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Girls & blokes let's hear your (original and not nicked off twitter) jokes
(
rob ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:42,
archived )
Edmunds and Chegwin spitroast roadshow, exclusive photos
(
HappyToast Groat froth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:43,
archived )
lol McAfee trial 30 days lol
(
Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:43,
archived )
lock 'em up
the lot of 'em
(
Elvis impersonator ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05,
archived )
Ahahahahahaha!
(
wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:16,
archived )
Twitter in my shitter.
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:44,
archived )
Just to set the record straight, we think Lord McAlpine is a *fantastic' builder
(
Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:45,
archived )
Show me on the goofy doll where Mickey touched you
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:45,
archived )
Bloke walks into a bar...
Buys a pint, and then runs out suspiciously as he got served in less than ten minutes.
(
Damien Hurts just forgot a really good idea ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:47,
archived )
lower than a PCC vote turnout
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:47,
archived )
you can make a cake with just eggs and Nutella
sorry, not a joke, just very important information
(
HappyToast Groat froth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:48,
archived )
EXPLAIN
(
Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:49,
archived )
(
HappyToast Groat froth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:55,
archived )
ooh thanks
I'll be reading this instead of the newsletter
(
Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:37,
archived )
no, but my chocolate omlette is Braw!
but my chocolate omlette is Braw!What are you having for lunch?
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:51,
archived )
chicken salad sandwich i made for mrs thor yesterday, because i forgot they were having pizza in the office yesterday
some asda wotsit clones and a slice of my home made panattone. and tea.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:56,
archived )
8/10
a well balanced lunch Have chocolate with that
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05,
archived )
Ah,
i've missed this lunchtime judging. 'ningles dave, hope you and TLH are well.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:11,
archived )
Brawtastic, Sah!
Sah!*raids Italio-cellar*
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:20,
archived )
Home Made
Lentil and Bacon Soup And home made Tiger Bread Then I shall go to the pub and have BEER
(
The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It ! ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:58,
archived )
Wooooooooooooooo ! Cheers Dave !
It's RealBeer too - Brewed in a microbrewery in a small shed behind the pub. If I get peckish I might have to have one of the pubs home made pasties or pork pies - accompanied by some of my home made pear, lime and chilli jelly.
(
The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It ! ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:15,
archived )
I miss British pubs :(
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:20,
archived )
Why?
Where are you? I'll get NATO to parachute one in!
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:25,
archived )
Norway which is, alas, a NATO member
Norwegian pubs don't like food very much. Though they do sell Golden Wonder which came as a surprise to me since I thought Golden Wonder had gone bust a long time back. On the plus side there are quite a few microbreweries around who sell sterling beer for the princely sum of about £9 a pint.
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:28,
archived )
i remember going over to norway about 10 year ago and we found an irish pub that sold it in pints
as all the other places we went to seemed to be these wacky europen measure. it was about £10 a pint at that time as well.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:38,
archived )
hmm i've never even checked that
i might have to go to a couple of irish pubs over the weekend and see what they serve me in. half the places i go to now seem to be serving me 40cl, which is just stupid, even if they do have arcade machines embedded in their tables.
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:41,
archived )
i was in stavanger, so i know there was one there 10 years ago
it was lovely having a proper pint rather then drinking something that was like drinking a half.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:46,
archived )
I can think of two in the centre of Oslo without even trying
There's probably more like four or five within spitting distance. Me, I think that proves that pints are the perfect size.
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:04,
archived )
I've been to Norway once
thankfully with an expense account
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:40,
archived )
It's an expensive place to drink
I was in a bar with a colleague the other week and said "Tell you what, I'll buy us a whiskey each!", glibly ordered two Ardbegs and paid about £28.
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:42,
archived )
I was paying for a colleague as well
I had the reindeer steak and a bottle of red in the 5* hotel and he went for a burger. Silly choice really. a bottle of wine and a few beers later and it cost about £250
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:45,
archived )
What else are expenses accounts for?
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:05,
archived )
some leftover pasta bolognese smothered in parmesan
which I had at 10:50
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:59,
archived )
9/10 a perfect time for lunch
it gives you time to squeeze in an extra meal before tea
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:06,
archived )
perfect!
