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Crabby

Incoming image..bastard Blueyonder down for 56 hours from 0:00 this morning...sorry

(

Si W, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:59, archived)

url on its way

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:08, archived)

taa muchly !

I owe you a couple of Stellas.....

(

Si W, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:18, archived)

This serves no purpose... except your all complaining theres no pics...

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:51, archived)

Everytime I blink

it changes from looking like a man to looking like a woman and back again.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:54, archived)

I know what you mean...

I reckon its Furtive in disguise stealing cullinders...

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:57, archived)

He's camoflaged against that post

just biding his time.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:00, archived)

What would Furtive do with the Cullinders though?

Flog them at the Market? or keep them for his own personal use?

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:05, archived)

He would probably use them

as a shield in the Orange Game.

He hates the orange game.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:08, archived)

Yes, I hate the Orange Game.

Although, if i had cullinder sheilds i'd definately play.

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:13, archived)

CRICKEY!

To further the man/woman point, if you cover her up with your hand from the eyes down, it looks completely like a man! Well... sort of...

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:11, archived)

I know and it's killing me

because i can't work out WHO s/he looks like. It'll come to me eventually.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:17, archived)

How about Old Person Male/Female quiz

Just show them the head and see if you can work it out.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:23, archived)

Brill Idea!

Might do that if no one else beats me too it and when i finish all my work...

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:30, archived)

(ZZZzzz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:33, archived)

Mmm... have a disco styled woo yay...

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:37, archived)

Say hello

to Gary.... slowly mind...

(ZZZzzz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:45, archived)

Nice

It's all in the timing.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Tue 23 Apr 2002, 0:02, archived)

Drink.. girls..

Inspired by the display of beverages shown earlier, I have raided the girly alcohol cupboard (all the lager has gone. Gone and never called me "Tatler"):

Po.

and begun to imbibe a random selection, much against my better judgement.

Anyway, do any of you horny devils know what "l33t" means in the modern-day young-people idiom?

Dying for a wee, now.

j

(

syzygy, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:40, archived)

of course ...

elite = leet = l33t

... please just never use that word unless you're joking around :)

(goodspeed, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:59, archived)

Thanks for your help..

I only asked because my wife wanted to know.

Does that mean "Elite" in the wanky "I'm better than you" way or the "Wireframe BBC Game" way?

I'm showing my age, now.

j

(

syzygy, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:02, archived)

I don't know the answer to the question...

but I think as long as we laugh at the same kind of cunty mints, it doesn't matter about age differences... anyone with me?

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:07, archived)

I'm with you..

..but I'm not sure where we are.

The interweb is terribly disorientating, especially when it's dark.

j

(

syzygy, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:10, archived)

as one of the younger(but very legal) b3tans

i wholeheartedly agree

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:11, archived)

woo...

how old are you? I'm a 'youthful yet experienced' 14 years of age. (and don't ask why I put youthful yet experienced... i think ive been drinking too much)

(salbot, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:15, archived)

you are only 14?

you said cuntymints! that ain't right. i am nineteen years old, and until hearing your age considered myself youthful and ruddy-faced. now i feel like a sad sad man. go to bed.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:24, archived)

i'm 20

and i feel old...

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:39, archived)

I'm glad the regulars on here don't fit a...

whatchamacallit. you know like genre, only with people. category? umm.... bed time for me, I think. anyway I just meant it's cool everyone ranges from 14 to 48 without worrying about it.

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 23 Apr 2002, 0:24, archived)

FUCKSOCKS

my mother just dropped by unexpectedly in the middle of a nice chat about sex and i had to hide the booze, make her a coffee and talk about opera...

RIGHT. I'm definately to bed now.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:39, archived)

Quick hide the cuntymints!

Night night.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:43, archived)

goodnight folks...

bedtime for illuminators.

sweet dreams of kittens, penguins, bears and chaos.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:32, archived)

nighty night!

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:35, archived)

what happened to all the pictures?

been absent a lot lately... just noticing how verbal b3ta's gotten since the party. not that that's necessarily a bad thing, but it makes it harder for people like me to play with. *sigh*

(

zog why change it now?, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:27, archived)

maybe someone can cheer me up...

by photoshopping this guy on the right. my long term gf left me for him a couple months ago, and he... really annoys me. plus we all live in the same apartment complex, so I have to SEE them all the time! fix him for me! please!

and no, she's not in the picture.

