inapropriate? maybe not :P
as a young lad prolly bout 6-8 yrs old our school used to do swiming lessons (pretty common me thinks:)...

one day the teacher made a girl lie on the diving board and was explaining about resusitation(?).

now i didnt understand at the time what girls and boys did *ahem* but i remember it was the first time i ever had a boner. in front of the whole class.. hehe nonone seemed to notice tho! maybe they all were just as interested in her naughty bits as me ;) or i was a "little" lad in more way than one :P who knows... it was enlightening.
and lots of sexy teachers *puts design technology folder over pubic region*. but thas about as common as grass on a lawn...

first post. wee
(MajorAsshole when will then be now?, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 1:26, Reply)

For monstermunchqueen:
pandatoast.org/mov/tmntnet2.mov
([sic] You're ad here?, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 0:57, Reply)

Give me a frock coat any day...
Men in period costume...aww man, i don't know what it is about them but god i can't get enough of it! Especially Johnny Depp in Sleepy Hollow oooh..
Breeches, long coat and slightly wild hair...*blush*
(nettleface, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 0:41, Reply)

Earl Tostig
You should be suffocated...there's even that episode where Peter tries to breastfeed Stewie...sick!

Having said that there's something strange that happens in my head everytime a mental/real image of someone happily/voluntarily exploding...and it's no even all the time, but it's the best thing to get me going. The mental images are usually of a sexual exploding nature as well...

try it if you like...as for me? I'm going to down a pint of arsenic.
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Sun 5 Feb 2006, 23:27, Reply)

And
that film 'From Hell'. Cant tell if its because its such an atmospheric film or just because Johnny Depp makes me uncontrollably randy.
(Legs 11 last got some loving on, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 22:43, Reply)

Poonies
give me teh horn. Poonies for those who dont understand my welsh dialect is like a little cuddle or a stroke. When someone just strokes or runs their fingers over your skin. Oh, poonies on the back of ur neck is lovely! The boyfriend found this out last weekend :)
(Legs 11 last got some loving on, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 22:40, Reply)

I dont understand
jeremy clarkson of top gear i cant explain it....oh ima 18 year old girl...just really gets me going i just saw him aswell ahhhhh excuse me wont u??
(Fluent In Bentish Living in Scatman's World, tis being fun!, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 22:33, Reply)

Peter Griffin's
(side boob)
(PD Jameses, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 22:22, Reply)

army
Quite a few years back, I was on a bus with a friend of mine. The bus was crowded and we all had to stand practically pressed up against each other. He was wearing a loose t-shirt, but to steady himself he'd grabbed onto the pole right next to me, meaning his bare arm was just inches away from my mouth.. I had the almost irresistable urge to bite into his arm, then continue upwards, but instead I just stood there not able to concentrate on much else for the rest of the journey.
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 21:34, Reply)

sorry :(
Rememeber the teenage mutant ninja turtle link in the newsletter about a year ago, mmmmmmmmmmmmm pervy! just tried the link and its gone, so sad so sad :(
www.people.fas.harvard.edu/~janicak/tmntnet2.mov
(monstermunchqueen a queen for the people, by the people, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 21:34, Reply)

Okay, this is the last one. For now.
David Tennant.

It just feels wrong now that he's Doctor Who.
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 20:31, Reply)

Top of the Pops
Fearne Cotton; Dot's daughter.


she's number one.
(tootlepip, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 20:30, Reply)

Lingerie
Not so inappropriate, you might think. The thing is, as well as it turning me on when it is worn by sexy ladies (I'm only human), it also does the same for me if it is worn by sexy skinny blokes (Bisexualist, aren't I?).

That bit in Breakfast on Pluto with Cillian Murphy in the yellow bra got me going quite a bit. And when he's in a negligee towards the end.



Obviously there's the Rocky Horror Picture Show as well.

I like wearing it too...
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 20:29, Reply)

Keeping Up Appearances
Coincidentally, isn't the woman who played Rose in Keeping Up Appearances dead now?

*checks IMDb*

Yeah. About eight years ago. Ooooh noooo.

And if she was still alive, she'd be 70 now.
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 20:21, Reply)

Biggerstaff
Amazongirl! Me too! I was so disappointed that he wasn't in the third or fourth films. Such a sexy accent.

Plus his name (both character and real names) have such potential for innuendo.

Fill me with your Biggerstaff. My, what a Biggerstaff. Oliver's Wood. Etc.

He's good and legal. Hurrah!

