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Morning
this place is working again then is it?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:24, archived)

Apparently so
Morning
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:26, archived)

This is what happens when our moderators take a stand against AI, they paint a massive target on the site

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:38, archived)

~~target~~ badly drawn cock with 3ppb
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:45, archived)

Bin day changed from Monday to Thursday 2 weeks ago
And there are still people on my street getting it wrong.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:52, archived)

Many of them voted for Suella Braverman, I'm sure that's relevant

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:53, archived)

brb's fault

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:56, archived)

Shit, hope u r ok xxx

(

$$ ✅, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:58, archived)

I'm a bit shaky but I'll get through it
Nothing a cup of cocoa and a warm blanket can't solve! Lol!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:12, archived)

Thoughts and prayers

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:21, archived)

My next door neighour is a GP.
She has at least two of each bin, and is chronically incapable of putting them out on the correct days. Her garden waste bins have been sitting outside for months, unemptied, because she has last year's permits stuck to them.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:24, archived)

alright garold

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:02, archived)

harsh but fair

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:04, archived)

No one reads all that shit you type

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:12, archived)

Happy World Kindness Day!

(

$$ ✅, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:58, archived)

Fuck you.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:15, archived)

Stick it up yer bum

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:21, archived)

~~Kindness~~ Darren
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:25, archived)

I'm definitely celebrating today
Be kind, and the world be's kind to you. There.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:13, archived)

Be's?
BEES
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:17, archived)

Be's m8
Be's
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:24, archived)

morning

(

CowJam, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:21, archived)

Mohring

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:22, archived)

ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning
ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning ning
Remember me, I'm the one who had your baby's eyes
(

CowJam, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:45, archived)

No

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:47, archived)

YES

(

CowJam, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:26, archived)

Get fucked

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 13:00, archived)

I always thought it was "remember me, I'm the one who had your babies, aye"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:55, archived)

Apparently kissthisguy.com is still a thing.
Funniest of the Month
The misheard: I bless the grains down in Africa

Comedy fucking gold there
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:56, archived)

I heard "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" recently
And the lyric "More than ever" sounded like "Mama Nelson" to my ear, and I couldn't shake it. I now can't hear the correct lyric at all. My brain has rewired itself
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:14, archived)

Wish I could rewire it to be good at Kung Fu or summat

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:15, archived)

I've been singing Waterfalls wrong for so long
I think TLC have got it wrong whenever I hear it played.
(

CowJam, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:27, archived)

I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 11:54, archived)

please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you know about

(

CowJam, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 13:40, archived)

I keep trying to fuck it up
But it keeps fighting me
(

Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 9:23, archived)

You have to remember that cr3 "became one with the code", so a part of him still lives in there.
Don't make him angry...
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 11:18, archived)

Do not try and bend the chin. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. There is no chin.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 11:58, archived)

muhahahahahha
Excellent.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 12:26, archived)

So this means I can see his big logs?

(

Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 23:16, archived)

HIYA!

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 10:53, archived)

My brother would've turned 55 today :(

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 11:35, archived)

That sucks.
Hope you are going to remember him in a way that he would approve.
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 12:07, archived)

Prolly nosh off a narwhal

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 13:32, archived)

He would have loved that

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 14:07, archived)

Happy Heavenly birthday to Queef's brother on 13th November which would have been his birthday on 13th November!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 12:15, archived)

evening

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 19:59, archived)

good evening

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 20:11, archived)

A few months ago I was unaware of this leafy, fast-growing vegetable. Now I’m growing it, recommending it – and giving away as much as I can
-vegetable +fungüs on my pænüs
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 20:50, archived)

alrite popeye

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 20:52, archived)

Adrian "Popeye" Chiles

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 20:53, archived)

Turtle power!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 21:41, archived)

To the cashier who left me absolutely speechless – I salute you
Ours was a highly unusual interaction, and it made me question the way that British people speak to one another
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 20:51, archived)

fuck off you mong faced twat

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 20:58, archived)

clickin dis

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 22:11, archived)

sorry i meant would you like a bag with that

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 22:49, archived)

His dog barked at my kid

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 21:41, archived)

HIYA!

