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# Newsletter subject line compo
Girls & blokes
let's hear your (original and not nicked off twitter) jokes
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:42, archived)
# Edmunds and Chegwin spitroast roadshow, exclusive photos
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:43, archived)
# lol McAfee trial 30 days lol
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:43, archived)
# lock 'em up
the lot of 'em
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05, archived)
# Ahahahahahaha!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:16, archived)
# Twitter in my shitter.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:44, archived)
# Just to set the record straight, we think Lord McAlpine is a *fantastic' builder
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:45, archived)
# Show me on the goofy doll where Mickey touched you


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:45, archived)
# Bloke walks into a bar...
Buys a pint, and then runs out suspiciously as he got served in less than ten minutes.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:47, archived)
# lower than a PCC vote turnout
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:47, archived)
# you can make a cake with just eggs and Nutella
sorry, not a joke, just very important information
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:48, archived)
# EXPLAIN
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:49, archived)
#
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:55, archived)
# ooh thanks

I'll be reading this instead of the newsletter
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:37, archived)
# no, but my chocolate omlette is Braw!
but my chocolate omlette is Braw!What are you having for lunch?


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:51, archived)
# chicken salad sandwich i made for mrs thor yesterday, because i forgot they were having pizza in the office yesterday
some asda wotsit clones and a slice of my home made panattone.

and tea.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:56, archived)
# 8/10
a well balanced lunch

Have chocolate with that


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05, archived)
# Ah,
i've missed this lunchtime judging.

'ningles dave, hope you and TLH are well.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:11, archived)
# Brawtastic, Sah!
Sah!*raids Italio-cellar*


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:20, archived)
# Home Made
Lentil and Bacon Soup
And home made Tiger Bread
Then I shall go to the pub and have BEER
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:58, archived)
# 9/10
any lunch that involves beer is Braw!



(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05, archived)
# Wooooooooooooooo ! Cheers Dave !
It's RealBeer too - Brewed in a microbrewery in a small shed behind the pub.
If I get peckish I might have to have one of the pubs home made pasties or pork pies - accompanied by some of my home made pear, lime and chilli jelly.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:15, archived)
# *swoons*
11/10


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:19, archived)
# I miss British pubs :(
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:20, archived)
# Why?
Where are you? I'll get NATO to parachute one in!


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:25, archived)
# Norway which is, alas, a NATO member
Norwegian pubs don't like food very much. Though they do sell Golden Wonder which came as a surprise to me since I thought Golden Wonder had gone bust a long time back.

On the plus side there are quite a few microbreweries around who sell sterling beer for the princely sum of about £9 a pint.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:28, archived)
# i remember going over to norway about 10 year ago and we found an irish pub that sold it in pints
as all the other places we went to seemed to be these wacky europen measure.

it was about £10 a pint at that time as well.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:38, archived)
# hmm i've never even checked that
i might have to go to a couple of irish pubs over the weekend and see what they serve me in. half the places i go to now seem to be serving me 40cl, which is just stupid, even if they do have arcade machines embedded in their tables.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:41, archived)
# i was in stavanger, so i know there was one there 10 years ago
it was lovely having a proper pint rather then drinking something that was like drinking a half.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:46, archived)
# I can think of two in the centre of Oslo without even trying
There's probably more like four or five within spitting distance. Me, I think that proves that pints are the perfect size.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:04, archived)
# I've been to Norway once
thankfully with an expense account
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:40, archived)
# It's an expensive place to drink
I was in a bar with a colleague the other week and said "Tell you what, I'll buy us a whiskey each!", glibly ordered two Ardbegs and paid about £28.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:42, archived)
# I was paying for a colleague as well
I had the reindeer steak and a bottle of red in the 5* hotel and he went for a burger. Silly choice really. a bottle of wine and a few beers later and it cost about £250
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:45, archived)
# What else are expenses accounts for?
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:05, archived)
# some leftover pasta bolognese smothered in parmesan
which I had at 10:50
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:59, archived)
# 9/10 a perfect time for lunch
it gives you time to squeeze in an extra meal before tea


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:06, archived)
# perfect!
I shall call it post meridian muncheon
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08, archived)
# needs a hyphen


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:20, archived)
# po-st mer-idian munch-eon?
but that's silly?
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:22, archived)
# yes, yes it is
yes it isI said 'a' hyphen not forty-fecking-three!


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:24, archived)
# I bought a job lot on e-bay
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:42, archived)
# Beans on toast
and a mug of tea
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:59, archived)
# Why can't you spell
Toats ?
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:02, archived)
# Dylsexier
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05, archived)
# 3/10
Tsk! You'll starve


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:06, archived)
# I had a pint of Becks Vier
and an ogle
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:36, archived)
# Good enough for you
C]:0)


(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:39, archived)
# not technically a cake
and as i don't eat chocolate i can get it down to one ingredient.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:58, archived)
# [Mod Edit]
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:49, archived)
# *clicks*
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:50, archived)
# it was damn funny too
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:52, archived)
# *posts about it on my one man clique mytwitface page*
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08, archived)
#
i think thats the funniest thing i've ever read
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:56, archived)
# has anyone got a 9V battery for my Sarcasm meter?
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:58, archived)
# You can take one from my device. I don't think I'll use it again...

