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£42 for the SMALLEST bottle of Chanel No5!!
What have you paid far too much for recently?
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:22, archived)
Nowt
I'm not daft
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:23, archived)
[something about what's on tv]

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:23, archived)
You didn't have to buy it.
£24 for a round in That London, three pints of lager and three bottles of Magners.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:25, archived)
See, you should have put on a cockernee accent, and then you would have got it for £2.50.

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:30, archived)
Nah
I could never betray my roots and put on one of those accents.

Hello mister. I'm FREEZING.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:31, archived)
I have just put the heating on. For today I am WORKING FROM HOME.
Which means I just fanny around here rather than having to travel into central London to do so.
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:34, archived)
:o
They saw you coming!
And by that I mean they saw the top of your head over the bar, and you tiptoed so you could look them in the eye, then reached up really high so you could hand the money over.
Personally I was using moon boots to bounce up to their level.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:31, archived)
I look down on you short people
I have nothing against you or anything, it's just that kneeling down to look you in the eyes gets a bit painful on the knees
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:35, archived)
Ask your mum for tips on how to deal with it.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:38, archived)
Dude, we're both totally in the lower fifty percential of height charts.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:39, archived)
I know
Hence the moon boots.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:40, archived)

I totally want some now
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:41, archived)
Heh, back when I was a kid, I had all the moon boots and shell suites a kid could want, as dad used to sale them.
Anything from florcent yellow to midnight blue.

But these were the original moon boots, like these.

I was at the height of fashion growing up !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:45, archived)
I wore hockey shirts before any rap gangster did.
PITTSBURGH PITTSBURGH PITTSBURGH !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:46, archived)
As a freakishly tall gangly fuck growing up
I never had clothes that fit me. Especially trousers. All the kids used to ask me if the cat had died cos my trousers were at half mast. One day my cat had died so I punched a kid in the face. That learnt him. I did have a shell suit though. That didn't fit either.
(The disappointing sex raven is a disappointing sex raven, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:52, archived)
I'm now imagining your dad as some kind of Jewish Del Boy
with a mini-Gonz :)
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:55, archived)
haha awesome.

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:59, archived)
i was never fashionable and i never will be.

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:00, archived)
i dunno, i saw you in your costume
i think you should wear that when you're out on the town
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:01, archived)
costume?!

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:03, archived)
yeah, i knows who you are now :)

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:04, archived)
what costume though?

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:08, archived)
panda

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:25, archived)
oh boy *hides behind bamboo*

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:29, archived)
grrrrowl :)

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:33, archived)
You must show me this photo
for I also know who you are mua mua muahahah.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:32, archived)
i totally tweeted it at some point

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:35, archived)
*text message noises*

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:36, archived)
hello, new person

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:17, archived)
haha fooled you.

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:20, archived)
I totally know now.
*pinches*
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:32, archived)
*hugs*

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:37, archived)

dreidel boy
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:00, archived)
hahaha

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:03, archived)
Hah, it's pretty much true =)

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:13, archived)
A sick cat
The loveable ginger shit.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:25, archived)
my cat keeps yacking without producing any vomit :(

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:50, archived)
and he's being really fussy about his food

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:50, archived)
GROSS
we had a cat for a couple of days, it sneezed a lot
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:56, archived)
ew.
what did you do with it?
(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:58, archived)
he just went outside one day and jumped into the neighbours yard
we only looked after him for a couple of days because he kept coming and mewling outside the back door while it was pissing down with rain
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:02, archived)
when we were in france once there was a siamese cat that kept yowling round our door looking painfully thin.

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:04, archived)
i'd love it if we could have a pet cat
but the landlord says nooooo

the one we had for 2 days was called 'ultra magnus'
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:05, archived)
This picture of Dame Judi Dench
It doesn't even look like her
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:25, archived)
I think it's actually Hattie Jacques frowning

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)
to be fair, it is now covered in plastic so that you can fire loads of man milk at it and be able to wipe it down.

