found the place from a physical creative magazine (remember them?)
just looked at the front page for about a year pilfering images to send to equally bored friends at work
then i bothered to read the crap to the right of the images and fuck me there was a message board
that's when my productivity really took a dive..

result - sanity at work and meeting some lovely drunken weirdos
happy decade b3ta
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I hate a fuck boring job at Thames Water and a state of the art laptop
someone sent me a funny and I traced it back.

Frankly I wonder how my life would have turned out if I hadn't have found it, I'd probaby be a millionaire. Let's face it, I'm far too fucking good looking to hang out with a bunch of geeks.
( Banana, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I've not been here long, but I'm enjoying it nonetheless.
I've since become immune to all the sick shit the internet has to offer, so erm... thanks, I guess!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:59, Reply)

My Grandma...
...sent me a link to 'B, b, b, b, b, b, Birmingham, POW!' a long while ago, but it was hosted somewhere else. I'm just glad it wasn't 'Funnel or tunnel' instead, as that would have been awkward.

Years later when I followed a link here from somewhere, an image of Dot Cotton as the Joker was on the front page, the 'Invisible extras' image challenge was underway (http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/invisible/) and every second post on the /board's 'gayshift' involved Freebase and/or Vimod, something I found rather 'hatstand'.

Entertained by B3ta's brand of humour, I decided to lurk for a while before joining in, and have checked in daily ever since. I feel my life has been enriched by CDCs, Spangworthy pun posts and all the other great stuff that members produce (oh err).

So happy birthday and a big Woo Yay and Hoopla to B3ta!

And as this is getting a bit too fluffy, you're all a bunch of cunts.
( R.Soul hmmm, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I'm not entirely sure how I found B3ta
all I remember is lurking for a long while before finding the Hummus to shop a kitten; a couple of posts later I was hooked
( Tabazan - Stoneage Dinosaur, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I was a bored (and a little bit lonely) single mum who was adopted by internerds.
I have a lot to thank b3ta for. Namely the following: -

1) My fiance, who is lovely but has a sense of humour wronger than fisting a dead kitten (yeah, thanks for that b3ta)
2) Some of the bestest, awesome mates I will ever, ever know online and off
3) Lu. Evil Lu. She is my rock.
4) Somewhere I can always go to be roundly abused, mocked and occasionally threatened by South African mentals
5) The bashes. Oh sweet shitting Christ the bashes.

You know the best thing about b3ta, though? The fact that no matter where I am in the country, I know I call someone up who I not only know, but share common interests with and get absolutely shit-flinging drunk. It's quite a lovely feeling.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:50, 4 replies)

5 words:
the boss is a cunt!!!!
(softporn 70's sink fixer, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Cat game - late sept 2001
I received the catgame in an e-mail on 25 September. Took me four or five years of lurkage to actually sign up.
/delurk
( Alfred Pimble uninspired since, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

10?
In my day this would have been time for you to grow up and get a proper fucking job.

I think i've been here about 8 years. Posting reguarly for 3 half that time I think.

Couldn't even begin to tell you how I stumbled across the place either.

So, like many stories, this was pointless of me to post really, but it's too late to teach this old dog new tricks.


edit: 'About 8 years' is apparently 5 and a half since I actually signed up. Don't know how long I was here before that, it was quite some time, but i doubt it was 2 and a half years, so maybe I've been here 6 and a half to 7 years. Haven't got any less boring with time though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Got here via sickipedia about four years ago
lurked a bit then signed up . B3ta is like a really good book that writes itself so it you don't have to read it slowly in case you finish it too soon , and you're in the book as well and you can write bits of it if you want to but you don't have to . And there's some horrible tossers as well .

Happy birthday
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

10 years is pretty scary.
And your messageboard engine is still the same. Laudable!



I've been here since around the time of the legendary hemale/shemale quizzes, the No Hands Meme, Bulbmeister's light-based surrealism and Mofoha's still-funny 'Aptils and Gravy' kitteh storys. I remember a time when I'd actually spend all night on the threads creating new pics till the early hours. Happy days.

I paid (once - proud to have my original furtive icon), got a few front pages (thanks Magic Donkey!) and though my posts are rarer that unicorn poo these days, I still lurk now and then, and avidly devour the newsletter on a Sat'd morning in bed.



