I'd love to see you front "Animal Hospital" for JMGTV.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

+ised

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

You could wrestle a bear during the end credits.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

I met a man in the pub once who said he punched a badger.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Badger is sometimes used a slang term for homosexualianists.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

I heard they can smell bum up to a kilometer away,
and you can stop them only with a firm punch to the nose or gouging their eyes, or a harpoon gun
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

I heard they can hear colours.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

Someone once told me they nurture their young in pouches on their chests

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

It's political correctness developing full blown schizophrenia.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

I saw one in the street one night
It was weaving a small ceremonial Squirrel figurine out of a hedgehog.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

homophobe

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

Homo

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

phoblerone

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

I've had a drunken debate with a vet about my ability to take on a badger.
He said it will rip me to pieces. I'll prove him wrong some day.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 19 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

My reply looks really fucking dodgy after what Dr P has put above.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 19 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

You disgust me.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

I've heard they're vicious.
This guy reckoned he'd bumped into one in his van or something, but it was only stunned, so he picked it up by the scruff of its neck, slapped it a few times, and sent it on its way. He also said he'd killed an Alsation that went for him one time. Or something.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

That sounds like
you've been to a QOTW bash.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

honey badgers are tough little bastards
www.b3ta.com/links/The_Honey_Badger
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

bastardbadger

( WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

awesome

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

Animalised Hospital?
"Hello! I'm baldmonkey and I'm here at Great Ormond Street hospital to cheer up the kiddies! I poured black paint down the sides of the building to makeit look like a tiger, complete with razor sharp teeth around the doorway and to make it really feel like we're inside a hospital-shaped tiger, I've been stapling the carcasses of buffalos all over the place. Lots of blood all over the floor looking really grrrrrreat! OI TIMMY! STOP FUCKING CRYING AND HELP UNCLE BALDERS WITH DECAPITATED BOAR!"
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

BERTIE THE BOAR

( WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

Call him whatever you want, he has no head!

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

what is my role on JMGTV these days?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Most of the work in front of the camera.
Midget wrestling.
Paint-balling the blind.
Etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

What about me jmg?

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

GMoS would require a female co-anchor.
We're VERY PC here at JMGTV.
We make it especially clear that we employ Moohalaa, a well known queer.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

Do I have a role ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

Somebody's going to have to hold the women off of GMoS.
..an anti-fluffer, if you will?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

You need the Remington fluff-away.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

I think I would fail at this
since I would interfere with the women in an inappropriate manner and bring shame upon the house of JMG.

JMG JMG JMG JMG !

DOLEing out baldness with repetition ! WOOP WOOP !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

I've spoiled MANY the dinner party with my bald antics.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

Be fair though
if you had hair, you would break free from the confines of your mums spare room and RULE THE WORLD.

Fatties would worship you as a god.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

I'd cheer up the kids with put down hamsters by flapping my 'wobble board' at them
saaaaaadly hedidn'tmakeitthroughthe niiiiiiiiight Umm Shakaa HUUNE Shakaa HUUNE Shakaa HUUNE *wabble wibble wobble* stroke it...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

HOW we don't win more International Emmys I'll never know.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Likewise.
I heard Phil Collins is a big fan.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

+ ny
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

Ha ha ha ha ha

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

Cheesy lover :S

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:33, archived)