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What's all this Jeff talk

As I am a lazy cunt and can't be arsed trawling through the archives.

My new job has the unusual policy of shooting you in the eye if you so much look at the internet or brush it with your fingers so unfortunately I am missing loads of stuff.

(Jesus, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:33, archived)

he's back

we're all fucked now
*leafs nervously through bible*

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:34, archived)

Arrr

sogned up with the mafia have you.

I nearly spelt that mathia - which persumably would be a criminal bunch of mathmaticians or something

(Wallz, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:35, archived)

*imagines*

*fits of giggles*

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:37, archived)

hahaha. me too!

You'll wake up with a calculator on your pillow

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:45, archived)

disembowled calculator, surely?
...scary stuff!

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:47, archived)

(third year senior party trick)

I used to eat the credit card ones. I've eaten 2, y'know. never again.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:54, archived)

cue toilet gag

but then you'd have to work it out with a pencil!
ba dum tsh!

(

Pob, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 17:01, archived)

Quick Question

If you have sex twice in one night.. Does that mean that its the 2nd coming of Jesus?

i'll get my coat now

(

DontHaveAClue, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:37, archived)

Nonsense

Once is enough for her
Don't want her getting greedy.

PLus she won't have time to do it a second time with all the washing and ironing she has to do.

And who the fuck is Jeff?

(Jesus, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:38, archived)

Thanks everybody...

... for keeping the little bastard busy while I blow tramps for ciggies. It's appreciated. The poor dear just doesn't understand that Mummy has to work and public tantrums can be so very embarrasing.

(Jeff's Mum, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:32, archived)

It's so happy today, woohoo!

So I dedicate this song to b3ta.com, it's board and all b3tans...
Gerry and the Pacemakers - I Like It
The chorus is poignant and truthful, as are the last two thirds of the lyrics.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:30, archived)

what

a terribly nice bunch of people you are. And talented too.
Do you get paid to do this all day?

(schmark, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:29, archived)

Paid.

Excuse me not typing for a moment due to excessive laughter.

No, we dont get paid.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:30, archived)

i keep

expecting a picture to appear there...

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:49, archived)

Hmmmmmm

Taking its time to load >_

(tylrdiablos, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 17:01, archived)

Yes and no.

We generally get paid to DO other things but b3ta instead its rite graidly!

(Wallz, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:31, archived)

no and no unfortunately

I don't get paid and don't get paid.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:33, archived)

hi all

and i just get room and board and all the hummus i can steal ;)

(

Occasional Lurker, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:36, archived)

same to me.

(MJFallout has not posted anything for many many years, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:37, archived)

shame

so you do this for free, and for fun?

In that case Jeff was wrong about you. If I ever see him I'll tell him so.

(schmark, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:35, archived)

I've got a sneaking suspicion

that you may be the man himself.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:37, archived)

that's

very rude of you. Especially after all the nice things I said.

(schmark, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:39, archived)

all is not always

as it seems

if you know what i mean and i think you do

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:46, archived)

paid?

*g* That´s a good one.

(MJFallout has not posted anything for many many years, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:32, archived)

well, I'M not getting paid to b3ta,

and if anyone else is, I'm having WORDS with rob...

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:34, archived)

"paid" you say?

Hmm, I think I've heard of that but no... no I have no experience of it here.

(

pep, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:35, archived)

click...miaow...boom!

(MJFallout has not posted anything for many many years, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:28, archived)

(

the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:31, archived)

Nice.

Put him into a destroyed city, than it´s a demoolishion MOO YAY

(MJFallout has not posted anything for many many years, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:36, archived)

oooo

That's better, I feel much lighter. so I take it everyone here's doing a shite load of work?

(BeeJ, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:25, archived)

you did flush, didn't you?

please tell me you flushed

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:27, archived)

of course

What do you take me for.......
don't answer that.

Yes I did, it took a couple of attempts though. bloody quorn

(BeeJ, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:30, archived)

aaaawwww.

Who just went to the loo and forgot to wipe the seat?

and they didn't put it down.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:32, archived)

it wasn't you then?

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:33, archived)

wasn'tme

wasityou?
orwasithim?

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:48, archived)

nowt to do with me mate, I used the sink

(BeeJ, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:35, archived)

Its

floaty light.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:33, archived)

oh well

another (half)day gone by.
im off.
you may see me later - you may not.
Toodles!

