this is a lame one
whilst i think of something major.

but.

i reeeeally want to go to the theatre and have one of the fancy boxes at the side. even if i manage to get the very best seats, with a better view, on the front row of the circle, i am still eaten up with bitter jealousy of the boxes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 22:38, 9 replies)

I wrote meself a list when I was about 16
I don't have the best memory if it, but being a teenager still, it involved a lot of sex, drugs and rock n roll type wishes, I shall try and recant it here:



See the world (backpack and hitchhike around Europe) places to deffo see: Venice, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, things to do: immerse oneself in a foreign culture/foods and learn to speak a foreign language.

Do the full range of exotic sexual experiences (I've basically distilled half the list to this slightly less specific version).

Do the full range of recreational drug experiences at least once (likewise).

Probably combine the two.

If I like it do it a lot.

Love and be loved at least once.

Perform in a band and make an album, have sex with a groupy.

Appear on TV.

Get in the newspapers.

Fuck someone rich and famous at least once, and be a trophy husband at least for a while.

Never work in an office.

There's probably a couple more I've forgotten but I'll add 'em if I remember.



I managed all the above by 30. In retrospect I maybe shudda spanned it out a bit longer.

Now what?
( ..wil, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 21:49, 9 replies)

My calling
Three weeks ago I started as a PhD student at Cambridge University researching the causes of Alzheimer's disease (and other related neurodegenerative diseases such as Parkinson's, Huntingdon's, vCJD). I LOVE it and am the happiest I have ever been. The best bit? One day I may make a real, solid difference in someone's life. One day someone may be told they have early onset Alzhiemer's and instead of it being a long slow death sentence, even worse for those who love them who have to slowly watch them fade away, they may instead be told "Here's some tablets, take one a day for the next week and you'll be fine". I could be a tiny, tiny part of that possibilty.

Things to do before you die? Use what you're best at to make the biggest difference you can to whoever you can, no matter how small or unimportant it may seem. Then your life will have been worthwhile.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 21:23, 7 replies)

I'd like to know what I want to do.
I've had a pretty good life so far, all said, but I've not really done anything. I've basically been drinking my way through the last few years of life with no real goal -- I work hard(ish) and I do very little else.
That said, I now know one thing I want to do and am working towards it -- problem being I've forgotten how to work towards anything and, once I get there, it's only half the battle.
I admire those who want something so much they can plan towards it, make the necessary sacrifices and work untill they get there.
If it weren't for a chance meeting with a girl I have come to love my only aim would be to die painlessly.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 21:08, 2 replies)

Had a good think on this evenings commute home...
• Buy a plot of land and build a timber framed, straw bale house
• Jam with Victor Wooten, Bernard Purdie and Booker T
• Exceed Joseph Kittinger's parachute jump records: 1) Highest Jump - 31,333 m (102,800 ft). 2) Longest fall - combined free fall and parachute time: 13 minutes and 45 seconds. 3) Fastest free fall speed: 988 km/h (614 mph).
• Failing the above, at least leave the Earth's atmosphere - or failing that ascend to the upper reaches
• I've climbed Mount Kinabalu on Borneo, the world's 20th highest peak by prominence and i'd love to climb the rest of the Top 20 in order.
• Learn a foreign language or two
• Enjoy at least one meaningful, long-term relationship with a member of the opposite sex
• Complete a stage of the Tour de France
• Learn to ride a motorbike and complete several full-speed laps of Donington Park on a Moto GP spec bike
• See the Northern Lights
• Get a good haircut
• Have a photo published in National Geographic (Your Shot would be nice, but doesn't really count)
• Win a fortune on the National Lottery and give most of it away
• Get a submission on the front page of Reddit
• Build a Caterham Seven
• Build kit plane
• Fuck Cheryl Cole ass to mouth (bareback)
( applehead herp derp, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 20:23, 10 replies)

things to do before i die?
as opposed to the things i'm going to do after i die?

you can say things like visit the 7 wonders of the world or something fairly ordinary that hundreds if not thousands of people do every day.

i want to do something nobody has ever done before, but heres the anti climax, i dont know what that is yet!
(suboftheday, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 20:16, Reply)

I've always thought I'd
quite like to shoot someone. I wouldn't want a guilty conscience though so it would have to be a willing victim, someone who was already wishing death on themselves - eg. doomsday cult-member, pain-racked sufferer of terminal disease etc.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 16:37, 13 replies)

Dancing on a stage with Mr Motivator whilst dressed as Bertie Bassett.
I doubt that this has ever been on anyone's wish list, but I can thoroughly recommend it.
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

33°, or at least 30°
/just over halfway there
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 16:16, 4 replies)

Shave an owl
Climb a mountain dressed as a hotdog
Grow my hair so that I no longer require clothing
Eat a deep fried tarantula
Ride a motorbike in a full on catsuit
Learn how to ride a motorbike
Buy a catsuit....
( Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 16:01, 14 replies)

No funnies
My grandfather and grandmother became estranged from our family a good few years ago. We didn't see them for about five years, until we got a phone call saying that my grandfather had died.