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 20:52, archived)

HIYA!

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 21:31, archived)

^highly unusual interaction

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 20:52, archived)

stridulating my sweaty ganglions

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 22:43, archived)

Why the fucketty fucking hell
Is my phone full of adverts for battery power mains generator things that you charge from your house tyen use for camping or Armageddon or sone shit.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 21:50, archived)

because you haven't installed ublock origin

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 22:11, archived)

i feel like i haven't seen an advert since around 1935
thank you ublock origin!
(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 22:41, archived)

This feels like an advert for ublock origin

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Nov 2025, 8:39, archived)

afternoon

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:24, archived)

i'm doing a venison stew

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:24, archived)

what’s the vegan option?

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:30, archived)

sprouts i suppose

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:46, archived)

Prefab+
When Love Breaks Wind
(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:49, archived)

King of Rock ‘n’ (bog) roll

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:50, archived)

I Trawl The Megashartz

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:51, archived)

stew, duh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 19:26, archived)

stuart

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 19:58, archived)

eveninh

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:30, archived)

alright cheers my old china plate

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:47, archived)

sorry I don’t speak southern

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:48, archived)

fuck off then

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:53, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8461615
(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 18:59, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8461347
(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 19:01, archived)

Greetings from Milton Keynes!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 11:58, archived)

Stick it up your arse

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 12:00, archived)

Way ahead of you

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 12:02, archived)

What happened to Horsham?
Lol 50p whore's ham.
(

.Yeti., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 12:06, archived)

On my way back to 'oop north'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 12:31, archived)

go for a ski at xscape
then nip to popworld for a boogie
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 12:19, archived)

No thanks

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 12:31, archived)

So many roundabouts, so little paint

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 12:33, archived)

they're mostly covered in trees and grass
So it's flags only i guess
(

Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 17:06, archived)

Happy World Pneumonia Day!

(

$$ ✅, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 12:39, archived)

It’s nothing to sniff at

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 13:00, archived)

Coke caused me to have pneumonia and sepsis
Well…a massive coke binge did
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 13:30, archived)

Try harder next time

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 14:08, archived)

+ you retard

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 16:03, archived)

We went indoor sky diving in Milton Keynes
it's a jolly fun thing to do
www.iflyworld.co.uk
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 13:24, archived)

presumably this involves a big fan
(

theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 13:42, archived)

It does. A very big, very powerful one.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 13:45, archived)

He likes it a lot, he said so

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 13:56, archived)

Endorse it?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 Nov 2025, 15:48, archived)

No, Buckinghamshire.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 Nov 2025, 15:48, archived)

Princes Risborough

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 16:29, archived)

Borough?
I don't get it.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 Nov 2025, 16:44, archived)

You have to say 'Risborough Mountbatten-Windsor' now.

(

.Yeti., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 16:50, archived)

+ny

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 17:57, archived)

Morning, hahahaha

(

mongychops, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 0:07, archived)

Fuck you, Sm.... hey wait
Hey mongy.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 0:15, archived)

hahahalf past eight here

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 1:34, archived)

Soon be lunch

(

mongychops, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 4:28, archived)

Morning all. Time to answer the eternal question.
How much work will I actually do today?
(

Octo I ruin everything., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 6:16, archived)

Is this multiple choice, or do we have to write an essay?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 6:45, archived)

Its one word answers only

(

Octo I ruin everything., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 6:59, archived)

smeg

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 7:11, archived)

gunt

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 10:01, archived)

Neunmilliardeneinhundertzweiundneunzigmillionensechshunderteinunddreißigtausendsiebenhundertsiebzigfache

(

.Yeti., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 10:19, archived)

I think a no-word answer would be more appropriate

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 10:21, archived)

How much fuck would a wood fuck fuck if a wood fuck could fuck wood?

(

Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 19:33, archived)

morningchops

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 7:12, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 8:26, archived)

Whensday?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 8:54, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 9:11, archived)

haha, no way!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 10:07, archived)

You lot act like bloody kids

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 10:27, archived)

we have a right laugh here don't we

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 11:58, archived)

alright

(

$$ ✅, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 11:29, archived)

is it beer of the cock yet?