(icedragon, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:22, archived)

this all seems terribly familiar

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:22, archived)

good

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:23, archived)

Yay

very nice.

I had ths startling realisation the other day, that 2 of my favourite ever films star him, Mike from Neighbours, Guy thingy.

(

Craymen, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:29, archived)

never would have pegged you...

... as the Priscilla type.
;o)

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:33, archived)

hehe

I was thinking of LA Confidential

:)

(

Craymen, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:38, archived)

woo and yay

to memento & pricilla..

Guy Pierce btw

(

Darkedge, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:34, archived)

Naw,

Strictly Ballroom.

(Amerella, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:39, archived)

He wasn't in that was he?

(

routine has perfected burgers, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:43, archived)

Yes,

he was the lead. Sorry, but I like that film.

/runs. hides./

(Amerella, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:47, archived)

WRONG

sorry us.imdb.com/Title?0105488

not him..

(

Darkedge, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:49, archived)

Bloody hell!

I've always always always thought it was the same guy! Well *now* I feel stoopid :)

(Amerella, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:53, archived)

sorry

and i only looked at the imdb to check..

(

Darkedge, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:55, archived)

no he

wasn't.. oops

(

Darkedge, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:48, archived)

would like to time spaz cos i just found a pic a thought id lost :D

[EDIT] VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

(

the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:16, archived)

super.

I fancy a new desktop, after vulga said what he said earlier, can I pinch it?

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:25, archived)

please

do.

(

the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:27, archived)

afternoon, all

just had a nice wander down the job centre and been told i can have some nice money for free :) have i missed anything interesting?

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:14, archived)

uh,

only some pvc catsuits and stuff.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:14, archived)

and jeff

calling everyone twats
[edit: oh and i turned up after having the morning off]

(icedragon, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:15, archived)

And DPK

swearing a lot. On request.

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:15, archived)

shit

i always miss the good stuff :(

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:17, archived)

well, this isn't a catsuit

but it's off the same site and it's WELL NICE...

...just to cheer you up!
[edit] bun on top of head looks much sexier than pigtails to me...

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:25, archived)

is that you

or isthisyou?
or is it me? or him?

ah fuggit.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:27, archived)

Damn You DPK

I'm gonna be thinking about that all night now.

time for a cold shower, Brrrrr...

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:28, archived)

Ahem

PPHHHWWWOOOOAAAAARRR.
Eyes down for a full house.
Matron.
Tight squeeze?
Nurse, the screens.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:28, archived)

Dress is lovely

hair is nowhere near as sexy as looooong plaits.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:30, archived)

you have a medievalist fetish,

you freak! :)

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:33, archived)

Its not an uncommon thing

for men to find them sexy, you know.

You'd look great with them :)

That bird that I spent a load of money on an outfit for in that other thread, now SHE looked sexy with plaits (well, she did anyway, but..), yeah, its enough to make you fall to your knees.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:36, archived)

I wouldn't, you know.

They'd be like rat's tails on me - not a lucious enough bonce. But it is kind of you to say so. I have such a tickled grin on my face now.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:40, archived)

awww

and its nice to know i've made someone smile.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:41, archived)

I used to have my hair in plats

in the old days when i was a clubbing fag hag. Gay men used to love it.

(

pep, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:38, archived)

Really?

Well, speaking as a straight man, I love it too :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:40, archived)

odd time in my life -

half my friends were gay and the other half were straightedge american hardcore punk lovers.
Ohhh, those were the days.

(

pep, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:46, archived)

Actually

that sounds like fun :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:51, archived)

Still trying to get mental image of Dr. PK

in Black PVC catsuit out of my head, can't concentrate at the moment

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:20, archived)

What do you mean

"only" PVC cat suits? hehe, PVC cat suits should be enough, but ON TOP of that, check out the marvelous front page!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:17, archived)

ok, I think...

...I'll do some timespazzing

(

beefandcheese, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:51, archived)

PVC Catsuits!!!?

WHERE WHERE WHERE!!!?

(djmothra, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:17, archived)

This

thread here.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:18, archived)

yay!!!

cheers Mr Bucket (do you pronounce that bouquet?) :-)

(djmothra, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:25, archived)

pvc

may look nice

but it's bloody uncomfortable

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:27, archived)

So?

it looks good?
nuff 'sed!!

