I don't understand
why working class types are so excited by a fully clothed woman walking past that they have to jump up and down and scream after them like monkeys.

"Look, over there.... its not is it... IT IS! KINELL, ITS AN ADULT HUMAN WOMAN! FWIT FWOO!"

I thought builders and that were at it all the time.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:25, 9 replies)

---- movie
eg Epic/Date/Scary

It's not as if the homage/patiche are subtle and humour is little more than dick/fart jokes (nothing wrong with it) but we should get more than that. The original films of this type (Airplane et al) had plots and word play that is still quoted today.
(langers, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:24, 5 replies)

Small ratty hyperactive dogs
I've recently had a succession of short relationships where the final straw for me has been their loving adoration of some little hyperactive flea bag shit bag dog.

Highland terriers, jack russels, Yorkshire terriers etc.

WHAT, please WHAT is the attraction to a bad smelling hyperactive bag of meat that demands attention, brings fleas or other nasties into the house, craps in the garden and costs a fortune????

I personally imagine Satan himself has one and when I end up in Hell I'm bound to have to look after it.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:23, 10 replies)

Anal sex
Do people not realise what comes out of a lady's chamber of horrors? (Or a man's for matter whatever floats your boat) Would you stick your cock into the soil-stack next time you replace the bathroom suite?

No, of course not. It's an arse and even if the receiver had just had a colonic with Mr Muscle Drain Cleaner, then I for one will never see the attraction of the bourneville boulevard.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:22, 22 replies)

Slightly off topic....
...but this question reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend who came out last year, after years of keeping it from most of his friends (he thought he was keeping it from us, anyway...)

Me: Well, I'm glad you felt you could tell us...
Friend 1: So, how long have you been gay?
Gay friend: I dunno... always I suppose... you just become more sure as you get older
Friend 1: So when did you become really sure?
Gay friend: Well, you know I had a few relationships with girls at Uni?
Us: Yeah?
Gay Friend: Well.... fannies... they're just weird, aren't they?
Us: Hmmmm... suppose so...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:20, 3 replies)

Baggie Beanie Smurf hats
WTF?

Men of limited intelligence and maximum vanity seem to think that looking like a retarded smurf is cool.

They make me seethe for some reason. Must be my age.

Look nice on women though.
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:20, 3 replies)

harry potter
Sister bought me the first book for christmas (I was ~28). Hauled myself through most of it and gave up. With two pages left. Dreadful.

On the flip side I applaud JKR for singlehandedly igniting serious interest in reading for a generation of children, but that is what her books are: child literature. America has Dan Brown (his books are shit an' all), we have JKR.
(mersault, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:19, 9 replies)

Superheroes.
Because they're so PREDICTABLE and convenient. Someone has epic powers, or is granted them, and has to come to terms with them. They also have to learn to cope with "normality" in a world where people don't flinch at giant monsters, monorail crashes and vapid, manipulative women. Along the way they will encounter an enemy or an ordeal that is always (conveniently) slightly less powerful than they are.

And I know you're going to mention those instances where the form is subverted, but it's always conscious of that, and when you're watching it there's nothing to set it apart from a pastiche.

I don't understand how the same movie can be released twice every year with slightly different "superpowers", and still get rave reviews. Let's have something with a bit of plot, please!!

//end rant
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:19, 9 replies)

Having an incredibly busty girl climb on top and ride you
Is absolutely fucking horrific. Its a bit like being headbutted in the face by a relentless, rhythmic, aggressively co-ordinated bald midget tag team duo.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:19, 15 replies)

Jutting bones & scrawney legs.
How can any self respecting man get sexually aroused by those women who look like recent guests of a concentration camp.

Is it the fact that a lot of them look like a scrawny 12 year old boy and sets something off these "men" can't admit to themselves?
(barrycounty, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:18, 2 replies)

Janet Street-Porter
Seriously, HOW is this woman famous let alone on TV?

Ugly, irritating voice, horrid personality.... if ever there was a case for involuntary euthenasia.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:17, 5 replies)

Somebody has to do it...
Your mum.