I'm a boy, and he's not gay or bi. Bollocks.
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 20:19, Reply)

Roommate passion
I had a roommate I was absolutely in love with, a beautiful petite blond girl. My other roommate was sadly her boyfriend, so nix my chances. I was reading one night, when I heard a thumping, and started listening closer, turned on. I'm not sure exactly when I realized it was the washing machine imbalanced, but it was a very sad to be aroused by an inanimate object.
(mikebaja, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 19:38, Reply)

Hairdressers
My wifes hairdresser is something very special. My hair was due for a cut (something I do myself with the clippers on number 1), but this time I thought I'd let her loose on my bonnet!

All was going well until she came around the front to do my fringe.

I had the best view of these perfectly shaped lady bumps known to man.

Christ knows how I managed to contain myself.
(a5972s, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 19:34, Reply)

Nanette Newman
I cant do the dishes without getting the horn
(Paul1574 dont mind me im just lurking...., Sun 5 Feb 2006, 18:39, Reply)

Rollercoasters!
The sudden adrenaline rush or something always leaves me a bit um flustered!

Plus those things vibrate a hell of a lot (im a girl btw)

Woo! that is all...

P.S. my mate reckons German gives him teh horn, the language not the people....he's a strange boy
(Hot Lemon, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 17:29, Reply)

::sigh:: I keep finding more, don't I?
Two words- anime villains.

Children's anime villains.

At least they're older than I am. I'm not that much of a pervert. Yet. Harry Potter. Bath scene. Hee.

(( By the way, I'm in my mid-teens. Not someone's mum on a shotacon rampage. ))
(Cyndia has shuriken in her pompoms, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 17:06, Reply)

My mate James (again)
When we were at 6th form college there was the obligitory dress up day for Children in Need (or some shit charity). Needless to say all the repressed lads in the year took it as an excuse to dress up as women.

We were over in Tesco's (opposite York 6th Form for those in the know) and a strapping 6ft fella walks past; in a mini-skirt, blonde wig, stuffed bra and tights.

James:Check that out, you would wouldn't you?
Me:Er, James, It's a bloke....
James:Oh
(cue several seconds of silence and a pondering look on his face, much like a dog attempting calculus for the first time)
Jame:But you would wouldn't you?

At which point we developed a crab like ability to shuffle sideways away from him.
( Mastic, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 16:49, Reply)

On some common themes in this thread
I'm starting to feel a little cheated.
20/20+ vision means no sexy optician experiences (the only person in my family who doesn't wear glasses)
I've trimmered or shaved my own head for about 15 years now, so no hair salon semis.
Living in a small city and riding my bike almost everywhere means there's few opportunities for any of those public transport moments.
(sigh)
Haven't seen this Harry Potter bath scene yet, but can safely state in advance that it definitely ISN'T going to work for me either.
But on the other hand, the idea of getting to see Hermione's 'golden snitch' . . . would that be inappropriate enough? I'm quite prepared to wait till it's legal . . .
(kiki chunt now available in blank, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 16:32, Reply)

not really an exhibitionist, but . . .
I used to do life-study modelling for local artists: I'd been on the other side of the easel too, knew the whys and what-fors, so it seemed like a nice idea to give something back. 2hrs a week sat in the buff in front of strangers also nearly doubled my dole money, so it was too good a job to refuse.

There's nothing at all erotic about it - imagine being naked and trying to hold very still while under close scrutiny by a dozen strangers: if anything it has quite the reverse effect, and my usually respectable looking flaccidity would do it's best impersonation of Michelangelo's 'David'. The bastard. I wasn't even too phased when a pretty young goth girl I knew socially joined the class.

Well, that was the case until the last class of an 8 week block. A few less artists than usual, a relaxed atmosphere, and a more relaxed pose - me languorously draped across a couch amongst flags. Near the end of the session, I'm in pose, idly musing how accustomed and unconcerned I'd become to doing the job, and out of some self destructive spite, my mind starts throwing up outrageously erotic images . . .

Heart starts pounding, blood flowed south, and my fruits tightened in their bag: thinking hard about skeletal famine children and concentration camp victims stopped me from properly saluting the flag, but it couldn't prevent some obviously visible growth and stirrings. Having trouble contolling my breathing, on the verge of panic but still trying to hold the pose, a couple of huge beads of sweat rolled from my forehead, right down my nose and splashed onto my stomach.
Managed - just - to keep it from reaching 'semi' level, but couldn't stop it from squirming around a bit.

