I was 16
and the girl was a 24 year old model. I was soooooo moleste that she had to lie on the other side of the room and had aircraft lights going towards her

Entirely True

(apologies for lack of info, but g/f's mother is sat behind me watching Charmed and no matter what, i know the phrase "he was writing about the first girl he shagged" would get back and not sound well.
(sadsack, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 11:49, Reply)

I was 16 if i remember correctly (of cause i fucking remember)
It was one of those surreal nights where you don't exactly know what or why it happened.
I was in the South of France with my family, surfing for two weeks solid when on the second to last night we had a BBQ with some families that were camping nearby. With them was this incredebly hot surf girl that I obviously had no chance with in the slightest.
After an hour of sitting around doing nothing, I suggested we go to the bar. The next thing I know im on the beach thanking god for everything up to this point.
The best part however was when her family thanked me for taking her out and took me kyacking with them. I have never had to suppress a grin quite so much as then. The only person that had a clue was my dad, who noticed I'd lost my shoes. He gave me a handshake.
( Spam Filter Formerly known as Superdude, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 11:46, Reply)

We were 16 and in love...
After a few weeks of 'going down' we decided it was time for me to storm the gates of her love palace with my red hot battering ram...

cue 10 steamy minutes in the back of my car after which i called her 'an angel' and 'sweaty as a pig' in the same gasp.. must have been good

went out with her for another 3 years and to this day she's the best shag i've ever had (although i love my current missus very much, there's more to life than just sex! (theres booze and tv!))
(trickstar, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 11:06, Reply)

Nobody will ever believe me but...
My experience was fun and relaxed and left no mental scars. The only problem was that the condom didn't fit very well. They were the standard durex extra safe kind and simply too tight and tricky to put on.
I ain't bragging here: there's nothing special about me but until I switched to the slightly larger Comfort range I was halfway there before I was halfway in! Did give me terrible anxiety for a bit to which the g/f was ver supportive and said it didn't matter etc. Of course she was lying otherwise she wouldn't have been so happy when I switched products.

I've just realised that this is going to sit at the bottom of my profile for fucking ages...
(Rich Chestmat, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 10:55, Reply)

Mentally scarring...
Dunno if it counts, bein a gay and all, but sometime last year, my newly acquired gf came over. We proceeded to get quite drunk and she dragged me off to bed about 2am because she was 'tired'.

She jumped me. All was well, and soon there was much moaning and screaming of names. And forgetting my mother was in the next room.

The phone rang. Ignored it, then saw who was ringing. My mother screamed down the line 'WILL YOU TWO KEEP THE FUCKING NOISE DOWN!?'. Gf started laughing, I got up to turn the music off as well, wrapped in a duvet, still pissed caught my foot on it, ripped it off and rolled stark naked across my desk and onto the floor.

A year on, and we're still together.
(sporky, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 10:55, Reply)

too young?
i was about 13 and i lived in america at the time (now ive been moved by teh gov't) and i was harmlessly wandering the streets when a big limo pulled up to me and a strange pale white man with a rubber nose callled jack michaelson took me away to neverneverland and had his way with me. my mommy is now sueing him.
(Stalkin Bambi, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 10:45, Reply)

Mine was a little...interesting to say the least
I was a late starter, night of my 20th birthday in fact. Had staggered home from Uni nightclub after yet another particularly unsucessful attempt at talking to women. Got home watching TV in bed and there's a knock on the door, it's my housemate and his girlfriend come to see what I was up to. He sits down on the comfy chair, she sits on end of bed. She complains of being cold, so like the perfect (drunken) gentleman that I am, offer to share the quilt with her. Mate goes for a piss and she's all over me like a rash. he comes back in the bedroom, she carries on. My mates response? "Happy Birthday, mate!"

Turns out she always wanted a threesome and this was the perfect opportunity. Result!!! Shame that the demon drink kicked in half way through and I lost the ability to perform quite spectacularly.
(Freakish, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 10:07, Reply)

dull
this has got to be the dullest question ever, because basicly evryones lost thiers to..sex.

