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# you'd never guess he was a dictator

if he shaved off his 'tache
(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:02, archived)
# Crikey
thats a big upper lip.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:05, archived)
# or rather
gap-between-upper-lip-and-nose-type-thing
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:06, archived)
# I was told
by one of those Women's Magazines that men with a long philtrum have a particularly insatiable sex drive...

which makes me think: John Major? Surely, no!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:07, archived)
# You should know the word for that,
it was on a BT advert after all...

(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:08, archived)
# "Whats this ridge called?"
"Rectum. We call this, the rectum..."
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:09, archived)
# philtrum, we call this a philtrum (sp?)
I thought that was the bit in between your nostrils?
(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:12, archived)
# Yes, I think you are righter.
:)
(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:16, archived)
# depends
if you're talking out of your arse.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:18, archived)
# [handbags]
.
.
.
.
[/handbags]
(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:19, archived)
# ooh, but surely you mean


(i'm so pleased with that. I know I keep reposting it)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:31, archived)
# I like it too
its fab.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:35, archived)
# thank
yooo!! Oh I'm so happy...
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:52, archived)
# No
It was felctrum, and its that ridge beneath your nose.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:17, archived)
# sorry?
did you say "feltch 'em"?
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:42, archived)
# I particularly like this bit:
'I'm a mother and it's great, but... does anyone else ever feel... overwhelmed?'
*women all over the country sigh 'oh, fuck off' at painfully obvious marketing ploy*
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:23, archived)
# can i have a sweetie now?

i am a photoshop whore...
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:02, archived)
# oh no!
I have no photoshop... here, try this:

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:04, archived)
# argh...
I am a bad mother. tomsk, have you got any sweeties for spacefish?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:05, archived)
# .
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:11, archived)
# mmm... cake
thankyou!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:05, archived)
# hang on...
...so you can see the cake, can you?

Because I can't from here. THat's so odd...
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:12, archived)
# ooooh...
there it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:12, archived)
# thats because
hes eaten it now...
(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:13, archived)
# mrbrong
I'd certainly watch "Looting with Jools Holland". It sounds almost as good as that Dog in a Coat program on BBC 1...
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:59, archived)
# Woo! An audience of 1!
Channel 5 are gonna be so jealous.
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:14, archived)
# a reflection of my day so far...

and if youre in marketing and thinking "yeah, ha ha,
im in marketing but im one of the good ones
cause i read b3ta and stuff", youre not. youre a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! santexo, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:58, archived)
# I sense hostility
Share Santexo share
(I helped save b3ta! fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:00, archived)
# todays theme is:
commit to deadlines you cant possibly hope to meet because
someone will end up doing your work for you while you sit around
reading wallpaper (the magazine-not the wall covering)
(I helped save b3ta! santexo, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:13, archived)
# santexo me old spud
santexo me old spud
you have it right in one

marketing people are SCUM.
and something even worse? media trainers. they are EVIL.
They are soly responsible for the meaningless doubletalk and answer-a-question-without-really-answering abilities of politicians and other media people that make everyone believe that politicians talk absolute SHIT and do NOTHING and have no OPINIONS and never get things DONE and are totally USELESS. Yet in actuality they are trained that way, by "media professionals" who teach them that the only way to be not loathed by the population is to have NO opinions, to NOT answer questions with a straight answer but in reality its how they act because of the training that pisses people off the most!!