I shall call it post meridian muncheon
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08,
archived )
po-st mer-idian munch-eon?
but that's silly?
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:22,
archived )
yes, yes it is
yes it isI said 'a' hyphen not forty-fecking-three!
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:24,
archived )
I bought a job lot on e-bay
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:42,
archived )
Beans on toast
and a mug of tea
(
HappyToast Groat froth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:59,
archived )
Why can't you spell
Toats ?
(
The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It ! ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:02,
archived )
Dylsexier
(
HappyToast Groat froth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05,
archived )
3/10
Tsk! You'll starve
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:06,
archived )
I had a pint of Becks Vier
and an ogle
(
Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:36,
archived )
Good enough for you
C]:0)
(
Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!? ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:39,
archived )
not technically a cake
and as i don't eat chocolate i can get it down to one ingredient.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:58,
archived )
[Mod Edit]
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:49,
archived )
*clicks*
(
hekim 66 ɐʇƐ𐐒 ʞɔnℲ uooW ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:50,
archived )
it was damn funny too
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:52,
archived )
*posts about it on my one man clique mytwitface page*
(
hekim 66 ɐʇƐ𐐒 ʞɔnℲ uooW ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08,
archived )
i think thats the funniest thing i've ever read
(
dirk speedrift Sit doon ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:56,
archived )
has anyone got a 9V battery for my Sarcasm meter?
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:58,
archived )
You can take one from my device. I don't think I'll use it again...
(
Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:33,
archived )
Cor, a wanking claw
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:34,
archived )
It's grip was firmer than expected.
(
Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:34,
archived )
So not so much a wanking claw as a relentless milking claw
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:36,
archived )
>.<
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:35,
archived )
Or, if you prefer, take one from this...
if you prefer take one from this...
(
Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:43,
archived )
well at least I can tell these batteries are working
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:46,
archived )
FUCCKKK!
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:39,
archived )
ah jesus
that's dark gold
(
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm) ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:40,
archived )
( °_° )
(
Smallbrainfield ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:23,
archived )
Exclusive interview with aung san suu kyi on how DLT abused her over the airwaves.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:51,
archived )
80-87% prefer reading it to voting for a PCC
(
EvilTerran rearranged his letters on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:52,
archived )
"About as substantial as Jahled's threats of violence"
(
Frisbee OG wanker ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:52,
archived )
WINNAR!
(
RedStar returneth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:54,
archived )
(
Jahled Three shades of black ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:01,
archived )
pfft
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:02,
archived )
hiya!
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05,
archived )
Release the hounds.
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08,
archived )
GASP
(
RedStar returneth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13,
archived )
excellent!
(
wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:19,
archived )
185,000 pence of B3ta subscriptions go to Rob in damages after allegations that he fingers children
(
RedStar returneth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:54,
archived )
If you listen inside a shoe you can hear the tube
(
robneymcplum spiced up his life on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:54,
archived )
Awaiting Gervais and Corden to be done on BBC nonce charges
(
robneymcplum spiced up his life on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:55,
archived )
now legal in two US states!
(
EvilTerran rearranged his letters on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:56,
archived )
taken from the secret emails of David Petraeus
ok I'll stop now
(
EvilTerran rearranged his letters on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:58,
archived )
mysqldump: Got error: 2013: Lost connection to MySQL server during query when doing refresh
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:59,
archived )
contains pics of some soap opera bird in a bikini under a waterfall
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:00,
archived )
bird bint
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:00,
archived )
with bad skin.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:40,
archived )
I've a lotion for that
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:41,
archived )
and her annoying 'ermargerd' squealy voice
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:51,
archived )
definately something to sort that out
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:57,
archived )
What did Jesus say as he sucked Satan's cock? Mmmf-mmmf-mmmf.
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:00,
archived )
What did Satan say as Jesus was sucking his cock? "Oh, Jesus, yes!"
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:01,
archived )
We were chewing ostrich anuses before it was cool
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:00,
archived )
Hahaha
I clearly have missed something in the news this week
(
Jahled Three shades of black ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:02,
archived )
'news' would be a stretch
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:04,
archived )
Hahaha
Headline of the decade!
