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# everybody learns the code for the thing with the doing computers



Newsnight Director of code lols
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:42, archived)
# a graphics :-D
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:45, archived)
# you dun a graphics with the codes!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:46, archived)
# *mashes ham fists at code*
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:49, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/11055284
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:55, archived)
# although:
in one day a teacher can be taught the codes to teach.

Well - at least that's the vibe I got from the news night interview.

But, yeah - she is astoundingly pretty so what's the big deal?

EDIT: It's definitely got to be that as they're on about primary school. They're not going to fire all the existing teachers for ones with a background in IT... I see a very web 1.0 future for our nations youth.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:52, archived)
# perfect
:D

But, again, I say she's clearly a very attractive woman so I don't know what everyone is making a fuss about.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:49, archived)
# would
(I helped save b3ta! Van Da Graph is sufferng wth an intermttent 'i' key, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:49, archived)
# wow, a real-life Jen :-D
(I helped save b3ta! revolution now ๐Ÿ‘Š, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:53, archived)
# ^
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:59, archived)
# teh codez is easy
hackertyper.com/ hit f11 and bash away to impress your friends and win government contracts
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:56, archived)
# that's good fun :D
(I helped save b3ta! lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm), Fri 7 Feb 2014, 12:59, archived)
# Heheh
It's her web dev team I feel sorry for. They should replace yearofcode.org with a goatse.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:02, archived)
# .
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:13, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Mousing, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:15, archived)
# Hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:21, archived)
# superb
fake it til ya make it baby
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:41, archived)
# Sums it up perfectly
(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:10, archived)
# only just noticed "telephone me on [email protected]"
so I've now had two big laughs off of the one picture - bargain.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:48, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 0:04, archived)
# Christ, what a website
What a group of people.

Cristiana Camisotti - Co-founder, Silicon Milkroundabout

Rohan Silva - Entrepreneur in Residence, Index Ventures.

Suli Breaks - Poet
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:20, archived)
#
"Entrepreneur in Residence"

Does that mean someone whose business keep failing and who sits on their sofa all day eating Pot Noodles?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:31, archived)
# I think it's a euphamism
for 'chief tosser'.
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:40, archived)
# Must have watched the video with Lottie Dexter too
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:41, archived)
# Yes
With the addition that those pot noodles are more like fine brandy and kobe beef.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:41, archived)
# I once knew a guy who described himself as a "serial entrepreneur"
He leeched off his wealthy parents and wealthy brothers and was filled with a breathtaking sense of his own brilliance at running three failed companies (one of which was investigated for fraud).

This guy was a total cock. Also: used to be one of the admins for a very well-known, dodgy website whose name I probably shouldn't mention.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:48, archived)
# b3ta.com?
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:05, archived)
# i wish
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:07, archived)
# .
"In the UK we are already blessed with some amazing organisations, big & small who have been working to help make coding exciting & accessible across the country."

... but we're not going to give any of them funding, we're instead going to waste it all on PR and business people who have seen a way to leech money off the whole sorry project.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:42, archived)
# Leech is too kind a word.
edit: fuck
"Lottie was formerly Communications Manager at the influential think tank founded by Iain Duncan Smith MP, The Centre for Social Justice."
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:46, archived)
# Oh. I think I've gone off her
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:54, archived)
# I think the main thing they seem confused about is
the difference between code and a program.

The site says you have to code in order to design clothes.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:35, archived)
# You can actually build a website in an hour.
A really, really, terrible website. In an hour.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:09, archived)
# I've done so
And it wasn't terrible at all! My mum said it was really good.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:32, archived)
# Well yes any muppet can get an 'out of the box' website in minutes but it's not really making it yourself
Which I think is the point. What are the skills behind that.
(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:57, archived)
# I built mine entirely in hand-written HTML :(
And MS Paint for the graphics.

Edit: I think it had about four pages, made heavy use of frames, and had basically no content. This must have been 1998.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:03, archived)
# MSPaint is cheating
You need to code the graphics like Lottie says
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:15, archived)
# Then I have failed
Lottie has the better of me. I knew I should have written my graphics directly in Postscript but I just didn't have the time
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:19, archived)
# You didn't have the time?
You only need an hour.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:49, archived)
# It took an hour
I think I'm sub-intelligent :(
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:56, archived)
# Postscript? Pffft!
Real Programmers can code JPGs in hex...