Media trainers? DIE DIE DIE
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:59, archived)
# but hang on
you work for Starbucks, don't you?

edit: and by the way,
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:00, archived)
# I'm with
Santexo and Bill on this one.
Kill yourself. No, really.
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:03, archived)
# Are you sure
you're not going for the 'kill all the marketing bastards' dollar?
(I helped save b3ta! fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:04, archived)
# Nope.
Seriously.
Actually, I'm almost as verminous myself, professionally speaking, but I'm looking for a way out.
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:07, archived)
# and bees
i like my coffee with bees in.
(crazymum, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:15, archived)
# are you by any chance
going for that anti-marketing dollar?
because we've done research. that's a good market.
etc,
etc
(works in marketing)
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:06, archived)
# Oooh.
You changed your name back. Good afternoon.
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:08, archived)
# hello everybody
may not stay long
at home (56k, if that)
plus looking after two small children
(inbetween doing interviews for the ... etc, etc)
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:17, archived)
# I like that a lot.
Is that the factory that produces sales managers as well?

(james, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:09, archived)
# Sales Managers, PR people,
Company Directors, any position that requires having their brain
pulled out their rectum and a vacant look welded to their smug little face
(im going to have a little nap)
(I helped save b3ta! santexo, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:20, archived)
# As someone who has nothing to do with marketting
I feel I must protest my indifference to this!
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:30, archived)
# santexo me old spud
you have it right in one

marketing people are SCUM.
and something even worse? media trainers. they are EVIL.
They are soly responsible for the meaningless doubletalk and answer-a-question-without-really-answering abilities of politicians and other media people that make everyone believe that politicians talk absolute SHIT and do NOTHING and have no OPINIONS and never get things DONE and are totally USELESS. Yet in actuality they are trained that way, by "media professionals" who teach them that the only way to be not loathed by the population is to have NO opinions, to NOT answer questions with a straight answer but in reality its how they act because of the training that pisses people off the most!!

Media trainers? DIE DIE DIE
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:48, archived)
# Agree!
People that work in the following are all coke snorting fuckpuppetted cunts, Marketing, Sales, London EC1,.. thank you for your time :)

-David
(HoTWire, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:48, archived)
# Agree!
Take pity on me. I have to LIVE in London EC1. I have to put up with the Hoxton pilfering snotty-nosed trustafarian motherfuckers. The only people who pay £350 to have that 'shabby' look. Give me a monkey and you can have my entire wardrobe. Fuck it, I'll just mug you.
(Pooch, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:01, archived)
[challenge entry] another
wasted



lunchtime
(Phil not DS, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:58, archived)
# Not wasted
at all
(I helped save b3ta! fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:02, archived)
# mr.claypole shorn
i still hate him, even without his facial adornments
(I helped save b3ta! lurker_no_more, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:55, archived)
# Was just searching for a pic of sadam hussien
and somehow found this:
Clicky
(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:54, archived)
# dont know whats up with this
I've checked the link but it wont work for me, keeps directing to b3ta.com/board then the link os if it doesnt work, c + p this:
www.pepedog.com/vest/big1.htm
(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:55, archived)
# missing an http:// at the beginning
my dear
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:03, archived)
# thankyou spacefish
It had me stumped
(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:05, archived)
# Mmmmnn Nice
It has this

(I helped save b3ta! fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:58, archived)
# A question
I seem to be asking myself more and more of late is...
Why???
(I helped save b3ta! chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:58, archived)
# Hedley
I just can't stop
(I helped save b3ta! fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:52, archived)
# fantastic
hey
(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:53, archived)
# Time for my dogs of war!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! GillianT's_Pet_Trombone, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:57, archived)
[challenge entry] hear him roar!