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 17:20, archived)

Haha, this is always funny!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 17:35, archived)

YOU'RE ALWAYS FUNNY

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 18:01, archived)

Yeah I no m8 oh hahaha

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 18:03, archived)

hahaha

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 18:18, archived)

we have a right laugh here don't we

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 18:36, archived)

we sure do m8
we sure do
(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 19:06, archived)

I don’t

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 22:22, archived)

Fuck you, Cheers, fuck you

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 0:17, archived)

hahaha

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 1:31, archived)

no, it's haram

(

$$ ✅, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 17:55, archived)

no it tisnt

(

MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 18:02, archived)

As-salamu alaykum m8

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 21:30, archived)

hahaharam

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 1:31, archived)

afternoon jakeys

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:44, archived)

Skyrockets in flakeys

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:47, archived)

Bollocks

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:58, archived)

Yes, you're right, sorry.
Bollocks in flakeys
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 13:46, archived)

SCROTE FRITTERS! HA CHA CHA CHA!

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 13:50, archived)

awright pal

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:48, archived)

Thinking about taking up performative reading.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 13:26, archived)

Do it, but send mixed signals. For example, pretend to read Dostoevsky, but move your lips as you read

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 14:37, archived)

but he's only pretending to read, so do his lips move?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 14:47, archived)

Maybe he should pretend to move his lips? Honestly, I know very little about actual literature.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 16:14, archived)

Lol slip

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 16:31, archived)

slip shone

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 16:34, archived)

hullo

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 14:11, archived)

The jakeys across the road from us have moved out, came back 3 weeks later to get their caravan.
This involved lots of shouting.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 14:21, archived)

whole lotta jakey going on

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 14:34, archived)

Jakey, Rattle and Roll
My Achey Jakey Heart
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 14:44, archived)

Don't Jake Your Love To Town

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 16:15, archived)

Dying In A Box

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 15:54, archived)

Buried In A Box
etc
(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 15:55, archived)

Not Living in a Box Any More

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 15:57, archived)

Richard sub-Box

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 16:01, archived)

Afternoon

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 16:14, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 5:26, archived)

ningmor

(

Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 6:34, archived)

Quoth the waki raven

(

Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 7:34, archived)

That would be a Jay, then.
The only member of the crow family that dresses like Timmy Mallett.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 8:15, archived)

Lol member

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 10:33, archived)

or ningm

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 6:38, archived)

Ello

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 6:47, archived)

gronnim

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 7:12, archived)

The jakeys start early in Leeds.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 7:12, archived)

wakey jakeys

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 7:45, archived)

Leeds m8. Not Wakefield.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 8:33, archived)

what the fuck are you banging on about?

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 10:14, archived)

'Wakey' is what people down here call Wakefield.
The end.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 10:53, archived)

and 'jakey'?

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:23, archived)

DO YOUR RESEARCH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:24, archived)

i just fucking did!
I asked the cunt who posted it
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:32, archived)

[citation needed]

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 16:18, archived)

Wokey jokeys more like*
*I have no idea who they are
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 9:30, archived)

Wokey jokey, pig in a pokey!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 11:15, archived)

I identify as an attack helicopter lol

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:33, archived)

*passes briefcase under bench*

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 8:16, archived)

awning

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 7:22, archived)

morning

(

Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 7:36, archived)

ron ming

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 8:29, archived)

Woke up at 6.45 for a piss so knew it wasn't worth trying to beat you to the morning post.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 9:29, archived)

I was up at 5 to go to Horsham.
Kinell.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 9:31, archived)

I'm going to Horsham as I type this.
Wait, that is a euphemism, right?
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 9:46, archived)

No.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 10:53, archived)

Disturbingly close to my neck of the woods
there a some good vineyards around there though.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 11:33, archived)

*updates stalking spreadsheet*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 11:49, archived)

I have to get my wife to Holdham, and then Bangor as fast as I canzzz

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 12:08, archived)

THIS IS SOME TOP CONTENT MORE LIKE THIS PLS

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 16:19, archived)

evening

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 10 Nov 2025, 19:33, archived)

evening

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MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 19:53, archived)

no m8

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 20:44, archived)