(

zog why change it now?, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:29, archived)

link

is broken

(

EvS, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:32, archived)

Wow a painting of Wife Of Pizza

on the wall :)

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:34, archived)

hahahahahaha

hahahahaha!!!!

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:37, archived)

Less

the nipple bar...

(ZZZzzz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:37, archived)

your wsh is my command

as soon as ive watched crab blokes stupendous creation, eta 16 seconds.

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:35, archived)

Dawolfey and I were saying the same thing on m3ss3nger

just a few minutes ago. I didn't even make it to the party, and I haven't had time to pshop in the last few days!

I don't get much pshop time at work, so I kinda like being able to contribute verbally (=quickly)

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:30, archived)

If anyone's interested, I've put up that video

It's here
It's big- not one for a dial-up. also not progressive, so just leave it doing its thing in the background as it'll all need to come down the pipe before it'll play.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:21, archived)

Cheers mate

Dowloading big files is like having a nice fire going in the background.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:25, archived)

thats a lovely saying

very poetic...i like... i like...

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:39, archived)

It's true sometimes I like to make things cue up so they go 1 at a time.

Like throwing a new log on the fire.

Up to 67% now on this one.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:45, archived)

98%

Down to it's last embers.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:01, archived)

hmmm

is a slow server, barely topping 25K/s.

the suspense only heightens the expectations...

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:26, archived)

Bugger

I've had probs with that one before, but I don't think there's anywhere else I can put it at the mo. Soz.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:28, archived)

is ok

shot up to the wacky heights of 33K now.

damn, what to do with the other 967?

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:31, archived)

that is frickin cool...

... but excessively large

if you dont mind using divx you could get it to 2.5 - 3 meg with virtually no loss of quality
even a pal mpeg would only be ~7 meg - avoid cinepak like the plague

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:41, archived)

fantastic

someone who understands all this compression algorithm stuff!
OK- premiere 6 - what would you recommend for compression settings?
I've been asking for fucking ever but no-one ever answers.
Oh- by the way- i'm reluctant to use dvix - usability blah de blah.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:49, archived)

never used premier...

ill have a fiddle about with the vid and report back... you going to be around in the next few hours?

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:03, archived)

right, a 3 meg

mpg looks fine.

i can get it a bit smaller if i lose a bit of resolution.

what kinda size were you looking for?

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:15, archived)

doing a bitch of an essay

but will get thrown out if it sucks too much. can anyone help me finish this sentence?

The media frenzy that surrounded ‘Nasty’ Nick Bateman upon his expulsion from the Big Brother house was of the size more expected from ..... from what?

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:12, archived)

how about...

"the disgrace of a genuinely talented celebrity."

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:14, archived)

well its an essay about celebrity

and the fickleness and stupidity of the public so that doesn't quite fit but cheers. i liked him, he was a right cunt.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:16, archived)

oh well... I didn't have the context!

my gf is a teacher and recently did a discussion with her 5th year kids about celebrity... "does celebrity have any relation to talent?" was a question I suggested...

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:19, archived)

it blatantly doesn't.

not even slightly.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:21, archived)

indeed...

these are kids who don't read books... and can barely make it through a whole issue of "Heat". They just don't question ANYTHING!!!

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:24, archived)

i ahve a copy of 'heat' right here

i am using it as a source. also Viz and Loaded. the last essay I wrote was on 'Jackass', i totally use what i know.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:25, archived)

jackass?

..now you're talking. Johnnny has his finger on the zeitgeist. On a skateboard. With stilts. And a stick of dynamite up his ass. Jumping over two tons of raw sewage.

Jackass rocks.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:29, archived)

i got a mark equivalent to a first for it

which was god, for an essay written drunk in an hour.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:30, archived)

He's on this years Gumball 3000 again with Doktored

It starts soon.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:30, archived)

yeah i read that

and a feature film is meant to be out in July

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:31, archived)

Depending on the age of the lecturer

Either Profumo or Nixon when they were caught out

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:20, archived)

pro-

who?

