You put your whole fist inYour whole fist out
In
Out
In
Out
You shake it all about
(, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 7:23, archived)
Did someone popular page that by accident?Or is it just that wonderful that I'm saying "morning" on here?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 11:56,
archived)
MornimoomoosUpdate… currently sitting in the reception of a conference space with a background of mellow nu-jazz, like 3rd album Simply Red, but without the urban grit and soul.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 8:49,
archived)
Is their 3rd album the really shit one, or is that all their other albums?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 9:37,
archived)
One of them had a nice song that wasn't sung by Mick HucknallEdit:
McIntyre successfully auditioned for Simply Red in 1984. [3] He co-wrote several of Simply Red's songs with frontman Mick Hucknall and sang background vocals. He also sang the lead vocals in the song "Wonderland" from the Stars album.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 9:52,
archived)
Their first one was pretty listenableHad a good energy and some good songs on it. Each one after that got progressively more souless and anodyne.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 11:22,
archived)
6/7BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-69407063
Quiz of the week: Why was ‘Wagatha Christie’ back in court? - BBC News
(, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 10:03, archived)
I'm Dr Shambolic tonightAnd I'll be performing free autopsies
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 22:33,
archived)
I'm sure you pull your finger out you could do four.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 22:36,
archived)
Gonna blame you if I get struck off tomorrow for humming the hokey cokey whilst doing prostate exams(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 0:30,
archived)
that's what it's all aboutOHHHHH
(
MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 7:09,
archived)
I like to hang a white coat on my favorite one, I call it 'the doctor'(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 0:39,
archived)
I'll never forget that episode where he Shipman'd Helen Daniels
(
$$ ✅, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 17:09,
archived)
ripethel ripethel let down your hair(
MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 17:52,
archived)
i'm not falling for that you silly sausage(
MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 18:15,
archived)
https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=Ethel+Kennedy
(
brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 20:17,
archived)
It was an "I don't care" kind of "Who?".(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 11 Oct 2024, 11:25,
archived)
Ooh what channel?I preferred the first Taken but I’ll watch the sequel if it’s on soon.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 19:08,
archived)
Queef is Dr. Shambolic Thought you should all know.
Bye!
Queef=McBeef=Shambolic
(, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 16:50, archived)
Well that lasted about as long as I predicted.(
brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 17:29,
archived)
I think I was Dr Shambolic during skewgate, maybe we all take turns(, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 22:19, archived)
Fuck,I'm so glad I asked snotters to fix the archive so we can see all this vile shit.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 15:38,
archived)
It's an old-fashioned threadrush.Just like in days of yore, only somehow even shitter.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 15:09,
archived)
And how much shitter can we possibly manageI'd be proud if I were you
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 15:13,
archived)
I'm very proud of my shitter.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 15:21,
archived)
b3ta.com/talk/6000000
(
MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 16:38,
archived)
[COMPLAINT THREAD]Customer complaints about the recent thread disruption may be posted here. We ask that you remain polite and patient while normal service is restored. Current estimates are 1 to 2 hours.
Thank you.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:36,
archived)
I wish to complain in the strongest terms again(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:37,
archived)
"moose", "chihuahua", "mong", "hippo"welcome to the b3ta zoo
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:42,
archived)
You are in luck!This is exactly the right place to do so! Please, reply below and an agent will be with you shortly!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:44,
archived)
no you've misunderstood, I just want to complain (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 13:07,
archived)
Well that's great, you are in the right place!Please, go on.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 13:08,
archived)
well it's not good enough is it, it's a disgrace, unbelievable(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 13:11,
archived)
As a gesture of goodwill, we are willing to offer you a voucher code for discounted travel on future threads.[THIS VOUCHER ENTITLES THE BEARER TO 35% REDUCED CYBERBULLYING ON B3TA.COM FOR 30 DAYS FROM THE DATE OF HANDOVER]
[███████████████] < Scratch here to reveal code.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 13:41,
archived)
I'd like to complain.The replacement thread smelled of sick and the conductor didn't even offer to tug me off in the dining car.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:41,
archived)
We have no record of a "dining car"...Sir, do you know your own name? Where do you call "home"? Is there someone we can call to collect you?
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:43,
archived)
Are you flirting with me, madam?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:50,
archived)
"dining car" is rhyming slang for /calendar(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 13:18,
archived)
I have a complaint The last thread groped both my mother and my sister whilst going through a tunnel. I feel quite left out.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:49,
archived)
The groping thread is not due for another 5 hours.Please report unauthorised groping to C.S.A. "Cheers", directly.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 13:05,
archived)
Just want to say, I don't have anything against the brown ones but I couldn't understand a word of it. (, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:57, archived)
Thank you for your feedback!We value your opinion and will endeavour to integrate your constructive critique into future service improvements.
