Welcome to the New Internet.
We operate a strict door policy here. You don't look right, you ain't getting in.

There are no written rules. But if the thought "why isn't it 'Nu Internet'?" crossed your mind then you probably want to fuck off around the corner to Slapper's Disco Internet and Cocktail Saloon.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

Can we have a definition of what looks right?
Do I need a new hat?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

I think looking vaguely human is the first step.
And your first barrier.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

So some kind of tie would probably be in order.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

Looped around the rafters, perhaps.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

Windsor or Simple Double?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

You really have no idea how tedious you are, do you?
Wormulus was, sadly, spot on. I think you've racked up enough tedium to feed fatty for at least the next five minutes.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

Abuse from you Bud, is worth a thousand popular pagings.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

how about a hoof up the gunt from me?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)

bud can't even do abuse anymore, it's like baldmonkeys wacky, pointless and dull, repeats again

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:38, archived)

*clicks "I like this"*
I wish i could click twice.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:42, archived)

Get angry bud ! Show him who's boss !
GO INTERNET FORUM BASED FISTY CUFTS, GO !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:41, archived)

you are the playground wind-up merchant.
well done :)
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)

I'm gonna be 100% honest here...
I'm a straight man, but would still totally love to spend a night in Bud's arms.

But badger's got Wicca's bossum, which would also be worth a night in for.

Maybe we can combine the two?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:47, archived)

I feel combining Bud and Wicca may involve bloodshed.
but with a marvellous hairdo
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)

How is Bud wearing his hair nowadays?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)

beehive
with purple streaks.

PHWOAR

(allegedly)
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)

I've never understood this whole bud/wicca/shambles/badger/mykey war thinggy.
They all seem to be quite similar to me, may be it's the oppersite of oppersites attract?

I quite like all of them, in fact, there isn't many people I don't like.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)

I'm here so rarely I didn't know it was going on.
But I approve in a "/talk is the home of arguments" way
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)

I don't think anything is going on.
Most of the people on that list aren't even regulars any more.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

no?
boring. wanna fight, you hat wearer?
*adopts Autistic Crane Stance*
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

Have at you! You perishing little japanese dinosaur monster side-kick.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

I'll get my big bro down here.
he'll proper mash you up bruv.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

it's a bunch of growmn men acting like teenage girls online
i pity them all
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

Easy now, JMG.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

please don't link me with that needy attenti0n seeker, i once had a front page here dont you know

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

[whisper]
I think he has too ... don't tell the kids
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

oh Budley
internet fury? there's dignified.
( 100% kitten better than ever, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

Windsor is old hat these days
Double is the way forward.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

But its not symmetrical

( turb0t, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

I just don't like the Windsor and cutback collar look
smacks of estate agent.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Plus you cannot peanut a windsor

( turb0t, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

True.
I haven't heard the phrase 'to peanut a tie' in years!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

semantic webs your botty bot.

( MrA, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

I'm anti-semantic.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

this isn't new
you've just painted over the dirty bits and put a bow on it.
( scott,, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

Yeah
But it's under new management.

Might at least give it a try.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

How dare you.
We've also increased the price of Continental Lager by fifty pence a bottle and the bar staff have all got aprons with our name on.

And we've fixed the bolts on the cubicles and filled in the smaller glory holes.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

The trick is not to drink continental lager.
Drink British beer instead!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

British beer is only served in the private member's area.
I can't trust the riffraff with real glasses.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

I agree with this.
Give 'em Carling in plastic pint glasses.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Would you like to see my new cock?

( nick the greek, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

is it less warty than your old one?

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:41, archived)

It's kind of hard to tell.

( nick the greek, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

that's what my missus said.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)

i would like a bag of Cheetos

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

This is the way forwards.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

Free Entry for Gold Card Members.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

My member is solid gold.
Does that count?
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

You knows it.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

HEY BABY CAN YOU SAY BLINGBLING?

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Is it like New Labour? Will Neil Kinnock be tapping embarassingly to D:Ream?

( Druid, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

There will be no mocking of Neil Kinnock.
Cardiff City fan y'know.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)

good guy too

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:39, archived)

:(

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

If they won't let us in MGT it'll mean we're too awesome.