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:24, archived)

John Profumo, you may have seen the film 'Scandal'

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/politicspast/story/0,9061,471383,00.html

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:27, archived)

i don't watch clever films

but i'll check the link out.

edit: i'm gonna use that, thats pretty useful.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:32, archived)

I wouldn't call it a 'clever' film.

It focused on the sex side of the scandal rather than the politics. I'd say it was a C4 film rather than a BBC2 one. Not a C5 one though.

Basically it's a lying politician (oxymoron), one of the earliest to get really caught out.
In a paragraph - "John Profumo, Secretary of State for War, had an affair with a prostitute Christine Keeler. It was found out that Christine Keeler also knew a Soviet intelligence officer. Profumo denied this in the House of Commons but it was proved true and Profumo was forced to resign."

Nixon may be easier to write about if you know a bit about his case. Then there's Clinton more recently. In the UK Archer's been sent to jail but everyone hates him and he is nasty.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:41, archived)

this makes me seem stupid but

what exactly was archer's crime?

(in my defence, i didn't live in britain till september)

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:57, archived)

Archer's crime

was being a crooked, lying swindler all his life.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:01, archived)

if that was a crime

half my parents friends would be in prison. as would all plumbers.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:05, archived)

He was in a different league

to your average plumber mate, believe me.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:10, archived)

you couldn't actually

tell me the frigging answer could you? cheers.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:16, archived)

david beckham's

foot?

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:16, archived)

i might use that.

or is it too taking-the-piss?

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:17, archived)

that was absolutely

taking the piss!

and only raises more questions

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:19, archived)

i guess, i liked it though

might use it another time.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:21, archived)

Do one on the collapse of daniella westbrook's nose

as a metaphor for the collapse of the world trade centre.
That'll get you a first, guaranteed.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:18, archived)

if westbrooks nose collapsed before the wtc

(which it did), then could i argue that osama bin laden was just a pissed-off eastenders fan? probably not, and it isn't related to the topic, but it's thought-provoking...

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:20, archived)

two major volumes reduced to one big hole...

go for it!

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:21, archived)

that is

very sick but very very funny.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:22, archived)

Ithangyou...

youvebeenalovelyaudience...

(start the car)

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:25, archived)

I miss

daniella westbrook jokes. that was a beautiful time for so many of us.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:27, archived)

humour

nose no bounds.

[/coat]

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:33, archived)

...exactly the sort of non event that this actually was

and it illustrates the point of media frenzy, non news and the concept of celebritism that someone makes a person "famous" and in a sense better than "regular people" when infact its all total total bullshit
(ok you may need to tone that last bit down a little)

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:21, archived)

thats actualy quite close

to what i'm writing.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:22, archived)

and another thing

when the public at large start to hate a character from a popular soap opera, they tend to hate the actor as well.
maybe a case of personification, but still, the public are idiots
and the tabloids thrive on this

kill the tabloids
kill celeberties and their "privilaged" circle

more popbitch where(although i suspect a lot of it are just lies) they shatter the myth that celebs are these perfect people and that they have real lifes and the celeb status has gone to their heads so they think they can get away with anything
actually get rid of popbitch because its just fuel for the celeb status fire which in turn gives tabloids more celeb gossip which makes idiots more interested in the celebs because they like to hear the dirt

mm ive just totally contradicted myself there
i need to calm down a bit

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:25, archived)

yeah dude.

chill.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:26, archived)

The SUn is already

trying to 'Free' some eastenders bint who's been sent to prison.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:29, archived)

i love the sun

thats how i keep track of who sven goran eriksson is boning.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:32, archived)

Did you see earlier - I think he was after the Squirrel

But Ulrika though he was making eyes at her.
www.zippit.co.uk/SvenUlrikaExclusive.jpg

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:47, archived)

beautiful

i can see that on the front page tomorrow.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:51, archived)

Right, the Nacho is checking out.

I am so scared of my next phone bill. I reckon it's gonna be at least £300 and I'm gonna be ordered to pay it all. Cheers for entertaining me The Wife, Dr PK, and all the boys.
Speak to ya soon. Arse, still gotta take my makeup off.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:09, archived)

night nach...

and get ye broadband... cheaper in the long run.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:11, archived)

Nighty-night

I'm off too. Hope my boys sleep until the morning.. Need more sleep.

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:14, archived)

Oh my God,

is anyone else watching this programme? They're going on about gay dog noshing. Scary

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:06, archived)

it's well freaky...