Gunter Biden

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Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 20:48, archived)

Evening, night off from wife and dog, just watched blu-ray of Gravity in 3D with the lights off.
I know 3D died years ago, but that film alone is worth wearing the glasses if your eyes can cope
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 23:58, archived)

lol ass

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MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 11 Nov 2025, 2:21, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 10 Nov 2025, 13:11, archived)

yes

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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 13:59, archived)

no

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Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 14:07, archived)

maybe

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 14:18, archived)

He thanked Trump for "allowing me … to achieve your intent”.
"Thank you for letting me do as I'm told" is what freedom sounds like, right?
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 14:50, archived)

https://b3ta.com/talk/8461473

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CowJam, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 15:00, archived)

Seldom

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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 15:11, archived)

Which actor blessed the band who blessed the rains down in Africa?
Benicio del Toto
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 15:59, archived)

Watched Oliver Twist's JFK last night. It was lacking something.

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 16:28, archived)

Watched Brett Anderson's The Grand Budapest last night. It was lacking something

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 17:47, archived)

I met him once
You might want to sit down for this, because it's pretty shocking and I don't want to be responsible for any injuries sustained whilst you attempt to process this incredible revelation. He was, be careful now, here comes the 'big reveal'...a total fucking knob.
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 18:16, archived)

well you've certainly swayed ['Suede'] my opinion of him!!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 18:24, archived)

Haha, I get this joke!!!

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 18:53, archived)

Oh for sure
I too have met him a few times. But that is a story for another time
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 19:00, archived)

My Dork Star

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 19:11, archived)

The Downsers

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 19:13, archived)

Watched The Gr nd Buda last night. It was lacking something
                      ^sex

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 19:19, archived)

Which actor uses a pen with the pigment suspended in a thick viscous fluid to draw a Z on his defeated foes?
Benicio Gel Zorro
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Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 17:05, archived)

Which Welsh actor fell through the bar, causing Trigger to do a face?
Benicio del Boyo
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 17:35, archived)

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 17:37, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8461417
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Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 17:54, archived)

who's asking?

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MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 18:58, archived)

HIYA

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 19:15, archived)

fuck off you retard

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 19:16, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 10 Nov 2025, 7:05, archived)

sympathy morning

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Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 8:08, archived)

808

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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 10:06, archived)

Watched Benicio Del Toro's Frankenstein last night. It was mediocre.
Morning.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 8:57, archived)

He should definitely stick to acting rather than directing

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 9:17, archived)

It was Guilermo, not Benicio wasn't it.

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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 9:32, archived)

Guillermo del Toro's Frank-N-Furter

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 10:02, archived)

Watched Coleen Nolan's Oppenheimer last night. It was tuneful.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 9:23, archived)

I'm in the Mood for Nuking

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Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 9:58, archived)

COINCIDENCE???!? WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!!1!111!!!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 10:06, archived)

Watched Zack Polanski's Macbeth last night. It was delusional.

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 11:14, archived)

Watched Paul Gadd's Baby Reindeer last night. It was unsettling.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 11:23, archived)

Watched Barry Scott's Alien last night. It was banging!

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Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 12:01, archived)

Watched David Cameron's Aliens last night. It was conservative.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 12:15, archived)

Watched Tim Allen's Manhattan last night. There was room for improvement

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Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 12:30, archived)

Watched Susan Boyle’s Trainspotting last night. It was a moving exploration of the highs and lows of a Scottish Heroine.

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Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 12:46, archived)

guillermo del benicio
yeah it was overlong, over designed and underwhelming
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 9:43, archived)

but enough about garold’s posts

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Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 9:52, archived)

~~ost~~ eni
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 9:52, archived)

Watched Black Phone 2
Meh
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 10:41, archived)

I watched Black Phone recently in case it was interesting enough to watch 2
It wasn't.
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CowJam, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 10:51, archived)

I thought the first was alright

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 11:04, archived)

Watched Michael Jackson's Lord Of The Rings last night. It was bad

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Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 11:59, archived)

Watched Susan Boyle's Shallow Grave last night. It wasn't deep enough.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 12:31, archived)

... BECAUSE SHE WAS FAT LOL

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 14:48, archived)

Therefore the grave was too shallow, because she was still sticking out of the ground

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 15:03, archived)

Due to her size, right?