Big thanks to Rob for linking to my 'cover version' book/records mashups in the newsletter a few years ago which lead to lots of coverage (Guardian, Wired) and lots of unpaid work from the freeloading music industry! Yay to the idea of working for free for the 'prestige of it'. Nobs.

PS: All my WYH images from way back...


























Long may you continue B3ta!

[EDIT] Just looked at my profile - I've been registered for 9 years AND A DAY. So B3ta was 364 days old when I joined.


( LittlePixel, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:40, 1 reply)

I fear I first heard of b3ta from the metro of all places
and it took me several weeks to spot there was a messageboard, but I didn't really feel like a real b3tan until I'd turned up fucking shit faced, and slightly terrified to a bash at the Marie Celeste, where I believe we drank place al-but dry.

To this day a huge number of my friends are agéd b3tans, and thanks to b3ta I've been horrifically drunk at bashes in many cities around the country that I'd otherwise had no reason to visit.
( Pootle, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:39, 2 replies)

a member for 2 years, 9 months and 14 days
But a lurker for much, much, longer. Got to know the site from a friend of mine who posted as 'Rolling Cabbage'. Loved the quizzes, the inks to rathergood.com and, more importantly the stour_falcon picture someone did which adorns my desktop to this day (off and on, the other times being Robocop on a unicorn).
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Those bashes.
God those bashes.

Oh and I fucked Flibz.
(Marwood, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:36, 8 replies)

Back in the mists of time
I used to read and post on popbitch. There was often a mention of another place, so I came to have a look. It was ok, but as I had nothing to say and no access to picture-making programmes at work, I didn't bother to register. When the appeal for cash to keep the site running came along I decided to give Rob a tenner as I enjoyed the site; so I registered to get a furtive icon.

Initially I was going to use my popbitch log in, but just in case I ever needed to remain anonymous over there, I thought I'd just use my real name. Some fuck had taken 'matt' as a username, so, I added the 'new_' prefix. Years later I checked, the original 'matt' had changed his user name and someone else had stolen it. So, 'matt' is #3000 or something which makes me look a cock.

Over the years I was massively excited to use my limited brains, skills and creativity to release crap to the masses. The Sweary Fingers page was my favourite, Diana's Circle still gets mail six years later, the licky monkey to the Johnny Briggs theme tune still makes me chuckle. And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't own 5318008.co.uk.

I am still a newbie though.
( new_matt, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Crikey
9 and a bit years of almost exclusive lurking. No idea what got me here in the first place, but I suspect it may have either been a link from popbitch or a bulletin board I used to frequent with a number of other B3tans.

Too many funnies to pick a favourite, but my girlfriend would probably have never discovered Joel Veitch's Spongmonkeys without B3ta, and the world would be a poorer place without her impressions of them.
(OP, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I can't remember how I stumbled across b3ta
I do remember waiting for my L plates to disappear before doing my first post so I would fit in. Luckily I fucked it up and got a damn good flaming anyway.
( claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Aww, Happy Birthday b3ta!
I was introduced to b3ta by a lovely lady who frequented the same forum I did (Barefoot Doctor if anyone's interested) who has a severely disabled son and who advocated b3ta's humour as a sanity-saver.

Nearly seven years (more in fact as I lurked without joining for a while) and several major life-changes since then and I still think she's right about that. B3ta has remained a constant throughout... the funniest funnies, reliable wrongness and enough genuine cockle-warming humanity amongst to it to give us all a warm fuzzy feeling :)

EDIT: This seems an appropriate place to put this... B3ta is so much more than a website, it's a way of life - one into which I am now indoctrinating the next generation:


( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I remember when
Flanflinger joined and thats about all I can remember
( thebear is thebear, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:21, 2 replies)

I was drawn here by someone who didn't post but read the newsletter
I saw the current competion and was just itching to post..

I've never met some really amazing people on here.
( bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I remember when it was so slow around here
That you could timespazz back and catch up with where you left off. You even had fat_boab doing the weekly gallery of the best pics. And it was all good stuff.

(Apart from when jeff told us YOUR ALL GEEKY TWATS)
( bananaman, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:19, 1 reply)

I was forwarded the he-male or she-male quiz
and then signed up for the newsletter and lurked for a while.