...even worse, my girlfriend has just recognised a guy who was on it for a few seconds as someone she was at uni with a good few years ago...

UPDATE: I lied unintentionally! He's an animal rights guy and he's gay, so I figured it was the same show. However, while I was b3ting, she had switched over to the news in the break...

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:09, archived)

bugger

ive got my tv card working but no aerial.
anyone know how to make one out of household stuff?

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:11, archived)

coat hangers any use?

They were the traditional solution for knackered Ford Escorts, I seem to remember.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:13, archived)

ahhh

great minds etc.....

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:13, archived)

sadly no.

might try wiring it up to my bike though (not as dumb as it sounds)

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:15, archived)

and if you wear a tinfoil suit and pedal like the wind...

...you might even get channel 5!

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:16, archived)

no, actually

it is as dumb as it sounds.

shit.

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:17, archived)

stick a coathanger in it?

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:13, archived)

I've done some classics

But can't post 'em til Wednesday as shitty Blueyonder are pissing around with the personal web pages.

Basts

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:03, archived)

Before the gay animals show...

...I had the Scottish news on. A bloke way up north (Elgin or thereabouts) was caught driving drunk with a record-breaking 210mg reading on the breathalyser. the limit is 35...

Apparently this is enough to put some people in a coma.

Jeeeeez... what an arse.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:42, archived)

I really dislike people who drink drive

Which is why I don't have a car anymore!

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:53, archived)

The same woman

who tried to shag me was caught drunk driving at som ething ridiculous over the limit. I'm sure her reading was up in the hundreds. She crashed her car before she even got out of the pub carpark and then tried to shove the policeman out of the way so she could continue driving home. She's one scary individual..

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:02, archived)

Nutter.

Someone I know wrapped his car round a lamppost when he was drunk, but he was totally unhurt, but he couldn't be arsed to walk anywhere so just fell asleep in the driver seat and was still there when the police arrived. Foolish boy.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:04, archived)

Hello chaps

Haven't been around here today. I've just been putting John B - Up all night onto video of me exploding fluffy toys. It shouts "Blooooooooooow the fucking place up" and they explode. It works really well. I'm dead pleased with myself.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:41, archived)

well done you

we've been talking about sex and beer.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:42, archived)

Oooh nice

I like beer. I can't remember what sex is like, but I think I enjoyed it.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:44, archived)

heh

heh

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:45, archived)

no, but really,

it's great. Take my word for it, honest.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:47, archived)

Yeah, I was just about to say, Crab Bloke, Dr Phil Kitten will be able to tell you

cos she's just about to go have a shag sesh with Tomsk. Give it another 3 years...

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:49, archived)

yeah

tell me about it

*sigh*

(

flibz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:59, archived)

Nah, it's not that bad, I'm just being a drama queen.

It would help if he didn't fall unconscious in the lounge every night of every weekend though. But then I have to put up with snoring. Although I'm sure I snore when I'm drunk as well.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:02, archived)

I don't know how youse guys do it

I've never been any good at relationships, though the last one was nearly a year (record by a long way) and we're still friends which is cool. Maybe I'm missing out on stuff, but it has been nice to have most of my twenties without having to worry about other people when i want to go out on a large one, or act like a lecherous tit, or move to Australia or whatever. Still, can't help feeling I ought to be meeting the woman of my dreams reasonably soon. Hey-ho. I suppose I suppose I could always buy a pretty Romanian girl or something.
Oh bugger, you have to be loaded to do that don't you.
Oh well, looks like I'll be old and lonely (violins etc)

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:07, archived)

Don't worry Crabby

There are some pretty hot violinists out there.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:08, archived)

my mate is now engaged...

..to a very fine viola player.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:15, archived)

I've had dreams

of Nigella Lawson playing a cello.

Suprise suprise i'm single.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:19, archived)

Thanks for being so supportive in my time of need everybody

Nigella Lawson- i saw something in the paper yesterday about her paying other cooks to use their recipes instead of making up her own. Hmm. Also, isn't Nigella the most awful name for a woman?

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:25, archived)

Yeah pretty bad name

Makes it hard to forget who her father is when I'm oogling her.