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 15:21, archived)

That wouldn't have helped, but also after death gas can accumulate in the bowel and abdominal cavity and this can increase as decomposition progresses leading to abdominal distension

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Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 15:32, archived)

Yes, this is what I was going for.
Thank you for helping me to explain my joke.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 16:00, archived)

So it's basically a fart joke! Thanks for explaining!

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 17:29, archived)

I woke up at 4am needing a piss,
thought I should get a morning thread in before you but then couldn't be arsed.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 10:50, archived)

I think I get up about 3 times a night for a piss
Think it’s cancer?
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 11:36, archived)

my average is two
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theniwokeup has been awake since, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 12:41, archived)

piss isn't countable is it? if you throw piss on someone, it's how much, not how many, right? or have i been doing it wrong?

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 17:35, archived)

You should have prioritised posting on here and wet the bed while doing so,
that's what the rest of us do.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 11:48, archived)

alright

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CowJam, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 10:52, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 10 Nov 2025, 13:10, archived)

As today is November 10th which is Anthonyb3ta70100's birthday I would like to be the first to wish a very Happy birthday to Anthonyb3ta70100 today on November 10th which is his birthday!
Happy birthday Anthonyb3ta70100! I hope you have a wonderful birthday on November 10th which is today which is your birthday!
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Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 0:09, archived)

As today is November 10th which is Anthonyb3ta70100's birthday I would like to be the second to wish a very Happy birthday to Anthonyb3ta70100 today on November 10th which is his birthday!
Happy birthday Anthonyb3ta70100! I hope you have a wonderful birthday on November 10th which is today which is your birthday!
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 0:42, archived)

As today is November 10th which is Anthonyb3ta70100's birthday I would like to be the third to wish a very Happy birthday to Anthonyb3ta70100 today on November 10th which is his birthday!
Happy birthday Anthonyb3ta70100! I hope you have a wonderful birthday on November 10th which is today which is your birthday!
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MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 6:38, archived)

I bet he got a space hopper

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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 16:24, archived)

~~ace ho~~ eed-filled ja
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 16:26, archived)

COCKSHIT

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 14:57, archived)

HELMGUFFS

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Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 15:06, archived)

Baby

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mongychops, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 15:21, archived)

One more time

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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 16:12, archived)

I never understood what was so bad about her conservatory

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 16:19, archived)

Footings were shit

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mongychops, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 16:22, archived)

It prevented her from throwing stones

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 16:31, archived)

It was north facing

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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 17:49, archived)

It was full of toxic mould

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Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 17:55, archived)

No planning permission

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 9 Nov 2025, 18:50, archived)

Pub toilet had a shit on the closed loo seat
Lifted it and took a shit on the horseshoe seat
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 9 Nov 2025, 18:52, archived)

shittily toilet

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 2:21, archived)

mng

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MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 7:17, archived)

Mong-ring

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 9 Nov 2025, 7:30, archived)

Morning

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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 8:07, archived)

Cunt

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 9:39, archived)

I am stood freezing in a Remembrance Sunday march thing.
Fucking wankers
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 10:32, archived)

morning, just got back from painting flags on roundabouts
#neverforget
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Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 11:06, archived)

Did you stop to shout at a hotel on the way home?

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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 11:41, archived)

of course

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Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 11:54, archived)

I DEMAND IMMEDIATE ROOM SERVICE

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 13:26, archived)

WHERE’S MY FUCKING TROUSER PRESS !?

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Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 13:37, archived)

THIS IRON IS STONE COLD

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MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 14:13, archived)

{amusing joke about my grandfather dying in the war, while being deliberately unclear about which side he was on}

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 11:38, archived)

I’m guessing Roundheads.

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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 13:17, archived)

-heads +abouts

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 13:25, archived)

Such a Cavalier attitude to a serious subject

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Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 13:35, archived)

get out

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MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 14:15, archived)

IBYAYDOB

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 9 Nov 2025, 14:50, archived)

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