(djmothra, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:34, archived)

I thought the idea was

that you don't necessarily wear it for too long...? Like really good undies, you can keep them on or not as you wish?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:37, archived)

but no one can see

if you're not wearing pants..

it's a bit more obvious if you take your trousers off in the middle of a club...

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:40, archived)

that

is undoubtedly true.
I gave up wearing my leather stuff for clubbing, I was always paranoid about cigarette burns etc. and it really was toooooo hot...

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:41, archived)

i was never worried about burns

it was splitting i was scared of!
and the heat-especially in a club that usually has sweat running down the walls anyway, it's not worth thinking about

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:46, archived)

Its spelt bucket

but its pronounced throatwarbler mangrove.

Tee hee! Look at me! Aren't I naughty? I quoted python!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:28, archived)

*disapproving look*

its not big or clever, you know

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:31, archived)

You're not a bucket.

You're a very naughty boy.

Heh! So did I!

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:31, archived)

can i make a confession?

Nasty Jeff, don't know who he was, but Apologetic Jeff, that was me.
Was trying to irritate and confuse the real Jeff, not confuse everyone else.
Feel better now.

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:11, archived)

I thought it was Lumpy

(Shaolin_Bukkake, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:12, archived)

jeff thinks you're a cunt.

But you made everyone feel better so we'll let you off

(icedragon, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:13, archived)

I was slightly confused

by his sudden eloquence and ability to spell.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:14, archived)

it was all getting a bit scary

with mr. pizza there

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:15, archived)

I am a twat

I am a twat

(Jeff, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:16, archived)

oooh! l33t sp33k, l33t sp33k,

what does it say? Someone, anyone?
[edit]um... the lamer geels?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:17, archived)

erm

"I am 12" I think.

(

Craymen, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:22, archived)

It's supposed to be

lamer geek.
"I 4m nl33t h4XX0r ur l4m3rz"

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:23, archived)

oh blimey... right, let's have a go.

"I am an elite hexer(good thing) and you are lamers(bad thing)"
...am I getting better at this?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:32, archived)

Not bad for a beginner!

haxx0rs are what 5kr1pT K1dd1e5 (script kiddies) call themselves. For the rest you are spot on!
Have a marmot.

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:44, archived)

i don't know

all gr33k to me

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:26, archived)

btw

that's not me

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:18, archived)

now that has

to be somebody else impersonating jeff..

(

Darkedge, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:18, archived)

poor jeff

if he ever comes back, no-one will believe it's him

(hee hee)

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:20, archived)

Now

I am confused

(Bobbie Bigguns, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:20, archived)

A dood.

Isnt that what the Arabs call camel shit ot Llama shit or something...or am I being needlessly offensive.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:24, archived)

I thought

it was a camels dick, or is it a donkeys...?

(SnoopySnoopyDoggDogg, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:32, archived)

Could be.

Maybe its both.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:34, archived)

maybe it is

llama shit in the shape of a donkeys dick.

see ya all later

(SnoopySnoopyDoggDogg, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:37, archived)

When looking for jeff

I came across this guy. He harms kittens. Look at that black eye!

(

dogbomb, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:10, archived)

hey I know that guy?

but who's the twat with the glasses next to him?

(

zog why change it now?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:14, archived)

everyone seems cheery today

so i made this

(

tomdog, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:10, archived)

Awwwwwwwww

your'e so sweeeeeeeet!

(soapytitwank, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:14, archived)

that has had the desired effect

it cheered me up no end. Thanks tomdog.

(

cobby, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:15, archived)

ah, that's nice

but the woman halfway through looks like she's in the shining...

(

rogan, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:16, archived)

that's m'lady

i hadn't noticed how sinister that picture can look, actually...

(

tomdog, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:32, archived)

d'oh!

I didn't realise it was *really* her. now I just feel stupid...

(

rogan, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:43, archived)

help

can anyone tell me where the toilets are in here?