I'll have to give her a nickname when we get together.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:33, archived)

It strikes me

as really awful egotism on the part of Nigel, but i could be being unfair.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 23:00, archived)

Exactly, Crabbie

you can do whatever you want when ever you want. Lap it up cos when you meet the right one, that's it, isn't it?
Right, I am off to bed. To sleep.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:12, archived)

I have 4 friends

all in theire 30's who have recently met and are really serious about new blokes. None of them have had serious relationships for years and years, and this out of the blue. There's hope for everyone.

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:20, archived)

that sounds

a bit too familiar.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:08, archived)

YAY

Girlie internet chats.
And cheese. Though not in the same sentence as the sex.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:45, archived)

la la la

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:47, archived)

is what me?

i've been busy working.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:09, archived)

I'm not a girlie...

but I love sex, beer and cheese! I'm quite prepared to investigate ways of combining all three.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:47, archived)

Glad you said that

although to be fair we're mostly talking about drinking and being pregnant. Not enough sex...

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:47, archived)

oh, all right then.

boys who can't finish - it's a terrible thing and not what you expect when they're sober. Does that count as sex gossip? (this was the Iraqui chap btw)

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:49, archived)

Or shoot their load just when you're on the brink

and then can't be arsed to finish the job cos they're done.
I'm speaking hypothetically of course....

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:51, archived)

Of course

it would be awful if you fell asleep half way through...

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:54, archived)

I feel gutted now

I was all dead chuffed with myself for having a constructive day and now I'm being reminded about how single I am. Bugger.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:57, archived)

nah, revel in it!

Make the most of it. Being single is a great thing to be.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:00, archived)

Don't be sad

I'd rather have a roast chicken, really, I would.

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:04, archived)

but you get bits of skin

stuck to your willy.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:10, archived)

But I don't

have a willy.

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:22, archived)

i'm not surprised

if youkeep ding that to roast chickens.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:28, archived)

Mike

you remind me of someone i knew called Shock.

You're a star.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:23, archived)

sounds suspiciously like a transgendered performance artist

or am i wrong?

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:29, archived)

Nope and they were far behind you on your list of achievments

I can already see people taking the 'Mike Challenge' to see who can get the highest score.

Perfect for a gang going to the Med. methinks ;)

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:59, archived)

I would like to distance myself...

...from any of my gender who may be guilty of any of the above. Shocking behaviour.

If you can't deliver, don't even start, that's what I say.

Even if it does cause the odd huff... oops... I'm not perfect after all.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:58, archived)

A friend of mine fell asleep when her boyfriend was shagging her when she was pissed

and she woke up the next morning and there was a note by the bed, saying that he loved her but it was over, and she had no idea why. He embarrassingly had to spell it out for her. Heh heh. He should have been better then shouldn't he?!

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:58, archived)

sounds like a fundamental incompatibility...

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:05, archived)

Cheers The Wife for the link below

I knew it! Arse. Boyf is a smoker. Then again, fucking hell, what am I on about, I'm not planning to conceive till I've at least grown up a bit more!!

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:56, archived)

Well at least you haven't been wasting your time

Any chance of a little clip?

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:43, archived)

I'd love to post it

but there's file size issues. I'll compress a bit if you want, but it'll be dead big (can't get decent progressive downloads out of cleaner EZ. Anyone know how I can get decent control over progressive download compression? (ie not pre-set settings that make it shit)

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:46, archived)

This is a stranger who stayed in your shed after the last King Of The Boots BTW.

File size doesn't scare me I've got ADSL. If you can get a clip up cool, if not no sweat :)

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:05, archived)

Oh, Cool!

hiya!
i'm wracking my brains but just... can't... get... memory... to... function.
Sorry, people end up here randomly from time to time. Who were you in the real world again?
That was a great night, I remember that much. And i remember ranting at loads of people. I probably ranted at you too. sorry about ranting. i do that.
*edit* - oh yes, the vid'll be up in a tick. it's 14 megs mind. i'll post it at the top when it's done

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:14, archived)

Hope that doesn't sound rude

I really have no memory at all. I fucked it years ago raving. Can't distinguish which mornings go with which nights, though I'm usually ok with faces. (hasn't always been like that- in the early nineties i couldn't go to the pub without at least one or 2 people I could have sworn I'd never met coming up to me going "alright joel". Also, never ask me to introduce anyone to anyone. I won't know their names. It's horribly, horribly embarrasing and i hate it and wish i could do better.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:24, archived)

Bazzam!