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:57, archived)
*spluff*
Now she's got a beard!
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:59, archived)
LOL a beard of sperm.
A little like a beard of bees but less buzzy/stingy. Plus if you fired bees from your penis, you should prolaby get it looked at.
(The disappointing sex raven is a disappointing sex raven, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:04, archived)
BEENIS

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:05, archived)
Every time my willy farts a little wasp comes out and crawls off because its wings are broken
Then the willy cries and the wasp dies
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:09, archived)
Fuck my old boots
That was weird creepy dark and a little sad. I almost feel sorry for all parties concerned. Almost.
(The disappointing sex raven is a disappointing sex raven, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:16, archived)
*stands topless on a cliff*
Life is one of the only things we had
*Shot zoomed into my designer stubber*
Life is one of the only things we need.
*Shot zoomed into waves crashing against the sea*
Life is one of the only things we are.
*Shot zoomed into bottle*
Life: The new Old De La Toilet
*Ready Steady Cook theme music*
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:26, archived)
This was probably the best thing I've ever written, and it gets ignored =(

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:38, archived)
I enjoyed it
but I didn't know what to reply
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:39, archived)
i didn't know what "stubber" was so i assumed it was an injoke!

(I helped save b3ta! valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:42, archived)
Oh, stuble.
As in, facial hair.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:42, archived)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:45, archived)

I enjoyed the waves crashing into the sea bit. It made back hair stand on end.
(The disappointing sex raven is a disappointing sex raven, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:44, archived)
*Holds up big sign.*
With SHUT THE FUCK UP 90Nz0! printed on it.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:20, archived)
11p, your mum.
Apart from that I don't think I've been too heavily ripped off recently.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:26, archived)
as if by magic, a shop keeper appeared

(I helped save b3ta! likeajackhammer, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:27, archived)
I'm sure someone will make reference to your mum...
I wont, because your father was far more expensive
(I helped save b3ta! likeajackhammer, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:26, archived)
I had some of that cat shit tea.

(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)
My finished PC build.
I am still buying parts every month. Think I am addicted to upgrading.
(Fluffster, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:30, archived)
well, I don't mean to dig up the past
but definiately this
www.japantrendshop.com/nyantomo-kitten-hot-water-bottle-p-206.html

which is a realistic soft kitten-shaped hot water bottle which came to a total of 81 gold
(I helped save b3ta! valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:33, archived)
i'm paying with my soul.

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:35, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:36, archived)
i think souls regenerate though, right?
like liver?
(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:42, archived)
I hope so :)

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:44, archived)
well my soul IS brown and slimy and full of tenacious chewy tubes.

(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:46, archived)
HELLOY MOTSY !
How are you doing on this most fabulous of days? I do hope the family are all tip-top.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:38, archived)
um lovely ta.
how are you?
(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:40, archived)
Thank's for asking, and caring.
I'm not doing to badly, insides are playing up a little bit, but in general I'm on top form. Tesco are doing 8 cans of red bull for a £5, so I bought all their stock last night.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:48, archived)
that sounds awesome, i might pop to tesco later on.
the man loves redbull with his vodka
(motsy isn't really here, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:49, archived)
All the hippest coolest cats do.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:22, archived)
your kidneys
I'm expecting them to be delivered this afternoon
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:40, archived)
I regret spending 15 quid on a voucher.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:49, archived)
What kind of voucher?
A voucher for PAIN?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:53, archived)
I wish I could afford 15 quids worth of PAIN :'(

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:05, archived)
Desired things in "Being Expensive" shocker

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:55, archived)
reeeeeeeeaaaadddddddd aaallllllll aaaaabbbboooooouuuttttt iiiitttttt!

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:58, archived)
*subscribes to The Blindingly Obvious Gazette*

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:04, archived)
It doesn't even smell nice.
It's vile stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:10, archived)
my mum wears it
hence, I never can.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:18, archived)
eurostar tickets
should have travelled today, what a fucking waste of time, now travelling tomorrow, if not they will have me falling on them.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:57, archived)
Christmas Crackwhores

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:59, archived)
An old valve amp
it was free, but it's going to hoover up money until it's restored, looking at about £350 to bring it back to life. Oooof.
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:07, archived)
your poor ring piece

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:13, archived)
Nothing
thanks for asking, though.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:10, archived)
Food for Office Kittens.
The greedy little shitbags.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:19, archived)
Feed them penguins
they love them once the wrappers are off
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:32, archived)
Office Cat (RIP) used to catch goslings at this time of year.
I've not seen any evidence of such skills from this lot yet.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:42, archived)