Blond whispy haired dude goes all fantasy and crocodile-awesome whilst singing something that might have been done in the 80's. It's 4 minutes long, watch it all the way though, then wonder about what you just saw!
Shine by chris dane owens.
Apologies if already posted, etc
I like the witches.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:31, Reply)
Bros, Duran Duran, Rick etc...
Maybe the irony is the point, but in this case, I'm just not feeling this from your introduction!
EDIT:
Sorry, I meant that was Shite!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:42, Reply)
it's either a lack of irony. A waste of money (The singer is some tv producer). A cynical attempt to make money in Japan. A work of genius. A sign as to why the recession will be a good thing.
I can't stop watching it... but the music on it's own is a bit pah.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:44, Reply)
Can't stop looking. But by god, it's awful. I can't imagine anyone saying yes to that pitch.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:05, Reply)
Japanese robot baby blinks its LED eyes and bleeps as it walks along. If it gets knocked over it cries like a baby bird until you right it.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:52, Reply)
is far more irritating than the toy.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:38, Reply)
to keep the newsletter going for months!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:43, Reply)
Ive had a really bad day,
and this has melted my heart.
I owe you one.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:21, Reply)
send this to all your friends to watch get , i want my own show on bbc three and i will invite you all on it.
I know people who use the internet are full of hate for other people (including me) but for once lets do something nice together.....look into your heart.......
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:19, Reply)
with will mellor sticking his hand in a blender
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:27, Reply)
to be a particular success? Is that why you are sharing it with us?
I'm not "full of hate", I'm just interested in your motivation.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:37, Reply)
Anyone can jump on a stage and be "bereft of any form of humour", of which this person clearly is.
Constructive criticism.
Practice your material on work colleagues first. (Not family, as your mum, dad, and gran will always tell you, you are fantastic even if you are shit. Thats what parents are for.)
*work colleagues may in fact tell you, you are fantastic even when you are shit. Just so that you can embaress yourself further in the future.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:36, Reply)
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:11, Reply)
Good to see you back, because it means you'll be banned and I'll never have to witness this abomination again. Have you not realised that being a not funny twat precludes you from being successful on the stand-up circuit?
Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:39, Reply)
/Hi m2v.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:04, Reply)
First of all, check your facts.
I am a perfectly cheery person thank you very much. I passed comment on a video that was posted, which I was well within my rights to do. If you really have that much of a problem, feel free to ignore me.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:48, Reply)
thats a bit rich coming from someone who's only been here 3 months...
This is not the place to slag off other members' work. If you don't like it, don't say anything, and don't click "I like this"
maybe you should take some of your own medicine?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:57, Reply)
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:02, Reply)
I am governed by...
This is not the place to slag off other members' work. If you don't like it, don't say anything...
So I cannot say anything.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:00, Reply)
I hope you're not using humour as a means of fighting depression or to stop psychotic episodes. If you are, prepare to be sad and murdery.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:40, Reply)
Number 4 - the horsecock fish:

And what / who does that first one look like? Some 80's cartoon character i can't name...
//linky fixedy.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:16, Reply)
much like the knickers of most of the girls i know... "calm down dear!"
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:19, Reply)
how does it kill its prey? actually.. scratch that.. I dont want to know
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:28, Reply)
www.popsci.com/environment/article/2008-12/natures-grossest-creatures
full article :)
edit: checkout no 12...tapeworm cdc! lol
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:52, Reply)
Cat really likes broccoli and will kill anyone who tries to take it away :)
I would be tempted to try my cats with some but they are farty enough at the moment as it is.
As seen on Icanhascheezburger, so sorry for anyone else who goes on there. I don't THINK it's been on here, but most cat vids seem to be at some point
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:45, Reply)
Only kidding, he is absolutely adorable. Good job he doesn't take after his dad!
How's fatherhood finding you?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:14, Reply)
Crazy mogs ftw, that's brilliant!
First lolcat video I've seen too
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:28, Reply)
to the dog. He loved it.
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:21, Reply)
A truck full of weed found in Arizona, painted UPS brown and even stickered-up with the proper reflective decals. Not stolen, but cloned with a registration plate of a real truck. Makes me wonder how often that happens, and how successful they've managed to be...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:45, Reply)
If I'm not mistaken, it was a hand-painted license plate. Lordy. The lengths people will go to.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:26, Reply)
Is it supposed to be funny, cos I don't see any puns? All I see are shit looking shops, some of which are similar to those around here...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:37, Reply)
how good is this album!!
its full of ace tunes. anyone agree, or am i a bit strange?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:03, Reply)
I'd buy it.
That ELO song is great innit? I hope i'm not old enough to remember it though
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:07, Reply)
Oh how I cant wait for this to be developed a bit further. How good would it be to be able to sit down and play back last nights dreams.
Or better still to be able to get a pet version and see just what your dog is dreaming about when his little legs are going and hes making strange little barky noises in his sleep.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:55, Reply)
I dreamt last night that me, my boyfriends family and Richard and Judy got taken away by nazis in cattle trains to a place in the russian wastelands where there were loads of disused planes and nuclear material. Then they left us there to die in the extreme heat and cold.
I think this means i need some kind of psychiatric help.....
Oh and I always remember my dreams anyway.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:59, Reply)
I remember mine as well but Id still like to sit and watch them back on the TV.