I've dying to put up this rather lame woo yay

(

Jimmeh, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:46, archived)

it may be static...

...but it's a goodie. I like.

In fact... you should do it as scrabble. What's the score?

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:48, archived)

I was going more for crosswords

but scrabble works.
I've only ever played scrabble once when I was 11 or 12 so I couldn't tell you the score.

Funny side note: I made the image out of virtual lego but I can't remember where I found the program :)

(

Jimmeh, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:54, archived)

I think it's 25 total in three turns...

with no multipliers. If it was a game from the beginning, it would be at least 36...

OK. Coat. On my way.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:08, archived)

Oh my lorder!

There's a programme just starting all about Gay Dogs and Lesbian Chimps! I wonder if any b3tan gay dogs will feature!

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:37, archived)

Gay Apes...

I have the show on behind me as I type...

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:39, archived)

arse

my tempramental TV has just broken again. Gotta go and whack it...

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:40, archived)

Not sure about this..

but the real life Big Gay Al's animal sanctuary thing is on C4 now. Should we, shouldn't we ?

(

Si W, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:33, archived)

where did my b3ta time go?

Far too busy at work to b3ta! only managed to check in for a few minutes at lunchtime!

Just been out to see an author friend at a readin/discussion thing with much beer on hand though. Cool for a monday.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:24, archived)

I need to write a new web thingy

or do something to m3ss3ng3r

Suggestions anyone ?

(

flibz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:21, archived)

Hiya, Flibz, you were greatly missed on Friday.

I've got an idea for it, what about when you press "Reply All" it replies to everyone EXCEPT yourself?

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:24, archived)

I bet I wasn't really...

wish I coulda been there

*sigh*

I have no life...

(

flibz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:27, archived)

Ah shutcha face!

If you could be arsed to trawl back through the board to some point on Saturday, you will see a message I put saying I wished you were there or something. So ner.
Next time?

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:30, archived)

Hope so

Done the dont reply to self thingy now ;)

Gimme something big an fun to do...

(

flibz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:31, archived)

my chest HAHAHAHA

um sorry....
Find me a copy of "These are a few of my favourite things" by Julie Andrews...for my next animation

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:35, archived)

i've got a punk cover if thats any use...

but i guess not.

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:39, archived)

I started singing that this afternoon out of the blue.

I was suprised that i knew the words. I think it was kittens that set me off.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:39, archived)

yeah

kittens with mittens and mingers with string...these are few of those mad b3ta things...need to hear the song to sort the lyrics out properly. There's plenty of dogs and bees in it to play around with though.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:42, archived)

I should be so

lucky!

(

flibz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:39, archived)

no, Julie Andrews, not Kylie Minogue

:oP

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:43, archived)

hmmm... cant find it yet

but did find this , which may pre-empt your animation?

(

rockyrobin, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:02, archived)

photoshop tennis

is a popular game
why not make a photoshop tennis manager or something
where contestents play a game which is refereed and it tracks time since last move and allows people to add comments and stuff.

could be very popular...
just a thought..

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:37, archived)

OK,

what are the rules ?

(

flibz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:39, archived)

well, it goes like this

its a 2 player game, but i suppose you could have more..

player1 makes a pic with photoshop and sends it to player2
player2 does "something" with it then sends it back to player1 who does something else

you need a referee to judge whether the changes are legal - ie if one player just replaced the whole pic then thats not right - it has to stay in the same theme or use elements of the original pic

thers no real timelimit but you could impose a timelimit on each player to make their move or they lose, so i suppose it would be handy if it informed players and refs (and any spectators who wanted to know of updates to a match) via email when something has been changed

to be honest i dont really know if there are any proper rules to photoshop tennis, or if there even are any... there may be something that exists like this already...

i dunno :)

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:44, archived)

decisions on winner (or a draw)

could be decided by spectators or referee

you could setup game options before a match like timelimit, no. moves allowed and stuff

then maybe a league could start
it could take over the world! ha ha hahaaaaa!!!
or im just talking crap

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:48, archived)

I'm starting to build this.

Anyone else think it could rock ?

