b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 10704318 (Thread)

# Allo. What should I draw the'day?

(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:00, archived)
# I want to Maguro!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:02, archived)
# Hey Moggy! What does this say?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:13, archived)
# Thank you ^^
Maguro
1. fish
2. The person can not get orgasm.
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:13, archived)
# It says thank you? o_o
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:14, archived)
# I said for the pict
日本人の女性が大好き
I love Japanese women
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:18, archived)
# Ahh, great ^^
So my T-shirt doesn't say something like "PURPLE WOMAN GRAPEFRUIT UTENSIL".
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:25, archived)
# Yes, it does
but only in remote regions of Northern China
(I helped save b3ta! blyerkit e k trilby, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:29, archived)
# I have a friend who lives in Tokyo
He was greatly amused by a shirt I was wearing that said something stupid in Kanji. I did point out that there are plenty of engrish fails.

e.g.

(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:35, archived)
# I guess the guy who made this hat hasn't got the chist of English.
I think there were other T-shirts like that one up there, that said things like "I'M BIG IN JAPAN" in kanji, stuff like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:37, archived)
# Mine said something random like
TOKYO HANDBAG UNDERPANT LEMONADE. Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:51, archived)
# Hahaha! What did you think it said?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:57, archived)
# It was one of those non branded shirts that have a logo on from George at ASDA or something.
I never really thought about what it said. My mate thought it was very funny, mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:00, archived)
# Ahh, right. Makes you wonder what the makers of the T-shirt intended it to say.
Or maybe they got it spot on, you never can tell.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:04, archived)
# But it does apparently say the wearer can't get it up?
And you're happy with that?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:05, archived)
# *cough*
b3ta.com/board/10704355
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:06, archived)
# Oh right,
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:29, archived)
# Waste of time ladder. Satanic sideways k. Divining.
Unconvential e. Conjoined Y and L.
Midget by barstool. Surprised by left hook.
Blair witch. YL punched by big-nosed bully. Smug speccy twat.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:22, archived)
# *takes notes*
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:25, archived)
# ?
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:26, archived)
# This is what I think the Japanese writing looks like
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:37, archived)
# I see.
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:43, archived)
# You drank coffee again...haven't you?!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:15, archived)
# Something about a girl.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:05, archived)
# It says:
"James Corden is a plick"
(I helped save b3ta! P-MONKE We're all fucked, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:32, archived)
# Furious piglets.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Johnson, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:04, archived)
# This.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:04, archived)
# with tits
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:18, archived)
# An bicuspid canine covered in coffee bicycling to Coventry.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:04, archived)
# sausage justice
(benito vaselini no not that one, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:05, archived)
# martians playing golf on mars, only to find a mars rover has ruined their game
that or a Fallout3 thing - Pip as the Vault dweller and Leonard as the dog from the scrapyard who's name I cant remember Dogmeat (cheers, BHW!)
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:06, archived)
# Dogmeat
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:09, archived)
# Bruce Forsyth
being attacked by dancing ninja squirrels
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:10, archived)
# Five furious fish fingers fighting fifteen formidably fanged frogs.
With tits.
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:14, archived)
# Those idiot irish twins have acquired a taste for lady spluff... and old ladies.

They have broken into a care home late at night and have located an old biddy suffering terribly with Parkinson's disease. They quickly and lovingly undress each other, revealing ridiculous pubic quiffs, and gently suck each other hard knowing this will excite the old dear and set her shaking like horse and trap on a cobbled road.

First, they both lube up their hands and cocks with swarfega. Next, they quite simply manoeuvre themselves into position either side of the sweet old lady and and help her curl her fingers around their throbbing shafts. The ancient crone's neurological condition does the rest as she shakes and vibrates to the beat created by her dopaminergic troubles and soon the boys are ready to empty their sacks, which they both do with their trademark gleeful relish, their quiffs all of a quiver.

