reply)

More Kings of Orient
As sung at school in the days before swearwords

We three Kings of Orient are
Selling Knickers tuppence a pair
Their fantastic
No elastic
Buy your granny a pair


But why on earth would you want to buy your granny elasticless knickers? It was a sense of sickness we had in advance of young tender years...
( ReReformed, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:51, Reply)

we used to do
'I'm a believer' by the monkees or vic reeves etc as

And then i came in her face!
Now i'm a believer
Not a trace...
Of spunk in her hair

But then we were always a bit backwards round these parts.
(well its not going to suck itself yadda yadda yadda, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:39, Reply)

Oh Shit
My friend Michelle's mum thought these were the lyrics to the Salt'N'Pepa single "Push It"
(tree hugger putting the "semen" in "basement"..., Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:37, Reply)

Oh Carolina, your brother
Jump on prawns

Oh Carolina, your brother

Jump on prawns

Oh Carolina, your brother

Can your feet jump on prawns?
( MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:12, Reply)

Hallelujah!
A university mate of mine spent years under the mistaken belief that "It's Raining Men - Hallelujah!" was "It's a rainy day - Hallelujah!".
As a result he was sometimes seen in clubs around Great Yarmouth dancing vigorously to this song.

As he remarked, crestfallen, when we explained those weren't the words: "Half of Yarmouth think I'm an idiot, the other half think I'm gay".
(fogbat, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:04, Reply)

Roger Gore
My brother`s friend since school is called Roger Gore and my brother changes song lyrics at every oppourtunity to include his name a favorate I remember as a kid was Blondies French kissing in the USA being french kissing with Reggie Goreeeeeee.
The poor guy has put up with this for nearly 30yrs heaven knows why he still talks to me bruv!!!
(Smumps, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:04, Reply)

"Now Andy Did You Hear About This One, Tell Me How You Got Locked In The Pond..."
In that beautifully annoying non-religion specific charity crapness that is "Do They Know It's Christmas" my sister believed the chorus was not "Feed the world" but merely "Jeeesus... WHOOOAAAAA!"

Beautiful.

My brother mutilated "Stand and Deliver" to become "Staaaaand on the villa! (ohwoaheewoaheewhoa) Your money or your life!"

Others include

"Rhythm is a dancer, it's a source of passion"

"I'm a creep, I'm a winner"

"You wanna shag violently ahaaah.." ("You wore a shirt, of violent green" - REM-"W.T.F.Kenneth?")

"Calling jamaicaaa" (also REM.. Sidewinder)

from Ghetto Superstar:

"We can lie in each other's ovens"

and finally worth mentioning is a site on the net that lists Tenacious D's "Tribute" as containing the lyric

"Whipcrack with your swampy tail, and the beast was done"

Astounding.

Someone else can apologise for length.. I'm too busy... err.. eating pork scratchings.

EDIT: McMad... MINDPISS. (It's actually "call me when you try and wake her btw) I knew this, my friend John was adamant that it was Jamaica.
( MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:03, Reply)

Mad McMad, you are not alone
I always thought it was “Only Tazmania”. Found out I was wrong when, singing along aged 10, my 11 year old mate took me aside and discreetly explained my faux pas. Each time I hear that song I feel the irrational face-burning embarrassment I felt that day. Still sing my version though.
(Scoobs, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:01, Reply)

Kings of Orient
I just checked all the posts and I can't believe this has only be posted once; but dickytut has missed out on the crucial chorus.

We Three Kings of Orient are,
One in a taxi, one in a car,
One on a scooter, beeping his hooter,
Smoking a Hamlet cigar.

Oh Star of Yonder, Star of light,
Sit on a box of dynamite,
Light the fuse and off we go,
All the way to Mexico.

I defy anyone who at some point in their childhood did not sing this or some variation of.
(Roy Horn, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:01, Reply)

My Uncle is a Viking
Tis an old family ditty:

My Uncle is a Viking,
He kills old monks and stuff.
He'll invade your country and
He'll cut yer bollocks orf.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 16:00, Reply)

James Brown
Think its by gang of four or the tom tom club cant remember properly any way it`s caled James Brown and convinced my friend Dave Brown they were singing Daaaaaaaaaave Broooooown Daaaaave Broooown as everyone he knew sung over the song he could never hear the real words anyway!!
(Smumps, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 15:57, Reply)

Here's mine
An old schoolfriend, instead of “We’re having big fun” was heard to sing “We’re having meatballs”

My ex’s father used to sing along to Ace of Base’s “All That She Wants” as Ohhhh Matchima” WTF??!!! What is a Matchima?!!

My brother used to sing along to our school hymn “Immaculate Mary” as “We vacuum St Mary’s”

An ex colleague used to sing along to Madonna’s “Beautiful Stranger” as “Beautiful Badger”

My Dad thinks Ronan Keating is singing “The smile on your fish, lets me know that you need me”

I used to think the Eurythmics song was “Sweet dreams are made of the years”

I also used to think REM (Sidewinder) were singing “Calling Jamaica, calling Jamaica” but then realised that was wrong and thought it was “Come on little child wake up” – still wrong!! (Surely I am not alone in this?)

But my favourite changed-words was when my boyfriend and I were in a gondola in Venice. The gondolier pointed out Doges’ Palace to us and my boyfriend immediately sang at the top of his voice “WHO LET THE DOGES OUT”
(Mad McMad, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 15:41, Reply)

Feliz Navidad
A fried of mine from Chile was singing "Feliz Navidad" a little while ago. She learned it when she was young and didn't know English. So she knew the spanish words just fine, but when she got to the English lyrics, she started singing "I wanna wishy a-wesh-a-wesha..."

I had to teach her the correct lyrics. I couldn't laugh at her, though, as I was concerned with scoring that night.

Also, my former band played "Lively Up Yourself" and the bassist always sang "Liven up yourself," even though every time we practiced it we told him he was singing the wrong word. He also had a bit of a drinking problem.
(joe stoner dot com, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 15:37, Reply)

lardyboy
i think it's

"we're giving love and the family dose".

yours is better.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 15:29, Reply)