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i didn't wipe my bottom enough and now it itches

but if i scratched it where it itched my finger would smell like poo.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:57, archived)

go and wipe again then

quick, before it gets all crusty!

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:59, archived)

i had a nasty feeling

after breaking wind earlier, but fortunately the warm sensation in the region of my butt was merely some trapped gas.

(

stouffer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:59, archived)

i ate a bad egg

i think.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:02, archived)

Nice

I'm going commando today, ahh freedom

(

Spoon, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:00, archived)

i dunno

what it is, but i just can't relax when i'm hanging loose

(

stouffer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:01, archived)

I'm just doing it

coz i had to get up quickly to answer the phone and i haven't got round to getting dressed properly yet. Kind of enjoying the experience though.

The joys of 'working' from home

(

Spoon, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:02, archived)

i always get

pubes stuck in my zip if i go commando.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:03, archived)

tell me mike

what colour are your pubes?

(

stouffer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:04, archived)

depending what else i get stuck in my zip

they are occasionally bloodsoaked.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:06, archived)

You better give

it a good wipe quick or it'll become a swollen, rose-like sting which will only be treatable with cold water shooting at high pressure from your shower head directly on to the affected area.

...Or so I'm told...

(

helmetcream, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:07, archived)

i guess i should wipe

the blood and phlegm off my bell-end then?

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:09, archived)

or just leave your butt

till it gets really bad, then go to doctors, who'll grease their finger then stick it up your ass and wiggle it round. i imagine.

(

stouffer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:12, archived)

cool!

thats closest i'm gonna be to getting any for the time being...

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:19, archived)

look quickly before 20m.com eats it!

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:29, archived)

yay

that has been saved onto my computer for later use...

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:38, archived)

hey, I like looking at cooch as much as the next guy...

but I prefer it in it's natural state, not mutilated by spandex.

(cooch=wheel mouse)

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:52, archived)

nnggg...must look

away...but...can't...becoming...hypnotizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(

stouffer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:54, archived)

Urgh!

(

helmetcream, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:04, archived)

that is

fucking ace

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:19, archived)

Aw thanks!

That cat is a fucking freak.

(

helmetcream, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:27, archived)

It all makes sense

after seeing the secret plan.

(

rob, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:41, archived)

Thats where i was going wrong then

I was going down down down left right up right down, instead of down down down left right up LEFT down. Thanks to the map i now know where i was going wrong

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:45, archived)

Oh my god!

It all seems so clear to me now! It all fits together!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:45, archived)

noooo

it's terrifying...

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:51, archived)

just image searched for furtive

and found this clicky new hmmm...

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:40, archived)

Blimey!

We was certainly being furtive on that day!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:44, archived)

If like me you're too lazy to think for yourself, use the:

Evil Plan Generator

(icedragon, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:37, archived)

I always

needed to know how to unleash a needlessly big weather machine from the island of Mu. What a handy guide.

(

Staticgirl, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:55, archived)

Updated the kitty bash game

Now its actually got a point (kind of).
Clicky

(

weebl Mashed farts, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:30, archived)

woo!

but can we have more blood?

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:34, archived)

and Love Cats by the Cure playing

just the bassline bit ...

(

rob, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:35, archived)

Since Im not busy today why not. More blood and the lovecats bass line coming up. Any more requests?

(

weebl Mashed farts, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:36, archived)

How about

2 points per cat hit, 1 point deducted for a missed cat. That way every cat counts!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:39, archived)

you sure you want that?

Seems a bit harsh to me. But I'll put it in.

(

weebl Mashed farts, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:00, archived)

things popping up that you shouldn't hit?

er.. bombs?

er.. maybe the kittens sometimes wear protective ear socks - and this takes 3 hits.

(

rob, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:40, archived)

earsocks

i like that

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:52, archived)

Whats everyones highscore?

100 on my second attempt. My momma must be proud :)

(

Spunkmeyer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:36, archived)

Yay me

I got 69

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:37, archived)

OH! How dare you

tell me my sorry assed finger is too weak to click!

...I like kitties anyway, don't want to bash kitties...mumble mumble growl growl.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:38, archived)

there is clearly

something wrong with my computer and that's why I only got 30.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:39, archived)

duh

girls + games = badness

(

stouffer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:40, archived)

tcha.

I'm not even going to dignify that with a respons...

...damn.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:49, archived)

your weakness

lets you down again dr kitten. i felt terribly bond villain-esque typing that.

(

stouffer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:55, archived)

Woo!

I scored 96. Thats cool :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:39, archived)

107

kick ass!

(

Spunkmeyer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:51, archived)

me=sad girl

69 and that's with practice...

(

Staticgirl, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:02, archived)

i just read that

without reading the beginning of the thread. very strange out of context ;)

(

buttercup, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:35, archived)

ok...wtf...

are they stuffing these with?

from the people who make ugly
couch covers!