(BeeJ, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:07, archived)

second on the right

greetings probably jeff

(icedragon, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:08, archived)

trap two's blocked

you have to pull the handle really hard

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:09, archived)

mmmmmmm

Vaseline's what that needs, or a good bit of wd40

(BeeJ, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:13, archived)

nope

but thanks for the directions

I'm impressed there's even a flunky

(BeeJ, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:09, archived)

Hehe

I was just thinking that :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:10, archived)

Can anyone help?

When I installed XP and went to b3ta for the first time, I clicked 'no' when asked if I wanted windows to remember my password for this site. Is there any way I can now change this because it is now driving me FUCKING mad.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:06, archived)

easy

just take xp off, and put it back on again. Next time you visit here, say "yes bob", and hey presto, problem solved!

(

Station, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:08, archived)

You know,

that never even crossed my mind. Thanks!

(

routine has perfected burgers, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:10, archived)

FORMAT C:

The obvious solution.

(Sorry, no clue! have you tried on the Settings panel?)

(Shaolin_Bukkake, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:08, archived)

Delete

XP as its shite and put on a half decent operating system

(

DontHaveAClue, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:09, archived)

delete the b3ta cookie

might work.

Or hold your nose and count to 3.

(

Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:11, archived)

delete

XP and put 2000 back

(soapytitwank, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:11, archived)

delete the b3ta cookie

Hold your nose and count to 3.

(

Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:11, archived)

It might be something

to do with the autocomplete settings in Internet Explorer settings.

(

Craymen, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:12, archived)

maybe

delete your cookies. I wouldn't listen to be though, bit of a jinx.

(

cobby, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:12, archived)

Do a little dance.

Give a little love.
Get down tonight.

That should sort it.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:17, archived)

just read it

*snort*

(

isthisyou?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:22, archived)

Oi! What'syer face!

Christmas came early!

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:06, archived)

Feck.

He's so gone home, hasn't he. Bah.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:20, archived)

that's why

we shouldn't move Christmas...

(

rogan, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:25, archived)

ROFLMAO

Hahaha that's brilliant!
Thank you :-)
I'll have to return the favour some how

(tylrdiablos, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:40, archived)

jesus

was looking for more marmot related goodness and I came across this, scared the shit out of me.

more here

(pibakic, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:03, archived)

looks suspicously like this little chap from my favourite film

(

Monkeyboy, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:08, archived)

I know its sad

but Folkmanis make great puppets...thats if you like sticking your hand up a fabricated felt false animals arse.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:08, archived)

ooooHHH!!

me want me WANT!!!

so good those are.. would like loads

btw - u lot are going to meet ringtailedwheema at the B3ta bash - hehe

(

Darkedge, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:13, archived)

public announcement

(

munkt0n, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:02, archived)

you're

deliberately spelt wrong!!? ;-)

(djmothra, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:04, archived)

dunno

I'm just passing on a message of goodwill from Jeff

(

munkt0n, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:05, archived)

and what a

nice person he is too!!!

(djmothra, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:07, archived)

Thats is

the dogs engorged vulva.

I sense a new b3ta phrase in the making.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:06, archived)

perfect

That phrase is the dog's vulva.

see? Already adopted it!

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:07, archived)

I meant the

'Jeff thinks You're a cunt' but the dogs vulva has a certain ring to it.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:09, archived)

how about

"Jeff says you're a dogs vulva"?

best of both worlds!

(

munkt0n, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:11, archived)

i hear what you're saying,

but I think "engorged" is the word that really makes that phrase, and it shouldn't be left out.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:11, archived)

Jeff says your the dogs engorged vulva.

I see what you mean.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:15, archived)

Mrs Pizza

You are a shining paragon among B3TA wives. I, on the other hand, am just a pimply fifteen-year-old with a personality disorder, who is not fit even to look at you. Through tinted glass.
I am very, very sorry.

(Jeff, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:01, archived)

err

[edit: ah, just looked down the board a bit. carry on...]

(icedragon, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:03, archived)

sucker.

she's out. has been for hours.
be nice or piss off, as we are all fluffy on this board, and we supress any angst we may feel, so as NOT to be like other messageboards, with (mostly) our own interpretations of humour, and is full of really wonderful people, who are really nice in real life too, but like kittens, we can also be very vicious.

are you going to be nicer to everyone now?

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:06, archived)

yes

sorry

(Jeff, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:08, archived)

Dont forget

Bunnies!!

(Bobbie Bigguns, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 16:12, archived)

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