Who would you fight to the death in an orgy of bloody rampage and guts?
I think it'd have to be Davina McCall for me. I hate that woman far too much. I'd stove her face in with the biggest thing I could find (and be able to carry).

/pent up anger and rage blog
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

I'd much rather have sex with Davina than fight her
If I was allowed to fight a woman, I'd fight Paris Fucking Hilton.

And her dog. I'd make her fucking eat the dog before I beat her to death.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

You can have her smooshed up carcass, if you want it?

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

No
let me fuck her first as some sort of "pre death treat"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Davina now
or Davina on crack, like the old days?
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

I'd be doing her doggy style
so I probably wouldnt notice.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

Depends if she's got her stash rammed up her poochute.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

More likely crotched it
More space post-kids than the rear storage compartment, you see
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

Woman hater:(

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Shall we all talk about Big Brother now ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Someone smaller and weaker than me.
Just to be on the safe side.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

I'd rather just walk away.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Poof

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

RIGHT THAT'S IT
I'LL SEE YOU OUTSIDE IN 2 MINUTES!
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Unlikely
unless you've invented some sort of teleportation device.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

ah fair enough
another time then?

To be honest my anger will probably subside, how about a pint some time.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

I'd like that
but I dont travel to meet b3tans.

I sometimes go to the Porterhouse bashes bt not much else.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

I wouldn't mind having a pint with Goaty. I imagine him to be good company.
He's a fucking cunt on here, mind.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

I'm not a cunt in real life
no one has the courage to be that much of a cunt.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

have i ever met you?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer.
Apart from that one, of course.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

I met him once
not properly though. I don't think I even said hello. I was LOLmental at the time and didn't really speak to anyone.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

Monday.
I restate my assumptions
Heaven and hell
Do not exist
Tuesday
I restate my assumptions
If you die
You do so at your own risk
Into the heart of darkness
Beyond the point of no return
Wednesday
I restate my assumptions
Beauty is not
The same thing as youth
Thursday
I restate my assumptions
Only one thing's beautiful
That's the truth.
etc
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

piers morgan

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

also, can you stove someone's face in with a pebble? ho ho ho

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

I'd have a Battle Royale with all the b3tans there are
I'd make you all line up and I'd run past you all, punching as I go
( Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

I'd dodge, trip you up, and stamp on your head.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Fallen at the first hurdle
I'm going to give up this life of violence.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

*sticks foot out and trips you up*

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Flapjack would probably hurt you.
He's a bit handy with the martial arts and that.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Note:
I am not really going to do this.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Flapjack and CHB are probably the only b3tans who can actually fight properly

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

I reckon there's a few more.
Me and Jenpots probably could.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

I'd be shit in a fight.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

What if we gave you a shinai?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

nah, I can beat people in a dojo because we're all doing kendo
if I took a stick into a street fight and played kendo rules and technique, I'd be destroyed.

I'd be tempted in a street fight if we both had wooden sticks to go straight into Jodan and keep distance then the second they step forward drop it on their head.

but I doubt it'd work.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

You really fancy your chances against 40,000 of us?
Wow.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6201240
( Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

too late now
you're going down, boy
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Ah shit
Not again
( Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Oh SADDEST of SAD FACES...
All I could think of when you wrote that, was Warhammer.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

It's in situations like this I have a sniff of a tub of ultramarine blue to regain my composure

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

My proto-jaw would snap out and you'd be running down the rest of the line spraying them from a bloodied stump.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

I'd prefer the legs akimbo street luge groin punt

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

Fern Fucking Britain
Shit she's annoying. And being between jobs at the moment I find myself watching daytime TV. Which she's all over.

Definitely one for a bloody rampage
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Get a job and stop complaining, dolescum.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Between Jobs
does not = dolescum
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

GET A FUCKING JOB, HIPPY.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

Job on it's way
haircut still hippy
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

it does when you are between jobs
for 5 fucking years!

Get a job hippy!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

claire doyle, she broke my heart when i was twelve and left me so emotionally scared that i can not form adult relationships

( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Thatcher, Winner, Girls Aloud....
Oh, and Leona FUCKING FRIGGING BASTARD ARSEWANK SHITHORN Lewis.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Winner and Thatcher deserve death
but I'd rather watch old age cripple them now. Leona Lewis, Meh.

But GIRLS ALOUD ? How can you hate that collective of loveliness ?

I would fill a bath with them and wash myself in their femininity.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

They're needlessly annoying, in my eyes.
Plus they all need a sandwich. Well, except Pigface, she doesn't. She needs a paper bag.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

i'm not sure i could even make love to sarah harding as i adore her so much, i'd just like to stroke her hair

( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

haha :)

( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

sarah if you are a /talk lurker perhaps we could meet up for a drink? no pressure, drop me a gaz
great forum
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

yeah sure no problem
I'll start shaving my back
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

could the post i made above go on the popular page incase she isn't online at the moment or has me on ignore
thanks
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

She's a screeching banshee, absolute fucking embarrassment of a woman.
Not that I wouldn't, mind.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

she is ambrosia, perfection, venus if you will
i'd buy her flowers everyday and rub her feet with cool lotion after she performs with her singing and dance troop, i'd be in heaven
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

Oh Thatcher.
Only this morning did I say to FF 'I can't wait til that old cunt dies'.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

I hope they do give her a state funeral, there'll probably be a riot.
Then those silly bastards that keep inviting her to stuff and making statues will FINALLY GET THE FRIGGING MESSAGE.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Goatworrier

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

He'd break you into little pieces.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Proxy fighting talk
this is getting serious now.............
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

I bet he's short.
My height sort of short.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

I'm six foot four

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

around?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Around what ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

Oh never mind.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

That's a lot
of girth
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

Nicholas Cage.
He's quite tall, mind, I'm not sure I could beat him up.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6197812
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

He's a fucking mong
I reckon most Hollywood stars would probably completely cruble and cry if someone actually had the temerity to hit them.

Imagine if you smudged their make up or cracked their expensive dental work ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

I don't know why, but I'd quite like to punch Ben Stiller.
Oh yeah, that's why.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

Shia LeBoeuf.
He'd get a slap.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

True that.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

Everyone in High School Musical.
They'd get a slap. With an acid covered glove.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

I'd buy a HAL suit and use it to punch them through walls and whatnot.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

Excellent plan.
Gold star.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

oh man High School Musical is FUN though

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

:(

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

Just tell him Ghost Rider was shit.
He's a massive comic nerd and it would probably make him curl into the foetal position and weep while you kicked the fuck out of the spackfaced wanker.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Apparently, when he has John Travolter's face, he can fly, but only after level 50.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

I'd probably have a bash at the krankies

in a Master Blaster arrangement
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Bobby Davro - Carol Vorderman - and a few more.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

You stay away from Carol.
You can have Rachel Riley instead, the retarded, smug, gurning idiot that she is.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

The entire female cast of hollyoaks.... all at the same time.
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

I reckon if Mongychops was checked for dirty needles first, I would 'ave 'im.
I would do a tag-team fight with me and Donkey Gums against Andy McNab and Chris Ryan.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

why would you wish to fight me?
:((((((((
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

The make-up sex would be worth it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

Chris Fucking Packham
I'd fuck him right up
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

the cunt

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Is he the one with the speech impediment?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Yesh

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

vernon kaye, the fucking ponce.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)