Oh, and /talk...

controversies
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:15, 1 reply)

fog lights
I've got to be careful this doesn't just turn into a list of things I don't care for, but I honestly don't see the attraction of:

- driving with fogs on permanently, your car doesn't look better but you look like even more of a wanker
- caviar?!
- fake breasts
-football - bunch of overpaid nancy boys poncing around over a poxy leather sphere for 90 minutes, seriously WTF!? And I wouldn't be surprised if most of them didn't have a drama degree or some sort of acting qualification too!

I'm sure i'll think of many more, but this will get the ball rolling, fnar fnar.
(mr_spongmonkey, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:11, 4 replies)

Pretty much all physical intimacy
Reality TV
James Corden
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:08, 6 replies)

Peter Ustinov
It's some old bloke doing silly voices & telling not particularly funny anecdotes about the time he met a washerwoman in Serbia whilst only wearing a hat & eating mallard. My mates love & piss their sides at him.
I'll add the Goon Show whilst I'm here too.
( ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:08, 2 replies)

Dangermouse. Fucking Dangermouse
"So," she said, "What's your favourite TV programme?"

To be honest, I didn't really have one, but I was getting on like a house on firewith Ange, and if cards were played right, there was every chance of red-hot hand-up-the-jumper action, with the further prospect of hand-up-her-jumper to follow.

"I'll tell you what I don't like, though" I said, for I am often very clear at what gets my goat.

"Oh, yes?" she said sweetly.

"Dangermouse."

"Mmm?"

"Dangermouse. What. A. Load. Of. Crap. No stories. Crap animation. Stupidest theme tune. I'd set the cat on the little squirt."

She got up.

She left.

There would be no hand-up-the-jumper. Not tonight. Not ever.

The next day at college, her best friend collared me in the sixth floor corridor.

"What have you done to Ange? She LOVES Dangermouse."

Ange, it turned out, also liked Fraggle Rock.

Damn you, David Jason. Damn you to HELL.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:06, 5 replies)

Any kind of coke
tastes like shit-flavoured poison to me - I think I've tried it 3 times in my life and hated it each time.

EDIT: Fuck! I meant to write 'cola'. Any kind of cola.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:06, 4 replies)

The Mighty Boosh.
I have no particular story or rant to go with this; they just seem half-arsed to me. I think I laughed at one of their jokes once.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:05, 12 replies)

Chart music
Most class A drugs
Taking someone drunk home to have sex with them when you're sober
Christianity
Reggae
Talking about football with people who don't care about football
Eating any form of fish/seafood (yuck)
Using "text speak" style abbreviation in any written medium where there's no character limit imposed
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:01, 1 reply)

Fairgrounds
Jesus, everyone complains about pikey scum rocking up and parking their theif addled caravan camps in the middle of rural Wiltshire but as soon as they get out the dodgems and rat burgers people flock to them like flies round s**t!

It's like hating rats but loving pidgeons!

You know some of those f***ing rides cost over a million pounds?! Do you?! Do you know how they afford them? By stealing and avoiding paying fucking taxes, that's how, you c***s!

F**k off you pikey s***s!
(Super Oaf Petit filous?, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:00, 9 replies)

Resse Witherspoon
Surely not just me that thinks she looks a bit 'Downsy'.
(Uncle Jumbo will strip for pocket change (and/or Gin), Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:59, 10 replies)

7th!
Holy crap, first ten posts!

.... I'll think of something later.
(TuftyBee should have been working on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Russell Brand
What, exactly, do women see in him?? Any female b3tan's care to enlighten me?? Maybe I can work out where I'm going wrong...
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:57, 6 replies)

Jordan
don't get it, ugly dog.... Well not to my tastes anyway.
(Kip, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:56, 2 replies)

Trying to get first post
Never understood it. First page however....
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:56, 2 replies)

4th!!
I think...? Oh, it looks like I'm 3rd now.

Probably the closest I'll come to being 1st here.
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:56, 2 replies)

Little Britain
At the height of it's popularity, I seemed to be the only person in the country that didn't think it was the funniest show on TV. Surely I can't be the only person who thinks it is utter, utter toss?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:55, 21 replies)

1st

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:55, 7 replies)