My imaginary friend, the last of the "shark-finned-antlered-catheaded-giant-sloths". drinking a pint of kitten and saluting you all.
(I helped save b3ta! currymonster, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:50, archived)
# Hey Crab Bloke
Seeing your Chinchilla toaster remindeded me of this dribbling chinchilla on a strong piss coloured background, that I made for a project at work.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:49, archived)
# That was for a project at work?!
WTF do you DO?
(Wallz, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:51, archived)
# What project was that then?
.
(qwerty, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:52, archived)
# Mostly I do server side Java
All our internal engineering pages have differnent South American rodents, Coypus for build tasks, Maras for system level design docs, Capybaras for testing etc.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:57, archived)
# Humm
Whats the dribbling chinchilla represent then
(Wallz, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:13, archived)
# Wow
That is absolutely fantastic. Cheers matey.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:12, archived)
# the cctv images Buckingham palace didn't want you to see
(juniorsquire, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:46, archived)
# annoying site on front page
that little ditty is plastered over the front of a resaturant on Essex Road
(I helped save b3ta! bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:43, archived)
# does everyone
live on essex road?
(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:50, archived)
# I used to work....
in the Business Design Center on Upper Street, but never lived near there
(I helped save b3ta! raw-edge, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:01, archived)
# Joy of Joy
It's a wonderfull little world where a taxidermist, a fishmonger, a dead groovy bar, a restaurant with a crap poem on it and a gala bingo hall can all exist in harmony.
(I helped save b3ta! bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:05, archived)
# shave a celeb
I found an old pal of mine to shave!
lunchbreaklarry, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:39, archived)
# No ideas of me own at the moment
Look, it's either this or work



(qwerty, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:34, archived)
# Its either this or finish laying a path.
(I helped save b3ta! moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:39, archived)
# Feel the evil power of my 666th posting on b3ta!
I don't know either
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:29, archived)
# LOL
whats it like to be a heretic?
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:30, archived)
# It's ace.
You get some great tax-breaks.
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:31, archived)
# heres a present for you then....
The Heretic Anthem! Wee!
linkie mp3 wma thing
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:39, archived)
# well it would work
but my fucking server has gone tits up. so I cant do any work! weee!
(edit - its up again damn)
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:40, archived)
# Woooo!
Slipknot. Raaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh.
Thank you. That made me feel much better.
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:53, archived)
# slipknot
RULE!
*/sad*
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:02, archived)
# that probably deserves
a
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:42, archived)
# mmmmm
/dribbles...
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:48, archived)
# and funnily enough
I look exactly like that myself...
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:54, archived)
# it's true
/dribbles
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:56, archived)
# now now
To be completely honest, I don't have a fringe any more.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:59, archived)
# aren't you cold?
or are you moving alot to keep yourself warm?
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:16, archived)
# You must get really sore thighs
stood like that all day.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:22, archived)
# bloody funny
har har
(KingMob, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:39, archived)
# this is probably very old
and im sure i seen it before, but sod it.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:21, archived)
# Ahh yes
I think you saw it on b3ta.com :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:22, archived)
# does anyone know
If it's faked or not?
(Silentz, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:24, archived)
# it's real alright....
i heard it was sold to an orphanage
(tooyoungisabloke, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:27, archived)
# aparantly
the car was really for sale but the reason wasn't, aparantly the guy got a bollocking from his missus about it and several phone calls from people feeeling sorry about it ...he felt guilty about it and then told the truth.....read it in a paper somewhere Metro i think...
(I helped save b3ta! raw-edge, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:32, archived)
# speaking of Metro
did anyone see the guy on page 12? Baldy type with a lion's face photoshopped on it? Very poor, I thought.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:36, archived)
# it was on Radio 4 last night...
*goes back to difficult crossword*
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:14, archived)
# probably..
was at the times wine festival on saturday and drank about 5000 £ worth of luvverly wine and me brain still isnt doing that thing, we wossname, thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:24, archived)
# I wanna do what you do for a living,
whatever that may be.
(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:27, archived)
# i made this
http://www.livegigguide.com/

but mainly i drink. YAY!
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:29, archived)
# are you throwing in
the Hired Gun game then?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:33, archived)
# i did forget.
back now.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:37, archived)
# Mmm?
Sorry?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:39, archived)
# Well it's very rewarding work
but the money's not as good as it could be.
(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:41, archived)
# kill famouser people
charge more.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:45, archived)
# Well my work list currently stands thus:
1. Celine Dion
2. Mariah Carey
3. Anne Widdicombe