Longest five minutes of my life.
Never did another life class.
Couldn't look the pretty goth girl in the eye again. (Hi Rachel!)

Finally though: a genuinely appropriate reason for having to apologise for teh length?
(kiki chunt now available in blank, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 16:10, Reply)

Primal Fear
When I lost my virginity, the television happened to be on, showing a shite courtroom drama called "Primal Fear."

I wasn't paying attention to the film (bit preoccupied you know) but it still stuck in my head, and now whenever it's on it triggers all sorts of happy sexy memories for me.

For those unfamiliar with the film, it's about a Catholic altar boy murdering a bishop who sexually molested him.
( Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 15:56, Reply)

Sean Biggerstaff, who played Oliver Wood in the first 2 Harry potter movies
Aparently I had a huge grin on my face whe I first saw him on screen.

Hes gorgeous! (and Scottish!)

What really got me was in the 2nd film when he goes "I want us to train bigger, harder and longer..."

Damn you Biggerstaff!

(And yes hes legal, older than me even ) :P
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 15:47, Reply)

Nothing works
any more
(SSSSS, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 15:42, Reply)

Where to begin?
Lots of my 'inappropriate moments' are simply normal erotic moments that happened to happen prior to coming out as a gayer, but some are a little more unusual than that...

Sitting on my dads lap (age 4 I think) watching Avon in Blake's 7. Actually had an orgasm! Didn't know what had happened, so after lights out, went and sat on the loo and stared at little moog to see if I could get him to do it again. Succeeded! First two gos, and I didn't have to touch the thing. I wonder if this is related to me being a 'late bloomer'... Didn't start properly coughing yoghurt until I was nearly 16.

When a sexy (so I was told) gym mistress who also took us for Social Studies leant over me to correct some work and pressed a bosom into my face because I turned at the wrong moment... Not a flicker from me, but plenty of jealousy from some of the other boys. Should have known then, really...

Suspected appendicitis at 12 was fantastic... Mum thought I was just trying to skive, as I'd been reading a medical book the night previous (I wasn't: It blinking hurt at the time). Took me to see the GP, who did tummy exam, and promptly got whisked up to A+E, where an 'absolutely goww-juss' male nurse got three knuckles deep in my rear end. Mum thought the expression on my face was pain. Bless.

More medical examinations when I was 14, as I had to be circumcised. Had to think of Margaret thatcher naked on a cold day on a bike on a cobbled street, racing downhill so her feet were off the pedals. Thankful for both the tasty attending doctor and the fact that they didn't have to shave my new and ever-so-proud-of tuft of tadger hair.

Not much during College and early Uni, and then came out, so started *doing* all the stuff that was deemed 'inappropriate' before that :)

Since? Furry (and reptillian) yiff and erotica rates on my 'I really shouldn't be enjoying this but I am' scale, but its becoming more nominal. Fantastic ass on one of the shop floor production supervisors occasionally has me nipping to the loo for a slightly longer-than-normal constitutional. (He knows I fancy the pants off him, and loves teasing me. His wife isn't so keen though, and keeps me away from him at works parties) I too am glad that young Harry Potter is over 16 now, cos my thoughts during that bath scene were *truly* inappropriate (although it had tinges of reminiscing of some stuff *I* got up to at school, so I don't feel too bad)

Everyone's answers have all given me something to think about. I'm just glad the porn blocker at work doesn't scan text. A quiet browser window in small font in the corner of the screen with a naughty story or two makes the day go oh-so-quickly :) And mates think I'm busy trying to figure out a knotty piece of code!

I'm not going to apologise for length. You asked for it.
( moogthedog, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 14:36, Reply)

Reading...
This list with a warm laptop betwixt my legs. I ain't saying this for the humor factor guys, some of this shit caused an honest-to-god lob-on.

You filthy, filthy fuckers.

Anyway, as a red-blooded heterosexual male, I have no qualms about admitting to getting tingly over:

- Brian Molko in the Pure Morning video.

- Sleeping top and tail with a very attractive male friend

- reading the works of De'Sade.

- Bible Black, see, a few of you snickered, a few more look uncomfortable, the majority give me a bemused look.

- The Song of Songs in RE.

- Holding an airsoft gun to a terrified female companion's head. I know, i'm a baaaaaad person. It was appealing to my attraction to

- That scene in the man with the golden gun

Apologies for length, girth and calibre.
(Slyph, Sun 5 Feb 2006, 12:19, Reply)