Beat this
When I was 6 I was an extra in an awful childrens tv drama called "Letty" in the early 80's. I think most of my fame hit the cutting room floor so by my reckoning I'm still due about 14min 59secs. Got paid the princely sum of £17.50 for half a day though.
(Boney N left a cake out in the rain, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 15:30, Reply)

All Rubish
Parents best friends with The Cure's manager.
Know the producer of the Walking with Dinosaurs series.

Dad made it into the Gunnies book of records for shearing (yes I said Shearing) the most amount of sheep in a day.

I got Ron Lowbecks autograph (old ITV weather man on local Southern telly)

And I agree with the comments about the Crypt, it is nasty, haven't been for years but my mates still go most Saturdays, though it is the least Chav-like club in the shit-pit which is Hastings.
( Sheep in Socks it is illegal to take a lion to the cinema., Mon 28 Feb 2005, 15:27, Reply)

The least interesting man on TV
I think used a urinal next to Jerry Seinfeld. It was a couple years before his show started, but I had seen him on the Rodney Dangerfield young comedians special, so I knew who he was.

I was using the bathroom at a comedy show and he just looked at me like "I wonder if he knows who I am?"

I'm criminally indifferent to that man.
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 15:16, Reply)

Rachy:
Phill in y11 is me.
And just so it's not a threadwaste: On Friday I met EU minister Dennis McShane. I asked him if voters would all get a copy of the constitution when there is a referendum too.
( Greenbat, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 15:10, Reply)

you have unleashed a monster
I have:

- some of Jonathan Ross's coffee
- Nick Ross' Crimewatch pen from the 80s
- chatted to a truly f***ed Roisin from Moloko because she liked my skirt
- lived in the Propellorheads old house, and so on one drunken moment given Will White his mail whilst he was rather busy DJing at a club
- apologised to TWO former Tomorrow's World presenters for my friends' behaviour (on two separate occassions)
- served Peter Gabriel years ago when he bought millions of lamps in Habitat
- been a bit blase about being complimented by Tom Cruise
- been checked out by Joaquin Phoenix (God can strike me down now)
- a boyfriend who has nearly been run over by a tank and played a dead man's leg in an Ultimate Force movie (still makes me laugh) and met Guy Pierce on Going Live

Also, my mum has over her long and illustrious career(s), been chased by Fanny Craddock through Harrods and locked Bing Crosby out of his dressing room. She also saw Ron Perlman having a fag outside the Bentalls Centre in Kingston.

It's a long and fine family tradition.

(Mum's better at it)
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 15:03, Reply)

i've got Andy Crane's autograph
you can touch me now.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 14:28, Reply)

I sucked...
...Bill Clinton's cock.






Still got the evidence to prove it.
(Monica Lewinski, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 14:27, Reply)

While at a mates b'day bash at Fabric,
after finishing his set on the decks a certain Mr Tim Westcountry was meeting and greeting fans behind the DJ booth. I sauntered up, and molestged him close 3 successive times, obviously I waited until the 3rd molest to cup/squeeze/fondle/mince to a pulp his manly testicles with my right hand. All this occured under the watchful eye of Tim Westcountry's 8ft albino minder, and all the while me giving him "Great props for a wicked/blinding, big dog stylee set man! Your father must be proud of you man!"

Apart from that I saw the dope smoking nazi prince heading for paddington tube station as I was exiting it on saturday afternoon with two equally toffy looking mates.

My life is intresting, honest it is.
(ad, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 14:09, Reply)

Snatching the cash
Sold Brad Pitt two massive bales of quite possibly the lamest grass I've ever seen (for a not inconsiderable sum), whilst he in England shooting Snatch. It was so poor my mates dubbed it 'Subbuteo' and no-one would buy it.

He thought it was great.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 13:58, Reply)

I am in the Guinness Book of Records
Well, I used to be anyway, haven't seen a copy for a few years.... I'm in the biggest school photo in the UK (Exmouth Community College, taken from a helicopter, 2,500 or so pupils, taken about 15 years ago)... I am in the spur at about 4 o'clock, about 20 people in from the centre.