If you have the time, please provide a short summary of what we did well, and also anything you think we could improve upon.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 13:08,
archived)
The snail-race to 9M is underway, be vigilant!Any day now...
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 13:02,
archived)
I wish to complain in the strongest terms(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:30,
archived)
Complaints go in the next thread, but must not start the thread.We thank you for your patience!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:34,
archived)
THIS THREAD IS NOT IN SERVICEPlease use the next one.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:44,
archived)
QUEEF'S!Alright?
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:01,
archived)
After two decades, I am afraid your hopes for that are sadly dashed.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:04,
archived)
yo manI'm ticking over, you know
how's life back in 't3h 90s'
(
Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:04,
archived)
It's the '90s already?!omg, I was looking forward to the first Iraq War! I missed it!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:05,
archived)
It's ok.b3ta.com/talk/7777777
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:26,
archived)
This early chevron is safe in the archives. It's a late reply to the very first talk thread.b3ta.com/talk/1467622
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:21,
archived)
Huff away, huff awayFill your nose from the hole where I pass stools
(
Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:06,
archived)
What's the stollocks, morning bollocks?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:19,
archived)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKK!(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:22,
archived)
It's not quite the official Aardvark greeting (the generator has been broken for some time now)but it makes me happy anyway. How are you, the lovely Mr Trouser?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:30,
archived)
On the trouser scale.I would say... "Levi 501". Comfy, yet practical. Never out of style.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:35,
archived)
Morning!Which racial slur will brb type into search today, while feeling superiour?
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:22,
archived)
Look at all those people that need to be on 2.0!RACISTS! EVERYWHERE!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:50,
archived)
Talking of shit, I found this classic b3ta moment.b3ta.com/talk/712961
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:54,
archived)
Fucking hell, think snotty should break the archive again so I never have to read that(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 10:52,
archived)
Fuck.I'd forgotten that.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:00,
archived)
Oh no(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 15:37,
archived)
He told me off with being friends with the talk racists and how I should hold them to accountand for some reason linked to the stats page showing I had posted two messages that week, clearly I'm a very active member of this community.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 10:39,
archived)
I NOTICE YOU!So all is well! You are a valued member of the community.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:01,
archived)
Fucking hellsuch a big world, so many other places to go, and yet here he is
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 12:33,
archived)
I think it must have been for some reason that you are deliberately misrepresenting.I have twice linked the stats page recently to demonstrate that I am not ignoring the majority of talk users, a claim often repeated by that master rhetorician and theologian mohafa.
(
brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 17:25,
archived)
Having the search function back must be a nightmare for most of you.I can spell superior, and peoples' moral inferiority is evidenced by the search function returning. I don't use the kind of language that makes people like mongychops and 'moohalaa' scum.
If you think I fight against your racism to feel superior, that's an understandable emotional reaction on your part. Making me out to be the evil one requires a lot less thought than any amount of introspection.
The thing is you don't have to let your racist past dominate your present or future. Though I have never been as low as a mongychops I have said and done things that I regret and apologise for. See how easy it is to do that?
(
brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 15:26,
archived)
Just call me angel of the morning, angelJust touch my cheek before you leave me, baby
Just call me angel of the morning, angel
Then slowly turn away from me
(, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:48, archived)
And now I want to watch Deadpool again (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 9:50,
archived)
Couldn't be betteryoutube.com/shorts/PCAFgrqCh5Q?si=Doh-40Vdrc3S4lfq
(, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 11:04, archived)
I'd just like to remind you all that the Pipe Smoker of the year award has been gone now for 20 yearsStephen Fry and Alf Garnett were among those who held the precious title.
(, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 3:28, archived)
To be reminded of that, I'd have to have known in the first place.(, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 7:19, archived)
I vaguely remember Someone being interviewed who had won it that year, despite not smoking a pipe
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 7:27,
archived)
i think the doveston won it two years running (
MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 8:14,
archived)
Should have given it to Whitney Houstonfor her outstanding work with a crack pipe.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 8:40,
archived)
and her seamless integration of bathing, drug taking, and breath cessation(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 14:29,
archived)
Bollocks, it's all broken againb3ta.com/talk/8426361
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 20:34,
archived)
Seems fine here:b3ta.com/search/talk?q=paki
You just have to click things 3 times to get them to work now.
(
brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 20:45,
archived)
it works for me if i hit refresh on the empty page (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 20:50,
archived)
That's that Spanish tennis player, right?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 21:14,
archived)
Works for meb3ta.com/search/talk?q=you+fucking+stupid+fucking+cunt
(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 21:10,
archived)
You get used to it. I don't even see the code, all I see is blonde, brunette, goatse(, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 22:02, archived)
That was a part of the new siteI never copied the fix over to it.