But these I do for the good of mankind....
(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:48, archived)
# Well
get on with it then.
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:04, archived)
# do they have a beer
festival where you can drink £5000 of beer? if so, can I come? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:27, archived)
# aye
the camra beer fest, or the catford beer fest - where ya get loads of cheap beer..
(not as good as the wine fest - all the booze is free there WOO)
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:30, archived)
# are you at home?
coz i just sent you an email.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:31, archived)
# oooooooh
who are these wimmin! 8-)
Sod, i can get guest passes for anything, but i never get offered sex. DAGNAMMIT.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:33, archived)
# Its how you sell it
One of them was a massive Ozzy fan. All I said was "Its not completely impossible that Ozzy might possibly pop into the guest area for a bit, but then again he might not."

Next thing you know, she was offering to do "absolutely anything".

Would have been ace if she had been my type.

[edited coz i feel a little guilty. She's not really ugly per se, just not my type at all]
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:35, archived)
# theres an old irish saying
you dont notice the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:36, archived)
# Theres only two problems:
1) Her boyfriend was there

2) I didn't fancy doing it in the pub toilet, and i was staying at a friends house that evening and it would have been a bit rude to invite someone back.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:37, archived)
# Oh, and
3) I don't take advantage of women who are significantly more drunk than I am. I'm just too nice :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:38, archived)
# yeah
that's at number 3? Is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:39, archived)
# What does it matter where it is?
Its still a reason for me not to take advantage. If the other two were non-issues, that one would still remain.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:41, archived)
# no I mean
putting it at (3) makes it sound like an afterthought, rather than quite a significant (possibly the most significant) bit of reasoning...
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:46, archived)
# Ahh
but its not in my nature to take advantage of people, so thats why it doesn't spring to mind as something i would conciously have to think about...

really drunk women aren't a turn on for me anyway ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:57, archived)
# phew.
that's all fine then.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:06, archived)
# Good good
OOh... we're in danger of reaching the edge of the world now...
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:08, archived)
# don't be cross
with meeeeee... I deal with it very badly. I think the light-hearted humour in my voice didn't type very well...
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:49, archived)
# but
on the other hand, if your own self is too drunk to notice that , i think that makes it alright.
(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:55, archived)
# when you're in that state
you're generally too drunk to do anything except pass out, so it's pretty self-regulating i think.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:07, archived)
# this is just the usual
celebratory post about going off the grey bit into the huge white unkown again.
(I helped save b3ta! zog why change it now?, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:15, archived)
# Hmm
We're not there on my 1280x960 screen :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:19, archived)
# Set me a trap
to get that May sucker.
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:13, archived)
# Front Page
I expect for that one Sir
(I helped save b3ta! fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:14, archived)
# Marvellous.
Burn him! Yay!
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:20, archived)
# woo yay houpla
huzzah!!
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:24, archived)
# yay
make may cry
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:53, archived)
# Didn't expect this on the way to corner shop
(Stu_Woody, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:12, archived)
# Is that one of the new BBC1 idents?
.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:27, archived)
# ehhh?
I don't know. I don't get BBC1
(Stu_Woody, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:49, archived)
# I'm still slow
But i'm catching up!
[Not really safe for work. Plus its horrible :)]

I'm sorry....
(UKJsGhost, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:12, archived)
# Aaaaregghhhhh
NSFW!
(I helped save b3ta! fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:12, archived)
# thanks dude
i was eating!!!
(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:12, archived)
# that is
NOT WORK FRIENDLY. Could I ask you to make it a link instead please?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:14, archived)
# my eyes!
for the 2nd time today...
(minoltion, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:14, archived)
# Deeply
unpleasant. Urgh.
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:18, archived)
# Sorry all!
Didn't think about you poor sods at work. Hope none of you got ticked off *runs*
(UKJsGhost, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:25, archived)
# Nope.
I work from home. It just deeply disturbed me...
(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 12:27, archived)

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