Being b3ta theres a lot of drunken sex, but still someone come up with something so far out it blows your tiny mind leaving you with WTF?! howw is that..HUMAN! running through your melted brain.

plz
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 9:24, Reply)

making Jeremy Clarkson proud
I was 14 or so & had a massive crush on a 17 year old girl called Maureen Byres (ouch) ... never the less in my minds eye I had convinced myself that she was Sheena Easton incarnate ..... Pony Club camp at my aunts farm in deepest darkest Ayrshire & the inevitable fumbling ensued in the back seat of a discarded Citröen Godess. Being of farming stock (& bear in mind this is close on 25 years ago), I performed marvellously, my dreams come true etc ... Steve Coogan "back of the net !!!" I was in love ... cue dreamy music etc ... turned out she did it for a bet with my brother (bastard) & she fucked off to Dumfries shortly after ..... snifff
(The Illywhacker, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 9:20, Reply)

A lifetime of emotional damage.
I had just turned 16 when this hot girl I had been getting friendly with asks me to come over to her house while her parents are away. It was far from the best I've had, but I fell for the girl like a ton of bricks and we where on again off again for the next 3 years. She lead me into thinking that it was going to lead to much more than just b/f-g/f stuff, and when I turned 18 I got an apartment and we where plaining on moving in together then she suddenly comes out that she's going to go marry another guy in the next state that her parents have aranged for her. I told her to fuck off, and I didn't see her for another 2 years. I finialy ran into her again at a resterant in town where she was waitressing, and turned out that she shacked up with the guy for 2 months then called it quits. The worse part is that while I was talking to her I was shaking like a leaf, and when I left I ended up driving off into an empty lot and literaly falling out of my car and throwing up. It's one of those things where I can't have anything to do with her unless I'm the one with her. To this day I can't get into any serious relationship, and it's all become meaningless. Love is a fucking crock of bullshit, and it's all a lie.





P.S. If there are any single ladies interested in a 22/m/Kentucky then drop me a line.
(Mynd, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 5:59, Reply)

hmmmmmm
i was 13, the guy 14. and at the time we were horny as all hell, and my mum was home so we went to the nearest public toilet..... it was discusting. it didnt hurt at all. but i regret doing it with this guy, i broke it off with him bout 4 months later and he has been such an ass about it, havent spoken since. (2-3 years)
(faked, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 5:38, Reply)

Beware Mr Floppy
I was a late starter compared to most of you lot, 19 in the second year of uni and she was a 21 year old exchange student from Kansas.

I’d lied about being experienced and was a little shocked when I got her pants off and realised this was it. Did a bit of foreplay, got out a condom, started to roll it on and suddenly turned into linguine. Went down on her to cover up (thank you Cynthia Heimel’s ‘Sex tips for girls’) but eventually has to admit that there was nothing going on downstairs.

I came out with the immortal line of “Look, that thing we were about to do, well I’ve never done it before.” Then spent five minutes shouting at myself, calling my cock an “ungrateful bastard”.

Surprisingly she didn’t call the police but after 30 minutes extended massage I was ready for action. Then the only problem was finding where to put it.

Eventually she got tired of inexpert probing, grabbed it and shoved it in. To this day a woman doing that to me is a massive turn on. Cue about a minute of thrusting and finally losing the dreaded virginity.

She was such a good sport about it we ended up going out for three years and I nearly married her, before realising that I didn’t want to sleep with just one person for the rest of my life.
(paxvobiscum, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 5:26, Reply)

Want to know the saddest story yet?
I'm 22 next week and I've not lost mine yet. So nyer to the lot of you.

*bitter and twisted in old age*
(MrBeansHoliday, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 4:28, Reply)

Mine was at the beach.
Not a lot to tell about it, other than that I didn't have the faintest idea what I was doing and was consequently pretty lousy. I know her name was Randy (somehow wildly appropriate, that) and she was blonde and short, but past that I have no idea- it was 3am and I couldn't see her face hardly at all. I had just met her around a campfire along the beach.