All fixed now.
(
Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 0:15,
archived)
you can just copy+paste, there are special shortcuts, let me know if you want to learn more(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Oct 2024, 2:04,
archived)
if you were real glued_eel would still be posting(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 14:56,
archived)
I just did a really satisfying shit. I can recommend that.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 14:49,
archived)
To the tune of 'I Feel Love.'(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 17:33,
archived)
I don't know, what the fat man said checks out so far but I can't see the harm in hedging my bets. I have a collective shrine dedicated to all the currently available deities and their surrogates, although I think some Happy Meal Marvel figurines may have gotten mixed up in there... can't be really sure without disturbing some legitimately represented gods, so I reckon it's best left.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 15:44,
archived)
Pushing all the pricks down the boardI've added support for a more efficient PHP backend to the site.
It's been deployed as a canary deployment, which means when you load a page there's 50/50 chance that you will get the old site or the new one.
If you see any new issues, especially any that look random then let my representative on the mortal plane know.
(
God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:50,
archived)
I deployed my PHPænus up your nan’s backend last night (
Cheers Cheers, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:55,
archived)
She told me about itYou should get checked for gingivitis
(
Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:57,
archived)
sure, no worries Lord, blessed be your name(
Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:59,
archived)
Thanks for explaining the term 'canary deployment' but given that you had to define it, then why include it? Just the definition itself is enough. Can you explain your reasoning?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 14:01,
archived)
I also can't see why you'd need an earthly intermediary given your omnipotent all-knowing nature, it just makes no sense. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 14:03,
archived)
Depends if he was watching you this morning or not(
Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 14:27,
archived)
You sure that's not Twitter?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 14:22,
archived)
You created man in your own image Surely this means that you're the biggest prick of all?
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 14:04,
archived)
Half the time nothing loads at all, I guess that would be the new site.(
brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 16:52,
archived)
It took 3 goes to post that^(
brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 16:53,
archived)
Only 1 to post that^(
brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 16:53,
archived)
NEW PERSON ALERTHello new person, show us your tits. Or your fanny. We don’t mind, we’re inclusive here.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 18:50,
archived)
b3ta.com/talk/4146072
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:20,
archived)
mike woz ere's flounce history is quite the readyou'll need to highlight the text see the links due to some html fuck-uperry
b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=16234
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 11:13,
archived)
Is this your way of volunteering to be /talk's unofficial historian?Someone needs to curate the mountains of shit to find the nuggets of slightly-less-shit, and it might as well be you.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 11:30,
archived)
Absolutely fucking not(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 11:41,
archived)
Ok that's confirmed then, thanks UTOL. We'll all ask you our /talk-related questions from now on.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 11:44,
archived)
Please ask away(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 11:45,
archived)
Who is the shittest /talk user ever, and why?Does their shitness involve frisbees or a pink prolapsed anus or what?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 11:48,
archived)
I don't like to speak ill of the dead.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 12:29,
archived)
You’re the worst at being the worst.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:01,
archived)
Don't say that about yourself m8, it's just not true. You're an unremarkably average dullard 👍🏻(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:22,
archived)
take a look at musk jumping about on stage at that trump rally, that's what 'the worst' looks like(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 15:52,
archived)
You shit, that lead me to find this...b3ta.com/talk/7694902
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:11,
archived)
Dear Sn0tters, please make it possible to delete someone else’s post(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 13:49,
archived)
Stick your morning up your arse.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 7:10,
archived)
I said your morning, not your neighbour’s fist.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 7:48,
archived)
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 9:26,
archived)
I was thinking a gnome's hat would be the right sort of shape,(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 9:58,
archived)
I hope he writes a new booky wookfull of conspriacy wiracies.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 9:30,
archived)
Yepand a Wednesday to you too.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 8:39,
archived)
Morning web colleagues, let's get to work on making some of the best quality posts on an internet forum..I'm looking forward to seing what you all come up with, I can already tell it's going to be great.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 9:25,
archived)
my name is jacob dyer and i live in bristol. it is fantastic. i sound like barnaby bear. i like barnaby bear. one time he went to france. i went to france. but some kid burnt my neck. i didnt like it.(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 9:56,
archived)
I’m still dining out on having met Jacob Dyer.He was all right.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 10:02,
archived)
Did he do the orginal post here or on /board?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 10:07,
archived)
Fuck knows, I never use /board, and I've only ever seen people quoting it, not the original.Didn't we used to have a resident autist who memorised the entirety of /talk and could tell you when anything was posted?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 10:13,
archived)
I think it was from /board and I was ONLINE when it happened.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 10:26,
archived)
Do I look like "some kid" to you?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 9 Oct 2024, 10:15,
archived)
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