Other than that I know some mildly famous people, but no-one terribly exciting. And certainly none of them got in the Guinness Book of Records.
( shavedchimp something something oranges something, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 13:55, Reply)

Not me, but
My mate spilled Charlie from Busted's pint, then refused to buy him another. What a hero.

Edit: oh and the same guy also invented triangular teabags but never thought to patent them. *slaps forehead*

Also Adventchild, I've banged Kirsten Dunst as well! Maybe we know each other...
(weirzbowski, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 13:44, Reply)

Not me but..
A friend of mine's boyfriend was in a Crimewatch reconstruction last week.

In it he got raped by a big black man.
(Arnolfini wasn't feeling very funny on, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 13:39, Reply)

People I've met (kinda)...
Snuck onto the set of the Medallion and got very close to both Jackie Chan and Samo Hung

Almost met Mikey from Boyzone - was going to say "Hey - aren't you that guy from fatal Deviation" (really awful martial-arts film made in the arse-end of Ireland, which did actually star Mikey)
But I was so taken aback by how titchy he is that I didn't have the heart to accost him.

Oh yeah, and I've been in the audience for two TV shows
(Kyzia was here on, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 13:15, Reply)

Jiz-worms and rucks
i invented the term "jizz-worm" to describe a descarded used condom on the ground that looks like a squashed worm.

My brothers mate has a picture of his foot sticking out of a ruck in his rugby clubs website
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 13:14, Reply)

I once made a jpeg of Debbie McGee being fucked by an alsatian.
It was in response to the Louis Theroux programme with her and Paul Daniels, in which the annoying bald illusionist responded to the persistent rumours about her, saying he'd love to see such a picture it actually existed. So, to make him happy, I found a picture (can't remember where, filth fans) of a woman being rogered by a canine - doggy style, naturally - and Photoshopped Debbie's head onto it in a deliberately amateurish way. It got into the Popbitch newsletter - and my boss and my mother both mentioned that they'd seen it on my site. Oh dear.

As a footnote, there was a reference to an image of a woman being fucked by a dog in the first episode of Nathan Barley. I did wonder about that.
(xyandz, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 12:52, Reply)

7th Guest
The first (perhaps) CD-ROM Game for the PC and Amiga CD thingy. I was asked to be a ghost for a big PR event for all the coders. It was in a massive house and they had to re enact the game in real life. They all got dinner and as it was a Virgin game Richard Branson was supposed to come, but his helecopter was delayed...? I did however get to see the game before the whole world and take Violet Berlin's coat. Not as good as banging Kirsten Dunst though Advent Child?!?
( studlywonder, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 12:45, Reply)

claims to fame
I once worked as a wiatress and served one of the old Beatles managers, can't remember his name, but he did tell me he was offered either a pay rise or 10% shares in Apple, twunt went for the payrise. He didn't leave a tip-nice bloke though.
I also appeared as an extra on Crimewatch file
I also lived near David Jason, and sold him some anti-dandruff (Pantene)shampoo in the Chemist where I worked.
My dad got Bob Monkhouse to open our school fete-did i really admit that out loud?????
(audreyforbes audreyforbes, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 12:37, Reply)

Yawn
I'm supposed to be having a meeting with the animator of Pigeon Street today. But he's already an hour and a half late.

*twiddles fingers*
( icezebra *insert large monkey*, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 12:26, Reply)

Telling a celeb his position in life
my dad parked over an entrance in his lorry, he did this to deliver some things to a shop, Ian Beale blokey from Eastbenders apeared from this entrance in his motor, said to my dad "are you going to be long" to which he replied "no just talking this into this shop", Then came the celeb quote they all use "do you know who i am" my dad said back " your that bloke of the telly and your a tcunt and now you cannot move till i do" with that my dad entered the shop and proceeded to have a cuppa making celeb chappie wait.
(funkie, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 11:58, Reply)