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:29, archived)

Oh fucksocks

The cuntyminting andrew washington, pissflapping wank bastard bank is still refusing to let me use my credit card. CUNTS

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:26, archived)

Sigh

What ever happened to andy washington?

(Dean, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:29, archived)

I think

he manages S Club Junior

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:30, archived)

He turned agaist us

And put up on his site that we were imature or something.
Twat. Ha, i didnt like him anyway

edit: this is what he put:
removed until further notice due to infestation of juvenile delinquents from www.b3ta.com

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:31, archived)

Shush!

SHhh! and do not speak his name!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:31, archived)

are you

all gay?

i recall him saying once

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:34, archived)

yes.

we are all jolly and gay and full of fun.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:39, archived)

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up? :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:31, archived)

shhhhhh...

...

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:32, archived)

Sorry

It just seemed like the correct term to use because he was a cunt like the bank

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:34, archived)

Yes.

But SHHHHH!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:41, archived)

Ok sorry again.

Topic closed...

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:42, archived)

Ahh, freshly minted cunties

(

Spoon, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:29, archived)

Apologies for the repost......

Just wondering if anyone knows of anywhere I can get old Knightmare episodes from? I miss it so :-(

(

Spunkmeyer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:17, archived)

yes

I miss the old ones when everyone died in the first room or so. It got crap latter on when nobody died.

(Wallz, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:21, archived)

yeah,

got really shit when they introduced the "eyeshield"- a blatant excuse to waste 5 minutes of the program showing what looked like a forest viewed through a cheap webcam

(

Spunkmeyer, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:30, archived)

A quick google finds

people who will sell you VHS copies over here, but they don't have anything to download. There are some short clips here.

I'd love to find some full episodes to download.

(

giblethead2000, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:36, archived)

"Fucksocks" an appropriate swearthing to scream when you miss an important call?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:13, archived)

Me thinks

"bra panties" is better due to the fact a very small child shouted it at me whilst i was at work the other day i laughed and he called me a "bugger"

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:16, archived)

Kids eh?

They don't teach em how to swear like they used to.

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:18, archived)

Yeah

It would have been twice as funny if he ran up to me and shouted
"FUCK"

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:21, archived)

"Fucksocks".

How do you reply to a heckle like that.

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:23, archived)

yes

that whats mummy and daddy forgot to put on when the made you, you little fuck wit

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:26, archived)

Hmmmmm

Its good. But I would have said bum tit bum tit.

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:20, archived)

he looks better in colour

(

rob, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:08, archived)

And he still

vaguely reminds me of comic-book-store-guy.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:17, archived)

ah.

my adsl must have been down the day you discussed him.

(

rob, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:18, archived)

comic store guys

I go to a comic shop where the guy looks like Quentin Tarantino so that solves the mystery of where he's been then

(

Staticgirl, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:20, archived)

well

the way the fake pink skinsuit's been peeled back to reveal his true yellow hand is kind of a giveaway.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:22, archived)

funny you should mention that...

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:37, archived)

Yes.

I was secretly hoping someone would post this :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:51, archived)

He must ard got himself in a bit

of a pickle

*coat*

(

breel, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:21, archived)

click and drag tight pant qtvr fun!

clicky wicky let's get sticky

(

big daft dave, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:01, archived)

hmmm

that looks kinda kinky

(

rockyrobin, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:05, archived)

hehe

Nice, i played with two of them, then got bored

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:05, archived)

agh!

ultra camel-toe action! I can think I can see her uterus through that leotard!

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:06, archived)

did you see the one where she walks up the chap?

crazzzeeee!

(

big daft dave, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:08, archived)

Someone was asking

for a foto to potatoslop..

(actual pic is bigger when u save it to make for easier slopoplotting)

(

loolah potato, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:58, archived)

Ive just noticed

The sign at the back says Fort Dix. Could be confused as Fort Glass Cock.

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:50, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

etc.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:55, archived)

Fort Glass Cock

Home Of The Ultimate Weapon..

(

loolah potato, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:54, archived)

les dennis has an udder

Les has dropped a bombshell...he has an udder

Les's udder

(biggytitbo, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:56, archived)

ROTFLMAO

HEHEHE

(

flibz, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:33, archived)

nice one groaky

so do you run Chairman Moo then, cos I just got that story there for Funny News

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:50, archived)

Who ever runs it is an

absolute gee-nee-iiuuss

(

Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:10, archived)

Ping Pong Kitty

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:53, archived)

yes u are

(richyboy, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:55, archived)

I watched this for 5 mins

making "ping pong" noises.

(

rob, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:18, archived)

i fancied a change from pics

so here are some sounds instead, found in the depths of my hard drive:

holy grail
scarface
pulp fiction
a-team
south park
dukes of haz

and finally, one for just about everyone on this board:

work

BTW you might wanna be careful who's listening when you play some of these, ooops... too late

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:45, archived)

Dukes

Dukes of Haz is quiet good when played repetatively at random time intervals... better than aphex twin ;)

(

armaitus Sheep Casings!, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:50, archived)

maybe

someone can make a tune out of em all...