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

You can come in but your boyfriend looks like trouble and you'll have to leave your delusions of supernatural beings in the cloakroom.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

I'm using this post to tell you all something.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

I appreciate the effort if not the sentiment.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

Actually I think I might go for a run.
Keep me updated on any 'fun' that happens.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

what is the something that you are telling in this post ?

( turb0t, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

Exactly.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:18, archived)

Is this the internet we all have to pay £6 a year for?

( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

No. This one's free.
I'm subsidising it with another tax on stupid people.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

All hail Shambles.

( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

I've set my anti-skate to zero
and I'm about to wicci wicci scruh scruh wicci wuh scratch.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:12, archived)

my housemate just told me about that
And that ofcom will throttle back my internets if they think I'm pirating. WTF?
( CowJam, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

i just watched Drag me to hell
Sam Raimi had some fun with that huh
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

So did you delete the SSG cancer thread because he does have cancer
or because he doesn't?
( CowJam, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

because maybe he does
i looked at his profile

i think he has cancer of the beard
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

I enjoyed that fillim

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

I admire some of Sam Raimi's work
but I don't recognise your username so you're not coming in. Especially not with those trainers. Did your mum buy them?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

im on the VIP list
just cos my username changed, i´ve been around these parts before you had pubes.

and i´m wearing only SOCKS.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

Meh. Even your old account is a no-name noob.
www.b3ta.com/search/posts/27773
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)

God, it's like being seen wearing your school shoes at the weekend
*shames*
( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:12, archived)

haha
that is a forgotten and particularly shameful kind of shame.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:52, archived)

pleb 2.0

( spacefish bong!, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:12, archived)

Whatever.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

*flashes my ID*

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:19, archived)

LOL WTF kind of name is McLOVIN!

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:21, archived)

Can I get in if I buy you this?
www.drinkstuff.com/products/product.asp?ID=4256
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

...and sixty three pence
what sort of a rounded price is that ?
( turb0t, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

Quite a lot of stuff is oddly priced
I guess its the reduced VAT shenanigans
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)

I'm glad it's free delivery.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

If you look around
You can get a £5 off voucher, makes it even more appealing
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

haha
£5 off your next purchase of LIFE SIZED T-REX MODEL
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)

This is a BBQ essential
www.drinkstuff.com/products/product.asp?ID=3746&catID=487&name=Pick+Your+Nose+Party+Cups
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

Makes you wonder what they'll think up next.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)

Sliced bread?

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

The world is not ready.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:33, archived)

I'll stick to buns

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:35, archived)

Now THAT would be my first purchase upon winning the lottery.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)

I AM SEEKING VALIDATION.
ONLINE
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)

I'd validate you...
...sorry
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

Hang, let me check the list.

( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:35, archived)

The bouncer will validate you for a bit outside the fire exit if you like.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)

Cor!

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)

well i'll be

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:27, archived)

hairy

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

Dead soon

( Druid, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

THATS NOT FUNNY
IS AIDS OR HANDICAPPED PEOPLE FUNNY?
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:35, archived)

only if it's bad AIDS,
and bad past-life Karma respectively
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:36, archived)

Haha :)

( Druid, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)

or jockeys.
fucking jockeys.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:42, archived)

shame shit
different management, i really should be given the the permission to just strike my own justice on the timid and the dull
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)

You sir, I need advice.
I need a pair of cheapest of cheap leather welding gloves either in natural leather colour or grey so I can die them. You being a tradesman type should be able to tell me where to get such.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:41, archived)

that doesn´t make him gay

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:42, archived)

i'm not really a welder, i just found these goggles
i have no idea, soz, no offence, try pts online site, i doubt they are cheap
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

Yeah', fine, ok, fair enough.
Don't mind me, I'm gonna get to the slapper's disco, if they're in the door, they've got to be 18, right? Not my fault, guv'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:39, archived)

Oh man
I invested quite a lot in the Old Internet. Maybe I can sell it for parts.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:51, archived)

Throw a dust sheet over it.
We'll resurrect it as Retro in twelve months and make an absolute killing.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

I look incredibly generic.
Am I allowed on this new internet?
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

Beard or boobs?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)

BOTH

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

Oh momma.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

I'm so HOT

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

No diggedy.
We like the way you work it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)

I try to bag it up.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

Boobs please.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

y generic e
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

cr
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)