So many..
but all so poo
I go to university with Iwan Blair and have pissed next to him on a number of occasions.
I once sang "my lovely horse" by the Divine Comedy on national radio.
I recently played table football with the second best female slovakian table footballer. And lost.
I have been hit on the head with a mallett by none other than Timmy Mallett after trying to wrest the mallett from his grasp and lay about him with it. In a nightclub. I also swore profusely at him for no good reason. Strange.
I met one of the guys from Goldie Lookin' chain and almost managed to steal him.
My uncle Robert Eisenman and his brother Peter are quite famous. As a bible scholar and an architect respectively. Peter managed to get accused of anti-semetism despite being a screaming jew germany.archiseek.com/news/2004/000004.html
I also once saw Garth Crooks near my house. at least i think it was him. Oh dear.
Apologies for extremely cocking crap nature of above facts.
Oh well....
*fwapfwapfwapfwapfwap*
still going from last week
*fwap*




*fwap*
(chocolatepossum, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 11:57, Reply)

Shit one, but...
there's a parody of The Streets doing the rounds on the internet... I wrote that.

I also played Crazy Golf with Roy Walker in Great Yarmouth when I was younger.
(I'm afraid of wet bread, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 11:51, Reply)

I was on WAC-a-day
so there.
(Raps, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 11:24, Reply)

Essex Rider
As a boy, I competed at the National Donkey Handling championships, and got a photo of myself dressed in tweed with a flat cap standing with my donkey, Bushwood Barnaby
( Mr Gimpson Wolfguts, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 10:40, Reply)

never one to brag
so i cannot tell you all.
i work in the film industry so that helps.
some highlights include:

appearances in various teenage magazines
various modelling media
3 x 20"x20" posters of me in downtown calgary
a few newspaper photos coming out of clubs with random celebrities
telling courteney cox not to quit friends after series 3 (she really did listen)
banging kirsten dunst (she is an evil bitch though)
getting pissed with brad pitt in mexico
learning french with eddie izzard
getting knocked out by the rock (wwf dude)
being very good friends with keinosuke enoeda (very well known in karate world)
getting a fp with my first post on b3ta
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Mon 28 Feb 2005, 10:40, Reply)

There was a Playstation game called Medievil
Where you play a skeleton. If he loses his weapons he can take his arm off and beat people up with it. In the first game there was also disembodied hands running about (like Thing from Addams Family). In a focus group to prepare for the sequel to the game I suggested that the character should be able to take his head off to put it places to look at things he wouldn't otherwise see or that he should even be able to take his head off and put it on one of the hands running about and send it off exploring on its own.

They took my advice and the cover of the game Medievil 2 shows my idea!
( Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 10:33, Reply)

way back in 1983
I came up with an idea for a train based on magnetic levitation. I had drawings. I had explanations of how the thing stayed hovering above the track and the poles switched on the magnets to accellerate or decellerate the train. I had some copper wires, circuits and ferrite rods and car batteries all wired up to show the principal.
Then some smarmy japanese twunt stole the idea and patented it.
( Frumbert has no sig, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 9:57, Reply)

not me,
but my good freind Dom who used to DJ back in the 80's at the Hacienda was a local producer at the time. Liam Gallagher used to hang out at some local club somewhere in Macnhester way before he was famous. Anyways, after one night of heavy smoking he gave Dom a tape with him and his brother singing. Dom took it away, played it and thought it was rubbish. He recorded over it.
(sillypoo, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 9:52, Reply)

10 years ago i was on the much-maligned Channel 4 quiz show "15-to-1".
i've been out drinking with the brother (and indeed cousin) of overly-muscled talent vacuum Peter Andre.

i've had a letter published in Viz, in which i called Rory McGrath a "melon-headed cunt".
( new_matt, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 9:40, Reply)

CLaim
Played trivial pursuit with Joe Pasquale and went to school with one of the Guantanamo bay 4. Actually have quite a few more cause I used to work in a theatre which is cheating I suppose.
(Celtican is 10! Old school or what?, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 8:45, Reply)