I went with my parents to sort everything out, and cried buckets because even though he could be a complete cunt, he was my grandfather and I never got to make my peace with him. My grandmother lasted another year, in which time I got my Nan back (albeit with fewer grey cells than before). When she died, I knew that we'd made our peace.

Don't let anyone go just for the sake of a few arguments. You can't get that time back, so don't waste it on squabbles. It's far too precious.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 15:39, 4 replies)

Run & die!
Going to the gym after work today..

Going to put in a serious attempt at running 10km on the mill.
..afterward I WILL fall off and die horribly..

I haven't done 10k since I was 18..and I turn 33 in 2 days. I'm not fit, and I'm currently craving sugary snacks.
(wankymcwankwank Eels, tobacconists, hovercraft and bouncy bouncy., Mon 18 Oct 2010, 14:01, 15 replies)

The 6 nations
For my taste in men to DRASTICALLY improve.
To get married.
To have more money than I usually do.
To deep throat all the teams in the 6 nations one after the other.
(badfox1 wonders who he's played by this episode on, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 13:35, 26 replies)

Go out
and find my doppelganger... and copulate with him/her!!
(Ymob is a kaburu, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 13:29, 7 replies)

C'est la vie
Fly first class just once
Have a flat to ourselves with more than one room
Qualify as a nurse
Get married

*sigh*
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 12:36, 7 replies)

I'd like to somehow
painlessly achieve a greater ring-circumference than Goatse.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 12:27, 6 replies)

I want to...
... High-five The Todd.
(kithkill, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:43, 5 replies)

How to win at life.
Society and built in desires to reproduce, give us all on the same "Things to do before we die" list.
We are all like pre-programmed robots, to go out there, do well at school. Get a decent job, fall in love, get married, buy a house, and have kids.
I look at people who have 'achieved' this, they are all smug and boasting, driving around in their Honda Accords and parking it on the driveway of a house they own. When speaking to them, its never "I" this, or "I" that. Its always "We". They are no longer a single entity. They no longer hang around with single people. Its always couples, or friends with like minded families. Life is no longer about them as an individual, its about their kids.

Friday nights involve watching X Factor with a chinese take-away - if the kids have been good.
Sunday might involve a kick around on the park with Mr and Mrs Jones and kids.
The rest of the week is go to work, come home, go to work, come home again.

These people are so in denial, they are so happy in their own little world and think they have won at life.

Reality check - they havnt. Infact, they lose. The reason why they dont hang around with single, unsettled people, is because they realised that with their mortgage, responsibilites, kids, and career. They have effectivly just superglued themselves to the ground. A ground that will just eventually lead them to old age, retirement homes and death. Whats worse, is that because their life is mapped out they can see it coming. There is no fog, mist, blocks or any unknown obscuring their view of the end. They are fastened in tight, and there is no getting out of it. They are jealous of the free ranger, who can go out when and where they want. They wish they had that again.

Winning at life is going against the grain, achieving something which others dont. You win if you achieve something you didnt think you was capable of doing. For example, the guy who swam the channel with no arms or legs: Winner. Mr and Mrs Jones next door with their HD TV and shiney BMW on the drive: Failure. What life experiences have these people got to talk about? "Ooh yes its got Satellite Navigation built into the console"

I feel sorry for those that end up married with kids in their 20s, because they really havnt got anything to say. They are boring people. So what I'm saying is. Just get out there and do the things you want to do before you die. Do it now. Because once youre laying out that white picket fence, You're already dead.
(Miggyman, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 10:34, 89 replies)

World Nandos Expedition
The other day I was searching for the nearest Nandos to China when I came across a deal on their website stating that anyone who visits a Nandos in every applicable country will be awarded with free Nandos for life.

So there begins the new and exciting chapter of my life. It will take me through 29 countries in 5 continents and approximately 230 pieces of extra hot peri-peri chicken, probably contributing to a glory-filled early death.
(augsav forgot about B3ta, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 6:53, 10 replies)

Make this dog's box relax so I can withdraw.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 6:51, 4 replies)

One down, one to go
My #1 item on the ever mighty wish list was fulfilled earlier this year by you lot showing your soft bits and clicking my story (http://b3ta.com/questions/beautifulmoments2/post816887) - I made it into the popular list when it closed :')

My second one I honestly can't pin down, I'll likely be driving over the east side of Australia (Bris to Mel) next year, perhaps that will be it.

That or dying my knob magenta.

[EDIT]: Add 'seeing my home planet from space for the first time' to the list too
( blitheringidiot semi-lurker status achieved, many thanks, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 2:27, Reply)

Learn to speedfly
Like this

It's not quite as far-fetched an ambition as it might be - as a result of a combination of things I could probably fly a paraglider pretty well even without taking lessons, and I can also ski to a reasonable standard. Just give it a few years...
( MatJ LOOK, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 1:46, 2 replies)

I watched an HBO special about a couple getting married.
Both had Downs Syndrome.

