If you were a mutant
What would your mutant power be?

I'd be able to command bees
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

Break mirrors

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

You can do that already because you're so ugly.
Ha!
( Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

:_(

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

I only say these things because it's the only way I can express my true feeling.





:*(
( Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

ha ha, that asci face looks like Frank Ribery.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

earlier on, when i asked if i'd ever met you. it was a genuine question!
i've met lots of internet people. it may have been back in the day before i found out that you're a nice chap.
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

If it helps, I've never met you.
I've been told I should though.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

hood butter bash!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

He pawed me with his great sweaty hands when I met him :(

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

i've never met you either
come to the HBB

we'll make this dream a reality
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

Maybe, baby!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Let's gang up on him.
Like the old triumverate days.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

Yeah!

( Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

*punches otter*

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

I'm doing this for your own good.

( Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

FUCK FACE.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

FACE A DEAD DOG
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

YEAH.
THE FUCKING OTTER LIKING SHIT SACK. HE IS THE BIGGEST PRICK I EVER MET AND HIS FIANCEE IS A FUCKING SLAG AND HE LIKES THE FUCKING BEE GEES.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

I'd be able to have a pool.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

l.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

+ l



Take your time over that.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

MINTY.
TITS.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

halve a poo
lols
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

oh
i hoped it was have a Polo
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

have a pool record a decent Podcast
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

To be able to mince at the speed of sound

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

GRANTED!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

We've had this one this week.
I'd like Sylar's power of knowing how everything works just by looking at it.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

What would happen if you looked at Moongirl?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

I'd know how she works,
surely.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Wouldn't the world be so boring if you knew how everything worked?
All the mystery would be gone.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Not really.
There'd still be things you don't understand.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Mind control, or adamantium claws, or the ability to freeze stuff.
Argh, I can't decide.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

I read that as 'administration claws'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Yeah, I could ADMINISTRATE THE FUCK OUT OF SHIT.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

adamantium claws?
Wolverine's real power is rapid healing. If you just had the claws you'd get terrible scarring.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Whatever.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

quick reply

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Yes

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

semantic difference, but meh.
healing regeneration
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Yeah,
I couldn't think of the correct word (brain's fried). You're right, in the nerd sense they're different powers.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

No you wouldn't
Only if they're retractable, and she didn't say that.

or if she used them on herself....
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

powerful hearing

( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

That'd be like having to read b3ta 24 hours a day
you'd constantly be hearing people talk utter drivel.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

i thought this was just a continuation of taking the piss out of sammi, i was alluding to the fact that me being able to hear would make me a better mutant than her
do you think i've got the wrong end of the stick, if so, sorry mykey, no offence
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

I didnt know she was deaf
yes we are still taking the piss out of her.

I suspect she is now drowning kittens in her pool out of rage.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

phew, i'd hate to cause mykey or your good self offence
great times
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

LOLCANCER

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

:(((
www.b3ta.com/talk/6202494
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

Is he dead yet?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

he won't die, he's a fighter, he'll get over this, he is strong and brave, and lovely

( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

*creeps up next to you*
HEEEEELLO MONGY!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Getting more hearing is scary
My hearing appears to have increased so much so that I've gone whole days before realising I've left my hearing aid at home, and being woken up by people on a morning.

I don't like it.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

blimey
is this due to a new treatment?
( spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

Nope
It was after an ear infection healed up (on its own).
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

hurrah for your immune system!
buy it a drink
( spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

Control other people's bodily functions.

( thealternativefact, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

Being Alex Mack
basically being able to change my shape.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

How about that

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

that what?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Is it alright to crack one out to her now?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Probably.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

Yes, she's 27

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

Depends if you're still wanking over pics of her as Alex Mack.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

Uh, maybe
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Mack
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Her?
www.kinoweb.de/film99/10ThingsIHateAboutYou/pix/tenthb6.jpg
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

The bendy, stretchy one out of Fantastic four
that way you could make your cock massive and thick to pleasure a woman who had a fanny like a leather binliner and make it small and gentle for the sort who would cry if you brutishly thrusted at them in the manner of SIKRIK.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

My mates and Missus rip the piss out of me for looking like the doll
espimages.biz/2152/I/555/6/scaleMr_Fantastic1.jpg
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

Telekinesis

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

The ability to change channels with your mind?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

+ float another bag of doritos out of the kitchen
while you continued to watch friends
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

psychokinesis

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

that was my least favourite plasmid in bioshock
i'd like super strength
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

setting things on fire was my favourite

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

yeah!
also, freezing then smashing with the wrench
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

Teleportation.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

The ability to banish televisions from your country?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

Coming over here, making me watch Goodness Gracious Me.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

You should set up the BBCNP
( vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

transmute base metal into marmite

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

I'd be on fucking fire

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Statistically speaking,
probably cancer.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

YOU HAD TO GO THERE DIDN'T YOU, YOU HEARTLESS PRICK, :((((((( WHERE'S IS SSG? IS HE OK?

( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

What's the proper name for Gambit's power?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

Fannying about with a poncey stick and hat?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

And blowing stuff up

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

'Terrorist'

( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

You can't prove anything!
*flees*
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

ahe-hem.
'As a mutant, Gambit possesses the ability to manipulate kinetic energy, as well as a hypnotic charm. He is also skilled in card throwing, hand-to-hand combat, and the use of a staff'
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6202463
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

See, you should write stuff for wikipedia
you use less words, thus less energy, thus are saving the planet.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

It would be a bit shit, though.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

No, it'd be better.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Have a sweetie.
I have millions.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Yowzer, thank you.
I'd like an orange one if you've got any.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Yep, well half orange half green fizzy thing.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Sexual healing

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

Phwoaar

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

So jumping on patients in the hospital, crouching on their faces and rubbing your fanny into it?
I wonder if they will offer that on the NHS?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

she already does that but at the moment she is working in the morgue

( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Omnipotence would be useful.

( Lord Gnome, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

shapeshifting would be cool

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

f t

nnngggg... a POOdle nnnnnnggggggg... a copy of the BIG ISSUE... nnnnggg nggg arrrrghhhhh OW OW OW GRUNT FUUUUUCK... Friz's shitty fucking face.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

haha
I could evade the law for DAYS as a copy of the Big Issue.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Well.
I did mean that you could shit shits out in different shapes.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

Your clothes would have to be able to shape shift too or will you have to be starkers.
Unless, that's the idea.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

that's totally the idea
a llama dressed like me would look a little odd.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

I dunno, it might look quite fetching in short shorts, blazer and cap.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

Cr3: Hey Spango, I'm home!
Spango: MAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cr3: Argh! A llama? But wait, are those Spango's shoes?
Spango: MAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cr3: Spango! Have you turned into a llama? Those shoes clash hideously with your fur!
Spango: MAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cr3: Hmm... does this make you Lottie The Llama now?
Spango: MAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cr3: AAARRRGH!
Spango: *burp* ... MAAAAAAAAAAA!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

haha
*clicks furiously*
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I would be able to wiggle my left ear.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

To be able to shape shift my dinkle and open locks with it.
'Cockpicking' if you will.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'd have the power to mutate
EXTRA FINGER, GO!
SUPER TUMOUR GROWING POWER, EXACERBATE!
( Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Being able to stretch really far
/lazy
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

haha

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Create forcefields.
So I can protect myself and anyone else and no-one can break inside.

Hmm... I see what the doctors mean now about "autistic tendancies".
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

The power to summon hyper intelligent cod at my beck and call.
admittedly not very useful but I would be glowing green at the time.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

use the cheat cod!

( spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)