I dream some really strange stuff. Will let you know when I come up with something to beat your Richard and Judy holocaust episode though.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:03, Reply)
and people who dont, they worry me...
your dream sounds like some i have, but i hope you get them as often as me, ie: once a year.
i had one where i was being marched through the desert bare foot with a comrade, every now and then these germans would beat us senseless for being slow or whatever. finally after what seemed days the sound of tanks. my stomach dropped... but it was the tommys! they pointed a tank barrel at my head before they realised i was one of them. most fearful moment in any dream i ever had, lookin down that barrel.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:10, Reply)
i once had a dream were i found a porno my parents were in. i do NOT wish to watch that back
cool i dea though
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:05, Reply)
What it would do for someone who is a lucid dreamer.
I would like to study upon this.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:06, Reply)
Im going to be watching this closely. Id love to see how it develops.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:23, Reply)
that when a mainstream paper publishes a story about a demo mind-reading machine, none of the conspiracy theory nutters on here comment.
This makes me suspect even more that they're special agents hired to make paranoia about anything look crazy and ridiculous.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:29, Reply)
quite obviously, good job there.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:48, Reply)
The idea is absolutely terrifying, and it comes from a reputable source, but none of the tinfoil hat crowd have commented. Either they're part of the conspiracy or they think their hats will protect them.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:19, Reply)
I mean, I always thought it was possible. It's really kind of terrifying how any conversation can be immediately brought to a halt by two word phrases like "conspiracy theory" and "tinfoil hat".
They literally mean "oh, I don't have to think about this, I already know what's going on here."
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:21, Reply)
the conspiracy theorists on here do kind of confound any valid point with their bullshit. Like Dekonplexis posting a video of a soldier on leave getting his head kicked in by the police, then making loads of patronising generalisations about all soldiers being brainwashed shells and war being a game. Or The Goat posting loads of links to a guy that believed that aircraft vapour trails were filled with mind control gas.
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:38, Reply)
possibly never. Localising neurons for perception of lines is one thing, but there is still no consensus on which neurons, or networks of neurons are involved in more perceiving more complex scenes, certain memories, audiovisual memories, audiovisual perception... etc.
It makes a nice bullshit story for the telegraph to fill a page with though, especially the bit about the retina recognising images. The retina doesn't do anything like recognition.
/endgeekrant
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:55, Reply)
Someone tell David Attenborough
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:02, Reply)
Hot off the press... brand new innovation in the field of washing babies.. BUCKETS!

(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:37, Reply)
You probably all know this but you can now link to a certain time in a video.
add something like this to the URL #t=1m37s
Doesn't seem to work when you embed it on b3ta though...
see here for more details:
youtube blog
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:37, Reply)
Made for the RSPCA, a great animation from the guy that does Simon's Cat :)
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:32, Reply)
I love this guy's stuff. I was only wondering the other day if he was going to do anything else! Obviously its not as good as a cat one, but expect to see it posted on here twelvty thousand times in the next few weeks!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:56, Reply)
(it is on the popular page too)
Still, cracking video.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:29, Reply)
Don't worry about it. I swear there are some people who sit staring at this screen, refreshing constantly, just waiting for a moment to say something is GC. And then becoming aroused.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:36, Reply)
and porn isn't working any more.
also glass cock spotting is a sport
Edit: oh yeah, although it is the 4th most popular link - it is to something unembeddable - so understandable how you would miss it.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:39, Reply)
*sits*
*stares*
*refreshes page*
*sits*
*stares*
*gets aroused*
*etc, etc*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:41, Reply)
Its just amazing to think that some people like to celebrate by strapping explosives on the end of a big hammer and twatting the ground. Its just the natural progression from shooting guns in the air. Cant wait to see what the next step is.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:59, Reply)
(when I was wee boy) we'd sometimes have School trips to France for the day. Which meant we'd smuggle back tons of Bangers that you couldn't get in the UK. Mostly we'd stick them under cardboard boxes and let them off! Just goes to show you what sort of
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:05, Reply)
I went on a French exchange. I bought back a load of bangers in my hand luggage on the plane. Nobody batted an eyelid. Wasnt picked up by a scanner nothing. How I wince at the thought of what could have happened. If I had done that 20 years later, I be currently living in a cage in Cuba.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:27, Reply)
What the fuck is the back story to this one then? Hammers, Check. Explosives, check. comedy explosion, check!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:44, Reply)
This is the best passage (no pun intended) for me.
"Not content with buggering each other, they now want to dock their loathsome schooners in our windward passages!"
Id be happy to dock my 'Loathsome Schooner' anywhere that would have it to be honest.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:31, Reply)
I sent this into the newsletter ages ago.
edit; www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue254/
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:26, Reply)
But this site doesn't work for me at all, it's like it doesn't exist...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:39, Reply)
The name of the chippy is very apt i thought!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:52, Reply)
Although I doubt its an uncommon name. Im sure there are several of them out there cursing the 'leader of the gang'
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:36, Reply)
so forgive me if I don't cry my eyes out
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:38, Reply)
If we are tossing up between them killing innocent people, which they frequently do, or themselves I know which end result I'm going for.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:53, Reply)
i didnt read that bit i take it back. i thought customers and owners of the shop had been killed
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:01, Reply)
I'd never noticed that asperger's is pronounced ass-purgers.
Well, that's never going to leave me now, ever. I hope you're happy....
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:44, Reply)
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