I only joined after a few months... my career was never really the same again
( alistair, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:18, Reply)

10 years. Really.
'Witchy has been a member for 9 years, 8 months and 23 days and has kept Rob, Cal and Pep in sherbets for most of them'

If it wasn't for this place I'd not have met half my lovely idiotic/mental/touched/special* friends or had so many fantastic drunken nights out. I wouldn't know what 'woo/yay/houpla' meant, who Repcak was, why we were all gay and how 'that is fucking sick you bastard I hope you rot in hell'

I wouldn't know how to fucking hummus either.

Found this place thanks to David Stephenson's 'jada' anim featuring maggie thatch shooting lasers from her eyes, oolong the rabbit, parliament on fire and a swedish kids theme tune. Good times.




Sellotape cacophony nuttage.
( witchy is covered in BEES, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I think can remember how I got here...
Someone where I used to work forwarded on one of the b3ta quizzes to the office, and we all wasted about 30 minutes playing through that and the others.

Over the following six months I regularly popped on to the site to look at the front page - that was it - all I looked at were the FP images. It never occured to me to actually look at the rest of the site , I never bothered to venture into the message boards. It was a bit like buying a movie, and just staring at the cover - never actually playing the damn thing.

One day I thought "what is this message board thing?" clicked though and that was it - hooked. I followed the insanity, hummus, ups and downs for another half a year or so before I deceded to actually sign up and post my first image:
b3ta.com/board/7175924

So here's to 10 years of b3ta, may it go on for another ten!
And I think that will be long enough, so you can close it down after that.

( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Virgins
I first became aware of b3ta when the Virgin campaign went tits up
I then lurked for a while before joining up 5 years back, now on to my second profile after posting a pic with the title "Vote Labour, Get brown " which consisted of a woman covered in chocolate that looked like poo


( Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

just a lurker...
...who has a penchant for b3tan valentine cards and had peak readage when inspired by braw lunches from Dave the Facts!
(jandel, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:13, 1 reply)

I remember when it was al THE FEAR round here...
It was here that I learnt about photoshopping stupid things. Once upon a time it hadn't yet been blocked by the office IT polis. Once upon a time I had the time.
( wingpig wish I'd known about liquify eighteen years ago, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I first found b3ta through the 'Sick Jokes' question, which I used to link people to back in 6th form
Ugh, I feel old writing that.

I've been to several bashes, and I've met some absolutely amazing people. BGBs bash last year was absolutely fantastic, it was a real privilege to meet the people who were there, and I hope at some point to meet them all again. If you've never been to a bash, I seriously advise coming to one. I was dragged into attending one, as the organiser (a friend IRL) had to drop out, so I took over what little organisation was required. Since that night, I'd guess I've met about 30-40 b3tans, and I don't think I'd turn down a chance to meet any of them again.

I tend to spend most of my time on /offtopic these days, but am quite happy to nip onto the other boards for a natter.

I suppose I'd like to thank b3ta, for improving my day, as without you, I'd simply be bored shitless, sat at a desk.

*raises a glass to B3ta*
*drinks*
*falls over*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I joined 8 years, 7 months and 20 days ago...
No idea how I found it. Was under the nic 'mousemonkey'. I was working at a crappy games company at the time and during the lunch break I made a tasteless '3 Men and a Baby' tattyshop pic for a compo featuring 'Gary Glitter, Jonathan King and Matthew Kelly' I think Kelly had just been 'accused' at the time of kiddy fiddling and it started a bit of a storm on the board. (I was young and stupid)
My work colleagues all started telling me I could get sued and in massive shit. That night my girlfriend recieved the pic from her friend in the US and it was then I realized the viral power of the internet.

My first frontpage was someone elses. It was around the same time. A random person mailed me to ask if I could post their 'Dogodile' pic. I recently recieved a message from that very person thanking me. They're now a B3ta member proper. (CjR Mix :)

Only recently started posting my illustrations under this nic after alot of lurking. B3ta is an inspiration and has given me plenty of chortles. Long may it continue!
( tokyosexwhale Straight From my Mind Penis..., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Mind bleach immune
One of the things I remember from this site over and above the many fatastic things that b3ta has introduced to me via the newsletter was an animation by Ben Wheatley made entirely from cocks, bumholes & mimsys with a drum & bass version of yummy yummy yummy (I've got love in my tummy). I didn't even watch all of it because it is disgusting but it burned it's self on to my brain forevermore. Thanks Ben

www.mrandmrswheatley.co.uk/prettycreatures.html (NSFW at all ever even if you work in the porn industry)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:07, 1 reply)