The two funny things about it:

1) while we were in mid-stroke there was a stereo blasting away from somewhere near and they were playing Pink Floyd "Run Like Hell". The line "cause if they catch you in the back seat trying to pick her locks they're gonna send you back to mother in a cardboard box" still makes me think of that moment.

2) As I mentioned, it was 3am and I was a teenager out on the beach. My parents woke about 1am and decided to go looking for me. They found me about the time I was returning home. To this day they don't really know what I was doing out there that late. Not sure I want to tell them, even now. But my mom has told that story to everyone from my current girlfriend to my kids. Maybe if I told her she would shut up about it.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 4 Mar 2005, 3:21, Reply)

17 years old
With a boyfriend who not only turned out to be gayer than the love child of Graham Norton and Dale Winton (although to this day refuses to admit it), but also couldnt come unless he 'finished himself off'. Three year relationship and him going on about marrying me put aside any thoughts that it may be my fault, but still it continued.

Anyway first time we had sex - and I had to nag and badger him for it for months (is that normal in a 19 year old guy?) - and i finally convince him to get down to it. He had just done his first thrust before his sister burst through the door. He jumped out of the way and it took even longer to convince him to do it again!

Disappointed is not a strong enough word. Plus he was microscopic.

Anyway lad after him was good, and my current boyfriend is absolutly fantastic! Woo!
(Mogg Questioned her own sanity on, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 3:19, Reply)

At uni, rather unoriginally...
Early 90's. A classic 'don't shit on your own doorstop' morality tale. It was the last week before end of first year exams, hormones over-ran myself and one my flat-mates who'd fancied each other for pretty much the whole year, but both done a very good job of hiding it up until that point.

I don't know quite what went wrong, but it turned out to be the least sexual moment of my life, and the girl involved tried to commit suicide the next day so I don't think she enjoyed it either. Anyway, after a few weeks of getting stoned and drinking vodka in lieu of eating and sleeping I mysteriously failed my course and dropped out of uni.


Sorry to be so morbid. The whole experience gave me the strength to help my current partner through some tough times though so it's not all bad - turns out to be one of those 'everything happens for a reason' tales too.
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 3:18, Reply)

OH I CAN ANSWER THIS QUESTION!!!!!
I was seeing a girl, wasn't that serious, obviously, because we were still friends when we split up (she never did anything interesting, yet she found me boring).

Anyway, 4 weeks later, I happen to be out with some friends, and bumped into her sister. I lost the friends, went back to her sisters house, and those who I've told before, and those with sense, you know how the story finishes.

Well, that's it anyway. not much



EDIT: I forgot to mention I was 19, my ex was 18, and her sister was 27. Just the fact I lost my virginity at the old age of 19 is funny in itself
( SarahRatt, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 2:55, Reply)

magic night
I was 17 and at a bar, piss drunk. I leaned over to the blurry shape in the stool next to me, vaguely resembling a woman.

"Hey you. I'm Kevin."

"I'm a customs agent."

*belch*
"Wanna do it?"

It was a magical night.
(MR KEARNS, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 2:47, Reply)

I were drunk in Dorset
And this girl took me away to an abandoned caravan and jumped on me. Never even caught her name, might have been Sally or something. The next day she went home to Swindon and I never saw her again.
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 2:16, Reply)

16 years ago...when I had more sex in a week than I now do in a year (bloody marriage).
After minimal coercion, my first serious girlfriend (at barely 16 whilst I was 17), and I attempted mutual virginal coitius.

We were plenty ready for it, empty house, passion overflowing...We move into the ready position, fumble around then SCORE!

Unfortunately, not being aware of such things as hymens, female self-lubrication or self-restrain, my modestly sized organ *cough* reached maximum penetration within microseconds.

Cue two screams...mine, muted, with OMGness, her's with "This fuckwit is ripping me a new one!!!".