(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:33, archived)
# Cor, a wanking claw
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:34, archived)
# It's grip was firmer than expected.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:34, archived)
# So not so much a wanking claw as a relentless milking claw
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:36, archived)
# >.<
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:35, archived)
# Or, if you prefer, take one from this...
if you prefer take one from this...
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:43, archived)
# well at least I can tell these batteries are working
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:46, archived)
# FUCCKKK!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:39, archived)
# ah jesus
that's dark gold
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:40, archived)
# ( °_° )
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:23, archived)
# Exclusive interview with aung san suu kyi on how DLT abused her over the airwaves.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:51, archived)
# 80-87% prefer reading it to voting for a PCC
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:52, archived)
# "About as substantial as Jahled's threats of violence"
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:52, archived)
# WINNAR!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:54, archived)
#

(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:01, archived)
# pfft
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:02, archived)
# hiya!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05, archived)
# Release the hounds.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08, archived)
# GASP
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13, archived)
# excellent!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:19, archived)
# 185,000 pence of B3ta subscriptions go to Rob in damages after allegations that he fingers children
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:54, archived)
# If you listen inside a shoe you can hear the tube
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:54, archived)
# Awaiting Gervais and Corden to be done on BBC nonce charges
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:55, archived)
# now legal in two US states!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:56, archived)
# taken from the secret emails of David Petraeus
ok I'll stop now
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:58, archived)
# mysqldump: Got error: 2013: Lost connection to MySQL server during query when doing refresh
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:59, archived)
# contains pics of some soap opera bird in a bikini under a waterfall
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:00, archived)
#
bird bint
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:00, archived)
# with bad skin.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:40, archived)
# I've a lotion for that
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:41, archived)
# and her annoying 'ermargerd' squealy voice
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:51, archived)
# definately something to sort that out
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:57, archived)
# What did Jesus say as he sucked Satan's cock? Mmmf-mmmf-mmmf.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:00, archived)
# What did Satan say as Jesus was sucking his cock? "Oh, Jesus, yes!"
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:01, archived)
# We were chewing ostrich anuses before it was cool
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:00, archived)
# Hahaha
I clearly have missed something in the news this week
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:02, archived)
# 'news' would be a stretch
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:04, archived)
# Hahaha
Headline of the decade!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:09, archived)
# her entire career has been leading to this
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:12, archived)
# i thought an unsafe GIS for dorries anus
would be more illuminating :(
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 18:40, archived)
# make us laugh.......lets hear one of yours
(no nicking now :)
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:01, archived)
# more interesting than the Chortle Digest
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05, archived)
# Jimmy Young touched my 'wee wee'
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:07, archived)
# Pudsey touched me.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08, archived)
# Well, at least Dave Benson Phillips isnt a nonce
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08, archived)
# contains Ian Krankie masterclass on law evasion
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:10, archived)
# Dave Lee Travis, sitting in a tree, N-O-N-C-I-N-G
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:11, archived)
# justin lee collins, sitting in a tree, harassing his ex-girlfriend I-N-G
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:15, archived)
# Justin Lee Collins, fucking a tree
The filthy cunt
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:19, archived)
# All news via B3TA towers - Switzerland, for tax reasons.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:12, archived)
# FIX THE SEARCH!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13, archived)
# ignore 2.0 is shit.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:14, archived)
# Never used it...never will.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:17, archived)
# poking at the internet with a shitty stick, so you don't have to
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13, archived)
# Voters apathetic as Police Commissioners denied access to bat signal
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13, archived)
# B3ta search staying broke until Google pay their taxes
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13, archived)
# B3ta is non-profit, but it's the #5 puerile internet community in the world.
With 450 million monthly threats, we have costs like any top site: servers, power, rent, programs, staff and libel cases. To protect our asses, we'll never run ads. We suck no government cock. We run on donations: $1 is the most common, the average is about $1.

If everyone reading this gave $1, our fundraiser would be in the Maldives within an hour. Please help us forget the rain and the wind and get back to blow jobs on the beach.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:14, archived)
# ironically outing nonces
and ironically getting sued
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:16, archived)
# LINKS BOARD ROUND UP
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:16, archived)
# BECAUSE WE LOVE THE WEB - NOT NONCES
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:18, archived)
# TV WILL BE SHIT TONIGHT - HAVE SOME LINKS.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:19, archived)
# Chicken fingers paedo shocker
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:20, archived)
# Prescott elected holy roman emperor as apathy rules
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:22, archived)
# He'd have to do a Tony and pretend to convert to Papism
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:23, archived)
# I'm a child, Get this celebrity out of me!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:23, archived)
# hahaha
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:23, archived)
# This and This and This
^^^^^^^^^^

ON A T-SHIRT FFS
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:24, archived)
# hahahah this^
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:27, archived)
# :D genius
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:30, archived)
# ahahaha
WINNAR
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:33, archived)
# ah yes
that's the one
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:35, archived)
# TH-FUCKING-IS!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:36, archived)
# HA HA...WINNER!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:41, archived)
# Aewomse!
This one! :D
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:43, archived)
# hahahahahaha
that is fucking gold!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:44, archived)
# perfect
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:48, archived)
# Hahahaha
^this
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:51, archived)
# Bwa ha hahaaaaa
There goes another monitor...

Am I going to Hull now?
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:58, archived)
# I'm a celebrity...
...Let me fondle you!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:24, archived)
# i've heard a first hand story about the cornyhairflake
and happytoasts gif is not far from it.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:49, archived)
# NOW WITH MORE TALK!!!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:24, archived)
# ergh
that would be awful.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:26, archived)
# Jerry Sadowitz was right all along.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:26, archived)
# Internet 2.0 on your chest
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:27, archived)
# This week it's just a picture of an orange
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:28, archived)
# Get on with it you ginger love puppet
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:29, archived)
# [Mod Edit] touched my balls
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:47, archived)
# captain clatterbox approves this
(, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:56, archived)