Now it's her turn, and very gently and with great care they help her out of her knickerbockers and sit her down in a reclining chair. Once they're sure she is comfortable, the really stupid one gets down and starts giving the old dear a couple of fingers whilst the incredibly stupid one holds his quiff aside and starts lapping at her surprisingly swollen clit. This could take a while but they are patient and maintain their discipline, fingers and toungues maintaining a rhythm they could never achieve in their "singing". Finally, the woman starts to writhe and moan and so they increase the pace until, suddenly, her back arches and her arthritic toes curl and she comes like a water cannon; old lady squirt spraying this way and that as she completely loses control of her body. The twins and indeed the whole room is dripping with 30 years of bottled up cumsplash with a stench akin to old bacon.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:14, archived)
# ... with tits.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:16, archived)
# ^ What she said!
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:22, archived)
# Your recent efforts
forced me to up my game
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:30, archived)
# :D
Your game's not the only thing that's been 'upped', after reading this
Eh? EH?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:38, archived)
# Lovely. Bacon seems to be a theme today.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:17, archived)
# It's a bacon type of day
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:22, archived)
# *applauds*
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:17, archived)
# You are Alastair Campbell
AICMFP
(I helped save b3ta! Skotzmun Blah blah secret passage blah blah diamonds., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:18, archived)
# to clarify: "the really stupid one"?
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:56, archived)
# Yes, one is more stupid than the other
there's the really stupid one and the incredibly stupid one
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:00, archived)
# I realised that from the context, but surely if either one was even one IQ point lower, they would forget how to breathe and die horribly whilst the other mewled pitifully whilst defiling his brother's bloated blue corpse..
Which would of course be tragic.
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:12, archived)
# Tragic indeed
we must hope it never happens
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:51, archived)
# OK NOW I NEED A WANK NOW OK
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:01, archived)
# I ahve nothing more to add
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:35, archived)
# I choked on my bacon.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)
# A child holds a bacon butty at the side of the road, apropos of nothing, he stares vacantly down the street as tomato ketchup drips onto the tarmac.
Suddenly, a large black limousine rolls along the road and pulls up alongside the boy, who gazes nonplussed at his reflection in the smoked glass window.

The window rolls down revealing a group of rich city bankers, who lean out of the window, braying at the child and spraying champagne everywhere. Shocked, the child drops his delicious bacon sandwich into the oily silt by the kerb. The 5 second rule cannot apply here, the sandwich is ruined. A single tear runs from the boy's eye as the snorting whooping poshos collapse laughing onto luxurious leather upholstery, their task complete.

Before they can wind up the window, the boy's mother has appeared at the gate, carrying an early model Dyson 04 vacuum, in scratched but serviceable grey and yellow. She is very attractive, housework has left a sheen of sweat on her heaving, perfectly formed bosom. The bankers resume their braying, coupled with sexual retorts and a shower of crumpled, low denomination English bank-notes.
Incensed, the woman steps forward, raising the Dyson and driving it through the head of the nearest posho with explosive force. The others recoil in horror, but too late; the bloodied Dyson pounds in through the limousine window repeatedly and remorselessly until every banker is a broken, bloodied mess.
At this point, the chauffeur steps out of the car. It is the woman's husband. He gently sets down the Dyson and takes his wife and son into the house, where they all have bacon sandwiches, then the boy watches back to back episodes of Tracey Beaker on CBBC, whilst his parents have passionate sex on the bonnet of the limousine to the cheers of their neighbours.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:15, archived)
# You guys should really publish this stuff in a book.
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:16, archived)
# Only if you're prepared to illustrate every tale.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:22, archived)
# I'd buy it
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:57, archived)
# Maybe we need to collect them in a blog or something first, gauge the mood
as it were.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:02, archived)
# I suggested something like this to 4dam,
back when we first started doing this sort of thing.

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:02, archived)
# I'll do the cover :D
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:13, archived)
# ^ That
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:24, archived)
# *wipes away a tear*
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:20, archived)
#
a tear Jiz
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:25, archived)
# Ketchup on a bacon butty? Heresey
Brown sauce or nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:23, archived)
# Yeah, but kids like ketchup on bacon butties.
It works in context, trust me.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:49, archived)
# It's what brown sauce was invented for!
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:53, archived)
# Well, that beats my furious piglets.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Johnson, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:28, archived)
# Beats my idea of a man slamming his balls with a banjo too.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:47, archived)
# I don't see why those can't be intricate subplots when this gets made into a film.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:15, archived)
# The main antagonist has a string instrument fetish
so he rests his bollocks on a table and smacks them as hard as he can with a banjo, guitar, whatever he can find.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:26, archived)
# Now I want a bacon sandwich.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:57, archived)
# a ship in a dip being attacked by a chip
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:16, archived)
# something to do with playboy bunny girls
Seeing as i was hanging out with a lady friend in a bunny outfit all of saturday :-D
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:19, archived)
# Like this?