I want to laugh that hard again sometime in my life.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 0:51, 14 replies)

Get in a rear end collision
With Jeremy Clarkson in his GT40 while I'm driving a Range Rover. It would be worth th it.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 0:50, 8 replies)

Do that thing that is usually done by kidlets before entering university
No this isn't a story involving my wang being named kidlet and the girl being named university...

My parents did it - dad for 4 years, mum for 2 - and they drilled it into my brain that it is the best thing I could ever do. But now, being 24, I have only just gotten around to it. This was mostly to the fact that 1. I moved out of home when I was 20 as my parents weren't going to have a house pretty soon and were going to live with grandma and 2. I wanted to cement my career as something to build upon when I come back

So now the time has finally come. I'm ending a 4.5 year relationship. I'm ending a life of certainty. I'm saying farewell to all of my friends because now I have a residency visa for the UK and I'm going to work and live over there for however long I damn well please. Sure, the weather is shit, and 2 really good mates are just coming BACK from overseas, but I'm sick of living my life for other people.
(lemonadegame, Sun 17 Oct 2010, 23:55, 3 replies)

fall in love
it's been a while

I would settle for licking bourbon off Elizabeth Shue's tits but not dying in Vegas
(weaselinajetengine, Sun 17 Oct 2010, 23:41, 10 replies)

Hmmm... well...
I'd like to be able to finish one - just ONE - piece of work on time and to a reasonable standard without spending hours procrastinating on B3ta first.

Looks like it'll have to wait for another night.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Sun 17 Oct 2010, 23:41, Reply)

I sometimes think
that I'm going to wind up 70 years old, frail and not far from grimmers himself and look back on my life full of regret. What annoys me is that while I'm young now, I think I've always got plenty of time to do the things that are on the so called bucket list. But one day, before I know it it'll be too late.

I wonder what thing that I'm not going to do is the thing I most regret.

Currently the most regretful thing is either a) Not getting violent with a former cuntish employer, jumped up little shit of a man who looks and even acts like Gordon Gecko or b) Not screaming down the phone at him something along the lines of "Fuck off and die you cunt, I quit". But I guess that ain't so bad seeing as the negative effect on my career may have put me back a few years further. Looking to the future, thing's that I have reserved that I really need to do....

Learn French. Live in France for over a year. My other half has a proper French mother and I think it would be endearing to that side of the family if I made the effort. If we have a son that's any good at football he will play for France and not for the disgrace that is Scotland.

Become really successful at something I enjoy. Currently I work in Marketing, Business Development, Sales, that kind of horse shit that I regret ever getting into. I was on the phone to the clearing agency after dropping out of Computing Studies after 1 year at Uni and just off the cuff I went for BSc in Marketing. I even got a desmond tutu to confirm my lethargic disinterest.

My passion is football and music and one way of getting someway involved is through journalism. I like writing, although not the best with grammar I can surely improve. So to become a journo would be ideal, especially one that pays well. My interest in football takes me to splendid arenas, such as Celtic Park, Hampden, Old Trafford, Wembley. There's something about stadiums - designed with the specific interest of everybody getting a grand view and also generating as much atmosphere, excitement and NOISE as possible. I would love to become a football journalist.

I've become rather adept at the bass guitar and have even fronted and performed original songs in front of an audience. I really enjoyed that and it's something I need to stop leaving as an after-thought. I'd like to get a band together and give it a proper shot, although I am already resigned to failing as a genuine rock and roll act, I still think I have a number of gigs left in me.

I would like to have children and call me old fashioned but I'd like them to exceed my achievements, whatever they may be. Not in the "live the life you wanted through your child" way, but to truly help and guide them into areas they want to go. Basically the opposite of what my parents done for me.

In terms of material possessions I will one day own a Musicman Stingray 4 (very expensive, very nice Bass guitar) and an underground studio full of expensive electronic this and that. My friends can come round and we'll jam into the wee hours drinking cheap booze and having a lark.

It's happiness we're all after really, therefore to answer the question, my greatest ambition is to be the guy on his deathbed with zero regrets. Unless I get pummeled unexpectedly into oblivion by a gigantic cock, in which case I won't have time to think retrospectively about my achievements and I won't hear the length apology from the rapist once my last gasp expires.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Sun 17 Oct 2010, 23:40, 2 replies)

My boy is 20 tomorrow
and before I die I would love to see him crying, sobbing, on the sofa in front of me begging for help.
Tired beyond belief, unable to speak, eyes rolling round in sockets that have bags the size of suitcases under them.
Wondering to himself how he got in this mess.
Unsure if his life will ever be the same again.
Thinking he has made a terrible terrible mistake.
Then I can scoop up the bundle of screaming red faced crying grandchild into my arms and make it all better. Pour all my heart into something my dearest love in the world has produced, and spoil them all to death.
I fucking can't wait to be a grandma.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 17 Oct 2010, 22:39, 8 replies)