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:51, archived)

what do u mean

by a tune exactly?

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:11, archived)

a song

a piece of music, a bootleg or whatever.

tune (noun) taken from the clubber latin/l33t speak 'ch00n' to denote a quality record often accompanied (a few years ago now) by making a 'T' with your hands in the direction of the DJ box to show appreciation in an entirely un-ironic gesture

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:29, archived)

did an image search for hitler

and found this page full of photos of hicks.
clicky

edit: Rob if your there, why do my messages keep getting extra html added to them? Is anyone else having this problem?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:43, archived)

what on earth is this?

(

bazman, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:53, archived)

jewish princess

with vaseline on the lens.

(

rob, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:59, archived)

It must be one of those

girl-men everyone keeps telling me about!

now this guy knows what's going on

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:01, archived)

Frightening

Honestly these people terrify me...

(

armaitus Sheep Casings!, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:28, archived)

That's my dearest Mama I'll have you know....

or is it Papa, I can't tell these days....oh well

(

Ted, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:03, archived)

That

has to be the most frightening collection of hicks I have ever encountered

(

armaitus Sheep Casings!, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:04, archived)

Warning!

Kidnappers Working In The Area

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:35, archived)

You are fucking

SICK! and I hope you die! (somewhat)

(jonomac, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:37, archived)

Come On.......

Just admit it you thought it was funny and don't like me cause i made you wet yourself!

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:39, archived)

I didn't mean it at all,

I thought it was the "in" catch phrase of the moment is all.
Previously I would have said "Dope, dope. Wiggy-wiggy. Dope, dope".

(jonomac, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:48, archived)

You, my friend,

are a fucking sick bastard and I hope you rot in hell for that picture.
*ahem*

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:02, archived)

Am I the only one...

... who looked at this waiting for a furtive incursion?

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:39, archived)

I'm Sorry....

I have a perfectly good Gif animator but i can't use it cause im to lazy to spend half an hour animating it!

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:42, archived)

Dammit Janet -

and I was so looking forward to seeing that bear

(wingnut, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:45, archived)

well im so sorry i couldt make u

happy

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:49, archived)

you mean

you can't see one?

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:47, archived)

Ah, yes!

I can see it now. You just have to wait long enough (and look at it from the right angle).
That's a nice cloak you're wearing, BTW, Sire. Fabulous material!

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:54, archived)

someone got a link

to the original furtive pic everyone uses i will animate to make the masses happy i need it layered mind

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:58, archived)

One FuCK [1] coming up

woo/yay/houpla

[1] Furtive Construction Kit

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:55, archived)

no not that one -

this one:

(

rockyrobin, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:59, archived)

excellent

;)

(

randomisgood, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:00, archived)

you beat me to it!

shalln't bother now...harrumph!

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:01, archived)

sorry.

but i'm sure you could do it better, have a go!

(

rockyrobin, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:02, archived)

ahhhhh

cunty mints that was my idea bet that makes front page now damn you and your infernal slacking off work

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:03, archived)

well:

1) I'm a student. I dont work any time.
2) It was a faily obvious one though wasn't it.
3) I cant fucking hummus.

(

rockyrobin, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:06, archived)

im a ......

1) lazy bum
2) i work in safeways
yeah it was and i was gunna do it anyways i still want the furtive pic
and wtf with the hummus?

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:09, archived)

here ya go

furtive.props go to whoever i got it from, memory is a blank.

(

rockyrobin, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:15, archived)

only if

he re-posts it as the start of a thread.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:07, archived)

not sure

its entirely front page material - a bit boring. I'll tinker with it and then we'll see

(

rockyrobin, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:09, archived)

i want

the original furtive pic so i can have some furtive fun of my own

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:13, archived)

there is a secret link

somewhere to a load of optimized originals...
but i can't fucking hummus!

^^^ooh ooh...there's one...up there!^^^

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:17, archived)

yeah i just realised

where my comp is he crappiest in the world it doesnt show replies to my messages for about 5-6 refreshes on the toolbar

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:20, archived)

try a

ctrl-f5
or add a ? onto the end of the url

(

rockyrobin, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:21, archived)

Dammit

how do i get just furtive i got crappy green shite in the background

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:25, archived)

ok try

this but you'll have to manually remove the penguin

(

rockyrobin, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:28, archived)

that

sounds painfull and rude

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:30, archived)

Probably

Still wont work but oh well i think i may go soon and make some fun

(Sacrifice Theory, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:37, archived)

See link above wot I just

posted after yer first request.

or you could just clicky-woo here

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 12:02, archived)

After being forced to walk the streets identifying herself as a criminal

She would be listed on a register of potato thieves so that law abiding citizens would know that there was a potato thief living in their midst.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:34, archived)

she shoulda gone potatoshopping

(

Staticgirl, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 11:09, archived)

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