banjo-on-the-cliff.deviantart.com/art/Bunny-Girl-284071209
↑ original
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:23, archived)
# Not so much bunny magician - just bunny girl, like the Playboy ones :-)
It was actually a cosplay of Mikuru Asahina from that Haruhi anime, if you know it.
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:31, archived)
# I think cute Mikuru too ^^
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:35, archived)
# Sorry, but I'm not sure what I'm looking at here...
It might just be my misinterpretation, but it appears as a young lady (or girl from the classic manga face/eye size ratio), with tits and a bunny girl tail and rabbit ears. So far so yiff, but WTF is with the rope burns?

There seems to be a deepening tone of sadomasochistic imagery in your recent pictures, which is fine if consensual, but disturbing to me when linked to presexual teens (and the addition of comedy tail and ears do not ameliorate this IMO)

Just my $0.02
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:09, archived)
# I thought those were stitches
I think it's meant to be a doll. What I don't understand is "Good Bye old brains!"
(I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:29, archived)
# It's meant to be a zombie rabbit, so it's sort of Frankenstein'd.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:30, archived)
# Answer is "No"
the old brain is bad taste for her.
she always want to fresh brains. :D
It seems "Nightmare before chistmas"'s Sally.
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:23, archived)
# rope burns? presexual teens?
calm doon pal!
(I helped save b3ta! Clueless Egg Cunt ...of course i'm beach ready!, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:51, archived)
# interesting read on that link...ha ha...o/
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:22, archived)
# hahaha
my brain hurts now
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐŹ‡Ęš’ ŹžÉ”nā„² uooW, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:49, archived)
# dA in small doses.
It will kill you.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:58, archived)
# I fixed. :D
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:08, archived)
# FUCK! You can't do that!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 17:14, archived)
# Was she hanging out as well?
Phwoar, etc.


Some photographs would help us picture the scene.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:24, archived)
# this

with tits
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:21, archived)
# Nicholas Parsons
arguing with his neighbour about the size of his conifer tree. The neighbour agrees to lop the conifer if Parsons pays half.

With tits
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:30, archived)
# RDLI HAKKIS playing the piano with a giant dildo.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:33, archived)
# The swedish crown princess with her new half man half lizard offspring
(macroscian (1 like), Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:34, archived)
# A man twatting himself in the bollocks with a banjo.
EDIT: Again, if this isn't picked, I'll try and do it myself. Draw it, that is, not actually maim myself with a string instrument.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:36, archived)
# Ha ha ha
Please be this.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:43, archived)
# Ha Ha!!!...YES!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:38, archived)
# Warm snooker.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:41, archived)
# Illustrate for us
The sorrowful feeling you get when you go to reach for a glass/mug/etc. to take a sip of your drink, only to find you've already drank it all.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:45, archived)
# The 'last beer in Hell' feeling.........................I know it well.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:28, archived)
# It's a heart-stopper.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:46, archived)
# Daniel Craig swinging a giant teabag as some kind of Olympic event
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:56, archived)
# Or is it a stocky Vladimir Putin? Can't quite tell.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:58, archived)
# Nothing
Take the day off
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:58, archived)
# A bath.
A sexy girl in a bath.
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath.
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath with a banjo.
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath with a banjo on a cliff.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:00, archived)
# You're bloody obsessed you are.
Hey, did you talk to that newspaper woman?
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:03, archived)
# eh?
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:05, archived)
# I've gazzed you about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:20, archived)
# ah.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:27, archived)
# With tits
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:04, archived)
# Tits on boobs!
Best idea ever!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:17, archived)
# The national lottery
with tits.
(I helped save b3ta! Tusk knows where you live, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:12, archived)
# Mister would you please help my pony
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐŹ‡Ęš’ ŹžÉ”nā„² uooW, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:44, archived)
# I think it's his lung
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:50, archived)
# he coughed up snot in the drive way :)
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐŹ‡Ęš’ ŹžÉ”nā„² uooW, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
# Jokes are better than technique.
Please fucking get the hint.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:54, archived)
#
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:01, archived)
# I'm huge in Japan.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 17:30, archived)