(

flibz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:01, archived)

it looks like there already is one, but it's the only one

http://coudal.com/tennis.html#

but it seems to be geared towards pro designers and stuff (and it sucks a little bit)
im sure you could do much better -and with b3tas huge audience, it could get popular quickly

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:07, archived)

i think you;d also need

to decide on picture formats are going to be used

ie if both players have photoshop then psd's
or paint shop pro then psp's

i suppose at worse it would be jpgs, but that would make it more difficult to edit the opponents pic (but could be interesting)

if it were photoshop only it would kill off potential players, not everyone has it

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:12, archived)

You could have a section for animated gifs

where you carry on from the last frame of 1 to the first frame of the next person's one.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 22:07, archived)

oh yeah

theres a typo in messenger

the top frame, right hand side - theres an e where there should be a 3

(

DaWolfey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:39, archived)

Not any more

there isn't

(

flibz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:44, archived)

At least

Some people are on it now, thats good.

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:40, archived)

For nacho

The beer lives in the outside toilet, and the wine is under the stairs. God I hope none of you find out where we live..

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:13, archived)

Thats

a lovely picture.... mmmmm....

(ZZZzzz, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:16, archived)

Mmm

You seem to live in some kind of magical booze palace. Me Jealous.

(

Craymen, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:17, archived)

Protected by

the mighty drink straw crustacean.

(

nicey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:29, archived)

I SEE GIN!

SCAN IN THE WEDDING PHOTO!! I have a photo of you, but I still have Nicey in my head as being Will Self!
I can't believe I've got half a bottle of vodka left from the weekend. I would love to have a drinks cabinet and come home from work and choose what I fancied pouring myself. I'd feel all posh.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:19, archived)

Mostly

we drink the bottom shelf. There's some scary stuff on the middle shelf that comes out for parties.
I was thinking about you the other day when Will was on telly. Nicey is nothing like that.

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:22, archived)

the things on the middle shelf

are in interestingly shaped bottles.

My mum moved house and cleared out her drinks cabinet, so what with that and the odd party the top of tomsk and me's fridge is moderately interesting these days.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:24, archived)

I wish I had a digital camera hjere...

I've got a bottle of strange german spirit which is shaped like the East Berlin TV tower.

With a picture of said tower on the label so that you know.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:29, archived)

Ooh, Czec version of Baileys

comes in a tall thin bottle and is called Kronk. Kronk on the rocks c'mon.

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:31, archived)

I also have a scary liquor from Estonia...

called Tallin, which is just hideous. Not a very interesting bottle, but outrageously nasty. Roughly 50/50 aviation fuel and Nitromors, I think.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:37, archived)

The odd bottles are

Galliano, ammaretto, cassis, angistors bitters and grand marnier. The rest are all basics, rum, vodka gin, port etc. Bottom shelf - lots and lots of different Irish Whiskey. Hmmm. I may have to finish my beer quickly and drink some of that.

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:38, archived)

angostura bitters!

proper cocktail stuff! Respec' to Nicey and TheWife!

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:42, archived)

I didn'[t originally think he was like that at all,

I dunno why I dreamt that. I don't imagine you to hang around with a gang of bikers either, but you did in that dream!
My boyfriend looks like what you would get if you mixed together Louis Theroux, Rodney Trotter and Picachu.
HA HA HA HA

(Nacho, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:26, archived)

Nicey

is a bit like Homer Simpson. And I am a bit of a biker, I bike to work on my 125 scooter. It's fab and I love it. Leathers and all...

(

Wifey, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:33, archived)

It's there...

It's drunk, know how you feel. But Crab and I went to France the weekend before last so I'm drowning in wine and Stella.
I've discovered how little will power I really have.

(

Si W, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:22, archived)

Anti-beer

I've had too much coffee, and now I can't keep still.

I'm happy to share shagging stories, though.

j

(

syzygy, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:36, archived)

go on then

you first

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:48, archived)

On Radio 1 at 11.

A documentary thing on Bootlegs etc. I think there was someone at a King Of The Boots making it.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:11, archived)

day of mourning..

my hard disc has died *sniff*..
found psp and a old laptop, so I'll survive...

*goes back into mourning..

(minoltion, Mon 22 Apr 2002, 21:08, archived)

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