Suffice it to say, my enjoyment was severely curtailed once I realised what had happened. But practise (several times daily) soon revealed the vast pleasures teenage hornbags can have.

Sadly experimentation in other orifices lead to a similar result. Ooops!!!

Word to the undersized...most smaller women don't like them bigger. All my partners have expressed a need to chop an inch off :(

Apologies for length *to the short girls*
(Rubberband_in_Oz, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 1:32, Reply)

I lost my virginity to your mum, in your bed.

She loved the girth and length.

/Me gets coat and goes to fuck your mum again
(loopadoop loves toilets, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 0:55, Reply)

Never use 'super clean condoms'!
I made that mistake on my first time.

17 years old feeling that when I did do it I would use protection so always carried a condom with me in case.
So, 21 year old French girl and I start getting friendly so out comes trusted safety tool. On it goes and the business is under way (not the best but has to be a first time!).

Next morning wake up with irritated bell end so off to the docter in the local village to see whats up. Usual questions, did you use protection? yes blah blah blah.
Dr: Something must have been on the condom which has caused irritation, apply cream 3 times a day and should clear up. This got me thinking and at this point realised my mistake!

Condom had lived in jeans pocket for sometime and at some point had been through the washing machine once or twice. Sudden realisation that probably not the best idea as packet must have slighlty torn resulting in losing my cherry with washing powder being rubbed into my sensitive organ!

All cleared up after about a week, never will forget the shame of going to the docter after first time and having to show my red swollen member. Thankfully never made the same mistake again, LET THIS MESSAGE BE A WARNING TO ANYONE AS STUPID!!
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 0:50, Reply)

I was 16
Just came back from my first Reading Festival, to which she did not attend. Had not had any form of sexual encounter for about 4 days, which was a long time at the time (god I miss the days when I could say something like that). Was quite sweet and romantic actually, at least more so than a hell of a lot of people. But what ensued was not good. Johnny broke. She took morning after pill. Second time johnny broke. Only a couple days later, so she couldn't take it again for some reason so we were all scared that she was pregnant, which she wasn't. The next week we went mad and she ended up contracting the "honeymoon disease" cystytis (spelling?)
( Styxx hates when people talk in the third person, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 0:31, Reply)

boring really
11th september 2000 (is it sad that i remember the date?!) I was 16 he was 17. His parents were out, we fumbled for a while, and the final deed lasted about two minutes and hurt. Muchly. We both sat and did our homework afterwards, so weirded out we'd finally done it that we didn't really know what to say to each other! I started 6th form the next day and just walked round feeling so achingly grown up.
He dumped me about a month afterwards because he 'just didn't fancy me anymore'. But he is now fat with long curly hair, so I was never really that cut up about it.

Also, just now, posting virginity finally lost!
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 0:00, Reply)

a naughty nanny. Just like the one in fat Bottomed Girls
except she was a nanny for kids and I was a student in London at the time.

Well.... she came roiund to my hovel, I decided to play responsible and don a sou'wester. It was the instant off-switch for my swelling pride. I took it off, the swell came back, I put on another preventative, it wilted.

Eventually I decided that penetration was a dead loss but I had always liked the thought of going down on a lady, so I practised.

And tried and tried and carried on trying until she was happy.

5/10 for effort, anyway. But then again I have now been divorced from her for 6 years so it wasn't a complete fairytale match. Pfffff.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 3 Mar 2005, 23:57, Reply)

It was a party round at her place
...And she put on her favourite album. It was Pulp. Tragically we ended up doing it to "Do You Remember The First Time?"
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 23:53, Reply)

gross
just dawned on me that my first two sexual encounters were shortly after i puked due to over-indulgence of alcohol. classy chick

ha ha if only they knew
(evil_beetle, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 23:46, Reply)

Older woman
I was 20.
She was 38.
Cue one crash course in what women want. Steep learning curve but it was worth it. Ended up with the potency of a 21 year old and the knowledge of a 30 year old.
(lolwhites, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 23:27, Reply)