000000: ffd8 ffe1 5b92 4578 6966 0000 4949 2a00 ...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:14, archived)
# <html><body>this website is fucking shit</body></html>
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 0:09, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Pig Bodine., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:13, archived)
# haha, that was truly painful
what is "the code"?!
(I helped save b3ta! Mousing, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:13, archived)
#
norvig.com/21-days.html
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:18, archived)
# All of teh codez!
I learns them!
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:19, archived)
# Kittins hav teh codez 2?
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:25, archived)
# Funny you should say that...
www.webomatica.com/wordpress/2007/05/29/lolcats-programmers-lolcode/

Unfortunately the main website seems to be down :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:28, archived)
# I now work as a programmer
which is why I was entertaining myself refamiliarising myself with some esoteric languages earlier today when what I was meant to be doing was riddled with some astonishing bugs despite being built from scratch with full unit test coverage. One of them was lolcode. Another was Chef, and another Shakespeare.

But I kind of thought this was the kind of thing for B3ta:
esolangs.org/wiki/Fuck4

Edit: I also have a soft spot for fuckfuck even though it's just a pallatte swap of brainfuck. this is hello world in fuckfuck, apparently:

boobb!!!!!!!!! arse fuck boob!!!!!! fuck boob!!!!!!!!! fuck
boob!! fuck boob shag!!! tits butt fuck boob! cock fuck boob cock
boob!!!!!! cock! boob!! cock fuck boob! cock shag! boob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cock fuck cock boob!! cock tits!!!!! cock tits!!!!!!! cock fuck boob
cock fuck cock
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:34, archived)
# Great website!
Like huh?, every file is a valid huh?++ program. However, huh?++ boasts a 100% failure rate, and doesn't bother to tell you that it doesn't understand your input. Commands are assumed to be too difficult for huh?++ to understand
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:50, archived)
# Hahaha didn't see that one
I like this quote: "Mike Worth wrote a hello world program that can be followed as a functional (if slightly odd) recipe for a chocolate cake:" for Chef

Edit: This is the recipe for Hello World I remembered. "This recipe prints the immortal words "Hello world!", in a basically brute force way. It also makes a lot of food for one person."
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:52, archived)
# well...
it'll certainly get the kids interested if this is the language they decide to teach them.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 0:41, archived)
# Haha I 'd forgotten about that.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:42, archived)
# I like Mondrian, where every program looks like a Mondrian painting
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:15, archived)
# I'd like to make a horse please
sign me up.
(I helped save b3ta! masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:28, archived)
# Ahhaha, I see that tory cum rag has been rebooted.
In an hour! What a trooper, give her a tax cut and a large bowl.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb &omega;&infin; for sigs, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:38, archived)
# Maybe I'm being a trifle obtuse but,
bowl?
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 7 Feb 2014, 3:14, archived)
# Do not look in that bowl with this bint, it is likely a sour mix of old wank and bullshit again.
Political slang: A water-carrier. From Gunga Din.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb &omega;&infin; for sigs, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 4:19, archived)
#
Lottie Dexter, Raspberry Pi,
Both are pleasing to the eye,
One's for coding,
One is not,
Lottie's just a MarketBot.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:39, archived)
# haha A+
gold star
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:40, archived)
# Wot, no pineapple cube?
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:54, archived)
# What posh hole did *you* go to school in?
We were lucky if our gold stars were made of brass
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:55, archived)
#
Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:11, archived)
# Sounds like a dream life to me
(Can't remember what comes next)
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:20, archived)
# About as good as Peaches Geldof talking about Quantum Physics
:D
(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:05, archived)
# Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!
Fucksake link!
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:16, archived)
# gove curses them with lines, lottie blesses them with code
GOTO 10
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 0:07, archived)
# I'd like to know how to wire a lightbulb please.
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:53, archived)
# hahaha, excellent
blind leading the blind
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:11, archived)
# well
i am convinced
(MAD ADE I feel old all of a sudden, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:39, archived)
# Why didn't they use use Guy Goma....
He would have been a lot more clued in... I love the way CODE becomes such a generic word for all things IT....

You'd think there would be at least one person on the BBC staff that could have had some technical input in to this report?
(I helped save b3ta! benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Mon 10 Feb 2014, 8:30, archived)