(
Jahled Three shades of black ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:09,
archived )
her entire career has been leading to this
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:12,
archived )
i thought an unsafe GIS for dorries anus
would be more illuminating :(
(
maggenspies mayhaps ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 18:40,
archived )
make us laugh.......lets hear one of yours
(no nicking now :)
(
Elvis impersonator ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:01,
archived )
more interesting than the Chortle Digest
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:05,
archived )
Jimmy Young touched my 'wee wee'
(
Ninj ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:07,
archived )
Pudsey touched me.
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08,
archived )
Well, at least Dave Benson Phillips isnt a nonce
(
taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:08,
archived )
contains Ian Krankie masterclass on law evasion
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:10,
archived )
Dave Lee Travis, sitting in a tree, N-O-N-C-I-N-G
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:11,
archived )
justin lee collins, sitting in a tree, harassing his ex-girlfriend I-N-G
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:15,
archived )
Justin Lee Collins, fucking a tree
The filthy cunt
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:19,
archived )
All news via B3TA towers - Switzerland, for tax reasons.
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:12,
archived )
FIX THE SEARCH!
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13,
archived )
ignore 2.0 is shit.
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:14,
archived )
Never used it...never will.
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:17,
archived )
poking at the internet with a shitty stick, so you don't have to
(
HappyToast Groat froth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13,
archived )
Voters apathetic as Police Commissioners denied access to bat signal
(
benito vaselini no not that one ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13,
archived )
B3ta search staying broke until Google pay their taxes
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:13,
archived )
B3ta is non-profit, but it's the #5 puerile internet community in the world.
With 450 million monthly threats, we have costs like any top site: servers, power, rent, programs, staff and libel cases. To protect our asses, we'll never run ads. We suck no government cock. We run on donations: $1 is the most common, the average is about $1. If everyone reading this gave $1, our fundraiser would be in the Maldives within an hour. Please help us forget the rain and the wind and get back to blow jobs on the beach.
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:14,
archived )
ironically outing nonces
and ironically getting sued
(
HappyToast Groat froth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:16,
archived )
LINKS BOARD ROUND UP
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:16,
archived )
BECAUSE WE LOVE THE WEB - NOT NONCES
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:18,
archived )
TV WILL BE SHIT TONIGHT - HAVE SOME LINKS.
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:19,
archived )
Chicken fingers paedo shocker
(
MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:20,
archived )
Prescott elected holy roman emperor as apathy rules
(
benito vaselini no not that one ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:22,
archived )
He'd have to do a Tony and pretend to convert to Papism
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:23,
archived )
I'm a child, Get this celebrity out of me!
(
Victor Meldrew ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:23,
archived )
hahaha
(
boris the spider ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:23,
archived )
This and This and This
^^^^^^^^^^ ON A T-SHIRT FFS
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:24,
archived )
hahahah this^
(
Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:27,
archived )
:D genius
(
HappyToast Groat froth ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:30,
archived )
ahahaha
WINNAR
(
Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:33,
archived )
ah yes
that's the one
(
Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:35,
archived )
TH-FUCKING-IS!
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:36,
archived )
HA HA...WINNER!
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:41,
archived )
Aewomse!
This one! :D
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic..." ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:43,
archived )
hahahahahaha
that is fucking gold!
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:44,
archived )
perfect
(
dirk speedrift Sit doon ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:48,
archived )
Hahahaha
^this
(
Jahled Three shades of black ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:51,
archived )
Bwa ha hahaaaaa
There goes another monitor...Am I going to Hull now?
(
loonybean giving as good as he gets since ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:58,
archived )
I'm a celebrity...
...Let me fondle you!
(
Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:24,
archived )
i've heard a first hand story about the cornyhairflake
and happytoasts gif is not far from it.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:49,
archived )
NOW WITH MORE TALK!!!
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:24,
archived )
ergh
that would be awful.
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:26,
archived )
Jerry Sadowitz was right all along.
(
waxdart hello. ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:26,
archived )
Internet 2.0 on your chest
(
gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:27,
archived )
This week it's just a picture of an orange
(
gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:28,
archived )
Get on with it you ginger love puppet
(
claptonista ,the idiot boy..........🫥 ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:29,
archived )
[Mod Edit] touched my balls
(
dirk speedrift Sit doon ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:47,
archived )
captain clatterbox approves this
(
robneymcplum spiced up his life on ,
Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:56,
archived )
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